A MOTION PICTURE EVENT FROM 20TH CENTURY FOX NEWS
A Gustav Holst Film [orange]RETIPUJ: The Bringer of Jollity[/orange]
The heartwarming story of a courageous little squirt named Rocket Mike. Half-man! Half-biscuit! ALL LOVER!!
starring
"Rocket" Mick Gregson
and
"Digital" Mike Garrity (nee Binoche)
The critics are raving about RETIPUJ!! (No, really!)
Maya Zivanovic, future double-amputee, says: "This movie got me so hot, if I had no legs, I would leave a trail like a slug!"
Tristan McDerrmott, Esq., noted Dixiecrat scholar, sez: "The political ramifications of this movie are immanent...or is that eminent? Anyway, it made me vote for Bush twice!"
Trevor Siegler, repressed homosexual and future tire salesman, once said, on the occasion of his 47th birthday: "Don't worry, sweetie. Just wipe it on the sheets."
Robert Smith, paperweight, said between mouthfuls of pie: "If I never see another movie about man's inhumanity to man, it will be too-morrow."
The Right Honorable Charles A. Tittifuck, counselor to Her Majesty the Flaming Queen, remarked: "I have no idea what I just saw and now my bowels are leaking. But at least it was better than the last Michael Bay movie!"
Current President and suspected terrorist/war criminal George W. Bush could not be reached for comment. However, the White House spokesman said that Bush was busy sobbing under his sheets and crying over the kinder, simpler days of snorting coke off a hooker's ass.
[orange]RETIPUJ![/orange] See it today, before some illegal alien gets there first!
Rated R, for gross violence, attempted necrophilia, zombie gore, light profanity, intense images, an expletive involving the word "kitten," a Bono cameo, and four erect penises.
:p