OMG...I hate spammers....why do they do it. Who would buy software from a spam...who would think "you know...my cock IS a little small, I'll send this guy money".

And as for all the fucking variants of our old mate the Nigerian 419 scam...jeez.

But my absolute favourite ever...is when someone send you a spam claming to be from your domain owner...."admin@domain.huh" or something..."your account has cancer, or has been used to start a war, or vote for Bush or something like that" That's all well and good...except slightlynarrow.co.uk is mine and recently someone fucking infected winbox somewhere has started hitting random addresses on that domain...so I now get about 30 mails an hour apparently from "me" all directed to users I don't have, all saying things like "your account has been suspended". It's getting really tedious. tossers.

BTW on a serious and NOOL related note regarding spam.....owning my own domain means I use a seperate email adress for every site I provide one to, that way when the spam starts flowing, I know who's been naughty...or daft at least. Guess what the number ONE spam receiver is? yup nool@slightlynarrow.co.uk

Me thinks spotty need to give his robots.txt some teeth or a gun or something.

An example..... Dear user mary,

You have successfully updated the password of your Slightlynarrow account.

If you did not authorize this change or if you need assistance with your account, please contact Slightlynarrow customer service at: mail@slightlynarrow.co.uk

Thank you for using Slightlynarrow! The Slightlynarrow Support Team

+++ Attachment: No Virus (Clean) +++ Slightlynarrow Antivirus - www.slightlynarrow.co.uk

Of course the attachment is a win32 executable...they always make me want to start a vmware session on my linux box with a virgin windows in it, and just let the wee fooker loose.
I was pondering "Who would run this program?" but of course...feckin Outhouse will do it for you wont it :D

needless to say alightlynarrow customer support is (or WOULD be) a bad tempered man from NI who screams "if you don't like it fack off" :D

Most of the ones I've gotten lately involve me winning some massive lottery haul. Nevermind the fact that I've never played my odds in the lottery.

Because that Shirley Jackson story scared the shit out of me, and I don't want to run the risk of getting stoned (literally)

can't say I've read it :D

yeah I been getting a lot of lottery ones too and just before xmas loads of fake E-card things...not trmendoulsy clever...even the world's largest retard is gonna work out that there can be no card since neither link no mail has a unique was to identify you.

I suppose that come and go in waves because windows machines get sick as a new spamming virus escapes, then they wave subsides as the antivirus software catches up (or the machines die...no tears from me, if you can't control it, get it off the net)

I suppose if only one person in a million is retarded enough to think any of those moronic scams are for real....and you;ve sent 100million spams from your army of zombied winboxen, you could do OK. And as for those scammed? no sympaty, a fool and his cash etc etc..and besdes if you are that stupid you'd probably have spent it on a gun to shoot yourself in the foot with, or some poison to drink...or a car, that like the computer you wont bother how to learn to use.

Steve Campbell wrote: can't say I've read it :D

yeah I been getting a lot of lottery ones too and just before xmas loads of fake E-card things...not trmendoulsy clever...even the world's largest retard is gonna work out that there can be no card since neither link no mail has a unique was to identify you.

I suppose that come and go in waves because windows machines get sick as a new spamming virus escapes, then they wave subsides as the antivirus software catches up (or the machines die...no tears from me, if you can't control it, get it off the net)

I suppose if only one person in a million is retarded enough to think any of those moronic scams are for real....and you;ve sent 100million spams from your army of zombied winboxen, you could do OK. And as for those scammed? no sympaty, a fool and his cash etc etc..and besdes if you are that stupid you'd probably have spent it on a gun to shoot yourself in the foot with, or some poison to drink...or a car, that like the computer you wont bother how to learn to use.

I got one from some bloke asking if he could put shit loads of Money in mt account. He was from zimbabwe, and fled the country with the money from his business, and was now living in the UK. He could not get a bank account so was seeing if he could use someone elses bank account. You'd receive a chunk of the money- yeah right!

sounds like that robbin *@$* twat who was nickin cheque books from the post office.

john kershaw wrote: sounds like that robbin *@$* twat who was nickin cheque books from the post office.

What's the odds that someone got in touch with him though to offer their bank account????

Oh, and the odds on Everton smashing Liverpool tonight???

That's a variation of the "419" (called that after the laws set up to combat it in Nigeria where it originated.) i've had some beauty's, everything from African royalty to a taxi driver on the run with a suitcase of drug money.

I try to read the 419's in particular, because the English is usually satisfyingly "all your base are belong to us", and the stories are so good you wonder why the guys aren;t making millions selling scripts.

There is always some fucktard who'll pay up...hell slap it into them ....as me granny used to say.

i like the ones that go, re: something yada yada yada.

so when i open them up they offer me cheap meds inc viagra (not that i need it). Yes, they usuallay are badly spelled. i no longer open any mail from anybody i don't know. for some reason i only get those at work, where we are supposed to have excellent internet protection.

Got a spam-filter on my mailbox, I don't even notice that sh..tuff. But it's unbelievable how many I get every day. Must be about 110, split on two adresses which I only have for dubious "have-to-register"-websites (like NOOL ).

I have pretty good filtering too....but i always browse the junk folder, just in case of false positives.

the only things that seem to elude my junk filter are the "cheap oem software" ones....maybe if i made some effort to tech it about them it'd help :D

i just got one supposedly from thc cia. now i know i haven't been that bad. the cia homepage has it listed as a fake e-mail. luckily my virus protection cut off the attachemet. if you get it do not open the attachment and delete it. the attachement contains a nasty virus. now i know it is a fake as i can not reply to it.

I can try and open the attatchments al I like :D windows viri only make windows sick!

Steve Campbell wrote: I can try and open the attatchments al I like :D windows viri only make windows sick!

just imagine where you would be without a functioning computer. you wouldn't be her 24/7 for starters.

I thought about that u know :D I had 3 weeks of netlessness when we moved house....horrible.

-- virus begins here -------- !#/bin/sh

Honour virus

Dear Linux/*BSD user,

As you have avoided the various virii inflicted upon your poor

Windows-using cousins, please take a moment to read this letter and

then follow the instructions below.

In the spirit of cooperation of the free software community, this

virus was written to depend on your cooperation and good will - hence

the name "honour" virus. With your cooperation, this virus can spread

as rapidly as the lovebug virus, once again showing how the free

software community can respond to issues quicker than the largest

propriatary software maker.

The virus starts here:

1. Please delete, at random, 10 (ten) .jpg, .mpg, .mp3, or .mov files from

your hard drive. Please do not choose files for which you have a

backup, as that would be unfair to all the Windows users who *never*

backup their data.

2. Please send this email to everybody you have ever received an email

from. We realise that you might have to write a short shell script to

do this easily, but we feel that, as a Linux or *BSD user, you are

most likely to be able to do this without relying on built-in insecure

scripting mechanisms.

3. If you are reading this in your workplace, please shut down your

workplace's email system and internet access for 3 working days -

again this is just so we can empathise fully with Windows-using

companies.

4. When asked if the writers of Linux or *BSD are to blame, claim that

the virus only spread because of intervention by the user's brain and

that the tight integration between your wetware and the OS is a good

thing that is misused by malicious virus writers.

5. If you are Linux Torvalds, Alan Cox, or you have ever written any

free software, write an essay for Time magazine complaining that it

will be much harder to protect Linux users from virii such as this

unless Linux is sold to company asnd development continues only in a

closed-source environment. In particular, all user knowledge of the OS

must be erased if such virii are to be prevented in the future.

6. As this virus is copylefted under the GPL, feel free to modify,

err, mutate, and distribute widely.

Thank you. And remember, open source virii are far superior to

proprietary virii!

Tuxunamis Infectious

My ISP does not do a good job filtering out SPAM. I just click the "DELETE ALL" button.

Around 95% of my emails get deleted before I open 'owt!