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my short story (done for english class)

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reversed reality. by Jeff. Kyle. Tomlinson.

The was world is war-torn, almost completely destroyed. All good emotions were gone, out of existence, and all that remained was anger, sadness, and hate. There is a school that is built in as a laboratory, located in Derbyshire, in England. Some students, Ian Curtis, Alan Gore, Jessicka Hart, Alanis Sutherland, and James Gallahger, recently made a major discovery that changed the world forever. This discovery, was the ability to bring reality into dreams, and dreams into reality. With this new technique, they were able to work out a way to completely fix the world, all of the worlds problems; war, destruction, and the resulting emotions; sadness, anger and hate. Let the story begin.

The year is 2014, our world has been reduced to a wasteland of death, and destruction. There is a person name Ian Curtis. He's living on a school that is also an equipped laboratory. Ian and his friends, Alan, Jessicka, Alanis, and James, are studying dreams and their connection to reality. Just the other day, they had made a gargantuan discovery. While James was asleep in the dream research sector, they somehow managed to create a world inside of their dream, which was identical to the real world. They noticed that objects started to move and that doors began to open and close.

“Oh my God!” exclaimed Alan, “Did you see that?! It was crazy!” 

“Shhhhhhh!” Jessicka, “You'll wake up James. This is a very important discovery that is currently going on, we cannot screw it up.” It was too late, James has awoken, except, he wasn't in the bed, he was at the door, holding the door handle. Everything that he had done in his dream had remained the same. What if they could do something similar to that, except, mix dreams and reality together, and make the dreams take place on Earth in the past? They could change the world's outcome. They could make the world liveable again. “Like, uhh, whoa...” Ian said quietly. He appeared to be lost in thought. “Hey, man, dude, Ian, are you OK?” asked Alan. “Oh, umm, ya, yes, I'm OK. I just came up with the perfect plan!” He replied. “OK, here is how it is. As James has just discovered in his dream study, he has the ability to change the real world, within his dreams, by heavily focusing on reality in his sleep, he was able to create a dream land exactly identical to the lab. Well, what if we could focus balanced on reality and dreams, while the dream part, we are thinking about this very world, except in the past, 2004 to be exact.” Alanis continued as if she was thinking the exact same thing as Ian, “We would be able to prevent the war that had happened, and the future would be changed, we might even be living in a perfect, peaceful world, free of all sadness, depression, anger, violence, and death.” “Exactly!” Ian said, continuing, “I think this is a really good idea, who's up to try?” “Dude, I totally am man!” Alan said. “As am I” added James. “Me Too” Jessicka continued. “Sure thing” Alanis concluded. “Well, than, its settled, we shall try to do this, first thing tonight.”

Later that night, they met at the laboratory. They relied on Alanis to stay behind to make sure nothing went wrong. “Ok, dude's, we have to make sure we focus on, like, 2004, March 2004 to be exact, well, March 2nd 2004.” Ian said before laying down in one of the lab beds. Everyone was focusing mildly on both reality, and the dream world, which they converted into reality, except 10 years ago. Within 10 minutes, they were asleep and in the dream world. “Hey, guys, I think we're in, see? This is Washington, isn't this where we are supposed to be?” asked Alan. “Yeah, we should go like, find the White House or something.” said James. “Well, I know where it is, I came here before the war. Its actually just down the road from here. So, uhhh, lets head out.” Ian replied.

When they arrived at the White House, they were, amazingly, admitted in to talk to the president, who had just come out of a conference, dealing with a war that was being prepared.

“Hello, welcome to Washington,” said The President, “You sound as if you come from, Great Britain. Is that correct?” “Yes it is” said Jessicka “Not only from Great Britain, but from Great Britain, 2014AD.” “Yeah, right, and I'm the president of the United States, oh, wait, crap, I am. Prove it.” said the President. “Well, on March 3rd, 2004, you bombed Brazil, because you believed that they were developing a nuclear program for reasons other than power. Well, the only reason Brazil was starting a nuclear program was to have Power, due to the gargantuan lack of power available. You and your army bombed the country for no reason, and well, the world retaliated, and, the world became a wasteland full of death and destruction by 2008.” “I don't believe you,” the President replied, “I want more proof.” “Very well,” said Ian, “You have to pay attention closely though, we will explain to you how to show you your future and our present.” “Ok, fine then.” the President said. After explaining the process to the president, they went to the future to show him what the world has come to. When they awoke in the past again, the president called off the bombing of Brazil, in order to keep the world peaceful. “I must thank you for waking me up and telling me what I was doing was going to ruin the world” said the President. “No problem at all, we did it for the people of the future.” said Jessicka. “Well, I'm guessing its time to get back to the Present?” asked Alan. “Yeah, I think we shall... Uhh, lets go then.” Ian replied. They went back to sleep, and woke up in 2014. Except, it didn't look how 2014 was supposed to look. They looked out the window, and there were Plants, and Flowers, and People enjoying themselves outside. It was bright and the sun was shining, everyone was happy, and it was as if what they did never actually happened, and that the world just turned out that way. The group didn't even remember going back into the dream world to fix it, they just woke up. “Hey, who wants to go sailing?” asked Alanis. “Dude, I totally want to go sailing!” replied Alan “Ya, like, most definitely!” said Ian “It'll rock!” James said. “Yes! Sailing is a capital idea!” Jessicka continued. “Well, lets go then! come on, time to head out!” Alanis concluded. .THE END.

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Workable start, sirrah. A few tips:

  1. Go into more detail on the technical process of entering dreams. I suggest you start reading lots of Freud and watch some movies like Being John Malkovich. Actaully, it seems you must have watched 12 Monkeys recently, but if you haven't, I strongly suggest you do so. Come to think of it, if you start taking influences from Freud, you'll probably end up with a paper not suitable for your teachers. James will start trying to debase Alanis (who looks surprisingly like his mother) into a whore, so that he can conquer psychical impotence and give her the business.

  2. Next, if these students are really smart enough to a) survive the apocalypse, and b) use complicated technology, then they wouldn't talk like they're your age. Too many "dudes" and "likes" and "umms." Unless you're suggesting that pothead teenagers shall inherit the earth.

  3. Sailing is NOT a capital idea.

  4. Add more sex and violence. Freud <---read it. If your teacher's a woman, it should piss her off nicely.

  5. Have one of them call the President a "filthy bitch."

  6. How are you ever going to convince people that your characters are from England if you don't use the word "fook" at least once?

  7. Have a cameo appearance by Freddy Krueger so at least all but one of the characters won't make it out of the dream alive.

  8. Did I mention the 3 elements crucial to any successful entertainment: robots, zombie, and tits. I suggest you change the ending so that a troupe of appropriately-naked Penthouse pets land in a deserted city, pull out one of those scanner thingies from Star Trek, and say "There don't appear to be any living creatures here"--and then they get savagely attacked by the zombies and robots.

When I think of more tips, I'll add them. :nod:

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Hmmm. How many English people do you know who say "dude" and "it'll rock"?!

Actually, if they're in Derbyshire, they won't even be speaking English at all! :evil4:

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Originally posted by Al Jarvis Hmmm. How many English people do you know who say "dude" and "it'll rock"?!

That Rocks,Dude!:evil4:

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Originally posted by Al Jarvis Hmmm. How many English people do you know who say "dude" and "it'll rock"?!Actually, if they're in Derbyshire, they won't even be speaking English at all! :evil4:

i'm from derbyshire.. i moved to canada though...

by the way, my fucking bitch of an english teacher gave me a zero for not handing in a rough copy, and she never even told me there had to be a rough copy...

and, potheads shall inherit the earth one day... we are very peaceful people remember...

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