In my world he does :p
THE BRIAN WILSON MYSTERIES, EPISODE ONE: GOOD VIBRATIONS?
The year is 1966, and Brian Wilson is busy in the studio laying the final tracks down for his landmark album "Pet Sounds". A call comes through on the phone; there has been a mysterious murder in Wilson's old neighborhood in Hawthorne, California, and the LAPD is befuddled for an explanation. Wilson, an amateur sleuth as well as the primary creative force behind the Beach Boys, hurries to the scene to gather clues.
When he arrives, he is met by Darryl Gates, a hard-nosed patrolman who looks down upon Wilson and his "rock and roll degenerate" cohorts. Gates grudgingly acknowledges Wilson's presence, but won't let the composer of "Don't Worry Baby" to cross the police line until he is sure headquarters won't mind. Wilson enters the home of an old family friend, Mr. I.V. Wong of 32 Crescent Avenue. It is a scene he will not soon forget.
In Mr. Wong's bedroom, Wilson observes a spattering of blood stains on the wall facing the street. In the bed itself is the corpse of Mr. Wong, a fifty-two-year old grocer from the Chinatown section of Los Angeles who has had many violent run-ins with Wilson's father Murray. Brian worries that his father may have been behind the homicide, but he also worries that perhaps little brother Carl won't be able to achieve the difficult vocalizations needed to make "God Only Knows" absolutely perfect. Wilson, after all, is a perfectionist when it comes to the recording studio, but he is also aware that the crime scene needs to be contained before it can be contaminated.
Gates comes into the room and lays out the case for Wilson: at approximately 9:30 the previous evening, neighbors reported that Mr. Wong was seen in the company of a busty blonde who seemed intoxicated and disoriented. Wilson suspects it is none other than Michelle Phillips, of the Mamas and The Papas, but keeps his hunch to himself. He doesn't want to tip his hand to Gates, a bird-dog investigator who would never understand the complex chord structure of "Wouldn't It Be Nice".
Gates continues: At 11 PM, sounds of an argument are reported coming from the Wong residence, but due to the mostly white neighborhood's reluctance to welcome Mr. Wong in their presence even after all these years, no one calls the police. Wilson asks if this is why he didn't learn of the murder right away, and if this is somehow indicative of a racist policy within the LAPD, one that led to the Watts riots of a year previously. Gates through gritted teeth denies any such policy, but Wilson suspects that prejudice is ripe on the force.
The blonde was seen exiting the residence soon after, in the company of a bushy-haired man with a walrus mustache. Wilson recalls from memory that David Crosby, of the rival West Coast group the Byrds, has just such a mustache, but again decides not to divulge this to Gates. No one comes to check on Wong until 4 AM that morning, when his brutally battered body is found. Gates surmises that Wong was beat about the head with a blunt object, possibly a copy of Simon and Garfunkel's "The Sound Of Silence" LP. Wilson sees where a blood-stained copy of the album is being dusted for prints by LAPD crime scene investigators.
Wilson pauses to consider the scene, then offers his observations to Gates: "Much like myself in December 1964, when I developed an irrational fear of air travel and could no longer tour with the Beach Boys, I believe the LAPD is at the mercy of a desire to dust this murder under the rug as yet another 'hippie' killing. But the killer here is much too clever to be a simple hippie. Much like Mike Love, who espouses the peace-and-love mantra of the Maharishi and yet calls my latest work 'ego music', this man is a walking contradiction. My feeling is that your killer is not a hippie nor a 'Negro crazed for white blood', as I overheard one of your lesser officers opine when I came onto the scene. He is crafty, an ex-con with a desire to break into the music business. In fact, his character seems slightly familiar...I fear perhaps my brother Dennis has allowed him into our company, but I dare not say anything. Dennis will surely hit the bottle even harder than when 'Help Me Rhonda' went number one. No, Gates, the man you seek is known to me, and I fear that this is just the beginning."
Gates, unappreciative of Wilson's gifts as a detective or a master of weaving subtle emotions into songs ostensibly about trivial issues such as car-racing, ignores Wilson's clues about "a hippie preacher who yearns" for a coming race war he believes will mark the end of times. Wilson, spurned by the LAPD, returns to his solitary life away from the spotlight and the special "Brian Wilson" Signal the LAPD has installed to alert him at night when criminals are afoot goes unanswered. Three years later, Wilson's predictions are fully realized when Tiny Tim gets married on the "Tonight Show"...and Charles Manson goes on a murderous rampage in Los Angeles. But Wilson will not rest in his pursuit to fight crime, or record a follow-up hit to the last Beach Boys number one for years, "Good Vibrations".
COMING SOON, EPISODE TWO OF "THE BRIAN WILSON MYSTERIES": Brian tries to determine who took his drug stash in SURF'S UP!
