Moses was stoned when he set Ten Commandments

An Israeli researcher is claiming in a study published this week the prophet may have been stoned when he set the Ten Commandments in stone.

According to Benny Shanon, a professor of cognitive psychology at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem, psychedelic drugs formed an integral part of the religious rites of Israelites in biblical times.

Writing in the Time and Mind journal of philosophy, he says concoctions based on the bark of the acacia tree, frequently mentioned in the Old Testament, contain the same molecules as those found in plants from which the powerful Amazonian hallucinogenic brew ayahuasca is prepared.

"The thunder, lightning and blaring of a trumpet which the Book of Exodus says emanated from Mount Sinai could just have been the imaginings of a people in an altered state of awareness," writes Shanon. "In advanced forms of ayahuasca inebriation, the seeing of light is accompanied by profound religious and spiritual feelings."

This is great news. I'm going to write to the Archbishop of Canterbury to ask for clarification of the following points:

1 - What other important religious documents were produced by stoned people?

2 - Does this mean that Mr Tambourine Man can now be considered to contain the rule of religious law?

3 - If the Ten Commandments really were written by a stoner, what happened to all the other ones like "Thou shalt skin up", "thou shalt get me twelve Mars bars" and "Thou shalt... no, it's gone".

4 - Where can we get hold of some of this ayahuasca nonsense? We want to write our own bible!

Guardian (who else?)

Did he play for WBA?Yes he did.Good that's sorted then.

Sure he had an AFRO!

Let West Bromwich go

Rev Big wrote:

Less like a Midlands footballer from the 70s and more like my old PE teacher, just about to belt you for the crime of forgetting your shorts.

And even then the cunt would make you do PE in yer kecks.

I wish he'd been stoned.....

At least you got to do it in your own kecks.

WHERE did you leave your shorts though?Behind the bikeshed?

Can we clarify, did they mean the ten commandments that we know, or do they mean what was on the stone tablets? As I have pointed out before, the two are not the same.

Still, nice to know Moses appreciated a but of red Leb.

Jesus must have been on the same stuff.doesn't remember getting mary pregnant and then he walks on water !!

So when they used to say "STONE the HERETICS!!!"

what they meant was: "here give them some of this gear - they'll soon see the lights man"

I think i.m seeing a new way to get the 'lapsed' back . . . hey Ratzenburger - take a snif of this & have a listen to my ideas on the way forward mate

charlton heston put his vest on.

banshee wrote: Jesus must have been on the same stuff.doesn't remember getting mary pregnant and then he walks on water !!

Jesus got mary pregnant with himself???? the bib-lee that my teachers used must have been a different one to yours

Minx wrote:

banshee wrote: Jesus must have been on the same stuff.doesn't remember getting mary pregnant and then he walks on water !!

Jesus got mary pregnant with himself???? the bib-lee that my teachers used must have been a different one to yours

Well, you may be right.

The one I read, said that God, living Jesus and Dead Jesus are all the same person, and that therefor, Jesus IS his own dad and fucked his own mum.

Doctor? wrote:

Minx wrote:

banshee wrote: Jesus must have been on the same stuff.doesn't remember getting mary pregnant and then he walks on water !!

Jesus got mary pregnant with himself???? the bib-lee that my teachers used must have been a different one to yours

Well, you may be right.

The one I read, said that God, living Jesus and Dead Jesus are all the same person, and that therefor, Jesus IS his own dad and fucked his own mum.

ahhh I forgot about that...

my memory for fairy tales isn't great

Rumpelstiltskin was the one that killed all the baby boys though right?

That's right, then The Prodigy brought down the walls of Jericho

blasphemous lies.

hibster wrote: charlton heston put his vest on.

Burt Reynolds wrote:

hibster wrote: charlton heston put his vest on.

(Stump - Charlton Heston)

God (sic!), I wish they'd release that on CD (apart from the version on "A Fierce Pancake" - that version isn't as good) - one of my favourite records (and a Mixmaster Morris production to boot)!

Nick King wrote:

Burt Reynolds wrote:

hibster wrote: charlton heston put his vest on.

(Stump - Charlton Heston)

God (sic!), I wish they'd release that on CD (apart from the version on "A Fierce Pancake" - that version isn't as good) - one of my favourite records (and a Mixmaster Morris production to boot)!

Went to their last ever gig by mistake, where they had about thirty guitars onstage and invited the whole audience get up and plug in along with the Blue Aeroplanes, to demolish the Camden Electric Ballroom with noise. They didnt succeed.

how much is the fish?

Burt Reynolds wrote: Went to their last ever gig by mistake, where they had about thirty guitars onstage and invited the whole audience get up and plug in along with the Blue Aeroplanes, to demolish the Camden Electric Ballroom with noise. They didnt succeed.

how much is the fish?

Some of them still make music (back in Ireland), apparently... The last I heard of Stump was their collaboration with Edward Barton on a covers album, "Edward Not Edward" - that was superb!

Nick King wrote:

Burt Reynolds wrote: Went to their last ever gig by mistake, where they had about thirty guitars onstage and invited the whole audience get up and plug in along with the Blue Aeroplanes, to demolish the Camden Electric Ballroom with noise. They didnt succeed.

how much is the fish?

Some of them still make music (back in Ireland), apparently... The last I heard of Stump was their collaboration with Edward Barton on a covers album, "Edward Not Edward" - that was superb!

Edward Barton was a as mad as a fucking hatter. He supported them that night and had an acoustic guitar and a tweed jacket, crowd abused him loads, and he shouted a lot is all i remember.

A pic of him, which i think someone like Jeff should use as his avatar, cos he's ginger, got loads of fucking hair, and looks like a sex offender.

Burt Reynolds wrote:

Nick King wrote:

Burt Reynolds wrote: Went to their last ever gig by mistake, where they had about thirty guitars onstage and invited the whole audience get up and plug in along with the Blue Aeroplanes, to demolish the Camden Electric Ballroom with noise. They didnt succeed.

how much is the fish?

Some of them still make music (back in Ireland), apparently... The last I heard of Stump was their collaboration with Edward Barton on a covers album, "Edward Not Edward" - that was superb!

Edward Barton was a as mad as a fucking hatter. He supported them that night and had an acoustic guitar and a tweed jacket, crowd abused him loads, and he shouted a lot is all i remember.

A pic of him, which i think someone like Jeff should use as his avatar, cos he's ginger, got loads of fucking hair, and looks like a sex offender.

LOL - he doesn't have the beard anymore - at least he didn't when I last met him just over a year ago!

Hopefully going to see him in April in Manchester, although haven't planned anything yet! :)

Looks like the product of a union between Chewbacca and Orson Welles.

Been a while since i heard that superb tune :D

Is that the reason the pope says it is bad to smoke a joint ? Does he fear the competition with other junkies...?

I remember when he set the 400m hurdle record Los Ang 84. So now he's a Fuckin Cheat! The sports effin riddled,man.

Climbed up Mount Sinai once and had a butchers at the suppposed spot of the burning bush. But fuck all that Ten Commandments , Dead Sea Scrolls etc nonsense - get yerselves to Tel Aviv and check out the Israeli girls

Rev Big wrote: "Thou shalt... no, it's gone".

If he'd been on Charlie he'd never have stopped talking and there'd have been about 25 commandments

johnny wrote: Climbed up Mount Sinai once and had a butchers at the suppposed spot of the burning bush. But fuck all that Ten Commandments , Dead Sea Scrolls etc nonsense - get yerselves to Tel Aviv and check out the Israeli girls

did you burn some tel aviv chics bush johnny ?

LeggyD wrote:

Rev Big wrote: "Thou shalt... no, it's gone".

If he'd been on Charlie he'd never have stopped talking and there'd have been about 25 commandments

still only 10 but he'd repeat them 2 and a fucking half times

Doctor? wrote: Looks like the product of a union between Chewbacca and Orson Welles.

I just choked on my drink reading that!