lowest of the low: worst movie ever?

we've done favourite director, favourite film, and so forth, but what's the biggest pile of manure you've ever seen? (someone's probably done this one, as well, but maybe you've seen a real gem since.)

i can usually find something good about most films, but never before have i had the urge to crawl into the television set and murder the main character, as i did while watching 'malibu's most wanted.'

Well, I mentioned that Carrot Top movie in another thread--though thankfully, I haven't seen it. There are a lot of really bad excuses for comedies out there. And I've heard that the Vanilla Ice movie (Cool as Ice) is horrible, though undoubtedly so bad it's actually enjoyable, as are many horror movies. One movie that left an awful taste in my mouth was Igby Goes Down; what an overrated sack of shit. Another one was Weekend by Godard, though at least he was trying to make a point about cinema not being all fun and games; still, even a film like Irreversible, which deliberately tried to make the audience unwell, was a very interesting and stylish film (recommended for those with strong stomachs!). I generally try to block bad movies out of my memory until someone mentions one of them and I projectile vomit on them. Oh, oh! Pearl Harbor--that one was awfulness incarnate; in fact, everything by Michael Bay (and almost all stuff similarly produced by Jerry "Filthy Lucre" Bruckheimer) deserves burning. Perhaps a better question is...what happens when good directors go bad? What are some huge disappointments from ordinarily spot-on directors (I'm thinking of the Coen brothers' last two films)?

i quite liked 'igby goes down,' actually.

Originally posted by AgentWood i quite liked 'igby goes down,' actually.

Ewww...how? I want those snide upper-class yuppie New York hipster types to be wiped off the earth before they turn into executives or art dealers or at least say something else that is supposed to sound clever and/or postmodern but just comes out as pretentious posturing. I mean, they're way worse than me. :D

But really, I was looking forward to the film after hearing it was a witty black comedy comparable to Rushmore or Catcher in the Rye. Too bad the end result was such a hideous mess of a movie that left me wanting the characters dead all throughout. I kept waiting for something funny, but nothing happened in the first half hour--and then I continued to watch the whole movie in utter disgust (not being one to walk away from a challenging film) and slowly realized that it was not going to become funny. Even the small presence of Jeff Goldblum couldn't save it (maybe if he was the titlar character instead), and neither could the other talented actors in the cast--all of whom I've seen in much better roles than that dreadful film.

In short, I disliked it.

On the "so bad it's enjoyable" theme: Plan 9 From Outer Space. (Has this topic been discussed here before? Bit of a deja-vu-all-over-again feeling here. ) The UFO shots get me every time. They knock Weta & ILM into a cocked hubcap! Now back to proper shite...

The 'American Pie' and 'Austin Powers' series: honestly can't see what the fuss is about, just not funny.

Originally posted by Element115 On the "so bad it's enjoyable" theme: Plan 9 From Outer Space.

ooh! 'attack of the killer tomatoes!' i don't think i've ever laughed so hard.

A great really bad movie is Friday the 13th Part 3. It has to be the campiest one of the series (no pun intended), especially since it was released in 3-D and still has a number of shots with objects conspicuously poking into the camera. Oh, and Jason gets his hockey mask for the first time in this one. Did I mention there's a biker gang in this one?

Attack of the killer tomatoes is a classic of the genre, too.

Sphere

I walked out of it, the time i ever walked out of a movie.

I've had to sit through some fairly bad movies, mostly ones my sister picked out, such as "She's all that" and a "Walk to remember." I wasn't able to even sit through the latter because the plot seemed so cliched and the characters stereotypical. Plus, Mandy Moore should never appear in a movie - or any pop star for that matter - and try to pass off appearing "pure."

The Hellraiser series. Total rammel.

Titanic Lord of the rings parts 1-3 (espically 2) anything with harrison ford all tim burton films bar "edward scissorhands" the last to efforts by the coen bros

many many more

The two worst movies I've ever seen are Babe: Pig in the City (don't blame me, my mum wanted to see it and even she hated it in the end) and The Sixth Sense, which I thought was a totally overblown made-for-TV thing that could've been over in an hour.

David, you are so spot on about 'Igby Goes Down' that it almost makes me want to weep with joy....

Anyone seen "Race with the Devil" starring Peter Fonda & Warren Oates - a true contender for the all-time so-bad-it's-good Oscar. "I don't believe in school on sundays"......oh lordy!!!!!!!!!!!!

Originally posted by twist SphereI walked out of it, the time i ever walked out of a movie.

That movie was lame, but I liked the book when I was younger. Too bad I later found out that it's a ripoff of Solaris.

Originally posted by Element115 On the "so bad it's enjoyable" theme: Plan 9 From Outer Space. (Has this topic been discussed here before? Bit of a deja-vu-all-over-again feeling here. ) The UFO shots get me every time. They knock Weta & ILM into a cocked hubcap! Now back to proper shite...The 'American Pie' and 'Austin Powers' series: honestly can't see what the fuss is about, just not funny.

I think I even liked Glen or Glenda better than Plan 9. Then again, having the director star as a transvestite is funny in itself--but all the more funny after seeing bits of it reinacted in Burton's great biopic.

Speaking of bad teen movies, they seem to have come out with even more of them in the 80's than these days. Those stoopid Meatballs movies, for example, or The Last American Virgin (which has only one thing going for it, one of my very favorite Oingo Boingo songs was only released on the soundtrack).

The second Nutty Professor movie

grease 2 was pretty nauseating.

i was so fcuking bored the other night i actually sat through 'from justin to kelly' in its entirety. well, i lived. i guess that's good, isn't it?

Originally posted by Doctor Clayhead Anyone seen "Race with the Devil" starring Peter Fonda & Warren Oates - a true contender for the all-time so-bad-it's-good Oscar. "I don't believe in school on sundays"......oh lordy!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is that the one where two couples come across some satanists out in the middle of nowhere sacrificing some person, and they are spotted and have to run (and drive) like hell for their lives as the cultists chase them? Saw that when I was about 13 or so.

I do believe that this topic has been done before, but it certainly needs to be updated again. I do recall posting that the movie Monsignor, with Chrisopher Reeve as a priest, is the first one I ever walked out of cause it was so bad. Recently sat through Charlie's Angels 2 at a relatives house, and rolled my eyes the entire time at the acting, dialog, and logic defying action taking place on the screen in front of me. Thank god I didn't pay for that rental.

Forgot about the film version of Bonfire Of The Vanities. Tom Hanks as a Master Of The Universe? Melanie Griffith as the hot mistress? Puh-leeze. Only watched it one time, but I do recall gritting my teeth at how badly they adapted that one from a decent book.

Originally posted by His Holiness, The Pope > Originally posted by Element115 On the "so bad it's enjoyable" theme: Plan 9 From Outer Space. (Has this topic been discussed here before? Bit of a deja-vu-all-over-again feeling here. ) The UFO shots get me every time. They knock Weta & ILM into a cocked hubcap! Now back to proper shite...The 'American Pie' and 'Austin Powers' series: honestly can't see what the fuss is about, just not funny.

I think I even liked Glen or Glenda better than Plan 9. Then again, having the director star as a transvestite is funny in itself--but all the more funny after seeing bits of it reinacted in Burton's great biopic.

Speaking of bad teen movies, they seem to have come out with even more of them in the 80's than these days. Those stoopid Meatballs movies, for example, or The Last American Virgin (which has only one thing going for it, one of my very favorite Oingo Boingo songs was only released on the soundtrack). "Oxford Blues" was pretty lame. Even though Ally Sheedy was in it, I couldn't sit through it when it was on TV a while ago. And, then, there was "Porky's".

The Sixth Sense (boring) Unbreakable (worst ending ever) Signs (actually, this has the worst ending ever) Jeepers Creepers Armageddon Godzilla

Starship Troopers has gotta take the biscuit when the films survivors (who started off as rookies) are training the next set of rookies to be hero's like them... how cheesy can you get

love the film though! (Denise Phoooar!!) :p

Originally posted by The DoN love the film though! (Denise Phoooar!!) :p

Yes. She's the one who should've been in that co-ed shower scene, and that one random sex scene set out in a battle zone somewhere

Originally posted by Spotnick > Originally posted by Major Tarantino The Sixth Sense (boring)Unbreakable (worst ending ever)Signs (actually, this has the worst ending ever)Jeepers CreepersArmageddonGodzilla

Obviously you're not a M. Night Shyamalan fan...

Can't begrudge him for Unbreakable though, that was nothing special.

Off the top of my head..

Meatballs 3 (campy, but horrible) Who's Harry Crumb? Blue Streak (waste of Dave Chappelle) Jefferson In Paris (the only movie so boring my father walked out of, and took us with him thank god) Porky's II and III

Gotta go see Dodgeball now (hopefully it won't make this list), so possible edits/additions later..

Jaws: The Revenge

Originally posted by The DoN Starship Troopers has gotta take the biscuitwhen the films survivors (who started off as rookies) are training the next set of rookies to be hero's like them...how cheesy can you get love the film though! (Denise Phoooar!!) :p

starship troopers is a brilliant film! it's one of the best satires about fascism i've ever seen.

as for mrs. charlie sheen, she's beautiful but a little too 'perfect,' in a barbie doll way. it's disconcerting.

dirty dancing ........

Originally posted by shane roberts dirty dancing ........

I take it you didn't see the recent sequel?

And on the same subject, Flashdance is awful, too. I've only seen about 5 minutes of it, but those were a sucky 5 minutes.

In terms of movies I've walked out of, there's "The Rainmaker" (slowwwwwwwwwwww).

Overall, nothing beats the Star Wars Holiday Special (even though technically it wasn't a movie)

The recent remake of Planet of the Apes. One of the worst endings ever.

Originally posted by Tristan The recent remake of Planet of the Apes. One of the worst endings ever.

Thank God Burton's partly redeemed himself with "Big Fish"--even if it was a tad over-schmaltsy.

Originally posted by Tristan The recent remake of Planet of the Apes. One of the worst endings ever.

Worst ending? You forgot about the rest of the movie, except for Estella Warren, who was nice to look at; tried to watch it when it was on FX or whatever, and the whole thing just sucked so badly.

Originally posted by Taboo # 7 In terms of movies I've walked out of, there's "The Rainmaker" (slowwwwwwwwwwww).Overall, nothing beats the Star Wars Holiday Special (even though technically it wasn't a movie)

The Rainmaker wasn't too bad, although I'd read the book before.

leperchaun, jack frost (the killer snowman horror movie), all the scary movies, terminator 3.