Darius the drawing pins daring day

The thundering of passing traffic on the main road was the first thing that alerted Darius from his slumber, it was incessent and relentless. He rolled himself onto his spike and looked at his alarm clock - 6:15 it was earlier than he normally rose but today was to be a special day, unknowingly he grudgingly hopped out of bed and looked out of the window of his ground floor flat which lay on the side of a busy A road in Romford. The weather was bright, dry and dew still lay on the small patch of grass directly beneath his bedroom window, a few feet further on the world was beginning to move up through the gears ready for the day ahead.

This was no ordinary day as Darius was soon to find out. He buffed his surface on his special cloth, feeling clean and a little more awake he headed towards the door in gyroscope fashion.

He took a deep spin towards the wide world outside, his adventures was just beginning...

... outside the streets were empty, nothing unusual in that at this time thought darius. There was something else though, things were a little too quiet..

His day normally started in the same way, a visit to the local cemetary (the local noticeboard) to see some of his less fortunate cousins and friends, but today was different, he felt like he was drawn to spinning in the other direction. Feeling ever so slightly unusual he paused. All of a sudden he felt a strong gust of wind which blew him onto his back and all of a sudden the sky went black and he felt himself being lifted from the ground towards the sky. "this is it!" he thought, "im destined for the noticeboard"....

... darkness, and then light, darkness... then light... Darius suddenly realised, He had been stood on! He was stuck to the bottom of some idiot's shoe! Feeling dizzy Darius passed out...

He had no idea how long he had been unconcious but when he came to he realised he was no long outside, he appeared to be under a table in a room with music playing, he heard voices from above...

I know that voice thought darius. He rolled over to the edge of the table and looked up. Oh my god! It's...

Listen Pete, she's not got the voice, what do you think Geri?? She's a lovely girl Simon but i agree i dont think she has what it takes.

Pete shook his head and waved the girl away "sorry girl your not for us"

Slowly the chilling truth dawned on Darius, he was stuck to the bottom of Simon Cowell's shoe and was in the middle of a Pop Idol audition....

... after dry retching for a full twenty minutes, darius got himself together. I know, he thought, I'll audition myself! Where did i put that guitar... ?

Not having a guitar to hand he decided he would have to impress the judges with his voice and charisma alone.

Now all he needed to do was free himself from Nasty Cowell's sole....

Easier said than done in normal circumstances, luckily foul cowell was wearing a pair of very thin loafers. Darius forced himself further into them, hoping to get through to the skin... just a bit more ... just a bit more ...

Suddenly without warning a shrill child like yelp was emitted and it wasnt coming from Geri's lips....

Cowell jumped 4 foot in the air shocking geri so much she shat herself and pete looked like he was about to have a heart attack. But Darius was free!

It dont only look like Pete would have a heart attack, he actually did!!

he was rushed out and Doctor Fox was hurried into his seat the viewers will never know Ant hushed to Dec...

... while groping his arse.

Darius was ready to go, but there was one problem - he needed a song and he needed it now!