The WORST songs to make love to

Send in the Clowns and Scarborough Fair have got to be the two worst songs of all-time to make love to. Same with Rock-a-bye, Baby.

Short Dick Man - 20 Fingers... not a good one...

Babyshambles

I'll start getting pissed off at the elastic little shiete.

any by Queen makes me frigid & rigid

johnny albrecht wrote: Short Dick Man - 20 Fingers... not a good one...

Is that the dance track that keeps repeating "don't want no short dicked man"? If so I have had a terrible experience with it. In chicago we got invited to this Black geezer's birthday party. Met the guy in bar, granny was from galway etc etc, usual US delusion, and he's like "hey you guys can some party with us, you're just white niggers anyway" (I didn't point out that at least half our group were from the ranks of the "bad guys" in the tale of the downtrodden Irish gettin it from da man.). So we're in there, surrounded by multiple basketball teams, I dunno, maybe he was a player, but all the guys there were bigger than me...and it's fancy friggin dress and half of them have come dressed as pimps from blacksploitation movies. So the dj stick on the aformentioned tune, and suddenly every eye is on us and there is much gaffawing from the men and giggly whispering behind cupped hands from the women. Talk about embarrassed LOL but aprt from that we were made very welcome, nice bunch so they were, anyone who DID give us the eye for being pale blue in a decidely tanned looking crowd, was all smiles when they heard our accents...they even put out a shout for "the crazy outta town motherfuckers who came and partied hard" :)

As for worst tunes....as I said on the best tunes thread, put on anything too good or to interesting and i'm gonna lose interest in what I'm supposed to be doing. But surely for normal humans, things like napalm death (20secs is an epic to them)cliff richard, andrew lloyd webber and the teletubbies album have got to be candidates (well Gary Glitter may find that one useful)

knockin' da boots!!!

"Mary Had a Little Lamb", I thought it would help set the mood but...

Wired for sound - Cliff Richard

'Happy Talk' by Captain Sensible

'Satan' by Orbital

'Sex Dwarf' by Soft Cell

'This is How it Feels' by Inspiral Carpets

Any Christmas music, especially Mannheim Steamroller. Makes me think of chipmunks being squashed.

Michael Bolton is pretty much the worst music to have at ANYTIME, but probably want to avoid it most while "gettin' it on"

COLD AS ICE:D

Chico performing "Chico Time" on X Factor! It nearly killed it for me! :\oops:

Ace of Spades......??

However, if we were to start a 'best', then The Pet Shop Boys had a couple of good uns'...

monty wrote: Chico performing "Chico Time" on X Factor! It nearly killed it for me! :\oops:

You never?

'Feel Like Makin' Love' - Bad Company.

Agadoo

I've got a brand new Combine Harvester

puff the magic dragon. :(

all by crazy frog

Something with Thearapy? or Metallica.

Love both bands, but having sex with them in the background? Nope.

any song that makes you cry is no good

Boatraceface wrote:

monty wrote: Chico performing "Chico Time" on X Factor! It nearly killed it for me! :\oops:

You never?

What time is it? ......It's Chico Time! AAARGH FUCK!

Puff the Magic Dragon and Mary Had a Little Lamb are great choices, in particular! Can you imagine?

Church of the KLF wrote: Puff the Magic Dragon and Mary Had a Little Lamb are great choices, in particular! Can you imagine?

puff the magic dragon makes me cry. i get so incensed with little jackie paper--what an asshole for forgetting about puff and the land called hon-a-lee, just 'cause he's a grown-up!

Any Dylan song.

We hate you (Little Girls) by Throbbing Gristle which is mercifully short (and does put me in mind of an ex) and "Beers, Steers and Queers" by Revolting Cocks which is longer than I could last anyways. Both awful. Don't argue arty fools, they are. If it was these as soundtrack or celibacy, I'd be on the next plane to Vatican City.