NOOL CONFESSIONALS

Over the past few days and weeks we have learned that:

Minx likes SEX!!!!!!! With men!!!!!! No, really????!!! She's a HOT BABE!!!!!

Chrissie Marie has lost 150 pounds (in weight, natch) and regularly has random strangers asking if they can SPUNK ON HER TITS!!!!

BOATFACERACE once had a lass wank him off so vigorously that his cock ACTUALLY BLED!!!!!

Stevie Campbell once made a girl EJACULATE. A GIRL!!!!!!!??????

THIS BLUE EYED BOY.... wants to fuck ex-members of an Essex synth-pop band!!!!

ARE THERE ANY OTHER NOOL-ERS WHO WOULD LIKE TO SHARE INTIMATE DETAILS ABOUT THEIR PRIVATE LIVES IN THE PUBLIC DOMAIN????

I know some things about other people's private lives. If I just splattered details all over here, would I win £40?

Colin, you'd win £40 if you SPLATTERED ALL OVER MY FACE!!!!!

(You can pretend I'm Minx or Chrissie if you like).

Pay attention Cloth ears..My split pip was the combination of an ill fitting bell-hood that,quite frankly needed a small rip in it....and a vigourous downstroke,of my own doing whilst knacker deep in an unfortunate lass...No wanking involved.

In short I was 15 and had what amounted to a DIY circ..

Not to mention you practically coerced that sordid episode out of me Frads....Hardly intimate though,character building more like

Doctor Clayhead wrote: Colin, you'd win £40 if you SPLATTERED ALL OVER MY FACE!!!!!

(You can pretend I'm Minx or Chrissie if you like).

Grow a tash and no one will know the difference

Boatraceface wrote: Pay attention Cloth ears..My split pip was the combination of an ill fitting bell-hood that,quite frankly needed a small rip in it....and a vigourous downstroke,of my own doing whilst knacker deep in an unfortunate lass...No wanking involved.

In short I was 15 and had what amounted to a DIY circ..

Not to mention you practically coerced that sordid episode out of me Frads....Hardly intimate though,character building more like

Sorry about the misrepresentation, pal!! That thread got deleted in the great anti-vulgarity cull of late 2006 so I couldn't go back and check it!!

Some people are listing their "favourite drummers". That's my idea of 'vulgarity'....

Boatraceface wrote:

Doctor Clayhead wrote: Colin, you'd win £40 if you SPLATTERED ALL OVER MY FACE!!!!!

(You can pretend I'm Minx or Chrissie if you like).

Grow a tash and no one will know the difference

It's true: I'm also a HAWT EXHIBITIONIST and strangers want to SPUNK on my BAPS!!!

Doctor Clayhead wrote:

Boatraceface wrote:

Doctor Clayhead wrote: Colin, you'd win £40 if you SPLATTERED ALL OVER MY FACE!!!!!

(You can pretend I'm Minx or Chrissie if you like).

Grow a tash and no one will know the difference

It's true: I'm also a HAWT EXHIBITIONIST and strangers want to SPUNK on my BAPS!!!

Well I got round my problem with a self-circified sick note...You need a Doctor's one,Doctor!

....

I'm Batman.......'s younger cousin :p

Taboo # 7 wrote: I'm Batman.......'s younger cousin :p

That's all very well, but did he make you fist him vigorously when you were 6 years old?

Boatraceface wrote: ...My cock is too big for my bell hood...

Is that what you've been trying to tell us?

There's a poor lad. ;)

Doctor Clayhead wrote: Over the past few days and weeks we have learned that:

THIS BLUE EYED BOY.... wants to fuck ex-members of an Essex synth-pop band!!!!

Just Alan Wilder. Not Vince Clark.

Oooh, just thought of another:

BUFFY falls out with LIAM cos LIAM insists on shagging BUFFY but BUFFY says "hell, no!!".

LIAM gets angry with BUFFY cos "she talks too much". In a effort to disprove this vile slur on her good person, BUFFY comes on here and tells EVERYONE about it.

Hallelujah!!

This blue-eyed boy that wants to be wrote:

Doctor Clayhead wrote: Over the past few days and weeks we have learned that:

THIS BLUE EYED BOY.... wants to fuck ex-members of an Essex synth-pop band!!!!

Just Alan Wilder. Not Vince Clark.

Y'know, mate, you'd probably have more luck with Vince....

*ANIMADVERSION* has no idea who any of you are....

*Animadversion* wrote: *ANIMADVERSION* has no idea who any of you are....

Can't you people get into the fucking spirit of things? You have to CONFESS something at least vaguely sordid, not make wanky pseudo-enigmatic statements that are as much use as a cock in your eye.

FOR FUCK'S FUCKING SAKE.

Biginoil wants to make eskimo friends with as many people as I can.

I already have a few eskimo friends and plan to organise a big night out for us all when there are enough of us to fill a medium-sized Whetherspoons.

If you think you maye be my eskimo friend, or would like some tips on how you may become one, please get in touch.

eskimo@fac383.com

BIGINOIL wrote: Biginoil wants to make eskimo friends with as many people as I can.

I already have a few eskimo friends and plan to organise a big night out for us all when there are enough of us to fill a medium-sized Whetherspoons.

If you think you maye be my eskimo friend, or would like some tips on how you may become one, please get in touch.

eskimo@fac383.com

Sorry i am snowed under at the moment..........

Mush.

I like men who can beat their skins within an inch of their life.

Oh is this not the TOP 5 DRUMMER thread?

I thought that stuff about moi was common nool knowledge already :p

I shall have to put some thought into my next revelation..... Hmmmm thinking before posting now that's a novel idea for me

confessional-box.

BIGINOIL wrote: Biginoil wants to make eskimo friends with as many people as I can.

I already have a few eskimo friends and plan to organise a big night out for us all when there are enough of us to fill a medium-sized Whetherspoons.

If you think you maye be my eskimo friend, or would like some tips on how you may become one, please get in touch.

eskimo@fac383.com

The way I hear it Col, we're all eskimo friends already.

The prime culprit is, of course, that damn Rocket Mick.

HELLO DR-nudge nudge.

Doctor Clayhead wrote:

This blue-eyed boy that wants to be wrote:

Doctor Clayhead wrote: Over the past few days and weeks we have learned that:

THIS BLUE EYED BOY.... wants to fuck ex-members of an Essex synth-pop band!!!!

Just Alan Wilder. Not Vince Clark.

Y'know, mate, you'd probably have more luck with Vince....

Probably, except he'd probably put on some disco record to get in the mood.

This blue-eyed boy that wants to be wrote: Probably, except he'd probably put on some disco record to get in the mood.

Which one?

This blue-eyed boy that wants to be wrote: Just Alan Wilder. Not Vince Clark.

And your Simon Gallup crush? Is that over?

Comrade Shampanyov wrote:

Boatraceface wrote: ...My cock is too big for my bell hood...

Is that what you've been trying to tell us?

There's a poor lad. ;)

I'll thank you not to pry,sir...As any gentleman knows..Discrestion is the better part of valor. I am a gentleman.You sir,are a cad and a bounder!

Comrade Shampanyov wrote:

This blue-eyed boy that wants to be wrote: Just Alan Wilder. Not Vince Clark.

And your Simon Gallup crush? Is that over?

Comrade, when he hears the John the Revolator lyrics:

Seven lies, mulitplied by seven, multiplied by seven again Seven angels with seven trumpets Send them home on the morning train

he's thinking of the entire band.

Comrade Shampanyov wrote:

This blue-eyed boy that wants to be wrote: Just Alan Wilder. Not Vince Clark.

And your Simon Gallup crush? Is that over?

No, it's not. It's just lying low until the Cure do some live shows over here.

Comrade Shampanyov wrote:

This blue-eyed boy that wants to be wrote: Probably, except he'd probably put on some disco record to get in the mood.

Which one?

We Take Mystery to Bed by Gary Numan

finest disco bullshit i've heard in weeks. look for it on the soundtack to my italian (TM) horror film next year.

Well I have nothing to confess