How true

You know you're an Internet Junkie when...

1.You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop to check your email on the way back to bed. 2.You get a tattoo that reads "This body best viewed with Netscape Navigator 3.0 or higher." 3.You name your children Eudora, Yahoo, and Dotcom. 4.You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one. 5.You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap... and your child in the overhead compartment. 6.You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free Internet access. 7.You laugh at people with 28.8k modems. 8.You start using smileys in your snail mail. :) 9.Your hard drive crashes. You haven't logged in for two hours. You start to twitch. You pick up the phone and manually dial your ISP's access number. You try to hum to communicate with their modem... (If you actually connect that way, you need SERIOUS help!) 10.If you're broke and your modem burns out, and you go to the streets to sell your body to get a new one. 11.You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.com 12.You refer to going to the bathroom as "downloading". 13.You start introducing yourself as "JohnSmith at Domain dot Com". 14.All of your friends have an @ in their names too. 15.Your cat has its own home page. 16.You can't call your mother... she doesn't have a modem. 17.You check your mail. It says "no new messages". You check it again. 18.Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box. 19.You don't know what sex three of your closest friends are, because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask. 20.Your service provider calls YOU for tech support. 21.You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape. 22.You tell the cab driver you live at "http://1000.edison.garden/house/brick.html". 23.You start tilting your head sideways to smile. 24.You go shopping Online 25.After reading this, you immediately forward this url to all your friends.

What you trying to say?

But Mike it's you. You were typing from Glasgow airport yesterday.

Ooooooooops I been caught out, I will go and buy an ANORAK

Mike, I'm No. 17

I am Number 7

and also No. 19

Bendover and take your punishment

:sex: :sex: :sex:

Now going out to make a snowman. Kids are here again.

3 times wow

Poor Snowman , you will melt is HEART

I'll kick his ass

Mmmm S and M eh

New Year's Resolutions for Internet Junkies

1. I will try to figure out why I *really* need 7 e-mail addresses.

2. I will stop sending e-mail to my wife.

3. I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own.

4. I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail.

5. I resolve to back up my 1GB hard drive daily...well, once a week...okay, monthly then...or maybe...

6. I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet.

7. When I hear "Where do you want to go today?" I won't reply "MS Tech Support."

8. I will read the manual.

9. I will think of a password other than "password."

10. I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning.

I'm a semi-illiterate fuck-head I post to all newsgroup's all at the same time so nobody but only one newsgroup understands what I'm writing about.

I believe what I'm writing about is so important and interesting that I need to post it to all newsgroup's at the same time.

I have no friends in real-life because I'm a shallow idiotic bastard who is willing to write about anything because I know about nothing.

I am so stupid and isolated I have signed up to all the different cultures. I believe that the Japanese, are just like the Hollywood black-and-white films they are not just ordinary people with ordinary attitudes and an ordinary everyday working person.

I believe that the Germans, do nothing but drink beer and sing songs and drink more beer and sing more songs.

I believe the British are like Hollywood black-and-white films they all have umbrellas and smell of fish and chips and they don't live in a city just like me with millions of immigrants.

I believe the Irish all walk around saying top of the morning to you! Just like the Englishman David Frost.

I can't help It I'm just a fucked up American, semi-illiterate backward cunt.

P.S I will go around the internet and say in all the culture newsgroup's my parents were German, Italian, Russian, Chinese, Japanese, Portuguese, English, Scottish, Irish, Cornish, Welsh, Ukrainian and blah blah blah.

I am just a fucked up American. Sayonara, goodbye, adia's, auf Wiedersehen, au revoir.