Best Titles For Books That Were Never Written

"Autocue and Me" by Bernard Sumner

any other ideas? Have fun with it....

Bongo My life as a twat. :D

PARIS HILTON Woe Is Me

or

PARIS HILTON Bangkok Hilton

(see what I did there!)

Me & My Best Friend - Bernard Sumner & Peter Hook

Snorri xxx

My Family and other animals - Baldrick

My neverending battle with fast food and binge drinking and my pointless gig going antics - by Mystery Author .

'My small train station' by Shug Sludden

Advanced vocal technique: them whorebags from milli vanilli.

Creativity and originality are key: any charting hip hop "artist".

My soo E side noat: Paris Hilton

The best places to stalk and kill me: victoria Beckunt

How to clean, gut and prepare moron celebs: Gordon Ramsay

Short books.....

My mates: Mick Hucknall.

American military successes (against armed enemies) since 1945

Italian victories since 50BC

How to tell a tourist from a terrorist: PC Plod of the Met

My unique inventions: William S Gates. (that actually started at 1200 pages but by the time the publishers removed all the fantasy, for legal reason, it became a page saying "Mr clippy" and fuck all else. Later it was found that clippy really WAS his wife's idea and that she just denied it out of shame when the researcher rang.

the kip has worked wonders Cambo.

get paid!!

I stole one of them

;)

two more:

Sporting ethics: Michael Schumacher and Mike Tyson

Getting the wage you're worth: David Beckham

"Quantum Phsyics Explained" by George W. Bush.

Matt

Once Upon a Time...The End - The difinitive book of German humour

The More Baron Than Ever Post-Viduka Years by B. Raceface.

Low Blows And Nine toes-By Noj Kershaw and Phil Tommo(ghost writer)

Boatraceface wrote: Low Blows And Nine toes-By Noj Kershaw and Phil Tommo(ghost writer)

its Pinnochi-toe to you.

King John Honest John wrote:

Boatraceface wrote: Low Blows And Nine toes-By Noj Kershaw and Phil Tommo(ghost writer)

its Pinnochi-toe to you.

That was part deux,Noj

Long On Nose Short On Toes-Phillip Thompson(Pinnochi-9 toes)

I'm laughing my head off suckers - by K. Bates.

We've won eff all for years and years - Mags Pie

Matt wrote: "Quantum Phsyics Explained" by George W. Bush.

Matt

I love the additional bonus of misspelling in that title.

"A History of Indie Music" & "Race Relations For Beginners" by Emily (former Big Brother Contestant).

"Successful Lies" by Jeffrey Archer & Richard Nixon.

"United Front: How To Deal With The Media" by New Order.

"The Big Book Of Wanking Techniques" by Michael Hutchins.

"The History Of The Clash: Give 'Em Enough Rope" by Ian Curtis.

How to Care For Your Toddler - the parents of Madeleine Mccann

Sorry but they make me

Shed Peel wrote:

Matt wrote: "Quantum Phsyics Explained" by George W. Bush.

Matt

I love the additional bonus of misspelling in that title.

I'll just pretend it was intentional. :\ohwell:

'My Life And The Birds That Lived It' by George Best.

'Advanced Drivers Handbook' by Henry Paul

'Blow by Blow, by Bill Clinton

"the Search for Black Holes" by Professor Justin Timberlake

"Jesus Loves Me, Why Can't You?" by Bono

(love his music tho he can be insufferable)

Sam the Stokie wrote: How to Care For Your Toddler - the parents of Madeleine Mccann

Sorry but they make me

How to Gain Money - Rick James

Hetrosexuality and You - Village People

Ready For Marriage?......S.Morrissey

How to Start a Punk Band, Go Goth, Lose a Lead Singer, and Still Be Successful as a DJ - Hooky.

eh, i'll get me coat!

"Whachu You Talkin' 'Bout Willis?!....The Secrets to Midget Fighting"
by Gary Coleman

How I Became the Leader of the Free Democratic Earth Planet (While Not Even Trying!)- George W. Bush

DJing for Dummies: How to DJ the Correct Way. - Hooky.

I AM NOT A COLD-HEARTED TWO-FACE BALL BUSTING CUNT WHO WANTS TO RULE THE FREE WORLD: AN AUTO-BIOGRAPHY... Hillary Clinton...

-wait, i just saw it on amazon.com...

'A nation Mourns' by Margaret (Bitch Face) Thatcher.

BonoShed wrote: "Jesus Loves Me, Why Can't You?" by Bono

(love his music tho he can be insufferable)

How about "Jesus, an Autobiography" by Bono? Oops, sorry, that freak from Creed (Scott Stapp or whatever his name is) already wrote that one.

Matt

Matt wrote: How about "Jesus, an Autobiography" by Bono? Oops, sorry, that freak from Creed (Scott Stapp or whatever his name is) already wrote that one.

*ahem*

OUCH!!!

"Poor Poor Pitiful Me" Paris Hilton

how to dismantle a robot that is trying to kill your dog

the encyclopaedia of what NOT to say to a cop for stupid people

asscrack shaving for dummies

horses do not like rats, sir

lazy cops 911

aahhhhhh, get it off me!!

Best titles for pornos that were never filmed:

Lawrence of the Labia Mr. Blandings Fucks His Dream Girl

(okay, maybe I'd just like to see porn versions of classic movies)

His Holiness, The Pope wrote: Best titles for pornos that were never filmed:

Lawrence of the Labia Mr. Blandings Fucks His Dream Girl

(okay, maybe I'd just like to see porn versions of classic movies)

Hilary LOVES your IDEA!!!!:D

Dude is that from a horror movie??

EdelBrock wrote:

His Holiness, The Pope wrote: Best titles for pornos that were never filmed:

Lawrence of the Labia Mr. Blandings Fucks His Dream Girl

(okay, maybe I'd just like to see porn versions of classic movies)

Hilary LOVES your IDEA!!!!:D

Separated at birth?

How to Seduce Your Stepdaughter - W. Allen

Yeah, My Music Sucks - Kenny G.

Dicks I've Known - P. Hilton

Dicks I've Known - G. Michael

"The Guide to Infant and Child Care" or "Thank Heaven for Little Boys"-Michael Jackson

How to solve World Peace - W. Shrub

Come now Popey, you're not familar with Chelsea???

BonoShed wrote: Dude is that from a horror movie??

Nope, actually truth is Hillary is William's old blow up doll...here she is deflated...

EdelBrock wrote: Come now Popey, you're not familar with Chelsea???

Chelsea is actually Bat Boy?

His Holiness, The Pope wrote: Best titles for pornos that were never filmed:

Lawrence of the Labia

The security guard in my work SWEARS he's seen it!!!!!!

Doctor? wrote:

His Holiness, The Pope wrote: Best titles for pornos that were never filmed:

Lawrence of the Labia

The security guard in my work SWEARS he's seen it!!!!!!

he's probably seen other things too...

His Holiness, The Pope wrote:

EdelBrock wrote:

His Holiness, The Pope wrote: Best titles for pornos that were never filmed:

Lawrence of the Labia Mr. Blandings Fucks His Dream Girl

(okay, maybe I'd just like to see porn versions of classic movies)

Hilary LOVES your IDEA!!!!:D

Separated at birth?

Dude, where`s my car? - Steve Wonder

So Near,So Far : A Premiership Medal. by S.Gerrard.

i STILL think that new trainees and tracky tops can get me a boss bird.

by S. One Esq.

Er, i use Armani suits and hard cash for that John... TWAT!!!

"a short and totally truthful story of my life" Tony Wilson

By Helen Lovejoy!

"Straight as an Arrow" Harlon Smithers

waylon's smithers has wings

(see if anyone can get that reference)

hibster wrote: waylon's smithers has wings

(see if anyone can get that reference)

Lemme guess, he's name for the guy that invented minge matresses? (tho we all know claire raynor invented the winged ones)