The Greenhouse
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guy is nearing the end of his senior year in high school. Unfortunately, he still has to share a room with his younger brother who is only 9 years old.
One night, he decides to bring his girlfriend home for a little fun. They have bunk beds and the guy notices that his little brother is already asleep on the lower bunk, so he and his girlfriend climb up to the top bunk. As you might expect things start to heat up.
The guy remembers that his little brother is sleeping below so he tells his girlfriend to whisper "lettuce" if she wants it harder and "tomato" if she wants a new position.
Lettuce!!!
Tomato!!
Lettuce!!!
Tomato!!!
Lettuce!!!
Tomato!!!
She screams
Lettuce!!!
Tomato!!!
Whoa!!!
PULL IT OUT!!!
PULL IT OUT NOW!!!
I can't get pregnant!
Then the little brother shouts up, "Hey, would you guys stop making sandwiches up there! You're getting mayonnaise all over my face!*!*!*!*!
Salad humour for the greenhouse.....
What do you get when you cross an onion with a donkey?
99 times out of 100 you get an onion with long ears. But, 1 time out of 100, you'll get a piece of ass that makes your eyes water!
A very old one now.....
What do you put in a honeymoon salad?
Lettuce alone.
I know awful joke
A woman's vegetable garden is growing like mad, but the darn tomatoes won't ripen. There's a limit to the number of uses for green tomatoes and she's getting pretty tired of it.
So she walks over to her neighbor's and asks, "Your tomatoes are always red, while mine are always green. How do you do it?"
He replies, "Well, this may sound absurd, but here's what you do. After dark, go out into your garden and take off all your clothes. When the tomatoes see you they'll get embarrassed and blush. Tomorrow they'll all be red, you'll see."
Well, what the heck, she figures. So she does it.
The next day her neighbor asks her how it went.
"So-so," she said, "The tomatoes are still green, but you should see the size of my cucumbers now ."
Minx wrote: A woman's vegetable garden is growing like mad, but the darn tomatoes won't ripen. There's a limit to the number of uses for green tomatoes and she's getting pretty tired of it.
So she walks over to her neighbor's and asks, "Your tomatoes are always red, while mine are always green. How do you do it?"
Her neighbor says, "Well, this may sound absurd, but here's what you do. After dark, go out into your garden and take off all your clothes. When the tomatoes see you they'll get embarrassed and blush. Tomorrow they'll all be red, you'll see."
Well, what the heck, she figures. So she does it.
The next day her neighbor asks her how it went.
"So-so," she said, "The tomatoes are still green, but the cucumbers are all 4 inches longer."
Last one for now
A married woman was becoming frustrated with her husband's insistence that they always have sex in the dark. Hoping to free him of his inhibitions, during one passionate evening, she flipped on the lamp-- only to discover a cucumber in his hand.
"Is THIS what you've been using on me for the past five years!?!"
"Honey, let me explain!"
"Why you impotent louse!" she screamed. "You sneaky son of a prick!"
"Speaking of sneaky..." he interrupted, "would you care to explain our three kids?"
Minx wrote: Last one for now
A married woman was becoming frustrated with her husband's insistence that they always have sex in the dark. Hoping to free him of his inhibitions, during one passionate evening, she flipped on the lamp-- only to discover a cucumber in his hand.
"Is THIS what you've been using on me for the past five years!?!"
"Honey, let me explain!"
"Why you impotent louse!" she screamed. "You sneaky son of a prick!"
"Speaking of sneaky..." he interrupted, "would you care to explain our three kids?"
A dystopian family.
Minx wrote: A woman's vegetable garden is growing like mad, but the darn tomatoes won't ripen. There's a limit to the number of uses for green tomatoes and she's getting pretty tired of it.
So she walks over to her neighbor's and asks, "Your tomatoes are always red, while mine are always green. How do you do it?"
He replies, "Well, this may sound absurd, but here's what you do. After dark, go out into your garden and take off all your clothes. When the tomatoes see you they'll get embarrassed and blush. Tomorrow they'll all be red, you'll see."
Well, what the heck, she figures. So she does it.
The next day her neighbor asks her how it went.
"So-so," she said, "The tomatoes are still green, but you should see the size of my cucumbers now ."
I liked it better before you edited it.
hey mr.shellshocker. Always wanted to point out our connection. I'm originally from your sister city, buffalo. Not very often see them represented here and its nice to know that somebody loves NO there.
jonathan wrote: hey mr.shellshocker. Always wanted to point out our connection. I'm originally from your sister city, buffalo. Not very often see them represented here and its nice to know that somebody loves NO there.
Awesome! 
I went to college in Buffalo and lived there for several years (working in a restaurant! :( ) after I graduated. Buffalo is where I discovered New Order, so I owe the Queen City a great debt of gratitude. Unfortunately, most of my best Buffalo friends have moved elsewhere, so I don't have much of an excuse to visit these days. I was always curious how many Buffalo/Rochester NOOLers are out there. Not many from what I can tell. I also wonder if any of my former Buffalo mates are on this site! No good way to search for a specific person or city on this site, though.
oldmonkey wrote: Is it true about those Buffalo gals?
hmm...i really don't know what your referring too... that their overweight
Shellshocker wrote:
jonathan wrote: hey mr.shellshocker. Always wanted to point out our connection. I'm originally from your sister city, buffalo. Not very often see them represented here and its nice to know that somebody loves NO there.
Awesome!
well its true that buffalo's population has been reduced in half over the past 30 yrs. I visit still as much of my family still lives there. Its depressing as nothing has change since the 10 yrs.,since i've last live there. Unfortunately, its a dying city and nothing seems to get better.
hopefully debt won't for me to relocated there. Don't get me wrong, i love it, but it reminds me too much of past failures.
can anyone clear things up for me with regards to future shed games, as the shed is no more and you can clearly see in through the glass of a greenhouse, making it a bit of a dull game as you will be able to see the object in the greenhouse...
unsure if this subject has already come up on this thread Ive been away.... typical go away for a while and they change evrything...
Digital Mike wrote:
Next SHED game 9:30am Saturday
i could never figure out these different time zones! what time is that in the states?
[orange]Ultramega[/orange] OK wrote: woohoo SHED game!
Are we gonna start doing GREENHOUSE GAMES as well?!?
Anyone got a greenhouse?
If a man is alone in the greenhouse and speaks, and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?
Minx wrote: http://www.freethegnomes.com
Pah can't work out how to put piccys from this site in
They have free the gnome pants and everything
jonathan wrote:
Shellshocker wrote:
jonathan wrote: hey mr.shellshocker. Always wanted to point out our connection. I'm originally from your sister city, buffalo. Not very often see them represented here and its nice to know that somebody loves NO there.
Awesome!
well its true that buffalo's population has been reduced in half over the past 30 yrs. I visit still as much of my family still lives there. Its depressing as nothing has change since the 10 yrs.,since i've last live there. Unfortunately, its a dying city and nothing seems to get better.
hopefully debt won't for me to relocated there. Don't get me wrong, i love it, but it reminds me too much of past failures.
Yes, it is a dying city. And yes, the chicks there are fat. 
Mostly good memories for me even though I probably had more failures there than successes. I guess I'm just a nostalgic type of person. I always long for the "good old days", even when they weren't so good.
