Thanksgiving Homicide

So's I wake up at 6 am the day after and there is no mayo in the fridge. 8 different pies, seven different mustards, 12 different salad dressings but no fucking mayo or Miracle Whip (yuck). I carved that bird with due care knowing that the next day I would be living on turkey sandwiches. Sure, Twist, get off your arse and buy some, fooker. Yeah, I will as soon as I am dressed but I aint happy about it.

Hope the rest of the Yanks had a good Turkey Day.

Crisis over. Miracle Whip located in the Lazy Susan. Not as good as regular mayo IMHO but it will suffice.

Miracle Whip-- yecchh. Might as well be a jar of pig vomit. OK, everybody back to eating.

Or at least attempted homicide.

My family ditched the idea of having turkey, so we had a huge pork shoulder roast baked with carrots instead. We had heavy cream mashed potatos with celery root mixed in. Diced pork pork shoulder with porcini, boiled chestnuts with butter, lima beans, crusty bread, soft cheese, some cake, and chocolate truffles. The best thing is that we ate at noon so that I could have a Thanksgiving dinner with my friends; two feasts in one day and my stomach is still recovering.

Mrs. Twist's parents live in the same city as mine. So usually we have two feasts on the same day if things were planned poorly. I remember one time, probably Easter, I got the sweats at the second dinner and ended up worshipping the porcelin God. Miserable.

This year only one meal.