No-no: The Worst of New Order Live

We probably talked about this before, but I've decided to finally get it off the ground. A compilation CD of their worst live performances. I'm not talking about occasional flubbed lyrics or potty-mouth outbursts, but the renditions where the whole thing went tits up, either through the wrong bassline being played, live synths being played as though by a blind man with his fingers tied together, you know the sort of thing.

On board so far are:

Chosen Time - Atlanta 85 Sooner Than You Think - Sheffield 86 LWTUA - Birmingham 83 (though I know there is a worse rendition out there, just can't remember which one!) Ceremony - Bristol 82 Weirdo - Hacienda July 85 (debut but finished song) ICB - Orleans 85 Leave Me Alone - Gloucester 84 Age Of Consent - Stockholm 26/2/83 Perfect Kiss - Glasgow 85 Guilty Partner - MEN Arena 98

Songs that were work in progress don't count, it's the genuine howlers that make the grade on this product. All suggestions will be carefully vetted, and the finished article will be made available for people to freely download, including artwork.

Your nominations please!

At least a triple cd's worth.

Guilty Partner MEN 1998.

Blue Monday...

take ya pick from the last 15 years

Incidently, i think that any live performance with a "guest" vocalist deserves a place in this hall of shame. not mentioning any names.. *cough* Digital Simms *cough*

Excellent idea.

Don't know what to suggest... didn't someone here said that the live version of "Special" really sucked, so they decided not to play it anymore?

Originally posted by DoN Blue Monday...take ya pick from the last 15 years Incidently, i think that any live performance with a "guest" vocalist deserves a place in this hall of shame.not mentioning any names.. *cough* Digital Simms *cough*

No, anything to get Shug singing for England is a worthwhile venture.

Was it TPK that was aborted at Sobell Centre '85?

Originally posted by Al Jarvis Any 'Tourette Mix' of Close Range where Barney decided to just SHOUT the lyrics instead of singing 'em. Actually, that probably made a shite song all the more better? Any version of True Faith or BLT since 1998. Maybe Touched as well.

It's the shite performances of good songs though, not the shite songs themselves! I will stick on the Weirdo from Australia 87 where he loses the plot though.

Originally posted by PHD At least a triple cd's worth. Guilty Partner MEN 1998.

Good one. Also a Hurt from 1982 where the sequencer stopped midway through.

Originally posted by Resurrection Spider Excellent idea. Don't know what to suggest... didn't someone here said that the live version of "Special" really sucked, so they decided not to play it anymore?

Good call - it's a bit of a ropey recording though, may be difficult to get it up to scratch on the sound quality front.

Originally posted by James Thomas > Originally posted by DoN> Blue Monday... take ya pick from the last 15 years Incidently, i think that any live performance with a "guest" vocalist deserves a place in this hall of shame. not mentioning any names.. *cough* Digital Simms *cough*

No, anything to get Shug singing for England is a worthwhile venture. Was it TPK that was aborted at Sobell Centre '85?

Yeah - good one. I shan't stick the Ceremony interlude up though, as the Bristol 82 Ceremony is far too worthy a winner!

1985-12-13 Orleans, France

Plenty of scope here

Midway through ICB hooky's bass packs in.

She's lost control. Not one of Hookys finest moments, barney shouts "Jesus" at one point.

Plus all the usual "colourful" lyrics etc.

Should still be on easytree.org, if not I'll reseed.

Ceremony--Ukranian gig

Barney sounds like English is his second or third language

Originally posted by twist Ceremony--Ukranian gigBarney sounds like English is his second or third language

Ah, reminded me of another one. Hooky's playing of ceremony at Bristol 26/02/82. I think he's playing a completely different song from the rest of the band at times in it.

Originally posted by Al Jarvis > Originally posted by twist> Ceremony--Barney sounds like English is his second or third language

It is. He's Norvern. Classic!

Originally posted by mike watson 1985-12-13 Orleans, France Plenty of scope here Midway through ICB hooky's bass packs in. She's lost control. Not one of Hookys finest moments, barney shouts "Jesus" at one point. Plus all the usual "colourful" lyrics etc. Should still be on easytree.org, if not I'll reseed.

Aye, a worthy candidate. They never played it again!

Blue Monday - total Bollocks and boring

shellshock was always awful live.

i also seem to remember a pretty horrible version of angel dust at malvern in 86

Originally posted by oldmonkey

LWTUA - Birmingham 83 (though I know there is a worse rendition out there, just can't remember which one b]

You might find the CLP 85 soundcheck version to be by far the worst piece of keyboard playing yet

Oh, and Leave Me Alone from ???was it Malvern or perhaps one of the '84 mini tour in August, Gloucester or St Austell?. Fookin' terrible bit of bass playing from Hooky

What about Rock The Shack in Glasgow in 2001, 'it's too fookin' hard!'

Originally posted by Solitude Oh, and Leave Me Alone from ???was it Malvern or perhaps one of the '84 mini tour in August, Gloucester or St Austell?. Fookin' terrible bit of bass playing from Hooky

Gloucester. First minute on the wrong string, totally unrecognisable - we thought it was a new song!

wHAT ABOUT JUST PUTTING every GIG on a CD-R and calling it NEW ORDER ALIVE AND UNWELL!Don't remember them ever playing anything good LIVE but it is hard to listen to with a KFC bucket on me head son............

What was that gig inwhich during This Time of Night Barney starts singing to Eddie to adjust the bass sequencer??

'If you turn up the bass squencer my ears would be happy."

Fit quite well with the song.

Other ideas would be the inbetween song chat. Barney must not be able to hear Hooky. ALWAYS peter says something and Barney inteeeerupts and says the same thing or something. Comical

How about Leave Me Alone at Gloucester in 1984, the one where Hooky spent most of the song trying to get the bass line right (and recognisable).

Whoops, see this one's already been done.

Originally posted by twist What was that gig inwhich during This Time of Night Barney starts singing to Eddie to adjust the bass sequencer??'If you turn up the bass squencer my ears would be happy."Fit quite well with the song.

Orleans again (from the .txt file that came with it) :-

BS (singing): "The bass sequencer I cannot hear / If you turn it up, my ears will feel much better, Eddie / "I can hear the bass sequencer / Turn it up, you..." while Hooky fills in the correct backing vox.

Another classic in "TTON", at 1:51: "Without you they'll never fucking show "Without you my dick won't grow "Without you I'm left alone "Without you my dick's like a bone "Without you I live in pain "Without you my anus is insane"

There's a Blue Monday from the mid 80s that is just swearing. Don't know which gig though.

"I thought I was a cunt, I thought I was a twat", etc etc.

Originally posted by Ronald Kirsch There's a Blue Monday from the mid 80s that is just swearing. Don't know which gig though."I thought I was a cunt, I thought I was a twat", etc etc.

That's from the '84 BBC recordings me thinks.

BTW...I think that particular performance is Grrrrrreat!!!! That is entertainment!!

TBTHOG @ the Reading 87 show...

That basically sucked ass!!

TBTHOG always sucks live but oh how grateful I would be to be there watching them perform it live right now.

The Red Parrot gig, Feb 21, 1987, in Perth, Australia has a great rendition of Blue Monday.

"But if it wasn't for my big boner I'd be a heavenly twat today And I thought I was a bastard And I thought I was a cunt

Tell me, wow does it feel? When your dick is small?"

Yeh Blue Monday from the Red Parrot gig. That's the one. TA. Surely this is a must for any worst off comp.

Originally posted by twist TBTHOG always sucks live but oh how grateful I would be to be there watching them perform it live right now.The Red Parrot gig, Feb 21, 1987, in Perth, Australia has a great rendition of Blue Monday."But if it wasn't for my big bonerI'd be a heavenly twat todayAnd I thought I was a bastardAnd I thought I was a cunt Tell me, wow does it feel?When your dick is small?"

THAT'S the right one!!! Thanks for reminding me...I got that CD somewhere in some pile on the floor...

As I said though, we could fill a dozen CDs with potty-mouth episodes. This compliation will consist only of instances where they have screwed up the playing of the song.

Maybe otherwise a brill gig, but what about TPK during Barrowlands Glasgow '85?

TPK

BS: "This song is our new single, erm. It's really good. Think it is, anyway, is it? Yes it is.

They were having technical difficulties, resulting in the following unusual sequence to start out:

"Just takes us a long time to get going. A very long time. Very very very long time. Called a Perfect Kiss Takes a long time to get going, doesn't it? Hurry up! Hurry up! Hurry up! Hurry up! Hurry up! Hurry up! Hurry up! Doesn't start like this on the record. It starts very different to this on the record. Hurry up! Hurry up! Fucking hurry up! Hurry up! Hurry up!

It's starting now."

At about the 3:45 point, a synth line gows awry. It's a couple of octaves higher than what it is supposed to be. Again at 4:50, but gets quickly squelched.

After the song finishes us, Bernard smartly notes:

"Uh, it sounds a bit like that."

And Age Of Consent at Kollingsborg Stockholm 1983-02-26, where Hooky just decides to start this one a few notes lower than wont.

To be honest, I'd be even more interested in a 'Barney Says' or "Hookline' CD...probably can squeeze all the bon mots onto a disc or two.

--Sam

What are you doing up in the bay area Sam? Don't know if I have that gig...

Isn't there a gig where the beginning of EGG or 586 won't start because the sequencer keeps quitting after a couple of bars? You can clearly here someone in the audience shout "Keep Trying!"

Help me out here Happy One...

i dont think they messed it up big time.....but the totp performance of thieves was pretty horrible

Originally posted by PAUL TROWELL i dont think they messed it up big time.....but the totp performance of thieves was pretty horrible

And the TOTP performance of Blue Monday where they looked like they'd wandered in off the street.

After that I think BM went down the charts!

Why is this called the worst of New Order live ? It should be the Best of:D

In a lot of versions of 586/EGG/Temptation, the sequencer starts to go nuts, abruptly stopping or launching into the wrong song. Maybe the whole 586/EGG/Temptation segues were because Barney was no longer in control of the equipment and just went with it.

Surely most versions of BLT count, right?

TOTP Confusion which tanked it in the charts.

Speaking of CONFUSION...howabout that AWEFUL!!! performance of it in the Pumped Full of Drugs gig in the Land of the Sun??

Makes me cringe every time!!

Originally posted by Aleph In a lot of versions of 586/EGG/Temptation, the sequencer starts to go nuts, abruptly stopping or launching into the wrong song. Maybe the whole 586/EGG/Temptation segues were because Barney was no longer in control of the equipment and just went with it.

Like at the Caesar's Palace in Bradford, March '84, where they spent ages during the soundcheck getting the medley set up properly, and then during the gig some part of the equipment drops out and all efforts are laid waste.

Originally posted by Solitude > Originally posted by oldmonkey LWTUA - Birmingham 83 (though I know there is a worse rendition out there, just can't remember which one b]

You might find the CLP 85 soundcheck version to be by far the worst piece of keyboard playing yet

In Gillian's defence, it may be said that Barney's synth playing on the track during the JD Malvern gig was all thumbs as well . No wonder that part of the song was faded out on the original vinyl release (the 'Malvern/Eric's' bootleg)... but now it can be heard on the newly circulating low-generation tape recording!

Which I have yet to hear......

Originally posted by oldmonkey Which I have yet to hear......

You mean you didn't get my Malvern seed off the "Winter Gardens" bootleg set? I'll send you a copy by mail, then... not to be missed, certainly not in your case (was that you shouting "play the bloody music" before the intro to Disorder kicks in?).

Just watched Lorely '93. The intro to AIIWIW was truly awful.

I've got an MP3 of that somewhere, will add it to the collection!

Gotta be "All the way" from reading89 (???...twas a festival of that period). Somehow that f*nutt Barney gets a bar out with everyone, and ploughs ahead anyway. After.... "Sorry bout that, but u gotta admit it, it was shit. But the next one's gonna be good though cos it's all done all by computers" It's impossible to trawl my brain for the better ones I know are out there. Maybe we do need a double volume here? Vol 1. To err is to be Human....Where our 4 friends demmonstrate the The Mondays weren't the only ones who could get off their faces and then fail to hold it together :-) Vol 2. Ghost in the machine.....Where the electronix mingions rebel for better working conditions. On this one my vote must surely, for sheer HAL9000ness go to the Glastonbury 81 gig were the Dr50 decided to change tempo, taking the ARP et all with it, and leaving the band behind. Think it was EGG.

I think The Happy One's idea is worthy, Going to start a poll to see if we should collect the wisdom of barney and ook.

Originally posted by mike watson > Originally posted by PAUL TROWELL> i dont think they messed it up big time.....but the totp performance of thieves was pretty horrible

And the TOTP performance of Blue Monday where they looked like they'd wandered in off the street.

After that I think BM went down the charts!

WAsn't a bad performance but it was funny the way bernard was rolling his eyes everwhere as if he was high or something lol.

Originally posted by Adam R > Originally posted by mike watson> > > > Originally posted by PAUL TROWELL> > i dont think they messed it up big time.....but the totp performance of thieves was pretty horrible>

And the TOTP performance of Blue Monday where they looked like they'd wandered in off the street.

After that I think BM went down the charts!

WAsn't a bad performance but it was funny the way bernard was rolling his eyes everwhere as if he was high or something lol.

"As if"? I think it took all his remaining sober energy to refrain from peppering the lyrics with words like "twat" and "cock" THAT would've been a classic TOTP moment, eh?

Originally posted by Steve Campbell Gotta be "All the way" from reading89 (???...twas a festival of that period).Somehow that f*nutt Barney gets a bar out with everyone, and ploughs ahead anyway.After...."Sorry bout that, but u gotta admit it, it was shit. But the next one's gonna be good though cos it's all done all by computers"

Ah, thats Glasgow '89. 1st NO gig I went to so that performance sticks in your head somewhat!

Ahhh yes, the SECC, wasn't that the gig where hooky practically had to be dragged off at the end, cos he just stood there beating the basline to fine time out, with Audience accompaniment. Maybe that was Birmingham, I bought both together. The thing that makes the state of "all the way" all the better is that, by and large, it was a brilliant gig.

I did both the SECC and NEC gigs, that was the end of an era, they were then shite for years.

Oh dear, another one.

Having just downloaded it via easytree.or

New Order - Soundcheck 1986

The keyboard playing on LWTUA, cringeworthy, maybe it was a roadie...

lots of poor performances mentioned here....both at gigs and on tv shows.

my memory bank is pretty poor but i seem to remember them playing a show called the roxy and i think this was half decent...i think it was around the time of true faith.

That was the Magic of New Order live;

Different sets Different words No encore No Auto Cue New Tracks Pernod on Barney's Amp

Those days are gone I'm afraid