Drunk daughter

My daughter Amanda, 14, came home drunk for the first time last friday night.

What do you say to your kid, when they know that you self was drunk aged 14?

Rian wrote: My daughter Amanda, 14, came home drunk for the first time last friday night.

What do you say to your kid, when they know that you self was drunk aged 14?

You say: "Don't do it, look how I turned out - you don't want to be like this!"

you could take the piss out of her a bit, then get a bit serious and talk to her about being responsible with alcohol and the need to use contraception - since these things are usually connected (i'm sure you neither wanted or needed me to point that out!)

and before you feel disappointed with her, sit and have a laugh with yer missus about all the stuff you got up to as a teen and all the fun you had. shit, i could go on about my yout 4 eva, but may lose my status as supateacha if i gave too much away :D

I told her 3 things the other day.

1. Don't drink to often or to much. You are young, and alcohol gives you brain damage in your age.

2. If you ever take alcohol from me, I'll beat you up.

3. If you want to have sex, always use a condom.

Good dad, aint I? :D

Errm, not so sure about the beating her up part.

Tough call to figure out what to tell your kids. I don't have any, but based on my own experiences, I'd be worried sick if my teenagers were out. I think if I ever have kids, I'll lock 'em up til they're 35. Yeah, that's it!

Most teenagers will do the opposite of what their parents say cos they think they are so uncool so tell her it's cool to get drunk and have sex.

She'll never do it again

I think you've hit the nail on the head.

Let 'em know what "you're into":

* satanic heavy metal

* hard drugs

* heavy drinking

* unsafe casual sex

* hanging around being bored

* not studying

Yeah, that should do it...

I wish i could afford to be able to get drunk in Sweden.

jesus, i am dreading the day my daughter comes home drunk, although she is only 11 so hopefully i have piece of mind for at least anoher couple of years. maybe im old school but i'd have to use the threat of Physical Violence

no rian i think you did the right thing it seems kids respond better if you talk to them as a person and share your experiences.

Snoopy wrote: I wish i could afford to be able to get drunk in Sweden.

Well, I usually buy beer from a guy who knows a guy who often go to Germany. He fills his car with beer, wine and wiskey, and sell it here.

I also use to make my own vodka. When I can't be arsed to my own, I buy from another guy. 5 litres for €50.

But, the goverment are thinking of lower the tax on alcohol with 40%!

bLuE oRdEr wrote:

I think you've hit the nail on the head.

Let 'em know what "you're into":

* satanic heavy metal

* hard drugs

* heavy drinking

* unsafe casual sex

* hanging around being bored

* not studying

Yeah, that should do it...

That will never work!

CuanaD wrote:

Rian wrote: My daughter Amanda, 14, came home drunk for the first time last friday night.

What do you say to your kid, when they know that you self was drunk aged 14?

You say: "Don't do it, look how I turned out - you don't want to be like this!"

Rian wrote:

Snoopy wrote: I wish i could afford to be able to get drunk in Sweden.

Well, I usually buy beer from a guy who knows a guy who often go to Germany. He fills his car with beer, wine and wiskey, and sell it here.

I also use to make my own vodka. When I can't be arsed to my own, I buy from another guy. 5 litres for €50.

But, the goverment are thinking of lower the tax on alcohol with 40%!

I was in Denmark last year on holidays though I hear believe Sweden is more expensive. The prices didn't stop me having a good time in Copenhagen

Snoopy wrote:

Rian wrote:

Snoopy wrote: I wish i could afford to be able to get drunk in Sweden.

Well, I usually buy beer from a guy who knows a guy who often go to Germany. He fills his car with beer, wine and wiskey, and sell it here.

I also use to make my own vodka. When I can't be arsed to my own, I buy from another guy. 5 litres for €50.

But, the goverment are thinking of lower the tax on alcohol with 40%!

I was in Denmark last year on holidays though I hear believe Sweden is more expensive. The prices didn't stop me having a good time in Copenhagen

Denmark has far better prices on alcohol. But as a part of EU, Sweden has to lower the tax.

Maybe next year, you can go to Sweden and have a good time

Rian wrote: I told her 3 things the other day.

1. Don't drink to often or to much. You are young, and alcohol gives you brain damage in your age.

2. If you ever take alcohol from me, I'll beat you up.

3. If you want to have sex, always use a condom.

Good dad, aint I? :D

reckon kidds like being knocked about a bit - keeps 'em on their toes. i like to throw books at kids when i give them out. it's become a kind of game - they give me points and stuff (and i get away with throwing them quite hard and at various parts of their bodies).

as far as saying the opposite of what you want them to do - it worked for me. my folks are always pissed (in a nice way), enjoy food and live naked in southern france. i'm a tee-total food-phobic who only gets naked for someone fit. and to bathe.:D

flo wrote:

Rian wrote: I told her 3 things the other day.

1. Don't drink to often or to much. You are young, and alcohol gives you brain damage in your age.

2. If you ever take alcohol from me, I'll beat you up.

3. If you want to have sex, always use a condom.

Good dad, aint I? :D

reckon kidds like being knocked about a bit - keeps 'em on their toes. i like to throw books at kids when i give them out. it's become a kind of game - they give me points and stuff (and i get away with throwing them quite hard and at various parts of their bodies).

as far as saying the opposite of what you want them to do - it worked for me. my folks are always pissed (in a nice way), enjoy food and live naked in southern france. i'm a tee-total food-phobic who only gets naked for someone fit. and to bathe.:D

well there has been some good advice on this subject so far,and coming from the bunch of crazys that lurk on these forums it a bit of a shock lol. ive got a 14 yr old daughter too rian and so far touch wood shes stayed away from it SO FAR. i suppose the most important thing to realise is its not a reflection on you or anyone for that matter as a parent,you can give all the advice in the world but kids will do what kids will do and at their age they cant wait to do it and nOW isnt soon enough. i remember all too well what i was like at that age which is why ive established myself as the lunatic dad. any freinds come round (boys especially) get the treatment. ill suddenly run out of a room for no apparent reason,shove as much of my hair upwards as possible ,talk very very fast,the list is endless. so they know if they get caught giving my daughter cigs,drink,or dick, its the loon that will be after them.

Tell her to not get caught, simple as that...

My mother still thinks that I only have a "pint or two" when I go down the pub. And doesn't quite figure out how a "pint or two" costs €50... Being able to hide it well usually gets you away with it for the 2-4 years before you're legally allowed get smashed.

When I was that age, I didn't drink, although I did have my first drink a year later. But, my mother's was of discipline was to scare the shit out of me and then put me on a guilt trip. I remember when I was 13, I lied about something, and she forced me to watch someone across the street getting arrested and dragged into a police car. Basically, I just became more wary of getting caught so I wouldn't have to endure another lecture.

as a non-parent I feel emeinetly qualified to dish out advice. She doesn't need to know at what age you first got drunk.

Tell her the next time, you're sending her to stay with Uncle Sven-Bob in Outhouse, Alabama (population 37). That should do it.

I'd turn up pissed myself. Surely there can't be a more embarrassing sight than a drunk parent.

whatever you do, tell her this: if she's drunk and needs to get home, call home. she doesn't need to get into a car with someone who has been drinking because she's afraid you'll be mad.

same goes for when she gets her license. if she's drunk and can't drive, tell her to call you. you'd rather have her a little embarassed and YOU a little mad than have a dead daughter.

AgentWood wrote: whatever you do, tell her this: if she's drunk and needs to get home, call home. she doesn't need to get into a car with someone who has been drinking because she's afraid you'll be mad.

same goes for when she gets her license. if she's drunk and can't drive, tell her to call you. you'd rather have her a little embarassed and YOU a little mad than have a dead daughter.

excellent advice, miss

Move to Iceland- the pocket money won't stretch far over there...

...and don't move to England- pub beer may be expensive, but you can get totally slaughtered for under a tenner if you go to an off-licence!

flo wrote:

AgentWood wrote: whatever you do, tell her this: if she's drunk and needs to get home, call home. she doesn't need to get into a car with someone who has been drinking because she's afraid you'll be mad.

same goes for when she gets her license. if she's drunk and can't drive, tell her to call you. you'd rather have her a little embarassed and YOU a little mad than have a dead daughter.

excellent advice, miss

Agreed

bLuE oRdEr wrote: Tell her the next time, you're sending her to stay with Uncle Sven-Bob in Outhouse, Alabama (population 37). That should do it.

Thank you all for all the good advices, and all the good laughs.

:)

Teenage girl here - ready to answer any questions about my generation if required - I'm not a drinker - heavily against underage drinking - but feel free to fire away any questions about it - I see it all the time.

From my experience - just dont glorify it or in any way show that being drunk is something that impresses people. Dont share funny stories about the time so ans so got drunk because she might throw them back at you.

Just act (or be) disappointed with her. If you lay down too many rules or go off at her she'ss just want to do it more or use it as escapism.

If that doesn't help you - probe me further. I represent my generation as ambassador.