As Americans sit down to enjoy Thanksgiving, a "holiday" built around the concept of stuffing one's face with horrendous amounts of food (though not unlike most other days on the American calendar), I can't help but remember what the holiday really means: giving thanks that some Indians ("Native Americans," for you P.C. liberal thugs) helped those pale-faced Ingerlish colonists survive the cold starving winters of the Eastern Seaboard. And for that kind act of humanity, Americans traded the Indians smallpox, bullets, death marches, and outright genocide in exchange for their land. Fair deal, right?
Now, I'm not one to deny the tasteful qualities of turkey, stuffing, and pumpkin pie...but no child of mine is going to celebrate a grotesque thing like "Thanksgiving" on my watch!
Instead, Thanksgiving will now be known only as "Valhalladay," to commemorate the role of those other conquering barbarian hordes of the past, the Vikings. Plus, "Valhalladay" has the word "holiday" built right into it--clever! Everyone celebrates this new holiday by wearing plastic Viking helmets all day, engaging in wanton acts of gluttony and violence (or raping and pillaging, but your relatives might not like all the incest and familial property destruction), and of course listening to massive amounts of New Order.
I'd like to invite the lot of you to join me in celebrating this new non-religious holiday. Cheers, and happy Valhalladay!
:barf: :egg: 
i eat turkey first... then sleep!!! gots work tomorrow...good night all...