MONACO

The race not the band. Ahhhhh the jewel in the crown of motor racing.

there are 3 Grands Prix you should watch.... Monaco, Silverstone and your home race ( so it's only 2 for us brits).

You wont see racing at monaco, but it's just such a stunning sight to see cars doing 190mph less than an inch from walls ( in fact Nigel mansell used to say if you could still read "goodyear" on the sides of your tyrs after qualifying you were too slow). the yachts, the semi naked rich and beautiful people, celebs by the ton, royalty, and the constand chance of a really HORRIBLE accident.....all the sort of shit that will keep non race-heads watching.

I'm posting this on a Thurs cos of Monaco's unusual timing, instead of Fri Sat Sun, they do Thurs Sat Sun so everyone can drink and go to black tie pissups on friday.

Always worth watching or at least half watching.

I think, this year as ever we'll see good people in shite cars do well when the "grandee" wankers twat the wall. Always a chance of rain too, wet monaco is hilarious entertainment.

Steve Campbell wrote: Nigel mansell used to say if you could still read "goodyear" on the sides of your tyrs after qualifying you were too slow.

The Ferraris are trying to get Goodyear on their tyres!

I hadn't realised that it was Monaco this weekend - good news!

The Aberdeen Order are planning an afternoon on the sauce - looks like a few beers watching the race at Diamond House, then out into town

Aye tis a good race for a gentle marinading. Always the chance of a hilarious first lap too. Remember 4 yrs ago or so when they blocked the entire track and we ended up with Murray and Martin commentating on the Monaco Foot GP.....about 10 drivers sprinting back to the pits to get thier T-cars out.....apart from the poor sods who had temselves and their team mate taken out and only had ne spare car.

From what I've seen of recent driving standards it's only a matter of time before Monaco turns really nasty. Been a LONG time since it killed anyone.

EDIT: I dunno if I can take the excitement of Monaco and Silverstone being back2back this year. From that tight madness....to the holiest places in England.....Copse, Maggots, Becketts, Stow, Vale, Bridge, Luffield, Woodcote.

Mate of mine was at the silverstone test a coupla weeks ago and said that to these cars, Copse is flat without even the confidence lift on turn in. I almost lose my mind hearing the whole field run through their at the start of lap 2 as it is....but FLAT out at 180+MPH...fuckin hell.

(for the uninitiated, F1 cars make more imperssive noise in corners than on straights cos of loadds through the transmission and the like...where they screech on straight they tend to howl in corners and Copse is the best corner on earth outside Belgium)

Freep 1 1 Alonso Renault M 1:16.712 97.395 mph 2 Davidson Honda M 1:16.872 0.160 3 Fisichella Renault M 1:16.888 0.176 4 M Schumacher Ferrari B 1:16.973 0.261 5 Montoya McLaren M 1:17.458 0.746 6 Kubica BMW M 1:17.869 1.157 7 Wurz WilliamsF1 B 1:17.949 1.237 8 Button Honda M 1:18.329 1.617 9 Doornbos Red Bull M 1:18.394 1.682 10 Barrichello Honda M 1:18.406 1.694 11 Coulthard Red Bull M 1:18.447 1.735 12 Rosberg WilliamsF1 B 1:18.480 1.768 13 Webber WilliamsF1 B 1:18.571 1.859 14 Massa Ferrari B 1:18.695 1.983 15 Trulli Toyota B 1:18.703 1.991 16 R Schumacher Toyota B 1:19.021 2.309 17 Villeneuve BMW M 1:19.246 2.534 18 Klien Red Bull M 1:19.543 2.831 19 Jani Toro Rosso M 1:19.651 2.939 20 Mondini Midland B 1:19.669 2.957 21 Monteiro Midland B 1:19.730 3.018 22 Liuzzi Toro Rosso M 1:19.857 3.145 23 Speed Toro Rosso M 1:20.137 3.425 24 Albers Midland B 1:20.552 3.840 25 Sato Super Aguri B 1:21.144 4.432 26 Montagny Super Aguri B 1:21.594 4.882

Good good, Monty up the sharp end, that's what i like to see, he's a bit fuckin good round monaco when he doesn't hit the walls.

And no time posted for kimi the superpilot...that's one unlucky wee bugger.

Anything to do with car racing......

Hmm..explains alot really!

oh god. car stuff.

any footy on sunday?

Hardly a race goes by without some footballer being on the grid, ligging it up large. They all WANT to be racing drivers.

Can't recall the last time I saw Juan Pablo Montoya hanging around desperate to be seen with some wally who can kick a ball straight. Anyone can play football badly you need to be a top class athlete just to survive starting an F1 car...most people would have their necks broken.

Including T. Henry on the grid at magny Cours a few years ago Bonzy so shush.

J.A.K wrote: oh god. car stuff.

any footy on sunday?

Grimsby

ChrissMari wrote:

J.A.K wrote: oh god. car stuff.

any footy on sunday?

Grimsby

SSSSSSHHHH

23 Speed Toro Rosso M 1:20.137 3.425

YOUR guy best driver in USA.....23rd against a bunch of test drivers and Friday fill-ins LOL.

Freep 2 Pos Driver Team T Time Gap 1 Wurz WilliamsF1 B 1:15.907 98.427 mph 2 Davidson Honda M 1:16.075 0.168 3 Montoya McLaren M 1:16.138 0.231 4 Alonso Renault M 1:16.221 0.314 5 Doornbos Red Bull M 1:16.292 0.385 6 Raikkonen McLaren M 1:16.707 0.800 7 Fisichella Renault M 1:16.721 0.814 8 Coulthard Red Bull M 1:16.870 0.963 9 Button Honda M 1:16.903 0.996 10 Massa Ferrari B 1:17.251 1.344 11 Trulli Toyota B 1:17.325 1.418 12 Monteiro Midland B 1:17.439 1.532 13 Barrichello Honda M 1:17.456 1.549 14 Mondini Midland B 1:17.497 1.590 15 M Schumacher Ferrari B 1:17.603 1.696 16 Liuzzi Toro Rosso M 1:17.638 1.731 17 Webber WilliamsF1 B 1:17.744 1.837 18 R Schumacher Toyota B 1:17.793 1.886 19 Rosberg WilliamsF1 B 1:17.845 1.938 20 Villeneuve BMW M 1:17.874 1.967 21 Klien Red Bull M 1:18.123 2.216 22 Heidfeld BMW M 1:18.257 2.350 23 Speed Toro Rosso M 1:18.420 2.513 24 Albers Midland B 1:18.430 2.523 25 Montagny Super Aguri B 1:18.731 2.824 26 Kubica BMW M 1:19.273 3.366 27 Jani Toro Rosso M 1:19.445 3.538 28 Sato Super Aguri B 1:19.803 3.896

My boy's 3rd now...and fastest of the actual race drivers. Oh look, the yank's still just ahead of the safey car LOL

Steve Campbell wrote: Freep 1

6 Kubica BMW M 1:17.869 1.157

.

thats my fella

2 secs faster than the finest the USA has to offer anyway.

They reckon he'll get a race before the year is out and probably a full seat next year. Lots of folks sniffing round him.....he can't be bad to push that bucket round in 6th :D

Good old Nigel Mansell - I'll never forget when he blew that tyre in Adelaide and blew the whole race. :(

Barnette wrote: Good old Nigel Mansell - I'll never forget when he blew that tyre in Adelaide and blew the whole race. :(

LOl..YOU wont forget?

It was feckin 4am here and I'd been up all night waiting to see the ferret faced fuckwitt finally get the championship he deserved....i hollered something utterly unprintable even on NOOL. Every time I see it I still wince. With the exception of a few of Montoya's (who IS the new mansell BTW) more impossible saves, it's still the finest piece of car control I've ever seen....seriously, going 2 wheeled at 200mph on a bumpy street and piloting it safely down the escape road is unbelievable.

PS: only on NOOL could you insult a US sportsman and have all the resident yanks leave it alone cos they know it's true....usually you;d find hordes of them willing to, as jack puts it, "chat shite" about nascar and stuff ;)

PPS: Melbourne gets the prize for best Aussie F1 moment....96. Brundle going into the gravel trap in a ball of twisted carbon and mangled engine total unrecognisable as a car, at $FUCKING_DAFT speed. getting extricated from the mess....sprinting back to the pits. When he got there the Dr, Sid ( a brain surgeon who honestly says F1 drivers have hollow heads) checked him over and OK'd him to get in the spare for the restart. He jumped up on the railing, and the entire grandstand went FUCKING PSYCHO in absolutely adulation, I nearly cried it was such a noise. Only time I heard more noise at a race in OZ was when Stoddy got both his OZJet Minardi's home in the points.

Steve Campbell wrote:

Barnette wrote: Good old Nigel Mansell - I'll never forget when he blew that tyre in Adelaide and blew the whole race. :(

LOl..YOU wont forget?

It was feckin 4am here and I'd been up all night waiting to see the ferret faced fuckwitt finally get the championship he deserved....i hollered something utterly unprintable even on NOOL. Every time I see it I still wince. With the exception of a few of Montoya's (who IS the new mansell BTW) more impossible saves, it's still the finest piece of car control I've ever seen....seriously, going 2 wheeled at 200mph on a bumpy street and piloting it safely down the escape road is unbelievable.

You mean it was worse than Cunt?

I know, it was bloody heartbreaking and you are right, a lesser driver would not have had control of that car like Nige.

I'm not much into car racing but even I know that NASCAR is crap.:)

Barnette wrote: You mean it was worse than Cunt?

think more in terms of length of outburst, cunt was like a comma in it, put it that way.

I know, it was bloody heartbreaking and you are right, a lesser driver would not have had control of that car like Nige.

Mansell was good at flog avoidance, but JPM is the master. This year, in Melbourne, Monty saved the same accident that put Baron Von Cobblers out, and his car's onboard computer said "fuck this for a game o darts" and switched everything off LOL.

Steve Campbell wrote: Freep 2 Pos Driver Team T Time Gap 1 Wurz WilliamsF1 B 1:15.907 98.427 mph 2 Davidson Honda M 1:16.075 0.168 3 Montoya McLaren M 1:16.138 0.231 4 Alonso Renault M 1:16.221 0.314 5 Doornbos Red Bull M 1:16.292 0.385 6 Raikkonen McLaren M 1:16.707 0.800 7 Fisichella Renault M 1:16.721 0.814 8 Coulthard Red Bull M 1:16.870 0.963 9 Button Honda M 1:16.903 0.996 10 Massa Ferrari B 1:17.251 1.344 11 Trulli Toyota B 1:17.325 1.418 12 Monteiro Midland B 1:17.439 1.532 13 Barrichello Honda M 1:17.456 1.549 14 Mondini Midland B 1:17.497 1.590 15 M Schumacher Ferrari B 1:17.603 1.696 16 Liuzzi Toro Rosso M 1:17.638 1.731 17 Webber WilliamsF1 B 1:17.744 1.837 18 R Schumacher Toyota B 1:17.793 1.886 19 Rosberg WilliamsF1 B 1:17.845 1.938 20 Villeneuve BMW M 1:17.874 1.967 21 Klien Red Bull M 1:18.123 2.216 22 Heidfeld BMW M 1:18.257 2.350 23 Speed Toro Rosso M 1:18.420 2.513 24 Albers Midland B 1:18.430 2.523 25 Montagny Super Aguri B 1:18.731 2.824 26 Kubica BMW M 1:19.273 3.366 27 Jani Toro Rosso M 1:19.445 3.538 28 Sato Super Aguri B 1:19.803 3.896

My boy's 3rd now...and fastest of the actual race drivers. Oh look, the yank's still just ahead of the safey car LOL

oh no. a big list again.

Another big list for you. Monaco: Saturday Free - Times 27/05/2006 Pos Driver Team T Time Gap 1 Alonso Renault M 1:13.823 101.206 mph 2 M Schumacher Ferrari B 1:14.031 0.208 3 Fisichella Renault M 1:14.056 0.233 4 Coulthard Red Bull M 1:14.550 0.727 5 Rosberg WilliamsF1 B 1:14.623 0.800 6 Montoya McLaren M 1:14.785 0.962 7 Webber WilliamsF1 B 1:14.804 0.981 8 Massa Ferrari B 1:14.842 1.019 9 Button Honda M 1:15.020 1.197 10 Raikkonen McLaren M 1:15.124 1.301 11 Barrichello Honda M 1:15.283 1.460 12 Klien Red Bull M 1:15.476 1.653 13 Heidfeld BMW M 1:15.591 1.768 14 Monteiro Midland B 1:15.809 1.986 15 Albers Midland B 1:16.066 2.243 16 Liuzzi Toro Rosso M 1:16.147 2.324 17 Speed Toro Rosso M 1:16.201 2.378 18 Villeneuve BMW M 1:16.285 2.462 19 Trulli Toyota B 1:16.456 2.633 20 Sato Super Aguri B 1:17.148 3.325 21 R Schumacher Toyota B 1:17.860 4.037 22 Montagny Super Aguri B 1:17.934 4.111

Still think JPM can win it tho...... I have to. ;)

That CUNT schumacher has NO SHAME.

He PARKED across the road once he had pole and 4 guys behind him were on quicker laps.

DISGUSTING

FUCKING JOY AND RAPTURE

All times deleted, back of the grid you cheating arogant track blocking fucking CUNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NA NA NA NA NA guess who's in the middle of the first lap multicar pile up tomorrow and all

ROFLMFAO

couldn't happen to a more deserving cunt.

And now in Engerlish from PitPass.com: Official: Schumacher loses pole, will start from back of grid 27/05/2006 Eight hours after the end of today's qualifying session for the Monaco Grand Prix, race stewards have decided that Michael Schumacher deliberately stopped his car on track in the closing moments of the session, thereby preventing rival drivers from beating his time. As punishment the German has lost all his times and will start the race from the back of the grid. More details to follow.

Steve Campbell wrote: And now in Engerlish from PitPass.com: Official: Schumacher loses pole, will start from back of grid 27/05/2006 Eight hours after the end of today's qualifying session for the Monaco Grand Prix, race stewards have decided that Michael Schumacher deliberately stopped his car on track in the closing moments of the session, thereby preventing rival drivers from beating his time. As punishment the German has lost all his times and will start the race from the back of the grid. More details to follow.

And you couldn't be happier

Oh you BETTER believe it babe, I yelled pretty loud when I was told.

Don;t get me wrong, I like a nice bit of cheating in F1, but having an "accident" where you touch nothing at all, and then stopping for no reason anyone can see, right on the exit of the last corner to bring yellow flags out.....that's scummy, brilliant, but scummy. Not least in that Monaco's Marshall's have their fear glands removed, and piled right onto the track to help the un-wounded car, while 6 or 7 cars were still out on fast laps and not tremendously likely to pay much attention to double waved yellows (and so they will continue to act until they kill a marshall). The best thing about cheating in F1 is seeing people caught.....lead in the fuel tank, "water cooled" brakes, lotus's droppy-droopy side pods, it's all good, and it's all better when they get busted. BUT Schu has gotten away with FAR too much cheating over the years (we used to say he only ever got busted for stuff he DIDN'T do), so yeah, I am fucking loving this.

It's great for everyone..... The oh-so-into-f1 schufosi twats will believe their God will win from the back in monaco, so they are happy (mentally ill, but happy), and everyone with a clue knows Mike's gonna have a bad day.

LOL Can't imagine what would make happier short of seeing the cunt in the harbour.....That would be an interesting accident in a modern car.....seat belts may not prove quite so clever as you sink to the bottom of monte carlo harbour.

Ooooohh, there's that nasty streak again - I love it

So, who's going to win then?

My heart says JPM.....but really it's gonna be Alonso of Fisi who does it.

Have a feeling your lad will do well....the low engine stress should keep all the bits of his cosworth inside the case for once. I actually find the first coupla laps really hard to watch at monaco....it's only luck that the last couple of 10 car pileups there have been on the slower corners.....just wait til cars start touching wheels as they go round the massanet ( left hander at top of hill before the famous casino, bumpy, blind, and lined with people.....or down into the harbour chicane now that there is a grandstand for them to fly into. F1 is heading for another bloodsoaked weekend like Imola 94 (ratzenberger and senna dead, barrichello and a dozen others in hospital, including spectators and policemen)...but of course footy is the game for men (as long as their hair looks nice of course)

Speaking of whic....How much would you pay to see te FA-allstars vs the Aussie Rules allstars....LOL...there's a game that needs "adaggio for strings" as a soundtrack.

Steve Campbell wrote:

...Can't imagine what would make happier short of seeing the cunt in the harbour...

NOTHING would make you happier?

You're taking this far to seriously.

No I said I cannot IMAGINE anything making me hapier. It could just mean I have a poor imagination.

(or one that is completely caught up in visualising a variety of spectacular exits for red cars)

Steve Campbell wrote:

Speaking of whic....How much would you pay to see te FA-allstars vs the Aussie Rules allstars....LOL...there's a game that needs "adaggio for strings" as a soundtrack.

Mmmmmmm, interesting concept. Of course the big Aussie rules boys would obliterate them :D

How's this for taking it seriously...Silverstone are installing extra diamond screens so people can come to qually on saturday and ignore the amazing brittish built cars whizzing by them in favour of watching Engerland get beaten by..well whoever they're playing as long as they are better than N Ireland.

Barnette wrote:

Steve Campbell wrote:

Speaking of whic....How much would you pay to see te FA-allstars vs the Aussie Rules allstars....LOL...there's a game that needs "adaggio for strings" as a soundtrack.

Mmmmmmm, interesting concept. Of course the big Aussie rules boys would obliterate them :D

you can just hear the English footballers tho "oooh girls ahm not goin out there today, you can' get a decent pedicure anywhere in this country and have you SEEN my hair"

Steve Campbell wrote: No I said I cannot IMAGINE anything making me hapier. It could just mean I have a poor imagination.

(or one that is completely caught up in visualising a variety of spectacular exits for red cars)

I bet that's not true.

I bet you imagined something FAR more exciting before you got out of bed this morning.

I know I did. My arm still hurts a bit

i just saw what the schu did. that really sucks.

even if he had stalled, he could have parked the car a bit more out of the way.

NOOLigan wrote: i just saw what the schu did. that really sucks.

even if he had stalled, he could have parked the car a bit more out of the way.

yeah but you can see exactly what happens, he bumps the gully under the wall of the rascasse cafe, not the wall, it just hops the wheel a bit and costs him...oooooooh, what, 0.05s? corrects it...THEN just let's go. The complete giveaway was the way he steered if so that he didn't bend anything as he ran it up against the other wall. Not the first time he has done this either. Austria 2001, he spun at turn one, and then got the car recovered, drove it accross the racing line and jumped on both pedals to stall it, block the track and force a red flag and restart so he cuold get another go.

Col...yer probably right, but I've got my racing head on, no time for such frivolity now :D

Get off yer high (prancing) horse!

You love him really!

[black]Diamond[/black] wrote: Get off yer high (prancing) horse!

You love him really!

You tell him!

That's it - I'm hijacking this thread with pictures of ladies.

This is no place for a picture from your webcam of some bint shitting on your bed.

Course I love Schu when he is being schu.....like he was in the last couple of races, a proper mad bastard, elastic band round the cock, racer. But he DOES get away with too much cheating sorry, but he does, just the way McRon did in 98 and 99.

And FWIW, I still lay Jerez97 at piglet villeneuve's door. (well that's me baned from NOOL when spotty reads that).

Honestly right now I'm thinking.,..."right let's get the glamour and the precision over with and get some fuckin silverstone happening". Man Copse corner is meant to be FLAT this year, I'm waching from behind the sofa.

PS...I am on no manner of equine mount at all, irrespective of it's predisposition to dancing, or indeed it's height above sea level......I LOVE a good bit of cheating....I just think this one is lame as hell, cos....well....cos I've done the same thing in GAMES! that's how lame it is, a pot head pixie with a playstation/PC worked it out...and the (ahem) "greatest driver ever" ( forgetting of coure that fangio and moss et al, actaully controlled their own car and weren't just ballast for the computer to lug round).....decided to actually USE it, at the most important race of the year.

It's poor....provocatively poor.

that girl kinda looks familiar.

Mmm...

I'm normally an apologist for all things Schumacher but I've just seen the post-qual interview...

He pretended not to be sure of the name of the corner he broke down on. EVERYONE knows the name of that corner. He's LYING. Badly.

Not that it makes him a bad person - he tried to cheat and he got caught and now he has to spend three hours driving around in circles thinking about it.

Steve Campbell wrote:

Barnette wrote:

Steve Campbell wrote:

Speaking of whic....How much would you pay to see te FA-allstars vs the Aussie Rules allstars....LOL...there's a game that needs "adaggio for strings" as a soundtrack.

Mmmmmmm, interesting concept. Of course the big Aussie rules boys would obliterate them :D

you can just hear the English footballers tho "oooh girls ahm not goin out there today, you can' get a decent pedicure anywhere in this country and have you SEEN my hair"

This ain't no nancy boy.

[black]Diamond[/black] wrote: Mmm...

I'm normally an apologist for all things Schumacher but I've just seen the post-qual interview...

He pretended not to be sure of the name of the corner he broke down on. EVERYONE knows the name of that corner. He's LYING. Badly.

Not that it makes him a bad person - he tried to cheat and he got caught and now he has to spend three hours driving around in circles thinking about it.

Yup. FFS...most people know the table number of the one in the corner there never mind the name of the corner/cafe. I saw a simmillar thing in BTCC once....plato rammed thompson at the hairpin at Oulton, then coming up over the top of the hill thompson just offed him, hollywood stylee, into the armco at like 110mph......then pleaded completely amnesia about it....pathetic...if he'd just said "big nose rammed me so I tried to kill the cunt" I'd have respected him.

Barnette wrote: This ain't no nancy boy.

regardless of whatever filth is coursing through that sewer of a female brain of yours....yup...that guy looks like he'd pick Beckham up, snap him in half and drink his bone marrow :D

I say bring back "superstars" a daft tv show where guys from different sports compete to see who is fittest/best. F1 drivers used to beat everyone else while drunk LOL ( no really)

Barnette wrote:

This ain't no nancy boy.

Wasn't he in the Village People?

[black]Diamond[/black] wrote:

Barnette wrote:

This ain't no nancy boy.

Wasn't he in the Village People?

Fiver says you wouldn't say that to his face :D

A tenner says I would

Bender.

[black]Diamond[/black] wrote: A tenner says I would

Bender.

Well I didn't realise it would be a chat up line, sorry ;)

Just seen the interview again.

"I think it's called Rascasse"

Does he win £40?

[black]Diamond[/black] wrote: Just seen the interview again.

"I think it's called Rascasse"

Does he win £40?

yup ...in prize money when he finishes 22nd ;)

(ok, i think we all know there wont be 22 finishers but u get my drift)

Steve Campbell wrote:

Barnette wrote: This ain't no nancy boy.

regardless of whatever filth is coursing through that sewer of a female brain of yours....yup...that guy looks like he'd pick Beckham up, snap him in half and drink his bone marrow :D

You have such a way with words!!

I believe it's called the "gift of the gab"

(gift of the gabshoite more likely)

Get out of the way, Button!

Hee hee!

Not half bad that one, tho I can't imagine you enjoyed it much through your hangover.

ROLL ON SILVERSTONE....in the absence of Spa, probably the best track this year.

Do they really need drivers, i thought the they could be raced from the Pit's like Scalectrix.

It would be more intersting, we would have more crashes :D

who won??

State of Love and Trust wrote: who won??

Alonso

State of Love and Trust wrote: who won??

Who cares?

SHEDi xxx

a tv audeience as large as that for the W/C final. ME Ferdie Schumacher (muuuhahahah) and the THOUSANDS of scantily clad hotties who fill the place each year.

scantily clad hotties

See I worry a lot about the "oooh f1 is just cars driving in circles" brigade...they've never seen grid girls, drivers girlfriends (yeah f1 drivers are real losers, that's why they have supermodels hanging off them....well mostly, Connie Montoya's just a really nice girl, and Georgie Hill's a sow, but still), and anywhere warm the wall to wall half naked mat that parades the place. (see I'm trying to act more like a hairy neanderthal to see if women flock to me LOL).

instead most of these people prefer to watch 22 men run round a field in front of 50,000 other men( and Bonzette.....hmmmm being a girl who's into footie has it's advantages I suppose), in what amounts to the boxers and vests.

very strange.

Sexiest grid girls have to be Australia and Indianapolis, tho I doubt all the girls at Indy are legal, and Silverstone for some fine Engerlish Roses.

I'll keep reiterating this.....

Engerland football= pathetic, a world joke=worshipped by all. Engerland motorsport=world leader bar none=ignored totally in UK....well at least among NO fans LOL