When was the last time you had Sex ?
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I had at least ten on Friday night.
Edit: Just realised it says "Sex". I thought it said "Six".
digital mike binoche wrote: Will it be with an alter boy Pope?
I don't think she's an altered boy, else I'd have seen the scars by now. Rimshot, please.
In all fairness and to be politically correct sex involves contact with another human. Five finger Sally, Martin Gore blow up dolls do not count nor does sex with animals.
that's just sick!
Me....too bloody long ago, and none in the forseeable future, with the mess my little illness is making of that general area, there's no fucking way I'm gonna be expecting a female to get involved, it's just not polite. It's not like it's contagious, but it's NOT a pleasant sight.....was at the company's doctor yesterday, he looked at it and said "and that's it on a dormant day in your book is it" without even trying to hide his incredulity.
Luckily the painkillers I'm on work like army tea anyway.
Tell you what, the NOOL-ettes had better keep their chastity belts locked and bolted when I get fixed. (that would be, unless it comes to surgery, and they bloody break something)
twist wrote: In all fairness and to be politically correct sex involves contact with another human. Five finger Sally, Martin Gore blow up dolls do not count nor does sex with animals.
Given that set of criteria Twist, it's been a good faccing while too long!!!!!
Shergold Six wrote:
twist wrote: In all fairness and to be politically correct sex involves contact with another human. Five finger Sally, Martin Gore blow up dolls do not count nor does sex with animals.
Given that set of criteria Twist, it's been a good faccing while too long!!!!!
you lot have "roots" dontya?
Steve Campbell wrote: Me....too bloody long ago, and none in the forseeable future, with the mess my little illness is making of that general area, there's no fucking way I'm gonna be expecting a female to get involved, it's just not polite. It's not like it's contagious, but it's NOT a pleasant sight.....
Don't listen to 'im, Missy Jem. That's just a story Mr. Campbell uses to "screen out" women who are just after him for hot sex. What with all the SNSS groupies and all.
When you have the looks and the money, you have to be careful.
the looks and money don't enter into it my lad, it's me wonderful sense of humour they all love.
Trouble is, no matter what they all say, making them laugh only makes them think you're "sweet".
What are you after anyway GNU? A finders fee?
EDIT: didnt you say you'd keep Schtumm about my inheritance, my maclaren F1 (i'm on the waiting list for the new Mclaren-merc. but old Ron's a mate of mine, so I shouldn't have to wait 2 long ), the estate in the south of france, the private jet, and my 14" willie.
I must say BTW on the subject of groupies, I'm not sure SNSS ever had any, a funk band I played in once had a dozen or so, but they were all after the singer (I mentioned this band before I think as being too New Order to survive, most people came to gigs to hear the comedy between songs, and sod the music...me and lead singer both armde with mics and a drummer who used to lean down into his snare mic and make obscene comments and even more obscene sound effects)
Gnu Odor wrote:
Steve Campbell wrote: Me....too bloody long ago, and none in the forseeable future, with the mess my little illness is making of that general area, there's no fucking way I'm gonna be expecting a female to get involved, it's just not polite. It's not like it's contagious, but it's NOT a pleasant sight.....
Don't listen to 'im, Missy Jem. That's just a story Mr. Campbell uses to "screen out" women who are just after him for hot sex. What with all the SNSS groupies and all.
When you have the looks and the money, you have to be careful.
Tell me about it, i know exactly what it's like.
Ha ha!
Steve Campbell wrote: the looks and money don't enter into it my lad, it's me wonderful sense of humour they all love.
Trouble is, no matter what they all say, making them laugh only makes them think you're "sweet".
What are you after anyway GNU? A finders fee?
EDIT: didnt you say you'd keep Schtumm about my inheritance, my maclaren F1 (i'm on the waiting list for the new Mclaren-merc. but old Ron's a mate of mine, so I shouldn't have to wait 2 long ), the estate in the south of france, the private jet, and my 14" willie.
I must say BTW on the subject of groupies, I'm not sure SNSS ever had any, a funk band I played in once had a dozen or so, but they were all after the singer (I mentioned this band before I think as being too New Order to survive, most people came to gigs to hear the comedy between songs, and sod the music...me and lead singer both armde with mics and a drummer who used to lean down into his snare mic and make obscene comments and even more obscene sound effects)
and yer long borin fuckin essays:)
john kershaw wrote:
Steve Campbell wrote: the looks and money don't enter into it my lad, it's me wonderful sense of humour they all love.
Trouble is, no matter what they all say, making them laugh only makes them think you're "sweet".
What are you after anyway GNU? A finders fee?
EDIT: didnt you say you'd keep Schtumm about my inheritance, my maclaren F1 (i'm on the waiting list for the new Mclaren-merc. but old Ron's a mate of mine, so I shouldn't have to wait 2 long ), the estate in the south of france, the private jet, and my 14" willie.
I must say BTW on the subject of groupies, I'm not sure SNSS ever had any, a funk band I played in once had a dozen or so, but they were all after the singer (I mentioned this band before I think as being too New Order to survive, most people came to gigs to hear the comedy between songs, and sod the music...me and lead singer both armde with mics and a drummer who used to lean down into his snare mic and make obscene comments and even more obscene sound effects)
and yer long borin fuckin essays:)
Ha ha, at least he is chatty. Talk a glass eye to sleep (only joking Cambo!).
Missy Jem wrote:
john kershaw wrote:
Steve Campbell wrote: the looks and money don't enter into it my lad, it's me wonderful sense of humour they all love.
Trouble is, no matter what they all say, making them laugh only makes them think you're "sweet".
What are you after anyway GNU? A finders fee?
EDIT: didnt you say you'd keep Schtumm about my inheritance, my maclaren F1 (i'm on the waiting list for the new Mclaren-merc. but old Ron's a mate of mine, so I shouldn't have to wait 2 long ), the estate in the south of france, the private jet, and my 14" willie.
I must say BTW on the subject of groupies, I'm not sure SNSS ever had any, a funk band I played in once had a dozen or so, but they were all after the singer (I mentioned this band before I think as being too New Order to survive, most people came to gigs to hear the comedy between songs, and sod the music...me and lead singer both armde with mics and a drummer who used to lean down into his snare mic and make obscene comments and even more obscene sound effects)
and yer long borin fuckin essays:)
Ha ha, at least he is chatty. Talk a glass eye to sleep (only joking Cambo!).
from the internet cafe at Broadmoor. jokin cambo. keep up the prose.
I'm still working on a position where I can post to NOOL at the same time.
Finders fee? I'm just doing my job. Just got this e-mail yesterday from my best pal from high school:
Yesterday afternoon, standing atop the Seminary Ridge observation tower that overlooks the Gettysburg battlefields, I asked [name withheld to protect the innocent] to marry me. To the shock and surprise of only anyone who's ever met me, she said "Yes." We have not yet set a date, and the ring is a work in progress, but [none of your business] and I are now engaged to become husband and wife. We are very happy, and wish to share our joy.
Yep, I fixed 'em up, online too. I'm all about results, people.
Gnu Odor wrote: I'm still working on a position where I can post to NOOL at the same time.
Finders fee? I'm just doing my job. Just got this e-mail yesterday from my best pal from high school:
Yesterday afternoon, standing atop the Seminary Ridge observation tower that overlooks the Gettysburg battlefields, I asked [name withheld to protect the innocent] to marry me. To the shock and surprise of only anyone who's ever met me, she said "Yes." We have not yet set a date, and the ring is a work in progress, but [none of your business] and I are now engaged to become husband and wife. We are very happy, and wish to share our joy.
Yep, I fixed 'em up, online too. I'm all about results, people.
Bet Cilla Black's shitting herself! Sorry Gnu, being from across the water you might not know who she is...
... She's an old, ginger haired, buck toothed, scouser who used to fix people up in a really pants programme called 'Blind Date'
Missy Jem wrote: Oh and in response to the topic...
None of your goddamn business!
See, I knew you was a lady :)
Steve Campbell wrote:
Missy Jem wrote: Oh and in response to the topic...
None of your goddamn business!
See, I knew you was a lady :)
Missy Jem wrote:
Gnu Odor wrote: I'm still working on a position where I can post to NOOL at the same time.
Finders fee? I'm just doing my job. Just got this e-mail yesterday from my best pal from high school:
Yesterday afternoon, standing atop the Seminary Ridge observation tower that overlooks the Gettysburg battlefields, I asked [name withheld to protect the innocent] to marry me. To the shock and surprise of only anyone who's ever met me, she said "Yes." We have not yet set a date, and the ring is a work in progress, but [none of your business] and I are now engaged to become husband and wife. We are very happy, and wish to share our joy.
Yep, I fixed 'em up, online too. I'm all about results, people.
Bet Cilla Black's shitting herself! Sorry Gnu, being from across the water you might not know who she is...
... She's an old, ginger haired, buck toothed, scouser who used to fix people up in a really pants programme called 'Blind Date'
only problem with us being blind date contestants, is that we can both read and write :)
Look at it this way, at NOOLday, as long as you keep me laughing, I'll keep buyin you drink :)
Steve Campbell wrote:
Missy Jem wrote:
Gnu Odor wrote: I'm still working on a position where I can post to NOOL at the same time.
Finders fee? I'm just doing my job. Just got this e-mail yesterday from my best pal from high school:
Yesterday afternoon, standing atop the Seminary Ridge observation tower that overlooks the Gettysburg battlefields, I asked [name withheld to protect the innocent] to marry me. To the shock and surprise of only anyone who's ever met me, she said "Yes." We have not yet set a date, and the ring is a work in progress, but [none of your business] and I are now engaged to become husband and wife. We are very happy, and wish to share our joy.
Yep, I fixed 'em up, online too. I'm all about results, people.
Bet Cilla Black's shitting herself! Sorry Gnu, being from across the water you might not know who she is...
... She's an old, ginger haired, buck toothed, scouser who used to fix people up in a really pants programme called 'Blind Date'
only problem with us being blind date contestants, is that we can both read and write :)
Look at it this way, at NOOLday, as long as you keep me laughing, I'll keep buyin you drink :)
Great, i love Cristal champagne... ha
Steve Campbell wrote: Yeah, well it better all be fresh material then hadn't it!
Damn you, i'll have to get researching.
Steve Campbell wrote: Yeah, well it better all be fresh material then hadn't it!
What do you mean, like clean silks?
Definitely get out the fresh material.
Gnu Odor wrote:
Steve Campbell wrote: Yeah, well it better all be fresh material then hadn't it!
What do you mean, like clean silks?
Definitely get out the fresh material.
Terrible man isn't he.
I really wish Monkey hadn;t suggested a charity gig....I was just writing 3 bottles of best bubbly into the sound rider for you. But even i'm not mean enough to steal from charity.
EDIT: fook me I'm out of practice.....I'll have a cable bag....we can bring the shit in from Tesco for you, but one glass behind the bar, and pop over to the canford audio rackmounted wine cooler for refills. No, really.... http://www.canford.co.uk/commerce/productdetails.aspx?productid=11-231
Spec'd for the BBC no doubt.
Steve Campbell wrote:
I really wish Monkey hadn;t suggested a charity gig....I was just writing 3 bottles of best bubbly into the sound rider for you. But even i'm not mean enough to steal from charity.
There goes my theory that you're actually Jennifer Lopez posting under an alias.
Spotnick wrote: Is last week a proper answer?
You know, married people :p
j/k
nicos....married people don't have sex!!! :p
twist wrote: In all fairness and to be politically correct sex involves contact with another human. Five finger Sally, Martin Gore blow up dolls do not count nor does sex with animals.
Who is five finger Sally? Does a Martin Gore blow-up doll really exist? And since sex with animals doesn't count, does that leave out Tristan and Trevor?
Spotnick wrote: Is last week a proper answer?
You know, married people :p
j/k
Can tell you ain't been married long!
Steve Campbell wrote: Terrible man isn't he.
I really wish Monkey hadn;t suggested a charity gig....I was just writing 3 bottles of best bubbly into the sound rider for you. But even i'm not mean enough to steal from charity.
EDIT: fook me I'm out of practice.....I'll have a cable bag....we can bring the shit in from Tesco for you, but one glass behind the bar, and pop over to the canford audio rackmounted wine cooler for refills. No, really.... http://www.canford.co.uk/commerce/productdetails.aspx?productid=11-231
Spec'd for the BBC no doubt.
Well I shall be on the champagne, so feel free to bring as much as you like!
oldmonkey wrote:
Steve Campbell wrote: Terrible man isn't he.
I really wish Monkey hadn;t suggested a charity gig....I was just writing 3 bottles of best bubbly into the sound rider for you. But even i'm not mean enough to steal from charity.
EDIT: fook me I'm out of practice.....I'll have a cable bag....we can bring the shit in from Tesco for you, but one glass behind the bar, and pop over to the canford audio rackmounted wine cooler for refills. No, really.... http://www.canford.co.uk/commerce/productdetails.aspx?productid=11-231
Spec'd for the BBC no doubt.
Well I shall be on the champagne, so feel free to bring as much as you like!
Not for me, strictly for my personal assistant and travelling minstrel missy jem. I have a date with Maya and a bottle of somthing toxic later that night, I don't think she knows that yet mind you. What? none of you ever wanted to trade shot of vodka with a hot chick with an eastern european accent?
:D
ahhhh, I see the doorman's BRINGING my coat.
EDIT: see that Gnu....playing the percentages ;)
Rocket Mick wrote: Does using a BLOW UP Marigold count.At least it is MINTY MINT.
Sorry, Rocket, I don't think a blow-up marigold can do to much, but neither can a blow up Martin Gore. Maybe a blow-up Andy Fletcher would be more interesting.
none of your business.
This being the net thingy I could say 5 min ago, half an hour ago etc, but won't.
twist wrote:
Oh and in response to the topic...
Been some time, eh Missy?
Actually no, i'm just a lady, pure and simple (well maybe not pure, but definitely simple)!
Missy Jem wrote:
twist wrote:
Oh and in response to the topic...
Been some time, eh Missy?
Actually no, i'm just a lady, pure and simple (well maybe not pure, but definitely simple)!
yeah sounds it!!
Steve Campbell wrote: I have a date with Maya and a bottle of somthing toxic later that night, I don't think she knows that yet mind you.
Judging from her profile photos, Maya's been Touched By The Hand of Shug.
Face it son -- she's tainted goods.
john kershaw wrote:
Missy Jem wrote:
twist wrote:
Oh and in response to the topic...
Been some time, eh Missy?
Actually no, i'm just a lady, pure and simple (well maybe not pure, but definitely simple)!
yeah sounds it!!
Shut it you or i'll pull your ears off...
:( Sorry:\ohwell: :)
You lot are terrible to poor little Maya......Jem, look at the sort of things they'll be saying about you one day. (probably tomorrow :) )
Steve Campbell wrote: You lot are terrible to poor little Maya......Jem, look at the sort of things they'll be saying about you one day. (probably tomorrow :) )
Ooooh, they are awful.
I don't have a degree in chemistry, but it's clear that Mr. Campbell and Missy Jem should be lab partners.
Gnu Odor wrote: I don't have a degree in chemistry, but it's clear that Mr. Campbell and Missy Jem should be lab partners.
Lab pals we've decided on!
Don't make me go back to trying to set up Trevor!
I ain't goin' back there! You can't make me! I'll kill myself and take the lot of you with me before I'll go back there, I swear it!
Steve Campbell wrote: Absolutely, lots of chemistry, but we'll leave the biology thanks :)
That's a clever way of putting it! You're not as thick as you look!
yeah, like ANYONE could be as thick as I look. if I was as thick as I looked, i'd have forgot to breathe long ago.
You, having jumped out of a perfectly servicable aircraft for no reason, clearly are every bit as tick as you look , so there. :D
Gnu Odor wrote:
Judging from her profile photos, Maya's been Touched By The Hand of Shug.
Face it son -- she's tainted goods.
STALK alert!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
NObabe wrote:
Gnu Odor wrote:
Judging from her profile photos, Maya's been Touched By The Hand of Shug.
Face it son -- she's tainted goods.
STALK alert!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That's OK Maya ... I don't mind if you stalk me.
Oct (edited..accidently wrote Nov..I wish!). 31st, about 9 am pacific...:( soon though! my bf comes back from BC on the 22nd
Missy Jem wrote: Oh and in response to the topic...
None of your goddamn business!
it is our business....
last time i did it was friday just gone,with my ex,but only cause hes got a top bod,knows my bod,and we dont feel we have to commit,hes an ex from years ago,it just happened what can i say....except i didnt come...bummer
Ben wrote: Twice last week-end. It hadn't been so good for a long time
from the way you've described your sex life in the past it never appears to be bad or even mediocre, ben.
AgentWood wrote:
Ben wrote: Twice last week-end. It hadn't been so good for a long time
from the way you've described your sex life in the past it never appears to be bad or even mediocre, ben.
What I've described happened 5 years ago during my honeymoon. Passion tends to vanish as times goes by... My wife and I have been together for 9 years, married for 5 and we have a child. Believe me, my sexual life is not like it used to be during the good ol'days of our relationship. 
But, sometimes, there's a spark that sets us alight. Like this week-end.
