PC users...two important things........

1. Get your antivirus updated and scan your machine NOW! The conficker virus has currently gotten hold of an estimated nine millions (windows) PC's....but....and here's the twist.....although it has taken control of the machines, it has not actually DONE anything yet, the world now awaits the creators to throw the big red switch. It could be that your PC becomes aspam-spewing machine, or a soldier in a DDOS-attack-for-hire campaign, or even part of a distributed computing system for cracking PGP and SSH keys! In any case, you want fuck all to do with it, you have been warned.

2. Anyone owning a 500GB or 1TB or 1.5TB seagate hard disc, should be very worried. Check out theregister or slashdot for details of the potential disaster and the appropriate fixes.

(guess who bought a 1TB seagate to hold his F1 collection, after YEARS of avoiding the cunts. When I worked in a computer shop, we got HALF a batch of seagates back with all manner of insane failures. bearings, heads, even loose platters!....and those owned by me and my mates at the time had the most fucking annoying habbit of speading bad sectors....as soon as you had one, the adjacent ones would go titsup in no time....almost as if the head, while using those near to the bad one, was chipping off the platter coating, like a crap old cassette tape. Needles to say, I'm crapping meself....cos I can't DO the fix...the drive is in a USB adaptor, but needs to be connected directly to a SATA port to fix it....and I'm really REALLY fucking lazy)

scanned and nothing came up with was harmful etc... soo should i be alright?

Geno wrote: scanned and nothing came up with was harmful etc... soo should i be alright?

As long as your virus database is reasonably up to date you'll be fine, this particular fucker has been around for a few weeks now.

In fairness, most people with opposable thumbs can avoid shit like this without the help of AV software, but it's nice to have it around.

Doctor? wrote:

Geno wrote: scanned and nothing came up with was harmful etc... soo should i be alright?

As long as your virus database is reasonably up to date you'll be fine, this particular fucker has been around for a few weeks now.

In fairness, most people with opposable thumbs can avoid shit like this without the help of AV software, but it's nice to have it around.

knew i should be, i tend to be pretty careful really. bt whats the point/idea behind all this virus shit

Some of it is geeks-gone-bad licking their own balls. Some of it is geeks-gone-bad angling for a job in the security industry by proving they know more than their current employees. But some of it, an increasing amount, is about taking over (zombifying) PC's to be turned to the author's will.....they then sell their services......want to send a billion spams, they're your man, is there a website you want taken down...give the botnet herder $50,000 and he'll point all the zombies at it, pinging the fuck out of it until nobody can actually use it. If conficker gets used that way it'll be the H-Bomb of DDOS attacks (Distributed Denial of Service).....nine million machine simultaneously tapping a webserver on the shoulder and saying "excuse me...?" a thousand times a second each...Booooom....and then a note to the webmaster...."I can make it stop for £40" (plus more 0's )

Webmaster?

GaryMac wrote: Webmaster?

Bloke what runs a website.

Doctor? wrote:

GaryMac wrote: Webmaster?

Bloke what runs a website.

How quaint

and they still have those? I thought the lunatics had taken over the asylum for a minute there

GaryMac wrote:

Doctor? wrote:

GaryMac wrote: Webmaster?

Bloke what runs a website.

How quaint

and they still have those? I thought the lunatics had taken over the asylum for a minute there

Only here Gary, not on proper websites with proper users and proper staff.

Doctor? wrote:

GaryMac wrote:

Doctor? wrote:

GaryMac wrote: Webmaster?

Bloke what runs a website.

How quaint

and they still have those? I thought the lunatics had taken over the asylum for a minute there

Only here Gary, not on proper websites with proper users and proper staff.

touche

mind you on a serious note I did fuck off for 12 months, like they say use it or lose it and I am determined not to end up as one of those back in the day kinda guys, things change/evolve, one day someone may look back at the various ages/phases of NOOL ( and think 'they built the web for this?'). I know when I first came across the place(and just lurked for a while) it had a certain tone and humour, then that evolved a few times, then after 12 months of staying out, it is different again. still, it shrinks the world and there are some inspired fookin moments and posts

so blackmail for geeks,

i need to blackmail hobgoblin music so i can get the shergold 8 string bass

Cambo HELP!

I tried to fix my issue with the virus, by trying the usual antivirus methods, now my machine has been acting haywire. WTF!

Sounds like you've locked the door after the horse has fucked off mate :(

I heard something about this...luckily my software should be up to date..I hope!

Doctor? wrote: Sounds like you've locked the door after the horse has fucked off mate :(

Well I did the normal thing ya know for viruses. Pour nyquil into the expandable cup-holder. Figured a bit over the keyboard would keep the viruses away... but then it all started to make a fizzling sound afterwards. can't be good.

What do i do from here?

P.S. how do you get the nyquil from becoming sticky stuff and get it off yer fingers?

Think I see your problem, you forgot to put your foot on the pedal while you did it.

And make sure you hit the any key when done.

(If Macroshaft built cars, you'd need to hit the gas to stop)

Screw that, I'm done with those pedals. Have you tried moving the roller wheel with your index toe? I mean it's impossible, who designed those things anyways!? Found its easier to control it with one foot moving it and the other big toe clicking the buttons. If I need to use the roller wheel I just reach down and do it with my finger... but that can get messy as I hate getting Dorito shards betweeen my toes.

By the way, the Nyquil ain't workin' .. what type of anti-virus medcine do you use? I'm totally lost here...

Most important thing is ......... come to your senses, ditch the PC and buy a Mac (Whats anti-virus software )

You need a genuine key, or a bloody good crack ;)

This "more machines run DOS" argument holds no water...there are far more UNIX machines than windows machines....just cos it doesn't have a keyboard and monitor doesn't mean it's not a computer.

Doctor? wrote: You need a genuine key, or a bloody good crack ;)

This "more machines run DOS" argument holds no water...there are far more UNIX machines than windows machines....just cos it doesn't have a keyboard and monitor doesn't mean it's not a computer.

Erm, no there aren't... :)

There are more Windows than UNIX machines (at least there were the last time I looked)! :p

If more people owned Macs than Windows, the virus writers would spend their time attacking Macs - simple...

Going on with the antiviris theme....

When i bought my first computer Norton was supposed to be the best thing since sliced bread.

After using Norton and other Free antivirus progs,i can honestly say that i jave,will ALWAYS go for the FREE option!

AVG antivirus is the dogs bollocks!

Used in conjunction with:

http://www.ccleaner.com

And touch wood,not had any problemos yet!

http://www.neworderinfoweb.piczo.com

that's the same as I use. ccleaner and AVG free. I've got some spyware thing on here too, that claims to find about 50 infections per day, more if I've been on speciality sites.

What OS does you TV run? your fridge? Your phone? Your Watch? Your MP3 player? Your car? Your sat-nav?

Ans: not windows.

Like I said, it doesn't need a screen and a keyboard to be a computer, there's probably 50 or more computers in your house, at least half running some form of 'nix

"there are more windows machines" is pure MS propaganda,

After all....who want's their child on a life support machine that will through a blue screen if they roll over?

FACT: Norton causes more pain than any virus.

Doctor? wrote: FACT: Norton causes more pain than any virus.

Correctomundo Doc , when i had Norton on my first two comps,it was that shite that it would regularly take TEN fookin minutes to load up,in Factmas i was a bit wet behind the ears (still am),then i just deleted Norton and my comp got virused up to fook!

http://www.neworderinfoweb.piczo.com

Doctor? wrote: What OS does you TV run? your fridge? Your phone? Your Watch? Your MP3 player? Your car? Your sat-nav?

Ans: not windows.

Like I said, it doesn't need a screen and a keyboard to be a computer, there's probably 50 or more computers in your house, at least half running some form of 'nix

"there are more windows machines" is pure MS propaganda,

After all....who want's their child on a life support machine that will through a blue screen if they roll over?

And, how many of them are currently connected to a network? My fridge???

:p

Nick King wrote:

Doctor? wrote: What OS does you TV run? your fridge? Your phone? Your Watch? Your MP3 player? Your car? Your sat-nav?

Ans: not windows.

Like I said, it doesn't need a screen and a keyboard to be a computer, there's probably 50 or more computers in your house, at least half running some form of 'nix

"there are more windows machines" is pure MS propaganda,

After all....who want's their child on a life support machine that will through a blue screen if they roll over?

And, how many of them are currently connected to a network? My fridge???

:p

Ahhhh so the goalposts move. Has to have a Nic to be a computer does it? Viri can get in other ways...media/DVD players can catch them from discs or USB drives for example. And there are internet connected fridges for the truly tragic anyway ;)

The important unix based systems....like those that control national rail systems or the national grid, ARE connected to a network. The point is, if a cracker finds a bug in windows, it takes MS a year to react. Bug in free software are usually detected by developers BEFORE release, and those found afterwards are isolated and fixed in hours rather than months....that's it's real secret.

Indeed, not arguing about that, but how do you transfer a virus to a sat nav/fridge/oven/boiler/watch/microwave/vibrator/etc when there is no method to get a virus to it?

Thus, if we're talking about computers where a virus can spread (i.e. the one with a monitor and a keyboard and connected to some sort of network, with people who will click and open an e-mail, replying back to spam, surf porn, or wish to download cracked software), then that's the one where a virus writer will concentrate their efforts...

And in that case, Windows outnumbers UNIX/Macs...

Nick King wrote: Indeed, not arguing about that, but how do you transfer a virus to a sat nav/fridge/oven/boiler/watch/microwave/vibrator/etc when there is no method to get a virus to it?

Thus, if we're talking about computers where a virus can spread (i.e. the one with a monitor and a keyboard and connected to some sort of network, with people who will click and open an e-mail, replying back to spam, surf porn, or wish to download cracked software), then that's the one where a virus writer will concentrate their efforts...

And in that case, Windows outnumbers UNIX/Macs...

You can network via the mains you know ;)

But many of those devices DO have the abilitiy to be infected (satnavs connect to PC's and have USB sockets do they not, likewise, phones). And a virus for that sort of device would be a pure wankfest for some annoying VXer. Not trying to say 'nix (particularly it's free offshoots) are immune, far from it, some of the best computer attacks in history were 'nix related, it's just that it's got a better inherent security model, and most importantly as I alluded to above, when everyone can see the source code, everyone can see the glaring security holes, and oddly it's almost always easier to fix them than exploit them, so the balance lies with the Good Guys.

Ally wrote:

Windows people looking for free and quick solutions I would recommend grabbing all the critical updates you can for XP or Vista by visiting Windows or Microsoft Update (you need a genuine product key). There are also a number of free utilities which are good for keeping your system clean and running virus free:

• Avast! Home Edition Virus Scan (You have to register for a free 1 year key).
• ZoneAlarm Free Firewall v9.0
• Spybot-S&D (An obvious one)
• Crap Cleaner
• Auslogics Free Disk Defragger
• Windows Malicious Software Removal Tool (Run this if you think you have a virus)

All free and all reasonably good.

Cheers for those Ally. Already have Spybot and CC Cleaner but downloaded the disk defrag one and the Avast (well, the set up wizard for it for now. Have AVG for anti virus which seems to do a great job so not too fussed about having another but may install it sometime)