David Lange former New Zealand Prime Minister recently passed away.
David Lange's words of wisdom
By Crikey's political correspondent Christian Kerr
After years of ill health, former New Zealand prime minister David Lange died in Aukland on the weekend, but his memorable way with words lives on.
Date: 16 August 2005
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Crikey Daily - Monday, 15 August
His predecessor Piggy Muldoon may have gone on to act as the narrator for a season of The Rocky Horror Picture Show, but former New Zealand prime minister David Lange, who died on Saturday, even outdid that.
His finance minister, Roger Douglas, gave the greatest demonstration of why social democrats should be economic rationalists while Lange offered epithets ranging from the ridiculous to the coruscating.
None of the obits seem to have offered a good range, so here are some highlights for Crikey readers:
Advertisement When Prime Minister Robert Muldoon was granted a knighthood in November 1983 in the depths of the recession, Lange paralysed the Parliament by quipping “a very long year has been followed by a very short knight.”
After deciding to resign as Prime Minister, Lange appeared at a joint press conference with his successor Geoffrey Palmer and new Deputy Helen Clark. Palmer had launched a long, effusive and over the top speech on what a wonderful Prime Minister Lange had been, when Lange reduced the entire room to fits of giggles by chiming up “Oh Geoffrey, I've changed my mind.”
Observing one of his successors, short term Prime Minister Mike Moore, Lange said he was “increasingly mesmerised by the ability of the Leader [Moore] to speak in a way that meant that when he was on television I knew there were two people who had no idea what he was talking about – him and me.”
Talking again on Moore, Lange described his style as being like “a pinball machine wired by a colour-blind electrician.”
Given his enormous reputation for entertaining speeches, Lange's farewell speech to Parliament in 1996 took place before a full chamber. Most senior political figures were present, with the notable exception of New Zealand First leader Winston Peters, who Lange mused “had probably been detained by a full length mirror.”
Breaking news: The New Zealand Herald has come to the rescue with some beauties of its own. Here are some highlights:
On being made a Companion of Honour: "It's not a high-class escort agency."
On the Muldoon Government: "We ended up being run very similarly to a Polish shipyard" adding: "We couldn't keep living on borrowed money - we're not the Cook Islands."
On Jim Bolger: When Bolger was Opposition leader, Lange once suggested his opponent had "all the intellectual rigour of an amoeba." He also accused him of "going round the country stirring up apathy."
David Lange: quips, anecdotes and wombats
Crikey Daily - Tuesday, 16 August
After his death last Saturday, here is another batch of Langeisms:
A Kiwi subscriber writes:
One to add to the quips of former NZ prime minister David Lange, featured on TV memorials. As Lange strides down a parliamentary corridor pursued by TV cameras and attendant pack, one hackette mewed: "Prime Minister, could we have a brief word?" To which he replied, "Wombat."
In his own words, from The New Zealand Herald:
Helen Clark while rising through the Labour ranks was "so dry she's combustible." Lange on Lange: (valedictory speech on leaving Parliament in 1996) "I was quite obvious. I really only got here by the attraction of mass and I was an enormous acquisition to the people who bought 26-inch television sets." (He then weighted 28 stone – 177.8kg)
And from Scoop.co.nz:
Lange on politics: “Theatre is very important to the human condition. It is not about reason. It is not about rationality. Politics is irrational. Politics is about human beings with their frailties and perversions and distortions or perception, who prioritise things according to their conviction. I didn't go into Parliament to be fair to my opponents. Quite honestly I went in to jump on their windpipes!”
And on New Zealand's place in the world:
“If you look at the world and draw our hemisphere around Auckland it only just touches north America and South America – just a little bit. It takes in the whole of China, back over through India, and just touches bits of Africa. It takes in all the dragon economies, takes in Indonesia the biggest Muslim state in the world, takes in the huge arid masses of Australia and Antarctica, the little island states of the Pacific. The funny thing about our world is there are about 3.5 billion people in it, and there is only 21 million people in it like you and me. We have never come to terms with that. We can't grasp that we are the minuscule minority."
From New Zealand's Sunday Star-Times:
At a political meeting the local National MP, Leon Gotz, whose German name gave rise to unpleasant questions, explained that his name was Frank Leon Albert Gotz, and the initials spelled "flag." A heckler yelled, "Yeah mate, and like all flags you're up the pole." Lange told Wright: "I think more than anything, that's when I decided politics was on."
In 1977 [Lange] entered Parliament after winning selection as the Labour candidate for the safe seat of Mangere. Once again, his wit carried the day. As the last of 16 candidates to speak, the heavily-built politician was introduced as "the person who has had the longest wait of the evening." Lange shot back: "And with respect, the greatest weight too, I think."
