The ultimate £40 thread — Forum Archive

9 Nov 2006, 10:24

What do you think entitles you to win £40?

Diamond White has final say.

:nod:

9 Nov 2006, 10:29

Minx and her condom tricks has got to be ... erm ... "up" there. :bow:

9 Nov 2006, 10:29

not SURFING to the JOBCENTRE :hat:

9 Nov 2006, 10:31

Teaching your parrot to chant "NU ORDAAAH, NU ORDAAAH", whistle Ceremony intro (very well) and do 'whoops' and 'come ons.'

I could buy him a skateboard if I won...

9 Nov 2006, 10:34

I visited my 101 year old granny last night and gave her the packet of Kendal Mint Cake that Jarvo brought me up from the Lakes en route from Blackpool. She was thrilled. It more than made up for the fact that I missed her actual birthday the other week because I sat up til 7AM the night before with the afforementioned Mr Jarvis and Welsh Darren putting the world to rights (aherm....)

Last night's visit shows both a good heart and the creative use of an unwanted gift.

Do I win £40?

9 Nov 2006, 10:34

Missy Jem wrote: Teaching your parrot to chant "NU ORDAAAH, NU ORDAAAH", whistle Ceremony intro (very well) and do 'whoops' and 'come ons.'

I could buy him a skateboard if I won...

"WHOSE A PRETTY Jemmy?" :laugh:

9 Nov 2006, 10:36

He also spits when I say Who's Rocket? :evil4:

9 Nov 2006, 10:37

Does the parrot need an autocue?

9 Nov 2006, 10:37

Only when he's playing snooker :drummer:

9 Nov 2006, 10:39

Allegedly, I don't act like an American....

surely thats worth the 40 quid???

:crazy:

9 Nov 2006, 10:57

Missy Jem wrote: Teaching your parrot to chant "NU ORDAAAH, NU ORDAAAH", whistle Ceremony intro (very well) and do 'whoops' and 'come ons.'

I could buy him a skateboard if I won...

oooh...I LOVE this one...Jem and Alfie get my vote...not that it matters!!!

9 Nov 2006, 12:55

as i understand it only Diamond is eligible to win 40 pounds. :D

9 Nov 2006, 13:02

NOOLigan wrote: as i understand it only Diamond is eligible to win 40 pounds. :D

Well almost,him and Jem get £20 each. The parrot gets fuck all... :laugh:

9 Nov 2006, 13:09

Jeffari-al-Texani wrote: Allegedly, I don't act like an American....

surely thats worth the 40 quid???

Nice try - you win $40

:laugh:

9 Nov 2006, 13:09

Ally wrote: What do you think entitles you to win £40? Diamond White has final say.

From past threads or is it what to do for 80.00. Past threads might be HANK WISE- ASS' help this man get his Three- some. or BiginDiamonds' Classic- What not to let a Drunk have. Real possible Hall of THREAD- FAME winners.

Past or current avatars eligible. Been some good 'uns.

9 Nov 2006, 13:10

steveone wrote:

NOOLigan wrote: as i understand it only Diamond is eligible to win 40 pounds. :D

Well almost,him and Jem get £20 each. The parrot gets fuck all...

do I win 40 pounds?

9 Nov 2006, 13:38

I was on the way home from a nightclub a few years ago with me mate Malky - I fell asleep in a hedge. After giving me five minutes kip he battered me round the head and told me to move. I made it 100 yards to a phone box before falling asleep in it. Malky fucked off and left me.

I wasn't mugged, but I could have been.

Surely for the fact that I had the right to be mugged means I win 40 notes?

9 Nov 2006, 13:46

My entry is great...

I got really pissed last night and someone talked me in to going into the casino. I set myself a limit of £20 and sat down to play Blackjack.

Imagine my surprise when I went on to win nearly £300, then even more surprise when I had the good sense to cash up and fuck off home.

Do I win £40?

PS I've had a hangover today, sorry if I've been a cunt.

9 Nov 2006, 13:47

Diamond White wrote:

PS I've had a hangover today, sorry if I've been a cunt.

Yer always a cunt.

9 Nov 2006, 13:48

I'm not usually sorry about it though.

(In fact, I'm not sorry now. It just struck me as a funny thing to say.)

9 Nov 2006, 13:50

Do I get the £40 then?

9 Nov 2006, 13:51

The cheques in the post, Shug :nod:

Is it fuck

9 Nov 2006, 13:54

Diamond White wrote: My entry is great...

I got really pissed last night and someone talked me in to going into the casino. I set myself a limit of £20 and sat down to play Blackjack.

Imagine my surprise when I went on to win nearly £300, then even more surprise when I had the good sense to cash up and fuck off home.

Do I win £40?

PS I've had a hangover today, sorry if I've been a cunt.

A limit of £20?!!! Guessin you were on the £1 tables then? BIGINOIL my arse! :laugh:

9 Nov 2006, 13:58

It was the £10 table and I honestly went over with the intention of only playing twice.

Bet with Gala - you never lose

10 Nov 2006, 03:19

Speaking of which, if Muslims aren't allowed to gamble, why are they always going to Mecca :scratch:

10 Nov 2006, 03:29

.

10 Nov 2006, 10:16

Because I'd give you £50 for it :lol:

11 Nov 2006, 00:33

Because I need to pay Poirot for a few tips in detective work..Embarrassingly,it took me 60 odd of Cheesy Burek's posts to realise who was acting this particular goat!Genius:

Does everyone already know who Cheesy Burek is? Making me a right Dela Mitri :scratch:

11 Nov 2006, 13:26

Home remedy I learned while in the Corps:

When we are in the field or in combat situations, we generally don't get the hygiene opportunities we'd like. Since we are wearing boots all the time, athelete's foot can run rampant, and since there isn't the local grocery store down the street, I learned of a great remedy that works better than perscription medicine:

When you get in the shower, before getting your feet wet, pee on them. Let it soak for about 10-15 seconds, then take a normal shower.

Works better than medicine (which claims toheal your feet in 7 days), where this will heal them same day (and in 3 days for REALLY bad cases).

So....Do I win £40 ???

11 Nov 2006, 20:01

I found a Pontiac Smilie....

:car:

does that earn me £40?

12 Nov 2006, 04:45

erm...that pontiac smilie was never lost....

so why would that earn you the booty???

12 Nov 2006, 04:56

oh...and I've got the shits...runs even...

does that win ME the 40 notes???