Best/worst New Order lyrics/lines ever?

As a songwriter Bernard is a genius, but as a lyricist... well... not so much. He's no Ian Curtis in that department. (In every interview I've seen he always says that he has the biggest problems with the lyrics.)

What comes to mind for you guys?

I'll nominate "Sooner Than You Think" as especially egregious, and particularly:

Your country is a wonderful place, It pales my England into disgrace. To buy a drink there is so much more reasonable, I think I'll go there when it gets seasonable.

What lines/songs stand out to you guys in that regard?

And, on the flip-side, what songs do you think have above average lyrics?

I think "Waiting For the Siren's Call" is one of his better songs lyrically.

The best and the worst comes from "Crystal":

Here comes love, it's like honey , you can't buy it with money.

Fighting over what that line meant defined an entire era of my relationship with an ex. She was of the "He's talking about the price of honey" camp. I pointed out the pause after "honey" and the implication that love was priceless. This went on for years.

Yes, but we can't all be blessed in all parts of life. I think he has done just fine throughout the years but I can't forgive him for Krafty, which makes me cringe every time.

As for Crystal, it's perfectly obvious that he is referring to love being priceless. Anyone who thinks otherwise is criminally insane.

"And it cuts your life, like a broken knife"

The beginning of Everyone Everywhere (cant be arsed to type it all out)

And Id like to spare a mention for "We put the fags in the car and we felt much better, She wants to drive but I wouldnt let her" Which proved that TO2 can write lyrics too!

I love the piss off line in your silent face and the beginning part of 'every second counts' 'i think you r a pig u shld b in a zoo' which makes me laugh like bernard.also love the lyrics to 'mr disco'.not many lyrics i really dislike of NO's but the bit in fine time about 'loving a girl with all her own teeth' is a bit strange. I don't envy bernard writing lyrics.i would HATE 2 do it myself.

YSF is just genius, meaningless poetry.

Slow Jam has to be one of the worst - "see that bird it's flown too high, pretty soon it will be tierd" terrible, but funy at the same time.

Having tried to write lyrics myself, I agree it's bloody hard work, and only a hand full of people would ever listen to mine!

I find his clunky lyrics really endearing, some of them are laughable though.

Two that really make me laugh are from side projects. On If You've Got Love I think he sings, "if it was up to you i would leave you, but it isn't, i believe you"

but the worst for me is from miracle cure (the melody is great as ever) when he sings, "one day, later, i started to shave, but in the mirror, lay a stranger, who I did not know"

Worst -

Rock the shack, rock the shack, rock the shack, rock the shack Yeah that's the way it is

Best -

I feel so extraordinary Something's got a hold on me I get this feeling I'm in motion A sudden sense of liberty

Fine Time

Baby, you know I've made a lot of cool chicks, But I haven't met a girl with all her own teeth

love the Barry White tongue in cheek, or should that be... ah herm!!!

Gene wrote: "And it cuts your life, like a broken knife"

The beginning of Everyone Everywhere (cant be arsed to type it all out)

And Id like to spare a mention for "We put the fags in the car and we felt much better, She wants to drive but I wouldnt let her" Which proved that TO2 can write lyrics too!

Movin' On - great song, but I think the lyric there is "We put the Bags in the car and we felt much better" - Still haven't figured out the chorus

CuanaD - D-plus wrote:

Gene wrote: " And Id like to spare a mention for "We put the fags in the car and we felt much better, She wants to drive but I wouldnt let her" Which proved that TO2 can write lyrics too!

Movin' On - great song, but I think the lyric there is "We put the Bags in the car and we felt much better" - Still haven't figured out the chorus

Aw BOLLOCKS!!! 17 years thinking it was 'fags'.

Thats taken a bit of the shine off that actually, theres not enough songs about fags.

Jed Stephens wrote: Slow Jam has to be one of the worst - "see that bird it's flown too high, pretty soon it will be tierd" terrible, but funy at the same time.

Yep, that whole song is brilliant in this regard.

The afternoon was very clear The sun was beating down on me I got thirsty for a beer That I had to go to sea The sea was very rough It made me feel sick But I like that kind of stuff It beats arithmetic.

Gene wrote:

CuanaD - D-plus wrote:

Gene wrote: " And Id like to spare a mention for "We put the fags in the car and we felt much better, She wants to drive but I wouldnt let her" Which proved that TO2 can write lyrics too!

Movin' On - great song, but I think the lyric there is "We put the Bags in the car and we felt much better" - Still haven't figured out the chorus

Aw BOLLOCKS!!! 17 years thinking it was 'fags'.

Thats taken a bit of the shine off that actually, theres not enough songs about fags.

Scissor sisters have done loads of songs about fags

Jed Stephens wrote:

Scissor sisters have done loads of songs about fags

I'll take your word for that.

Agree with u Ger Boy.Love those lyrics 2 true faith. Must also mention 'love vigilantes' fantastic lyrics there!

Bernards lyrics for Blue Monday, True Faith, The Perfect Kiss, Bizarre Love Triangle, True Faith, EGG, Vanishing Point, All the Way, Dream Attack, Technique in general, Regret, RIAD, Special, Crystal (yes even Crystal), HTS, WFTSC, Turn, and even Krafty, are all pretty great.

CuanaD - D-plus wrote:

Movin' On - great song, but I think the lyric there is "We put the Bags in the car and we felt much better" - Still haven't figured out the chorus

I always thought it was BATS..... as in furry winged mammals. After all, wasn't Gillian styled as a GOTH at one point?

dreams never end was cool (did he write the words for that?) and subculture

worst true faith - I feel so extraordinareeeeeeeeeeee

Best lyrics...hmm so many...ALL DAY LONG,BIZARRE LOVE TRIANGLE,TRUE FAITH,LONESOME TONIGHT

Worst...got to be KRAFTY and SHELLSHOCK

I think there are plenty of examples of dodgy lyrics on the second Electronic album but my favourite is on A New Religon which is a b-side from that time.

"It happens all the time,except when your around Why do some people shine,while others search the ground It's like walking in the snow,the rain falls then we grow".

Prozac has a lot to answer for..!

Best: Love is found in the east and west When love is at home its the best Love isthe cure for every evil Love is the air that supports the eagle

TLU

Hey Shadow I agree - great lyrics in a fab song!

shazzer wrote: dreams never end was cool (did he write the words for that?)

I'd put money on Hooky having written most or all of that one.

i suppose it's absurd to take the lyrics out of context of the melody and rhythm, but I always enjoyed

Bolts from above hit the people down below/People in this world, we have no place to go

because by that stage of the song I'm usually delirious from its sheer momentum.

Worst has to be anything from "Subculture".

now I like the words to subculture

It wouldnt be New Order without the "bad" lyrics. And I give it a bit of "that" because I wouldnt consider them bad anyway. Take Thats lyrics are bad, the New Order lyrics which make you roll your eyes are just part of it, like Hookys bass etc. Whichever ropey lyric you think of Bernard is clearly capable of something better but they were left in because I suppose he liked them (or he had something better to do than spend days pondering an alternative).

nobody has mentioned Dracula's Castle?

But you came in the night And took my heart To Dracula’s castle in the dark

far far worse than Rock the Shack.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

but, and like others have said, i actually dig some of his 'bad' lyrics (subculture, shellshock, every little counts)

what i hate more are the lyrics to songs like Liar, Young Offender, Turn My Way, etc that are just bland and forgotten.

Shazzer u say u like the words to Subculture.So do i! Its a gr8 song!

Joanne Bailey wrote: Shazzer u say u like the words to Subculture.So do i! Its a gr8 song!

One of my favorities. Lyrics sounds very "Lou Reedy"!

shazzer wrote: now I like the words to subculture

Brilliant lyrics. The sort of stuff Barney would come out with changing lyrics to songs as he often did live. Except with Subculture he actually put them on record.

I often go walking in the park, when it get's late at night, as a tribute.

Vanishing Point wrote: I'll nominate "Sooner Than You Think" as especially egregious, and particularly:

Your country is a wonderful place, It pales my England into disgrace. To buy a drink there is so much more reasonable, I think I'll go there when it gets seasonable.

Having English as my non-native language I am almost always oblivious to English lyrics, safe for obvious refrains and accented lines, but the story line always eludes me.

So... you quite got me rediscover this song... Ha, I thought it was some love bollocks ('oh you know what I mean, yes you do...')

Now I really love it! But beer...? It's so lame :)

The best lyrics for me are those that I can really relate to...

Spooky Everyone Everywhere Guilty Partner 586

The worst: Thieves Like Us Dracula's Castle

Bored...

Big Mouth Julio wrote:

Joanne Bailey wrote: Shazzer u say u like the words to Subculture.So do i! Its a gr8 song!

One of my favorities. Lyrics sounds very "Lou Reedy"!

Never thought of that but they do - maybe that's why I like it.

You're hair was long, you're eyes was blue guess what i'm gonna do to you whoooop!!!

I'll have to side with the verse in "Slow Jam" for the worst - but the best for me is the chorus in "All The Way"

"It takes years to find the nerve to be apart from what you've done To find the truth inside yourself and not depend on anyone"

cranelane wrote: I think there are plenty of examples of dodgy lyrics on the second Electronic album but my favourite is on Imitation Of Life which is a b-side from that time.

"It happens all the time,except when your around Why do some people shine,while others search the ground It's like walking in the snow,the rain falls then we grow".

Prozac has a lot to answer for..!

That's "A New Relgion" and I love that song

It's funny Get Ready is in my top 3 New Order albums but has some of the worst lyrics Barneys ever penned.

"But I like that kind of stuff... it beats arithmetic"

"You'd never guess the things that I do... I'd have the devil round for tea"

"The ship has landed, it's time to run, the crew are stranded"

However, some lyrics are really good.

"What am I gonna do? I feel like I'm on fire" I think is a great opening lyric on Vicious Streak

"There on the floor, 30 years or more, he doesn't care, he just wants to score" from Close Range is another good one.

I was thirsty for a beer

and

Where did it all go wrong, house music all night long.

Are two lines off GR that always stood out for me.

Hey leefact I love those lyrics 2 all the way.however my fave lyrics/song on technique is mr disco: I can't find my piece of mind, because I need u with me all of the time, I used 2 think about u nite and day, I used 2 feel what language cannot say'. Now that is fucking brilliant!

"And the sound in my head goes round and round Like a drunk on the stairs who just fell down" Brutal and; "Getting up at midnight Just to watch a game Climbing up a street light Sitting on a claim" Such a Good Thing - the worst New Order song ever, that should never have been released. However, like many on this thread I find the dodgy/cringy lyrics endearing and part of NO's flawed charm

I cant be owned by no one But I want to be with you I can't be owned by noone What am I supposed to do

I can't see the sense in your leaving All I need is your love to believe in

Don't look into the sun It's not for me or anyone To steal the light out of the sky Is it really such a sin 'Cause if it is then I'll give in I can't live without your love

I always liked the lyrics of Reality. Even though (or maybe because) I always hear Barney sing "Can't you see there's nothing in your head, and you fart is on vacation".

Worst have to be Slow Jam with the clear - beer, sick - arithmatic and home - monochrome. Still a great song. NO wouldn't be NO without some dodgy lyrics. BL has some too ("So hit the road Jack").

Pacorosssco i love the lyrics u quoted.technique is full of gems

Thank you , I agree with you,strongest lyrics of all albums for me here a few more of mine. what are yours?

Grow up children, don't you suffer At the hands of one another If you like a sleeping demon Listen can you hear him weeping Tears of joy and tears of sorrow He buys love to sell tomorrow

My life ain't no holiday I've been through the point of no return I've seen what a man can do I've seen all the hate of a woman too

The picture you see is no portait of me It's too real to be shown to someone I don't know

And it's driving me wild

It makes me act like a child

Pacorosssco wrote: Thank you , I agree with you,strongest lyrics of all albums for me here a few more of mine. what are yours?

Grow up children, don't you suffer At the hands of one another If you like a sleeping demon Listen can you hear him weeping Tears of joy and tears of sorrow He buys love to sell tomorrow

My life ain't no holiday I've been through the point of no return I've seen what a man can do I've seen all the hate of a woman too

And then he throws in a perfect 'Barney-ism' with

And they gave him away,Like in "Whistle Down The WInd"

Gene wrote:

Pacorosssco wrote: Thank you , I agree with you,strongest lyrics of all albums for me here a few more of mine. what are yours?

Grow up children, don't you suffer At the hands of one another If you like a sleeping demon Listen can you hear him weeping Tears of joy and tears of sorrow He buys love to sell tomorrow

My life ain't no holiday I've been through the point of no return I've seen what a man can do I've seen all the hate of a woman too

And then he throws in a perfect 'Barney-ism' with

And they gave him away,Like in "Whistle Down The WInd"

sorry ?

Pacorosssco wrote:

Gene wrote:

Pacorosssco wrote: Thank you , I agree with you,strongest lyrics of all albums for me here a few more of mine. what are yours?

Grow up children, don't you suffer At the hands of one another If you like a sleeping demon Listen can you hear him weeping Tears of joy and tears of sorrow He buys love to sell tomorrow

My life ain't no holiday I've been through the point of no return I've seen what a man can do I've seen all the hate of a woman too

And then he throws in a perfect 'Barney-ism' with

And they gave him away,Like in "Whistle Down The WInd"

sorry ?

what is a barney-ism?

im new to this , just see lyrics/speak for what they are

Pacorosssco wrote:

Pacorosssco wrote:

Gene wrote:

Pacorosssco wrote: Thank you , I agree with you,strongest lyrics of all albums for me here a few more of mine. what are yours?

Grow up children, don't you suffer At the hands of one another If you like a sleeping demon Listen can you hear him weeping Tears of joy and tears of sorrow He buys love to sell tomorrow

My life ain't no holiday I've been through the point of no return I've seen what a man can do I've seen all the hate of a woman too

And then he throws in a perfect 'Barney-ism' with

And they gave him away,Like in "Whistle Down The WInd"

sorry ?

what is a barney-ism?

im new to this , just see lyrics/speak for what they are

These are Barney-isms

Blue Monday altered lyrics Paradise Garage NY 07 Jul 83

How does it it feel, to be treated in front of a cunt like you (getting back at some front row heckler, it sounds like) ...thought I heard you (falseto) speak... Intro to Confusion Tower Ballroom Birmingham 09 May 83

PH: "I'm getting paid for it, though..." (cheering) BS: "Okay, this next one involves use of a Sequential Circuits ten thousand note memory sequencer..." Of course it messes up, leaving Bernard mumbling something unintelligable but I suspect not pleasant.

I can't 100% vouch for what I'm hearing, but Bernard's improvising lyrics on Confusion in a confusing fashion...

"Hiding your feelings You told me you care But you think the cost Stop laughing in bed

Your tits are so big They're meant to be rare[?] Your nipples are for sucking [sounds like: 'Tearing my rod', but isn't]"

Pacorosssco wrote:

what is a barney-ism?

Its how I describe those moments where Barney strays from lyrical majesty to 'did he just sing that?'

worst for me have been...and still are from SOTN

"From my home I travel far I drove in my stolen car When it broke down, I kissed the ground 'Cause I don't kiss when you're around"

WTF?

Best are too many to mention...

Leave Me Alone:

You get these words wrong I just smile

But from my head to my toes From my knees to my eyes Everytime I watch the sky For these last few days leave me alone But for these last few days leave me alone Leave me alone Leave me alone

Your Silent Face:

Sound formed in a vacuum May seem a waste of time It's always been just the same No hearing or breathing No movement, no lyrics Just nothing

The sign that leads the way The path we can not take You've caught me at a bad time So why don't you piss off

Touched by the Hand of God:

I was standing by the ocean when I saw your face I couldn't look at you I guess you knew it but I never realised that we were through And now I'm down here all alone with every feeling that I own you can't take that away And with every breath we take and the illusions we create will come to you someday

And I was touched by the hand of God I never knew it, but of course I was

I never hoped to do the things in this world I wanted to Because everything I own, it belongs to you I've never looked at you in a sexual way in my life before And I've never woken up like this so desperately before

And I was touched by the hand of God I never knew it, but of course I was

I love Bernard's lyrics all round to be honest. But I have to say that his lyrics for Blue Monday are incredible! The way he sings them as well just adds to the effect of the words. :)

"How does it feel to treat me like you do?" etc

"Maybe I've forgotten the name and the address Of everyone I've ever known It's nothing I regret"

song about old age

Best is probably something like Guilty Partner. It is coherent for a start!

Worst is when Barney does that rapping shit that he thought was fashionable for about 5 minutes in the nineties.

Prime example: Times Change...

In a manger like Christ I lay Yellow fever, yellow hay

Fucking hell - it makes me shudder just thinking about it.