My sister must die....

She called 20 minutes ago.

"Have you heard from your wife?"

"Yes, she is on her way home."

"There's been a vehicle/bicycle accident at Urbandale and Beaver. Is that not the way she rides home?"

"Usually."

"It's all over the radio. I been trying to call."

"Give her some time."

She calls again in about 15 minutes. No word.

So I stop playing FA and jump into the Jag to intercept her. I don't find her.

What would Kerry do?? Plan to plan. IF she is dead I thought I would have to kill the person that did this. Most likely a baseball bat since if I used a gun it would hurt the gun rights of my fellow Americans. Cracking the skull repeatedly with a bat would feel quite good knowing that I am avenging the killer of my wife. No mercy. Prison will be guaranteed for me. Do right, just one chance.

As I rolled back into my drive way Wifey is taking out the trash.

I call my sister.

"Sit down."

"What's going on?"

"Meet me at the funeral home."

"Oh GOD!!"

"No. She is safe. Its's just your liberal interference/control mechanism going off."

"That's not funny. I am driving my car now."

"Better stay off the phone while driving."

Bitch. Giving me a scare like that.

Dude!!!!

1. Bend her over at the hips.

2. Have her brace herself using hands and arms extended. a. Ensure arms are bent at the elbow b. Ensure legs spred open approximately shoulder width.

3. Ensure you are wearing a heavy, preferably, steel-toed boot.

4. Insert fot in her ass!!!! a. Use extreme prejudice. b. A running start is allowed.

5. Enjoy the

Go round to her home and beat her with a large bat,that should keep her in check!

i ussaly throw books or what not at my sister lol

That's a waste of Jager Bombs. I'd be too drunk before I completed Step 3.

And I thought my sister could be bad sometimes! What an absolute bitch, scaring you like that.