THIS WEEK'S little CRYPTIC TEASER........

I've noticed that a lot of the recent topics posted have deviated somewhat from all things New Order, so allow me just to digress likewise and set you all a little brain-tickler that I hope will stimulate the circuitry in your collective grey matter. If anyone can give me the correct answer to this lateral-thinking poser by this Thursday 25th October, I will personally send them a rare (as in hard to get hold of) 12-inch single from my lovingly-tended Factory collection as a prize in return for their smart-arsedness. (no band or title - it's a surprise).

So, get yer thinking gear on and chew on exactly what this equation means:

"FIRST = NEARLY ALWAYS LAST = TRUE?"

Remember, I must have a correct answer by Thursday otherwise the prize gets forfeited......see ya there.

I know it looks hard, but it isn't, honestly - so keep tryin'.
Clues will be dropped along the way to help you out a bit!!

I'm not sure this one is for the non english speaking, I mean the ones that doesn't have English as their first language.

Only makes me feel of Sisters of Mercy "First And Last And Always"

Originally posted by Geoff The Klump I'm not sure this one is for the non english speaking, I mean the ones that doesn't have English as their first language.Only makes me feel of Sisters of Mercy "First And Last And Always"

Good try Geoffroy, but not the right answer!

martin, this brain teaser is just going to make my insomnia worse.

Makes me think of the religious thread...

The first will be the last... Is it true ?

False. 'cos if yer first yer can't be nearly always last can yer?

my brain hurts

How about the first to enter is the last to leave? or sumfink.... ouch. Brain pains...

Originally posted by Geoff The Klump I'm not sure this one is for the non english speaking, I mean the ones that doesn't have English as their first language.Only makes me feel of Sisters of Mercy "First And Last And Always"

Dont worry Geoff, language-bias doesn't come into it - it's more or less the same principle/idea no matter what country you live in.....now there's a clue for you all: UNIVERSALITY.... now think on! Think on!!

Oh, it's the last time Oh, it's the last time Oh, it's the last time Oh, it's the last time Oh, it's the last time Oh, I've never met anyone quite like you before Oh no, I've never met anyone quite like you before

Sometimes he says first, but usually it's last. Are you referring to the lyrics of Temptation?

Sounds good to me. Think you're onto a winner there.

Originally posted by The Keeper Of The Major Key Sounds good to me. Think you're onto a winner there.

Don't think so : where does the 'True' fit in.

And, according to the original post from Martin, it's not NO-related.

Originally posted by Robert Roy Oh, it's the last timeOh, it's the last timeOh, it's the last timeOh, it's the last timeOh, it's the last timeOh, I've never met anyone quite like you beforeOh no, I've never met anyone quite like you beforeSometimes he says first, but usually it's last. Are you referring to the lyrics of Temptation?

Blimey, Robert, that's a pretty credible attempt you know.......but unfortunately still not the correct one..... the answer is actually nowhere near as enigmatic as you may think......

Right, since we've only got one more day left before i decide what to do , I shall give you one further little clue:

It's something you will all have come across on a weekly basis whenever you may happen to tune into your TV or radio.

Now , if you haven't got it by now, I really don't know what i should suggest next to make it any easier - i've practically answered the damn thing for yer!!!!

Commercials? I dunno, can't make sense of it myself

No, wait a minute.....the station ID? You know, "this is so and so radio/tv station". Am I close?

In reply to your two posts Tabsy....are you close? Sorry. Not a bean. But please don't give up everybody...If I can't have the pleasure of sending oneof you guys a special rare Factory Records collectors item, my life won't be worth living.....

Keep trying. Next clue follows after the next four posts..... be there!

Ah I was wrong. But here was my reasoning (for the second one)

1. Station ID is usually the first thing they broadcast on the air

2. Station ID is also the last thing they broadcast (along with a cheesy national anthem done to muzak, though the local college station closes with Belle and Sebastian's "Judy Is A Dick Slap")

3. Unless they're fucking with you, the station ID is always true.

Oh well (sob sob)

Is it the weather forecast ?

Or more simply, the news ?

THE HIT PARADE COUNTDOWN

No....No.....No.....No..... none of these.... perleeeeze.

I had a dream the other day....it featured myself walking down a long white corridor with a tiger mask over my face. I got to the door at the far end and opened it. Once inside, a woman with her back turned to me got up to welcome me to the house. Her face looked really familiar. Then it dawned on me as to who she was... ...a really famous, but now deceased, singer from the US of A.....but I'm damned if I'm going to reveal her identity to you until you get some more of your guesses posted in pronto....

.....so....skates on....LET'S GET THIS MOVIN' UP A GEAR!!!!

Erm, the lottery ? Well, maybe it's not that universal... On a weekly basis said Martin, I guess that must have its importance.

It's not Barry White ("My First, My Last, My Everything"), he's a man and still alive. There are some other possibilities left:

1. Janis Joplin
2. Mama Cass
3. Selena
4. Patty Smyth (her career's dead, anyways)
5. Madonna (same as Smyth, but the dream sounds like "Like A Virign video)
6. Tammy Wynette
7. Karen Carpenter

That's about all I got

Originally posted by Taboo # 7 It's not Barry White ("My First, My Last, My Everything"), he's a man and still alive. There are some other possibilities left:1. Janis Joplin2. Mama Cass3. Selena4. Patty Smyth (her career's dead, anyways)5. Madonna (same as Smyth, but the dream sounds like "Like A Virign video)6. Tammy Wynette7. Karen CarpenterWhen you suggested number 7, #7, were you implying that was the answer to the original riddle or the identity of the woman in my dream the other night?That's about all I got

Originally posted by Taboo # 7 It's not Barry White ("My First, My Last, My Everything"), he's a man and still alive. There are some other possibilities left:1. Janis Joplin2. Mama Cass3. Selena4. Patty Smyth (her career's dead, anyways)5. Madonna (same as Smyth, but the dream sounds like "Like A Virign video)6. Tammy Wynette7. Karen CarpenterThat's about all I got

[SORRY - BADLY EDITED COCK-UP THERE!!!] When you suggested number 7, #7, were you implying that was the answer to the original riddle or the identity of the woman in my dream the other night?

The woman, but I'll be more than happy to go with "riddle" if that's the correct answer.

Originally posted by Taboo # 7 The woman, but I'll be more than happy to go with "riddle" if that's the correct answer.

Well, Taboo......

...it seems.....

....that......

.....you're.......

:p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p

........absolutely.........

...................

...................

...................

...................

.........................

.........................

What, man, what?

.........................

..........CORRECT !!!!!!!..........

......................... BUT!! BEFORE YOU GO ANY FURTHER!!!!

Hot damn! I added T.W. at the last minute (remembered her work with.....crap, can't remember who, but it's so wacky)

Let's tell Tabsy what he wins, Bob!

........................the bad news it, you may have got that little bit right.......

but that WAS the correct identity of the mystery woman in my dream....

                    KAREN 

                             CARPENTER 

                                         it     was!!

But, still, this isn't the answer to the teaser proper...... you've still got to get that one right yet!!

(sorry!!)

........................the bad news it, you may have got that little bit right.......

but that WAS the correct identity of the mystery woman in my dream....

                    KAREN 

                             CARPENTER 

                                         it     was!!

Anyway. Here's another, hopefully more helpful ,clue: you will find many books on a subject such as this: IN THE ENTERTAINMENT SECTION!!!!!!

ha ha ha ha!! NOW HURRY UP - YOU'VE ONLY GOT 22 HOURS LEFT TO GET IT!!

Oh, thought you meant Tammy Wynette (but Karen Carpenter, why you dreaming about her?)

What more can I do, man? Oh fuck, I give up

Originally posted by Taboo # 7 Oh, thought you meant Tammy Wynette (but Karen Carpenter, why you dreaming about her?)What more can I do, man? Oh fuck, I give up

No real reason for it....you know how inconsequential and random certain dreams are....

...anyway, I wouldn't give in just yet .....I mean, do you wanna get your hands on an ULTRA RARE Factory Record Collector's Item or not?? Keep postin - the best awaits those who try hardest!!

Oy, the games you play...

Okay, entertainment section, let's see 1.Celbebrity memiors 2.Top 40 Hit Parades 3.Tv Show fan books 4.Beatles books (believe me, there's a LOT of those) 5."How they Wrote it" collections (Bowie, Beatles, Floyd) 6.Histories of Rock

Tell me if I hit something...

err I have to give this a try.. or else I'll go mad...

One-hit-wonders? They used to be first, now they're last and you may hear them on tv or radio... ehm, maybe not.

I tried anyway.

I've got it: Charts!!

I've got it: Charts!!

I think you're right, King, but I think martin went to bed, so we might have to wait

Charts...wish I'd thought of that!

Tabsy, actually you said top40 before me. I just didn't notice it before I replied. Sorry. You are the winner of course, should it be the right answer.

IF YA GAN FURTHER UP, YOU'LL FIND MY REPLY WAS FIRST.

Originally posted by Ian&nbspShimmin IF YA GAN FURTHER UP, YOU'LL FIND MY REPLY WAS FIRST.

Point taken, Ian the shimmering neon light, you were there first.

And you do sound just like Jimmy Nail this week. (loud and scary)

Originally posted by King of Nothing > Originally posted by Ian Shimmin> IF YA GAN FURTHER UP, YOU'LL FIND MY REPLY WAS FIRST.

Point taken, Ian the shimmering neon light, you were there first.

And you do sound just like Jimmy Nail this week. (loud and scary)

I must confess,I'm a cheatin bastad,what I've dun is I've getten me orginal purst and I've edited it.It originally said Sound and Vision.

I must confess,I'm a cheatin bastad,what I've dun is I've getten me orginal purst and I've edited it.It originally said Sound and Vision.

Shame, shame, shame

I knew there was something fishy going on. A Scouser pretending to be a Geordie... What a giveaway.

HI FOLKS!! I'M BACK sorry about being away for most of the day - I could'nt get out of work fast enough so once again a thousand apologies for keepin you waiting. It looks as if theres been an inetersting development in your answers since I last posted.....Hmmmm. And...some of you may be heartened to hear that you're not that far off the track!!!

BUT! And I have to be firm because I DO need the EXACT answer or interpretation of the Equation I posed you.

let's just state for the record that both Maria and King of Nothing are BY FAR the warmest / closest to cracking it.

Now....a rush and a push...and that 12" might yet still be yours!!!!! GET TO IT!!

FASTEST ONE TO THE FINISHING LINE WINS!!!!!!!

Oh, just a quick tip: the winning answer must offer me as near an explanation of the Equation as possible:

you HAVE TO tell me what the meaning of this teaser is. A one-word answer won't do. You have to explain exactly what you think it actually means, got that??

Well, let me try this one :

FIRST bands/artists in our hearts, the most pioneering are most of the time low rated in the charts and don't sell shit. Well, is it always TRUE ?

I have an intuition this is not the right answer but it's a nice interpretation, don't you think ?

Well, here's what I got (I think maybe, just maybe....)

1. Something to do with Spandau Ballet's one hit (in the US at least), called "True" of course. It was their first and last hit, but doesn't really relate to anything in "entertainment section of a bookstore unless one of the band members wrote a memoir

2. Any number of "Rolling Stone Guides to Rock" or other such books that feature a list of an artist's first album/hit right thru their last.

That's the best I can do

Good tries Geoff and Mister 7, but I still have to say that KON and Maria are the closest we have yet to getting the gist of it right....all they need to do now is to post in and EXPLAIN in what way they think it has something to do with the charts.....

not a "greatest one-hit wonders charts book" is it? (My god, I'm so close I can smell it)

First appearance is nearly always the last time it's that high?

Personally, I think Patrick has the most intersting solution here... Is it the right one ?

By the way, Patsy, did you get my message in that other thread about the email address ?

Yes, I did, thanks, Klumpy, and I answered there that tomorrow would be fine.

Originally posted by Patrick First appearance is nearly always the last time it's that high?

Sorry Patrick, that's not it, try again....

....You've only I hour left before midnight here in Britain, so I'm not sure if I should give you guys a bit more time to fathom this out - maybe then by tomorrow you may actually - gasp! - come up with the CORRECT explanation. Now why aren't any other peole trying their hand at this thread?? Are you scared or something??

COME ON! Come and have a go if you think you're hard enough!!!!!!!!!

I dunno, I give up, but before I go, a few last desperate guesses

1.Love Will Tear Us Apart, JD--their only real dent in the American market (as far as I can remember), and their last. The title's true in regards to a doomed relationship

2.Top 40 Lists of hit songs

Ah shit, I don't know. You got me, Martin...

i'm not scared i'm just stupid. and my brain hurts too much to think.

Originally posted by Taboo # 7 I dunno, I give up, but before I go, a few last desperate guesses1.Love Will Tear Us Apart, JD--their only real dent in the American market (as far as I can remember), and their last. The title's true in regards to a doomed relationship2.Top 40 Lists of hit songsAh shit, I don't know. You got me, Martin...

Don't be such a lightweight Mister #7!! You know you can do it!! Your no. 2 guess is heading in the right direction...but for goodness's sake, can you just be that little more specific, huh?? I just can't believe that no one can think of it... ...the explanation is so straightforward that it's untrue!!!!

Originally posted by Sarah Middle i'm not scared i'm just stupid. and my brain hurts too much to think.

Okay, so here's another clue to help you...let's hope you can conquer this one Sarah,, I'm counting on you to shock me by coming out with the correct explanation....seeing as the other wusses couldn't hack it!!!

The clue (one word only, however, as AN EXAMPLE thereof) is: 'RADIOHEAD'

Let's see..."Radiohead" (as an example)...........

Little more help, Martin (if you please)

now i'm even more confused. i thought it had something to do with one-hit wonders. do you actually expect anyone to get the right answer? is there a right answer or are you just taking the piss and trying to waste people's valuable time and brain power. please....more clues!

Originally posted by Taboo # 7 Let's see..."Radiohead" (as an example)...........Little more help, Martin (if you please)

Okayyyyy: Five guys from Oxford, England. Thom Yorke. Jonny Greenwood. Colin Greenwood. Ed O'Brien. Phil Selway. Massively successful band. Worldwide perhaps. How?

Originally posted by Sarah Middle now i'm even more confused. i thought it had something to do with one-hit wonders. do you actually expect anyone to get the right answer? is there a right answer or are you just taking the piss and trying to waste people's valuable time and brain power. please....more clues!

No, Sarah, honestly...I'm not taking the piss or wasting your time (depends what wasting your time means...I seem to spend a lot of hours posting here, like everyone else so that kind of qualifies as wasting ones time).

If you look at the clue I just posted above, it's almost dammit as near as I have got to almost revealing the explanation in the answer!!!

STOP POST!!! (a bit like stop press but, only, this isn't a newspaper, ha ha)

Before we go any further I'd just like to say that this competition is now extended for another day - possibly to the Saturday - as I'm sure many of you will still be rattling your brains and getting insomniac trying to think of the answer. Then again, I may just be tempting fate as a few of you may have given up - OR, BETTER STILL, MAY HAVE COME UP WITH THE CORRECT SOLUTION BY THEN!!!

martin, i think you may have overestimated our intelligence...anyway heres my pretty lame attempt at an answer. radiohead are an example of an overrated band that always seem to do very well in those "100 greatest albums" ever type lists you get in q magazine or mojo. in the lists you often find the results printed in reverse order, so the first album named will nearly alwats be the last one...im totally clutching at straws here..and of course cos the lists are often voted for by the public we have to wonder whether they are a "true?" reflection of the album`s merit.. how far off the mark am i?

As it something to do with the fact that Radiohead was coldly recieved in their homeland in the beginning ?

Well, I'm not getting anywhere, here ?

Could it be 'last' as in 'lasting' ?

Fuck me, I even wrote down the clues to help me think.

Believe me, Martin, it's not because of the prize : these kind of riddles drive me crazy but I quite like it.

Originally posted by velocity girl martin, i think you may have overestimated our intelligence...anyway heres my pretty lame attempt at an answer.radiohead are an example of an overrated band that always seem to do very well in those "100 greatest albums" ever type lists you get in q magazine or mojo. in the lists you often find the results printed in reverse order, so the first album named will nearly alwats be the last one...im totally clutching at straws here..and of course cos the lists are often voted for by the public we have to wonder whether they are a "true?" reflection of the album`s merit..how far off the mark am i?

Oh my God!!! Read back at what you've just written there VG....I mean CAREFULLY!!......concealed somewhere amongst that paragraph, you have, how shall I say it....?, virtually got it tapped. Yes Really! But where? Can you tell me again please......jeezus, Sarah, Klumpy and Tabsy et al will be really peeved if you hit bullseye next post!!!

Originally posted by Geoff The Klump Believe me, Martin, it's not because of the prize : these kind of riddles drive me crazy but I quite like it.

Klumpy, your frankness is so endearing - sado-masochistic to the very last. Just like the rest of us! By the way, have you SEEN Velocity Girl's last attempt???!!!!

i think i'll sleep on it.

what? um critically overrated bands?..the blind(the critics) leading the blind (the record buying public)... peoples bands that the critics hate... the saviours of rock n roll; the nme seems to have a different one every week whom they claim to be the first great group of the millenium and the y say things like "youll never need to listen to another band again".. i dont know :(..and im a bit pissed too

a band thats come first in a 100 greatest albums poll? didnt radioheads "ok computer" beat "revolver" in some recent poll

Tell me if I'm right on this, Martin :

You said 2 things : universality and weekly (basis).

I guess these 2 things must have their importance.

I mean you don't come across best albums ever on a weekly basis, let alone on radio and television.

Here's someone who really pays attention to your clues or di I pay too much attention to those ?

Originally posted by velocity girl what? um critically overrated bands?..the blind(the critics) leading the blind (the record buying public)...peoples bands that the critics hate...the saviours of rock n roll; the nme seems to have a different one every week whom they claim to be the first great group of the millenium and the y say things like "youll never need to listen to another band again"..i dont know :(..and im a bit pissed too

No No No!!! You Know You Can Do It!! Just take the time to look back at what you've written....it's almost word for word even - save for a key bit missing - if you don't, one of the others may sneak up whilst you're not looking and run off with your prized theory!!

Originally posted by Geoff The Klump Tell me if I'm right on this, Martin :You said 2 things : universality and weekly (basis).I guess these 2 things must have their importance.I mean you don't come across best albums ever on a weekly basis, let alone on radio and television.Here's someone who really pays attention to your clues or di I pay too much attention to those ?

If you take a look at the words in Velocity Girl's last but two posting, then you can try and fathom out what the answer is so close to being. That's all I'm prepared to say at this point, seeing as we are all virtually on the threshold of cracking it but none of you are making that little extra effort to push that bit harder!!! OoooH...sorry to sound so harsh!

martin i just cant see it..im a bit of an insomniac so i`ll probably be here for some time....ok another guess is it something to do with the rundown aspect of these lists/charts?

Originally posted by Sarah Middle i think i'll sleep on it.

Me too, I reckon, this isn't supposed to be quite so difficult, but it seems like it is!!

This time tomorrow, I'm counting on at least two of you to have the correct explanation: Velocity Girl is the closest one yet to clinching it..... So let's have the right answer tomorrow night.
I'm quite confident that someone will get it....that's how much faith I have in you!!! Nite nite!! … :sleepy:

Martin, you just can't say that : I try fucking hard while I should be in my bed now (it's an hour later here) !

martin u are cruel. now i`ll not sleep a wink..

I might have it...

The 1st in the critic's polls are nearly always last in the charts. True ? Well there's exceptions : Radiohead : press darlings and huge sellers.

i think you`re right there geoff...

Well, I'm not sure, Velocity Girl.

Of course, this sounds right but, from the clues Martin gave, I've got the impression it should be even more obvious.

This is as hard as figuring out what the lazy guy said in Radiohead's Just video

Hi folks....! Me again....sorry about the tardiness - my job really does come first and with the amount of overtime I'm putting in, I should be able to buy my own MP3 player and start up/downloading all the goodies you guys never stop bangin' on about.....

BUT! Let's get down to the nitty gritty.... I was rally hoping some of you would have refined your answer to something approaching 100% by now. I mean..... Really!! You are slacking!! velocity girl was doing SO well and then you just threw in the towel! Geoff 's explanation is pretty close but sadly it's in the wrong context.

If I push this any further I may end up explaining the answer to you, but as I secretly enjoy being a sadist (in a NICE kind of way, of course!) I shall just oil the wheels of expectation and give you just one more little clue (until the next one that is, obviously....sigh....)

A few of you mention the charts in your answers: well this is basically SO DAMN NEAR THE ANSWER I'm surprised and shocked at your apparent unwillingness to explain your perceived theory in more detail. If you take the charts and think about why charts exist the way they do, then perhaps you will come closer to knowing what it is I'm after getting out of you.....is that any clearer????

I know I'm probably disqualified for cheating, but is it the opposite way around i.e the first song played is the last one on the list? q.e.d. first=almost always last =true

Originally posted by Ian Shimmin I know I'm probably disqualified for cheating, but is it the opposite way around i.e the first song played is the last one on the list?q.e.d. first=almost always last =true

IAN YOU ARE SO CLOSE.......!!! SO CLOSE!!!!

WHAT ABOUT THE REST OF YOU HUH?? AREN'T YOU GONNA FIGHT FOR THE TITLE OF TRIVIA KING????!!!

Could it be that the equation is a question?

first = nearly always last = true?

if we applied it to charts the question would be:

why is it that we nearly always use count-downs - so that the first song would appear to be the last?

Damn, this sucks... I thought I was far off with my first guess, so I didn't even bother thinking about it anymore...

Answer me, why won't you answer me...

I'm going crazy here...

Maybe it's got to do with the news or something... The first thing they tell you is what happened last - the latest news.. Is that true? No I'm getting colder, I can feel it...

Originally posted by Sophisticated (Lady) Could it be that the equation is a question?first = nearly always last = true?if we applied it to charts the question would be:why is it that we nearly always use count-downs - so that the first song would appear to be the last?

---

Hey! that was very good attempt! If that was what was on my mind when I set the teaser then you would be the winner no contest!..... Come to think of it - I never looked at it like that!! Perhaps you should be runner up! Befor e I've even announced a winner yet!!! GOOD TRY ANYWAY!! Damn, this sucks... I thought I was far off with my first guess, so I didn't even bother thinking about it anymore...

Originally posted by Sophisticated (Lady) Could it be that the equation is a question?first = nearly always last = true?if we applied it to charts the question would be:why is it that we nearly always use count-downs - so that the first song would appear to be the last?

---

Hey! that was very good attempt! If that was what was on my mind when I set the teaser then you would be the winner no contest!..... Come to think of it - I never looked at it like that!! Perhaps you should be runner up! Befor e I've even announced a winner yet!!! GOOD TRY ANYWAY!! Damn, this sucks... I thought I was far off with my first guess, so I didn't even bother thinking about it anymore...

Is it about how this webboard is constructed? The last post is always first?

Runner-up! I guess I could settle for that. :) :) Now I could go to sleep (I'm so tired), I tried my best. W

When will the answer be revealed? I *have* to know this, after all this agony and sleepnes nights... :)

You've got a vicious streak, for someone so young!

Originally posted by Sophisticated (Lady) Is it about how this webboard is constructed?The last post is always first?

HEY HEY!! .... ANOTHER PEARL OF AN ANSWER!! How do you keep coming up with these theories?? That - once again - is so close! Think on...think on..... Think "the hit parade" and you might finally be back at home base.

ehhh

the most popular (the first) is always last (the latest one, the one that we remember easiest)?

the last one is the one we remember most and therefore, the first one?

ag!

Originally posted by Sophisticated (Lady) ehhhthe most popular (the first) is always last (the latest one, the one that we remember easiest)?the last one is the one we remember most and therefore, the first one?ag!

COME ON!!! COME ON!!! COME ON!! COME ON!!! COME ON!!!!!!!!!!

I can't do any better than that!

In charts, the songs occupying the first place are most likely to be the songs that were last released?

Originally posted by Sophisticated (Lady) I can't do any better than that! In charts, the songs occupying the first place are most likely to be the songs that were last released?

OH MY GOD!!! OH MY GOD!!! OH MY GOD!!!

The songs we list as "the best" in lists over for example the 50 best songs, the last=latest, tend to be in the upper region of this list (the first).... Why? Because the songs keep getting better, or because we only remember the last thing we heard?

How complicated can it get??

Well, you're not going to tease me anymore tonight, because now, I need to get some sleep :sleepy:

:)

It isn't that complicated, surely.....typical isn't it? Just when you think someone's almost there, what do they do?? First Velocity Girl, then Sophistic........they mess it all up!! Tch Tch.....

Now, any of you across the big pond there willing to try again.?....I mean, it's only tea time at your end. Here, most of the population are probably fast asleep......

See you tomorrow then......

so the first songs to be released are nearly always the songs which come last in the charts, but are the other songs truely better? ok i'm just kind of rephrasing what other people have said, but i had to have a go, just to let you know that i'm still alive and i haven't given up.

Oh, somebody is still awake. I'd better hold guard for a little longer then....

ive just rushed back from the pub, desperately hoping someone would have solved this damn fucker of a puzzle and alas no-one has....martin,do you realise the torment youve put me through? :confused

Originally posted by velocity girl ive just rushed back from the pub, desperately hoping someone would have solved this damn fucker of a puzzle and alas no-one has....martin,do you realise the torment youve put me through? :confused

....and did you realise VG, at one point, how your good self was virtually neck and neck with Sophisticated (lady) in almost clinching the damn thing?? Honestly! I so desperately wanted one of you two to just hit the thing on the spot but then..... It wasn't supposed to drag on this long.......I'm as keen as you are for someone to win this pesky prize! Believe me!!!

im sure someones already given this answer but i can`t be arsed to read all the posts again. is the answer the no.1 position in the charts? the first record in terms of sales is the no.1 record but it is nearly always the last to be played. nearly always the last cos there have been occasions eg the sex pistols 1977, "god save the queen"..when the true no. 1 was placed at no.2 for reasons of expediency..

Originally posted by velocity girl martin i just cant see it..im a bit of an insomniac so i`ll probably be here for some time....ok another guess is it something to do with the rundown aspect of these lists/charts?

Here, VG, look at your post from yesterday once again.....

See how close you were??? huh???!! All I need is for that to be fine-tuned alittle bit and, bingo, you've got it!!

Originally posted by velocity girl im sure someones already given this answer but i can`t be arsed to read all the posts again. is the answer the no.1 position in the charts?the first record in terms of sales is the no.1 record but it is nearly always the last to be played. nearly always the last cos there have been occasions eg the sex pistols 1977, "god save the queen"..when the true no. 1 was placed at no.2 for reasons of expediency..

HISTORY IN THE MAKING IT IS THEN.........

.......Velocity Girl.........

.........it gives me........

......great..........

........pleasure..........

.......to announce...........

........that........

..........after all this agonizing wait..........

........you...........

...............have..............

................HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD !!!!!!!!!!!.........

............YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...........

:jump :jump

   :rolling:     :rolling:     :rolling:   :rolling:    :rolling:

...... WELL DONE!!!!.......YOU ARE THIS WEEK'S TEASER CHAMPION!!!!!...........

....now, aren't you glad you rushed home from the pub???

martin,i can honestly say im overjoyed: im not a dummy after all :) although it took some coaxing, didnt it? at one point i thought the torment was going to continue; the minute after i posted the answer my computer froze and i couldnt get it to restart for ages...so i thought id have another night of not knowing.. youve got to set another one..please, i love these things..

What does that have to do with Radiohead or universality ?!

You'll have to explain this further, Martin...

so now i know. i'm sure i would have got there with a few more tries. and if you hadn't confused everyone with the radiohead thing. explain please!

I feel deflated, here, a bit cheated.

As I said, Martin, I don't care about the prize, though it certainly would have been nice.

But keeping us guessing just for this...

I thought, with the solution, I would have felt 'yeah, that's right, that was so obvious !'.

Sorry mate, but next time, you better come up with something that lives up to the build up you made.

Well, my congratulations to you velocity girl!

Finally, all this is over. :) What will the prize be?

Hi everybody: I know there's almost been a bit of a mass revolt since I last posted, but if you care to read on and see how all the clues I gave you ultimately DID lead to what was the correct explanation, perhaps you wouldn't feel so exasperated with me.

Are you sitting comfortably? Lets' start backtracking then, okay?

THE CORRECT EXPLANATION WAS: NUMBER ONE HIT SINGLES ("FIRST" in the charts), usually "=NEARLY ALWAYS" get played "LAST", in most chart rundowns over the world (this is"TRUE")

Three of you got THE CHART/HIT PARADE RUNDOWN aspect of it right: Ian S., King of Nothing, and Maria - in that order! I honestly thought one of you was going to get it!! Ian was closest, followed by K.o.N.

Now, taking each clue in reverse order and how they were relevant:

1. Last and third clue was "RADIOHEAD" - merely an example of a band who got massive by having NUMBER ONE RECORDS! (So there IS a relevant link with Radiohead here, you see, despite a few of you being of the opinion that I put that in to confuse people!)

2. Second clue was "on TV or Radio weekly" - self explanatory really. Charts happen usually each week.

3. First Clue was "UNIVERSALITY" - which of course implies that charts (with the number one record always being played last) occur all over the world, not just UK/US/Europe.

So that wraps up the teaser for everybody. I hope you can take solace from this explanation.

As for Velocity Girl - well, it seems having a few at the pub has helped your powers of thinking no end!! No wonder you want me to set another one: the sound of someone buzzing from having triumphed at this last one. And as for Tabs, Geoff, Sophisticated, Maria: don't be too disheartened or upset. It was fun really (Geoff, you even admitted you enjoyed getting your brain in knots, so you can't then come back and say you didn't like the way the clues left you feeling short-changed!!), and yeah.....thanks a million for all of you patient enough to stick with it.

I honestly didn't think I would get so much interest in this thread. It seemed to attract posts like a car-crash attracts ghoulish onlookers! So thanks again......hope it was a laugh anyway!!

Now, something else, yeah? … :)

Originally posted by velocity girl martin,i can honestly say im overjoyed: im not a dummy after all :) although it took some coaxing, didnt it? at one point i thought the torment was going to continue; the minute after i posted the answer my computer froze and i couldnt get it to restart for ages...so i thought id have another night of not knowing..youve got to set another one..please, i love these things..

....do you still want to receive your prize for all this sterling (drink-fuelled!) effort?? ;)

Originally posted by Nicolas LeBlanc Martin, I can assure you there is another answer to your teaser?The number "One"if you have only 1 number, and it's the number on.. on a list.1 is the first, and it's the last, and in boolean 1 = True :DAlright, I'll shut up my mathematics skills... but I like this kind of stuff, it beats arithmetics :)Sorry, I'm bored.

Oh my god!! What planet am I on now???? Help!!

Originally posted by Martin Gray Hi everybody: I know there's almost been a bit of a mass revolt since I last posted, but if you care to read on and see how all the clues I gave you ultimately DID lead to what was the correct explanation, perhaps you wouldn't feel so exasperated with me.Are you sitting comfortably? Lets' start backtracking then, okay?THE CORRECT EXPLANATION WAS: NUMBER ONE HIT SINGLES ("FIRST" in the charts), usually "=NEARLY ALWAYS" get played "LAST", in most chart rundowns over the world (this is"TRUE")Three of you got THE CHART/HIT PARADE RUNDOWN aspect of it right: Ian S., King of Nothing, and Maria - in that order! I honestly thought one of you was going to get it!! Ian was closest, followed by K.o.N.Now, taking each clue in reverse order and how they were relevant:1) Last and third clue was "RADIOHEAD" - merely an example of a band who got massive by having NUMBER ONE RECORDS! (So there IS a relevant link with Radiohead here, you see, despite a few of you being of the opinion that I put that in to confuse people!)2) Second clue was "on TV or Radio weekly" - self explanatory really. Charts happen usually each week.3) First Clue was "UNIVERSALITY" - which of course implies that charts (with the number one record always being played last) occur all over the world, not just UK/US/Europe.So that wraps up the teaser for everybody. I hope you can take solace from this explanation.As for Velocity Girl - well, it seems having a few at the pub has helped your powers of thinking no end!! No wonder you want me to set another one: the sound of someone buzzing from having triumphed at this last one.And as for Tabs, Geoff, Sophisticated, Maria: don't be too disheartened or upset. It was fun really (Geoff, you even admitted you enjoyed getting your brain in knots, so you can't then come back and say you didn't likethe way the clues left you feeling short-changed!!), and yeah.....thanks a million for all of you patient enough to stick with it.I honestly didn't think I would get so much interest in this thread. It seemed to attract posts like a car-crash attractsghoulish onlookers! So thanks again......hope it was a laugh anyway!!Now, something else, yeah? … :)

Of course, I enjoyed it Martin, but I didn't enjoy the solution.

Because it was all a rephrasing thing, since some people got it right for quite a long time.

In fact, it lacked universality and obviousness as there was too many other possible interpretations.

You see, I thought it was some kind of 'real' equation, undisputable, not a try and guessing what you had in mind.

Anyway, I know it won't prevent me to have a go at yout next quiz, so...

Your helpful comments have been taken taken on board, Geoff, and I will happilly bear them in mind should the occasion for another brain-scrambler arises.....

Talking of the winner........where are you Velocity Girl?............there will be something sent to you in due course ......the small matter of the Factory 12" I promised ....... you seem to have gone quiet all of a sudden! You haven't deserted us already, surely, have you?

Martin, just another word.

You know, in a way, my reaction is a testimony to your teaser in the 1st place, the way I'm so disappointed shows just how much I had fun and excitement participating.

Hitchcock said a lot of things about those kind of subjects. For instance, the plot was revealed at least 15 minutes before the ending. Because he knew that, after such a buildup, the viewers would leave the theater disappointed. So there was still some action afterwards to not leave the theater on the wrong impression. Best example of this is 'Vertigo' : the solution comes 45 minutes before the ending while, in the original book, it came in the end.

Of course, you can't do such a thing. So, Martin, be careful the next time not to make us mad... The longer the build up, the stronger the solution must be...

Yours,

Geoff the Klump

Originally posted by Geoff The Klump Martin, just another word.You know, in a way, my reaction is a testimony to your teaser in the 1st place, the way I'm so disappointed shows just how much I had fun and excitement participating.Hitchcock said a lot of things about those kind of subjects. For instance, the plot was revealed at least 15 minutes before the ending. Because he knew that, after such a buildup, the viewers would leave the theater disappointed. So there was still some action afterwards to not leave the theater on the wrong impression. Best example of this is 'Vertigo' : the solution comes 45 minutes before the ending while, in the original book, it came in the end.Of course, you can't do such a thing. So, Martin, be careful the next time not to make us mad... The longer the build up, the stronger the solution must be...Yours,Geoff the Klump

Hi Geoff,
Of course, you can feel free to analyse the outcome or the context as much as you wish, but do remember that as with anything of this sort, there is a tendency for the thread to take on a life seemingly of its own (not unlike a lot of the threads you've seen posted here) and the momentum - if indeed that is what you were referring to above - can go either way: it can reach a feverish pitch of such expectation that, come the final revelation, it's not uncommon to feel a sense of anti-climax or bewilderment. Or, it can simply start on a high, dip mid-way, then gather itself up again for the final kiss-off. (God, forgive me, this sounds so pretentious!) With this teaser - the important thing to remember was my regular prompt that the answer was actually something pretty mundane and straightforward. The reason it seemed such a disappointment to some, like yourself, is a direct result of all the expectation that had built up during the course of various attempts at getting the explanation right, such that, when the answer unravelled, you would - quite justifiably - think : "is that it?" Please don't feel like you spent an age trying to get the answer only to be put off at the end. It wasn't my intention to set a "trick" question either. The whole purpose of this teaser - like I stated right at the very beginning - was simply to test other peoples' methods of LATERAL THINKING. No more no less. There shouldn't be a need to get too wrapped up in post-mortems or over-analysis of the final outcome. Your claim that there could have been different answers may well have some grounding, but, again, the solution I was looking for was the one that was written down in front of me when I set the teaser. I mean, surely the solution couldn't have been THAT obscure - seeing as - like you said - a few people were getting the gist of it by supplying very near and very credible explanations after being given a few clues. To conclude then, I reckon it served its purpose pretty well all told: it's certainly whipped up a bit of controversy and debate even after all the madness has subsided. What use be a brain-bending teaser if it didn't cause people to get all wrapped up and indulging in heated debate??

For the record Geoff, I've been asked elsewhere to think of another one for later.....i.when I do, I'll make sure it's something more to do with New Order themselves rather than a general trivia one.

Keep your words coming. That's all part of the fun!
But that's it - just fun - please don't take it too seriously!!

where are you Velocity Girl?............there will be something sent to you in due course......the small matter of the Factory 12" I promised ....... you seem to have gone quiet all of a sudden!You haven't deserted us already, surely, have you? hi martin, ive been away on a merry jaunt, although im not feeling quite so merry now :( , if you know what i mean...nevertheless, the thought of a lovely piece of factory vinyl is fast cheering me up (as long as its not northside). thanks martin :) now i must go and rest my weary head..and my ringing ears.. vg

As I said on that other thread, I will certainly participate in your next brain teaser.

Thing is, I thought of the right solution because of some posts but I thought, no, it has alerady been said, it's not that, blah blah blah, again with you confusing us...

The problem here is also that I lack the vocabulary to express how I felt.

And, by the way, I don't mind if it's non-NO.

One final word having fun is a pretty serious business...

And please, Martin, don't say Radiohead was a real clue. Almost everyone understood this was about charts.

Putting Radiohead there had nothing to do with helping us.

That's ok, but be honest and say so.

I think I'm gonna stop on this subject because this page is toooooo long to load...

Originally posted by velocity girl the thought of a lovely piece of factory vinyl is fast cheering me up (as long as its not northside). thanks martin :)now i must go and rest my weary head..and my ringing ears..vg

Doh!........I was just going to say, it was a Northside LP I was going to send you....... :devil:

.....ho ho..............only joking!!!!!.....

Pardon my asking but isn't the #1 song ALWAYS played last?

when was it NEARLY ALWAYS?

u mentioned sex pistols and I don't know their chart positions that time never mind the fact I didn't even exist yet

.....ho ho..............only joking!!!!!..... have you actually got any northside records? if you do, i suggest you take a blow torch to them as i once did to an old babs streisand record i picked up in oxfam; it was very cathartic and i managed to shape it into a wonky yet funky fruitbowl..

Originally posted by velocity girl .....ho ho..............only joking!!!!!..... have you actually got any northside records? if you do, i suggest you take a blow torch to them as i once did to an old babs streisand record i picked up in oxfam; it was very cathartic and i managed to shape it into a wonky yet funky fruitbowl..

The answer to your question is an unequivocal NO!! If I did, I don't think I could live with myself. They were probably the worst band ever to come out of Manchester, even worse than Freddie And The Dreamers (ask your dad!) .

The answer to your question is an unequivocal NO!! If I did, I don't think I could live with myself. good lad

who are northside?

Originally posted by Sarah Middle who are northside?

Some things are better left forgotten Sarah dear.... :evil:

Velocity Girl - have you had a look at the second teaser that I've just unleashed on everybody yet? After all, you were one of the few who requested another !!!