Kids, eh?

Last night, to calm down my 2-and-a-half years old son, I decided to show him Disney's Snow White DVD. Wanna know what was his reaction to it?

"Daddy, I wanna see the Simpsons (or "dasshimpsshonssh" as he says it)!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I'm so proud!

... and that's 'before' you go to get your hair done.

George, why don't you buy a goat? - you could enjoy the animal and also save time by not having to cut the lawn with a petrol mower? - admittedly, you'd have to make a little house for the critter. At weekends you might even consider entering the goat into motor shows.

Hey, just a thought.

Originally posted by Huntsman ... and that's 'before' you go to get your hair done.George, why don't you buy a goat? - you could enjoy the animal and also save time by not having to cut the lawn with a petrol mower? - admittedly, you'd have to make a little house for the critter. At weekends you might even consider entering the goat into motor shows.Hey, just a thought.

No can do. I don't have "lawn". I do possess, however, a "little house". Wich is not in the "prairie", I'm afraid.

What about a monkey then?

Originally posted by Huntsman What about a monkey then?

I have twelve of them.

Originally posted by Monsieur Round&Round > Originally posted by Huntsman> What about a monkey then?> >

I have twelve of them.

Correction: I have a whole planet full of 'em.

Originally posted by Monsieur Round&Round > Originally posted by Huntsman> ... and that's 'before' you go to get your hair done.> > George, why don't you buy a goat? - you could enjoy the animal and also save time by not having to cut the lawn with a petrol mower? - admittedly, you'd have to make a little house for the critter. At weekends you might even consider entering the goat into motor shows.> > Hey, just a thought.> >

No can do. I don't have "lawn". I do possess, however, a "little house". Wich is not in the "prairie", I'm afraid.

Couldn't you tether the goat to your roof?

Originally posted by Hank Wiseass© > Originally posted by Monsieur Round&Round > Originally posted by Huntsman> ... and that's 'before' you go to get your hair done.> > George, why don't you buy a goat? - you could enjoy the animal and also save time by not having to cut the lawn with a petrol mower? - admittedly, you'd have to make a little house for the critter. At weekends you might even consider entering the goat into motor shows.> > Hey, just a thought.> >

No can do. I don't have "lawn". I do possess, however, a "little house". Wich is not in the "prairie", I'm afraid.

Couldn't you tether the goat to your roof?

Can't. Stephen is alergic to them.

Don't have kids, don't want kids, don't need kids. I have a niece and nephew, that satisfies my paternal instincts.

Note to obsessive Radiohead fans: This thread is called "Kids, eh?", NOT "Kid A".

Thank you.

Note to Radiohead.

Please pick up a loaf and a pint of milk on the way home.

Milk comes in pints?

It does in the UK ... for about 2,000 years.

Also, we travel in miles per hour, measure in centimetres and enjoy Diet Coke as opposed to Coca Cola Lite (the thinking being that people who drink diet drinks don't want to admit they're on a diet!?).

Neat.

Not quarts? Or quartz?

Mmmm.

Not sure how this will be interpreted. But if I went to the shop for some milk (approx. every other day, which is pretty average here) I would ask for (or seek out) a 4 pinter of skimmed. That's fully skimmed with little fat or cream. If I only wanted a bit to pass me by I'd ask for a pint of milk. If I was to satisfy an urge, I would ask for a half-pint ... and so on.

Asking for a quarter or something like that is simply unheard of, if that's the kind of thing your referring to?

A lot of people still have a milkman, who delivers a couple of pints a day ... like the old black and white films (made in the UK). Having visited the States I did notice that obtaining milk was difficult, and when I finally found some it tasted of bacteria.

But then again the climate is so warm you probably don't eat a lot of cereal and drink so much tea.

On average, I probably drink about 6 cups of tea a day, with coffees on top and a bowl of cereal if its the weekend. Special K is my tipple with no sugar. (and obviously fully skimmed).

To put it in perspective Pantry, if you walked into a local shop near me, and asked for a quartz of milk, you'd be written in folklore as the Texas giant who came to town and was laughed out of the shop in a somewhat quirky and intense differing cultural defining moment.

Originally posted by ShugZV©
> Originally posted by Patrick> Not quarts? Or quartz?>

Nah - they're for people stranded on a deserted island spouting mumbo jumbo.

Shunty beat me to it.

Can I just add that a world without decent milk and proper tea is not a world I'd like to live in.

I've heard the people who do live there smell of baccy.

To me, and probably most people here, pints imply alcohol. Milk comes in quarts and half gallons, in grocery stores. You can also find it in many take-out sandwich places in tiny containers that may be half pints perhaps. Tea is not a very common beverage, except iced tea. Coffee rules.

P - that would be more convincing if you had adjusted as thus; coffee rulez.

Cool baby.

(but really, you stuck that in to provoke us didn't you you cheeky young upstart)

Speaking of which I sat through 50MPH with M&M's the other week and felt a bit hollow at the end. Did he forget to put the second half of the film in? - also, I though he could have done more dancing.

I wouldn't wish to ignite a coffee war as I dearly love the stuff anyhow, plus, there's a few good films about drugs which always take place around coffee fields.

I recently ordered quite an extensive range of world coffees which we are currently enjoying sampling.

Unfortunately at work my trusted china cup of so many years has developed a worrying strain, caused by excess sipping. We today announced its retirement from fluid holding and soon it will be thrown into the skip.

Although I am a coffee drinker, my comment was merely meant as an objective descriptive comment and not as a battle cry.

I haven't seen 18 mph; however the MTV movie awards are on tonight (taped last weekend) and I understand he won. Of course I will watch it.

Shugsy, you have out-Huntsmanned Mr. H, I would say.

Little Terry played well and was very brave naming himself after Roland Rat. He should have sped off at the end in his Rat Mobile but that might have been too far fetched.

I have to declare myself a strong coffee consumer, rather than a weak kitten like the Shuftbanger. Did you see the way I wrote weak there in an effort to make me seem somehow more robust? - a very transparent effort. It may have left me with egg on my shoe but I'm prepared to risk it.

You say you've travelled Card Shuffler, did you manage to get to the other end of Glasgow or did you peek and 'gan home like a mariner? - possibly a stone in thy shoe.

Pasty, can it be true? - another Musical Awards Ceremony from our friends at the speed camera centre!? - are there enough outlets in Texas selling enough snackettes to satisfy your harsh demands? ... I doubt it.

Who's hosting this year, Terry Nutkins and Johnny Morris? (believe it or not, two correctly named UK presenters who fronted a show entitled 'Animal Magic')

Originally posted by Patrick Shugsy, you have out-Huntsmanned Mr. H, I would say.

Maybe so (this time) - but be aware, The Shuffler inserted a popular children's presenter 'Roland Rat' from the 80's (a bit in the 90's) so technically he has not achieved maximum dexterity with his digits.

If only he had fused Roland with Rabbit, he would have co-joined the real life character Roland, with the apocryphal M&M creation Rabbit, forging an even mightier comic character.

Alas, Shuffler must learn from this if he is to battle in the future.

Whether he intended to outdo me is un-clarified at this stage.

On a different tack, somehow I manage to stumble across the life story of John Holmes on SkyBall the other day. A whole 2 hours of sordid Holmes banter charting his meteoric rise to fame utilising his enormous gentleman, becoming embroiled in the Wishbone settlings then featuring in a gay film when he was a bit past it to raise coin to pay for milk and coffee.

I did not realise he had snuffed it, but after seeing his life story it seemed inevitable. He evidently acquired an horrific virus from a colleague in the gay movie he completed and kicked it at the measly age of about 43. Oddly, he took a plane to Italy and banged Chichilina (the long time Italian porn star) when he realised he had the deathly disease which eventually consumed him.

It was suggested he battered his wife. Which surely wasn't the proper thing to do, even if he did require a shot of marmite to crave his hunger pangs. It seems a shame that a man should have to suffer at the hands of the porno industry. Could he not get a job smacking upside down pigs like Rocky did in the first show?

Can I just mention that the show was screened mid-afternoon so there was little action to speak of.

I was actually commenting on Shugzo's previous post, H.

The hosts are Justin Synchronizer and Seann William Scott, who I understand may possibly have been in your favorite movie, Dude Where's My Cartoon?

There will be enough snacks, I assure you.

Have you seen The Believer, H?

I haven't Peach ... is it good?

My bird has unearthed an advert for a film where people mistake identities but I can't remember the name of it.

Is the Believing Unit about people who believe in ghosts?

What with The Most Valuable Primate 3 pencilled in for 2007 I'm not sure I can cope with all this news.

Duck where's my Egg Whisk was tripe. But I like Graham William Skint, and I've previously posted my reviews on the boy child Jacob, who I still prefer to some other of his contemporaries.

American Pie Chart Du was very funny, as was the first one. Although I thought they would be shit.

The guy with the cranky nose is great. Let's see more of him please.

Oh wait, I have a slightly amusing story about our last DVD hire ...

I'm glad for whatever I can do, Shugsy.

Boy child Jacob, H? Cranky nose? You've lost me.

The Believer is about a young Jewish neo-Nazi in NYC. It stars my new favorite 22 year old actor.

All the new actors are 22 aren't they P?

Jason Bigglesworthy and the boy child Jeremy Cumbersome the Jackson impersonator.

One has appeared in almost all of the teen flicks of the last 6 years and the other is about to be viewed by your good self tonight with Biggs' mate Jeremy Scott Williamson and his ambivalent ostrich.

Like the Shunter, I too have to leg it for snap.

Until the next time.

And P, enjoy the show tonight. I hope some all of your dreams come true in a real star studded array of stars and stoats.

... the lack of response for Holmes was a disappointment.

He deserved better.

Originally posted by Huntsman ... the lack of response for Holmes was a disappointment.He deserved better.

Sorry, H, I just didn't know what to say.

But actually The Believer was, as they say, critically acclaimed.

Interesting, were you aware of one of the most critically acclaimed bands over the last 20 years from the UK? ... think they were called The Smiths. I'd have to check.

Notable for compliments from almost everyone who's anyone.

Originally posted by Huntsman Interesting, were you aware of one of the most critically acclaimed bands over the last 20 years from the UK? ... think they were called The Smiths. I'd have to check.Notable for compliments from almost everyone who's anyone.

I will give them another listen, H.

The show was quite good, except for two thirds of the musical acts.