Peter Kay

I saw Peter Kay in Manchester last night. He's fucking crap. Didn't say one thing that I'd not heard somewhere else.

Brilliantly, he followed an even worse support act: Rick Astley (who still looks about ten). Rick started off terribly, then launched into an unbearably dire medley of songs by Mancunians - Wonderwall, He Ain't Heavy He's My Brother, Kinky Afro, Blue Monday, I Don't Like Cricket then he finished with Never Gonna Give You Up. Shit it was fucking terrible.

I drank all of our interval wine, a whole bottle, before Kay got on stage. I went back for more, then drank that in the first half. By the interval I was completely pissed, dying for a wee and forty quid lighter. I only mention this as my wry smile at realising what I'd done was the most enjoyable part of the whole evening.

What a pile of shit.

Garlic bread?

I just don't get this bloke - I always assumed this was the northern sense of humour and that's why. I heard about the 'Manchester medley' and wondered if JD/NO were included.Eeeek.

I stayed away for exactly this reason. I didn't know about Rick Astley though, I'd have gone for that

Anyway, facebook status updates were interesting. Two friends proclaiming it to be the 'funniest gig ever', another 'absolute shite'.

I think I'll be going for the latter.

Beginning to wish I'd not got tickets now! I'm going next week, oh well, it's a night out!

Jed Stephens wrote: Beginning to wish I'd not got tickets now! I'm going next week, oh well, it's a night out!

....which sounds like the punchline to a Peter Kay gag.....

Clayhead Liberation Faction wrote:

Jed Stephens wrote: Beginning to wish I'd not got tickets now! I'm going next week, oh well, it's a night out!

....which sounds like the punchline to a Peter Kay gag.....

No garlic bread was involved!

if he says "it's spitting" once I'm gobbing at the little fat fuck!

saw him ten (10!) years ago and he doesn't appear to have written any new material . comedy's not the new rock'n' roll otherwise you'd have people stood at the back saying "he did the bullseye routine for an encore last night", or "haven't heard 'pissed uncle at wedding sketch' since Northampton Roadmenders 1999.

Twenty-odd nights filling the MEN with £35 tickets

shazzer wrote: I heard about the 'Manchester medley' and wondered if JD/NO were included.Eeeek.

From (painful) memory: Wonderwall (acoustic guitar by Rick), I Don't Like Cricket, There Is A Light That Never Goes Out, A Bee Gees one ("yes, they really are from Manchester"), Kinky Afro (Rick didn't attempt to sing this one, the guitarist shouted "twisting my melons man" and "call the cops", Blue Monday (Rick shouted "who went to the Hacienda then?", and some of the crowd gurned and nodded a bit, the bassist went into Hooky mode, ie bent over a bot and looked moody). Peeping through my fingers, I saw Rick give up on his guitar and put it down. Then the sorry mess segued into Never Gonna Give You Up, greeted by a loud cheer as everyone realised that this would be his last song.

Actually, everyone seemed to really enjoy it. Fair play to him for getting a gig like that and carrying it off with just the right balance of professionalism and self-deprecation.

He's still a dick, though.

i saw him do a run through of his show at the met in bury last week,i thought he was very funny but then again i do like him

i'm not sure how it'd come across in the men arena though,i don't like watching bands there never mind a comedian but he went down a storm in front of 200 people

As was stated earlier the man did a tour with Rick Astley. Even sang with him, bit legendary.

Pablo Bastardo wrote:

shazzer wrote: I heard about the 'Manchester medley' and wondered if JD/NO were included.Eeeek.

From (painful) memory: Wonderwall (acoustic guitar by Rick), I Don't Like Cricket, There Is A Light That Never Goes Out, A Bee Gees one ("yes, they really are from Manchester"), Kinky Afro (Rick didn't attempt to sing this one, the guitarist shouted "twisting my melons man" and "call the cops", Blue Monday (Rick shouted "who went to the Hacienda then?", and some of the crowd gurned and nodded a bit, the bassist went into Hooky mode, ie bent over a bot and looked moody). Peeping through my fingers, I saw Rick give up on his guitar and put it down. Then the sorry mess segued into Never Gonna Give You Up, greeted by a loud cheer as everyone realised that this would be his last song.

Actually, everyone seemed to really enjoy it. Fair play to him for getting a gig like that and carrying it off with just the right balance of professionalism and self-deprecation.

He's still a dick, though.

Obviously.We don't have a cringe face on here do we? Funny that I read the peeping through my fingers bit on your post while I was doing the same here.

Peter Kay has to be one of the most unfunny men on the planet. How he managed to become a comedian would keep a quantum mechanic busy for a whole career.

You can lump Ricky Gervais in with him as well.

UpDownTurnAround wrote: Peter Kay has to be one of the most unfunny men on the planet. How he managed to become a comedian would keep a quantum mechanic busy for a whole career.

You can lump Ricky Gervais in with him as well.

amen to that. At least Kay doesn't make me feel instantly ill like gervais does.

Doctor? wrote:

UpDownTurnAround wrote: Peter Kay has to be one of the most unfunny men on the planet. How he managed to become a comedian would keep a quantum mechanic busy for a whole career.

You can lump Ricky Gervais in with him as well.

amen to that. At least Kay doesn't make me feel instantly ill like gervais does.

Gervais is at least funny, he just sticks with the joke far too long and never knows when to move on... Kay on the other hand, well my cock is funnier than him.

Tucker wrote: Are you saying your cock gets lots of spontaneous laughter, Edel?

Hard to laugh when yer choking and gagging on it, but the man chowda might just come out yer nose.

That's just what we here cowboys call pillow talk

EdelBrock wrote:

Tucker wrote: Are you saying your cock gets lots of spontaneous laughter, Edel?

Hard to laugh when yer choking and gagging on it, but the man chowda might just come out yer nose.

that's one of the most disgusting things i've ever read

Wow! What's with The Kay backlash??

I wasn't impressed with his live show on DVD. But... Phoenix Nights & Max and Paddy are just quality!

MONTY wrote: Wow! What's with The Kay backlash??

I think it's a case of people getting a bit fed up of morons laughing at moronic 'jokes'.

Garlic bread?

His "comedy" appears to hinge on the fact that it is "funny" for a professional performer to constantly spout the kind of inane, banal gibberish more commonly suffered at the hands of some rambling care in the community case on the bus, or your senile nan.

I remember a 5 minute routine on his tower ballroom gig (to an audience who'd have been rejected for Mrs Merton for being too near death), about how "hilarious" it is when people make telephone calls across timezones and ask "what time's it there". I find the only grain of humor in this, is that these people cannot do basic addition and subtraction, and that's hardly a belly buster.

I think he sees himself as a Vic Reeves type.....constructing and alternative take on traditional northern club turns, but in reality, he just IS one of those cheap bar performers.

Ricky Gervais is a totally mirthless wanker who genuinely makes my flesh crawl.

I've never liked stupidity based "comedy", from Chaplin to Mr Bean....there is nothing funny about a moron being a moron, any more than a cat being a cat or a chair being a chair.

What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking after a house fire.

While I agree with most of your assessment, how about the movie The Jerk, Cambo? Funniest damn movie ever, but all about Steve Martin being too dumb for his own good.

Well, in a complete turn around, I'm now off to see him tonight. My friend offered me two tickets, free of charge. I'm not one to pass up on a freebie and I can always leave when Rick Astley's finished.

There's more to Peter Kay than his stand up tho. Phoenix Night and Max & Paddy's Road To Nowhere are both absolute genius.

Max and Paddy wasn't quite as good as PN but it's still ten times better than anything that's been on since. Tell you what though, how spoiled were we all in 2001 with Phoenix Nights and The Office coming along within months of each other? Two bona-fide classics that will be remembered for years to come.

or the thick of it?

max and paddy was just shit. utter drivel.

Agree with Tucker about Dave Spikey - now he is funny.

Just back. Rick Astley was fun, Kay was disappointing. There were a couple of funny lines, but not £40 worth.

I had a woman to the right of me who had no idea about personal space, and some 15 year olds to my left who never shut up all through the act. I was highly irritated by the end.

Not looking forward to hearing the new chants of "Plasma" either.

Missy Jem wrote: Just back. Rick Astley was fun, Kay was disappointing. There were a couple of funny lines, but not £40 worth.

I had a woman to the right of me who had no idea about personal space, and some 15 year olds to my left who never shut up all through the act. I was highly irritated by the end.

Not looking forward to hearing the new chants of "Plasma" either.

Jemmie, who's the surprise guest at the end? I had visions of Tony Christie...

shazzer wrote: Agree with Tucker about Dave Spikey - now he is funny.

SPIKEY!! "Don't Mums and Dad's talk some shit? "A WATCHED KETTLE NEVER BOILS..." Course it fucking does!"

My favourite was Chitty bang bang

El Jarvo wrote:

GlasVegas wrote: Max and Paddy wasn't quite as good as PN but it's still ten times better than anything that's been on since.

I'd go with Phoenix Nights, but can't see how Max & Paddy could ever be called a classic?

It was just Phoenix Nights 'lite'. Er, wasn't it?

What about Peep Show or Inbetweeners since?

Max and Paddy wasn't a kick in the arse off being as good as PN, too many people wrote it off after one or two episodes. I watched the DVD again the other week and there's still loads of jokes that I'd missed the first time. Some brilliant one liners. So, in my book, calling it a 'classic' is pretty accurate.

Peep Show would fall into that category too, no doubt. Especially given the fact that they've managed to keep it funny for so long. Inbetweeners is OK. Well worth watching but in no way a 'classic' and a bit too juvenile in a lot of it's humour.

funniest comedian i've ever seen was Ross Noble. My mate went two nights running and said only 3 jokes were the same, everything else was from talking to the audience and making it up on the spot.

That's how to do it Kay!