The Hoff
Archived48 replies · 743 views
)
I'm surprised The Hoff hasn't posted a pic of himself posing with, oh, I don't know...a Shar Pei or two? 
Sorry Mr. Hoff! 
Mr. Hoff revealed himself to me, and it was rather startling:
TV's Major Dad, Gerald McRaney!
Taboo # 7 wrote: Mr. Hoff revealed himself to me, and it was rather startling:
Can't wait to see more of Gerald as W.R. Hearst in the next season of Deadwood, somehow I don't think he'll bandy the term 'cocksucker' around like the Swearengen character does. 
I haven't watched TV in years, and generally don't miss it at all... But Deadwood is one of those shows I wish I could see. Even if Taboo's new girlfriend is in it.
bLuE oRdEr wrote: Fallen in love with a new girl, have we?
Sorry Mr. McRightwing!
Oops, I've done it again!
Well, I figure while a lot of losers would love to be Mr. Hasselhoff, no one would want to be McRaney (he's married to Delta Burke, after all :barf: )
So I await the appearance of "one half of Simon and Simon" shortly on the boards, stalking me of course :p
Oh, and Gerry's not my "girlfriend", he's actually trying to help me with my relationship troubles (see my blog, it's quite funny or not) :p
Taboo # 7 wrote: Oh, and Jessie's not my "girlfriend", "she"'s actually trying to help me with my relationship troubles (see my blog, it's quite funny or not) :p
Sorry! 
Y'know, Tabbsy, I was thinking after reading your blog, perhaps you shouldn't be calling him a Jessie like that... 
bLuE oRdEr wrote:
Taboo # 7 wrote: Oh, and Jessie's not my "girlfriend", "she"'s actually trying to help me with my relationship troubles (see my blog, it's quite funny or not) :p
I wish that I had Jessie's boyfriend!
Calm down, Tiger
bLuE oRdEr wrote: Y'know, Tabbsy, I was thinking after reading your blog, perhaps you are the new Fitzgerald after all
Oh, why think you, man! I appreciate that mucho grande! :D
Taboo # 7 wrote:
bLuE oRdEr wrote:
Taboo # 7 wrote: Oh, and Jessie's not my "girlfriend", "she"'s actually trying to help me with my relationship troubles (see my blog, it's quite funny or not) :p
I wish that I had Jessie's boyfriend!
Nobody "has" me, I prefer my palm, Tiger
Not that there's anything wrong with that! :p
Taboo # 7 wrote:
bLuE oRdEr wrote: Y'know, Tabbsy, I was thinking after reading your blog, perhaps you are the new Fitzgerald after all
Oh, why think you, man! However, I prefer to be known as "El Guapo"! :D
Whatever you say, El Guapo!
bLuE oRdEr wrote:
Taboo # 7 wrote:
bLuE oRdEr wrote:
Taboo # 7 wrote: Oh, and Jessie's not my "girlfriend", "she"'s actually trying to help me with my relationship troubles (see my blog, it's quite funny or not) :p
I wish that I had Jessie's boyfriend!
Nobody "has" me, I prefer my palm, Tiger
I have a fixation on Don Henley, not that there's anything wrong with that!
:p
Taboo # 7 wrote:
bLuE oRdEr wrote:
Taboo # 7 wrote:
bLuE oRdEr wrote:
Taboo # 7 wrote: Oh, and Jessie's not my "girlfriend", "she"'s actually trying to help me with my relationship troubles (see my blog, it's quite funny or not) :p
I wish that I had Jessie's boyfriend!
Nobody "has" me, I prefer my palm, Tiger
That would explain your fixation on Don Henley, then; not that there's anything wrong with that!
bLuE oRdEr wrote:
Taboo # 7 wrote:
bLuE oRdEr wrote:
Taboo # 7 wrote:
bLuE oRdEr wrote:
Taboo # 7 wrote: Oh, and Jessie's not my "girlfriend", "she"'s actually trying to help me with my relationship troubles (see my blog, it's quite funny or not) :p
I wish that I had Jessie's boyfriend!
Nobody "has" me, I prefer my palm, Tiger
Hi, I'm recording star Don Henley, and when I'm not making wonderful music with my band, I'm in my private mansion masturbating my ass off. July is National Masturbation Month, and as the spokesman for the International Whacking-Off Day festivities on July 14, I want to remind you that every sperm lost through the Solo Moonshot method means one less hungry mouth on this planet. So remember, masturbate, and masturbate often. Take it easy, though...
Do something with that, you sick freak 
This message brought to you by International Masturbation Spokesman Don Henley:
And yes, that is his left hand
Taboo # 7 wrote:
Don Henley wrote:
Taboo # 7 wrote:
bLuE oRdEr wrote:
Taboo # 7 wrote:
bLuE oRdEr wrote:
Taboo # 7 wrote: Oh, and Jessie's not my "girlfriend", "she"'s actually trying to help me with my relationship troubles (see my blog, it's quite funny or not) :p
I wish that I had Jessie's boyfriend!
Nobody "has" me, I prefer my palm, Tiger
Hi, Taboo #7 has asked me to make this special announcement. I'm recording star Don Henley, and when I'm not wanking in the studio with my band, I'm in my private mansion masturbating my ass off. July is National Masturbation Month, and as the spokesman for the International Whacking-Off Day festivities on July 14, I want to remind you that every sperm lost through the Solo Moonshot method means one less hungry mouth on this planet. So remember, masturbate, and masturbate often. Take it easy, though...
Hmmm... Take it easy...Take it easy... Well, I'm in my big abode, lettin' loose with my load...
Hmmm, sounds like it could be a hit. :p
See, I'm not a sick freak
I never said you were, El Guapo. Not that there's anything wrong with your "hobby."
Taboo # 7 wrote: This message brought to you by International Masturbation Spokesman Don Henley:
And yes, that is his left hand just below the head
I never knew he was left-handed.
bLuE oRdEr wrote:
Taboo # 7 wrote: This message brought to you by International Masturbation Spokesman Don Henley:
And yes, that is his left hand just below the head
I never knew he was left-handed.
Ambidexterous :D
bLuE oRdEr wrote:
Taboo # 7 wrote: This message brought to you by International Masturbation Spokesman Don Henley:
And yes, that is his left hand just below the head
I always knew he was left-handed.
How, exactly? 
Taboo # 7 wrote:
bLuE oRdEr wrote:
Taboo # 7 wrote: This message brought to you by International Masturbation Spokesman Don Henley:
And yes, that is his left hand just below the head
I always knew he was left-handed.
How, exactly?
It's a well-known, well-documented characteristic amongst afficionados-- or The Brotherhood, as you often style yourselves-- of your hobby, El Guapo.
bLuE oRdEr wrote:
Taboo # 7 wrote:
bLuE oRdEr wrote:
Taboo # 7 wrote: This message brought to you by International Masturbation Spokesman Don Henley:
And yes, that is his left hand just below the head
I always knew he was left-handed.
How, exactly?
It's a well-known, well-documented characteristic amongst afficionados-- or The Brotherhood, as we often style ourselves-- of our hobby, El Guapo.
So are you saying you're a chronic masturbator? Wow, that takes courage to admit that on an international forum that is read literally by millions
Taboo # 7 wrote:
bLuE oRdEr wrote:
Taboo # 7 wrote:
bLuE oRdEr wrote:
Taboo # 7 wrote: This message brought to you by International Masturbation Spokesman Don Henley:
And yes, that is his left hand just below the head
I always knew he was left-handed.
How, exactly?
It's a well-known, well-documented characteristic amongst afficionados-- or The Brotherhood, as you often style yourselves-- of your hobby, El Guapo.
So what if I'm a chronic masturbator? Wow... I can't believe I just said that.
Props to you, El Guapo
bLuE oRdEr wrote:
Taboo # 7 wrote:
bLuE oRdEr wrote:
Taboo # 7 wrote:
bLuE oRdEr wrote:
Taboo # 7 wrote: This message brought to you by International Masturbation Spokesman Don Henley:
And yes, that is his left hand just below the head
I always knew he was left-handed.
How, exactly?
It's a well-known, well-documented characteristic amongst afficionados-- or The Brotherhood, as you often style yourselves-- of your hobby, El Guapo.
So what if I'm a chronic masturbator? Wow... I can't believe I just said that.
Props to you, El Guapo. I molest sheep myself (that solves that little jerking off problem just fine)
Taboo # 7 wrote:
bLuE oRdEr wrote:
Taboo # 7 wrote:
bLuE oRdEr wrote:
Taboo # 7 wrote:
bLuE oRdEr wrote:
Taboo # 7 wrote: This message brought to you by International Masturbation Spokesman Don Henley:
And yes, that is his left hand just below the head
I always knew he was left-handed.
How, exactly?
It's a well-known, well-documented characteristic amongst afficionados-- or The Brotherhood, as you often style yourselves-- of your hobby, El Guapo.
So what if I'm a chronic masturbator? Wow... I can't believe I just said that.
Props to you, El Guapo. Sheep everywhere will bleat a sigh of relief.
Not when I join forces with Hassel the Hoff
Ewe wouldn't... or would ewe?
And if anybody search "masturbation" and "new order" in Google.. it's you they are going to read...!!!
Spotnick wrote: And if anybody search "masturbation" and "new order" in Google.. it's you they are going to read...!!!
Glad to be of servicing
Yes, Ron, I am sick. But life is boring for normal people 
Hi, this is Chuck Norris and the cast of "Walker, Texas Ranger". When we're not on the set kicking criminals and bringing them to justice, we like to masturbate, and masturbate often. We do it not to have fun, but to keep our bodily fluids from possibly impregnating others. As overpopulation puts a strain on the world's food supply, it is important to find pleasure with yourself, and not with anyone else. So kids, keep off the drugs and keep on the knob. Just say no to drugs, and yes to pleasuring yourself. 
Taboo # 7 wrote:
Hi, this is Chuck Norris and the cast of "Walker, Texas Ranger". When we're not on the set kicking criminals and bringing them to justice, we like to masturbate each other, and masturbate often. We do it not to have fun, but to keep our bodily fluids from possibly impregnating others. As overpopulation puts a strain on the world's food supply, it is important to pleasure yourself, preferably with a friend. So kids, keep off the drugs and keep on the knob. Just say no to drugs, and yes to pleasuring yourself.
El Guapo, you're the Mastur.
bLuE oRdEr wrote:
Taboo # 7 wrote:
Hi, this is Chuck Norris and the cast of "Walker, Texas Ranger". When we're not on the set kicking criminals and bringing them to justice, we like to masturbate each other, and masturbate often. We do it not to have fun, but to keep our bodily fluids from possibly impregnating others. As overpopulation puts a strain on the world's food supply, it is important to pleasure yourself, preferably with a friend. So kids, keep off the drugs and keep on the knob. Just say no to drugs, and yes to pleasuring yourself.
El Guapo, you're the Mastur.
It's all in the picture, man. You got to have that picture for it to work 
bLuE oRdEr wrote: bator.
Oh, well....here I was thinking you were paying me a compliment 
I'll take it as that anyway :p
Church of the KLF wrote: Has anyone here seen the David Hasselhoff movie WITCHERY? It's unbelievable.
Quit trying to change the subject!
Taboo # 7 wrote:
Church of the KLF wrote: Has anyone here seen the David Hasselhoff movie WITCHERY? It's unbelievable.
Quit trying to change the subject!
No, I was asking because I masturbate whenever Hildegard Knef comes on the screen! The thought of her and Linda Blair...together....oofta! 
(Just kidding)
bLuE oRdEr wrote: What an original idea for a movie!
It's called a "homage", blue. That's French for "rip-off"
