15 things to do at a Walmart

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of original Gatorade on the floor leading to the restrooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares...and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay-away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from "Mission Impossible."

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different sized funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

And last but not least...

15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while and then yell "There is no toilet paper in here!"

5. a bag of Mick&Mike???

I like to open up the condom boxes and poke holes with a needle through each packet.

Funny stuff Tristan, my MO at Wal-Mart, when I absolutely have no other choices of stores to shop from (about once every three years or so) is to get the hell in and outta that store ASAP. Always the top two things to do, for me, at that infernal place.

A middle aged woman went to a Wal-Mart service counter and tells the clerk she wants a refund for the toaster she bought because it won't work. The clerk tells her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on 'special'. Suddenly, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts screaming,

"PINCH MY NIPPLES! PINCH MY NIPPLES! PINCH MY NIPPLES!!"

The befuddled clerk ran away to get the store manager in front of a growing crowd of customers. The manager goes to the woman and asks, "Ma'am, what's wrong?"

She explained the problem with the toaster, and HE tells her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special. Once again, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts screaming,

"PINCH MY NIPPLES! PINCH MY NIPPLES! PINCH MY NIPPLES!"

And in doing so draws a HUGE crowd! In shock, the store manager pleads, "Ma'am, why are you saying that?

In a huff, the woman says, "BECAUSE, I LIKE TO HAVE MY NIPPLES PINCHED WHEN I'M GETTING SCREWED!"

The crowd broke into applause and her money was quickly refunded!

Just let off a big fart.....

Got to the TV department, find the mirror and smash it. That will kill the heart of Wall-Mart.

twist wrote: Got to the TV department, find the mirror and smash it. That will kill the heart of Wall-Mart.

Hehe, I was watching the same episode of South Park.

add cucumber and vaseline to shopping trollies.