Woah! Scary bloke tried to get into my house tonight!

Was just watching a bit of My Name Is Earl when someone tried to put a key in the lock of my front door and gain entry.Thought it was my bro at first then realised he was upstairs.Shouted at him to fuck off and he did but then he tried again 10 minutes later.Shouted at him through the letterbox to piss off and he stumbled back up the street.He then started trying other front doors with a bunch of keys.Fuck this i decided and phoned the cops.

They arrived pretty quickly and got him.The guy was pissed out of his skull and was trying to find a place to kip.Was trying loads of houses with a set of keys.

Slightly unnerving.

Johnny wrote: Was just watching a bit of My Name Is Earl when someone tried to put a key in the lock of my front door and gain entry.Thought it was my bro at first then realised he was upstairs.Shouted at him to fuck off and he did but then he tried again 10 minutes later.Shouted at him through the letterbox to piss off and he stumbled back up the street.He then started trying other front doors with a bunch of keys.Fuck this i decided and phoned the cops.

They arrived pretty quickly and got him.The guy was pissed out of his skull and was trying to find a place to kip.Was trying loads of houses with a set of keys.

Slightly unnerving.

Johnny! It was me!

I didn't know you had scruffy hair and a beard.And a Scottish accent.And what was in that plastic carrier bag of yours then?.All very mysterious.

streets are full of scrotes.

On my way to Boozebusters before (weird eh?) I spotted an oppurtunist car thief trying out locks on a road next to mine, so I slowed and got eye contact and gave a 'knowing' nod. Just so he knew he'd been sussed and fook off out of my area.

I've had so many car thefts/break ins it doesnt really bother me that much now. But fortunately nothing on my house, that would really shit me up. A mate chased out some burglars out of his house only a couple of months back, then chased them in his car. He lost them but 3 days later his house was a crime scene as a neighbour had been stabbed to death for a Merc, the cops thought they may have been the same twats so were looking for forensics.

Also heard (poss an urban myth) about burglars that put a pan of water to boil on the cooker when they start. Reason being if you come down with a hammer they chuck boiling water over you. Nice.

So the next time you confront burglars with a hammer....take an umbrella!

Serioulsy though Johnny, you did the right thing.

Maybe i should hide all the pans before i go to bed at night then.

Johnny wrote: I didn't know you had scruffy hair and a beard.And a Scottish accent.

Meets the description of most of the Corby inhabitants, including the women.

Johnny wrote: Maybe i should hide all the pans before i go to bed at night then.

Damn! You got me!

You did the right thing. I was at the cemetery, 2 years ago, and some people broke into my car and stole my bag and all my CDs. They took, mostly, New Order stuff! I'm sure to scum like that, it meant nothing, but i lost lots of sentimental stuff! I was with my son as well. Did not go down, as you can well imagine

You done the right thing

:)

this break in sht is universal. glad that you all were oKay afterwards that's obviously the main thing. the best stuff nobody can steal but it still can mess up the mind.

JW wrote: this break in sht is universal. glad that you all were oKay afterwards that's obviously the main thing. the best stuff nobody can steal but it still can mess up the mind.

True! as long as you are safe:) It is the most important thing. I had my son with me, was swearing my head off, then realised, i was alone, in a cemetary, and they were still there watching me! Got the fuck out!!!!!

Bonzette wrote:

You done the right thing

:)

Thanks but there was no way i was gonna open the door!!!.The only option was to call the cops.

On reflection i just think he was pissed out of his skull and didn't know where he was or what he was doing.Looked incapable of being a burglar.

But at the time he was a madman trying to get into my house.Good job i always keep my doors locked obviously.

But i'll leave the door on the latch for you next time ,Bonz

Bronson had the right idea..

Bronson only started killing after his wife and daughter were raped and murdered and tea bagged.

Johnny wrote:

Bonzette wrote:

You done the right thing

:)

Thanks but there was no way i was gonna open the door!!!.The only option was to call the cops.

On reflection i just think he was pissed out of his skull and didn't know where he was or what he was doing.Looked incapable of being a burglar.

But at the time he was a madman trying to get into my house.Good job i always keep my doors locked obviously.

But i'll leave the door on the latch for you next time ,Bonz

Don't tease me, Johnny! Don't want people to know you are my fave!

twist wrote: Bronson only started killing after his wife and daughter were raped and murdered and tea bagged.

wouldnt you?

Barney Army wrote:

twist wrote: Bronson only started killing after his wife and daughter were raped and murdered and tea bagged.

wouldnt you?

Something tells me Chuck was itching for a good excuse anyway. Could've been a misplaced onion ring in his French fries that set him off, you never know

But you don't have to worry about Charles Bronson anymore, children. He's gone off to the great perp-bustin' gang-warfare-ridden wasteland in the sky :violent2:

Quite a surreal story on this very topic.....

About 9 years ago I was lying in bed with my bird of the time at her gaff. She'd just moved in a few weeks earlier. It was about 10AM and we heard a banging noise from the close. We though it was someone shutting the door of the flat next door very loudly and ignored it.

Two minutes later we hear an even louder bang followed by a crashing sound so I get up to investigate. Being a useless female she had nothing suitable lying about the house to act as a weapon so I actually went out armed with the only thing I could find that looked big....a bit of laminate flooring!

I pulled open her close door and there were two lads at the flat opposite, less than 4 feet from where I was standing in me pants with my bit of balsa wood. They'd booted in the door and were just climbing through the broken wood when they saw me and scarpered (fuck knows why, I wasn't equipped to tackle anyone!).

Anyway, fast forward about five years to when I get introduced to legendary New Order superfan and "fixer" Johnathan Scott for the very first time. Being from the same neck of the woods we got talking about stuff and he mentioned the street he was living in. Low and behold it was the same street and close as my ex. And yes, it was his flat that I saved from getting tanned five years earlier!!!

The most bizarre thing about it was that I practically lived in that flat for best part of 4 years without realising that the bloke next door was the mythical Johan Scott. We just knew him as the fella next door who smoked hash in the close at 5 in the morning and wrote angry notes to all the neighbours about people banging the close door and waking up his kid!

The bastard's still never bought me a drink!!!! If your out there JS drop me a line and you can rectify the situation.

Weird shit ,Glas

My friend and I got into a spot of bother on the way home from the pub the other night. Four guys and one 'girl' bravely started attacked us from behind. Showing the sort of spirit that made this country great, they spunkily fcuked off once they started getting hurt. Left me with a lovely black eye and my mate with a painfully broken shoulder though, so it wasn't a completely wasted night for them.

I'm not suggesting for one second that they wouldn't have been so bold if there'd been a couple more of us, or fewer of them, or if we hadn't been completely pissed, but it makes you think, doesn't it.

In the words of their 'lady' friend - LEEEAVE IT!!!

We hold large parties round the coast every couple of years.

One year these Spide (chav,ned) types arrived. Being the kind souls we are, not a eyelid was batted and they were made welcome. For our hospitality they repaid us by.... Stealing £40 from a pregnant woman. Stealing another girl's bit of hash Stealing untold amounts of drink, not just "minesweeping" but lifting bags and bottles and stashing them elsewhere (we recovered some later) But the real beauty, was just what you were talking about..... numbers.... While there were 75 of us and 5 of them, they were limited to stealing. But after they left to consume their ill gotten booze away from all those revolting friendly people and disgusting music, one of our number went off in search of firewood. Half an hour later he came literally crawling accross the rocks back to us, completely mashed up. % on 1 is much better odds. He spent nearly a week in hospital with cracked ribs, concussion and a cracked but not broken arm. We caught up with them and doled out a modicum of justice, to the classic Northern Ireland arsehole soundtrack of "I'll have yous shot, do you know who my a is?" (the only reply of course being "no, do you?"). But I ended up having to stop one of our large friends from actually beating one of them with half a tree, it would have been fatal I'm sure...... the perfect way to end it, one of US on charges, luckily I stoped him (then when the wee wanker was thanking me, laid him out with a good foot to the face).

Impressive how quick they run off tho when out (or even equally) numbered. Which led some mates of mine to work out that the best plan when getting grief from them, is just to walk up to the biggest, ugliest one, and floor him. The rest, seeing the alpha male defeated will panic.

As for weirdos at your door. I used to live between 2 houseloads of mad happy hardcore types...and on 3 or 4 occassions I ended up with lost guests, oushing my front door open (wonky door) and arriving in my bedroom! Not nice.

I have a bad feeling my evil neighbour who I never let shag me is stealing the cds Diggy Mike sends me. Psycho!