I do physical labor I work at great depths I plunge headfirst into everything I do I do not get weekends or public holidays off I work in a damp environment I work in a dark workplace with poor ventilation I work in high temperatures My work exposes me to contagious diseases
Dear Penis: After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight You fall asleep after brief work periods You do not always follow the orders of the management team You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations You do not take initiative and need to be pressured and stimulated to start work You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift You don't always observe safety regulations such as wearing protective clothing You will retire well before you are 65 You are unable to work double shifts You sometimes leave your assigned work area before finishing the assgned task
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags.
Sincerely, Management.
