I'm not going to even try to type the bastardised English, but thought you might appreciate my friend Gordon's website. He's a Scots 'performance poet' who's done comedy festivals and all that stuff.
His website is:
He's very funny. You can hear his readings if you click on any link with the ear symbol... I'd recommend:
'Trainy Dayz'
'It's Easy To Pee In A Kilt'
'A Scotsman's View Of L.U.'
Enjoy lads...
if it wizznay fir us Scots an' yir stealing awe oor wurds yeah'd still be speaking German (or Saxon.)