An Ethical Dilemma of National Proportions...:uhoh:

Okay, the girl I love is not breaking up with her boyfriend anytime soon, and I've begun to give consideration to the idea of going out with someone else to 1.) alleviate the loneliness I feel at not being able to be with my girl and 2.) to see if I just suck at dating, or if I could be really good at it.

Also, there's the possibility that the girl I love will get insanely jealous once she sees me with someone else and realizes that we belong together

(hey, it's what I tell myself at night to sleep better Don't judge me).

Anyway, would that be "good" on my part to do so? I'm not going to date just anyone, I have to be attracted to whatever girl it is I do decide to go out with. But I really don't want to do it just to make my girl jealous. It's just that maybe if she saw me with someone else, she'd realize what we could have if I wasn't cursed with a stiff metal body (revelation: I'm actually C3-PO).

So, you make the call...

It's also good to date someone just to have sex, too. So why not?

It's only unethical if you're using the person you're dating.

So let's say you make a pact with a gal pal to help you make Ms. Wonderful-but-not-as-wonderful-as-Mrs. Peel jealous. Not unethical, because she knows what the date is about, and has agreed to help you. All's fair in love and war, they say.

Now let's say you'd like to make Ms. Wonderful-but-not-as-wonderful-as-Mrs. Peel jealous, but you don't tell the girl you're dating. Unethical? It is if you have no interest in the girl you're dating. It's totally unfair to her.

But what if you want to make Ms. Wonderful-but-not-as-wonderful-as-Mrs. Peel jealous, and you also happen to like the girl you're dating, but you don't tell her that you're trying to make Ms. Wonderful-but-not-as-wonderful-as-Mrs. Peel jealous? Hmmm, looks like a GREY AREA. On the one hand, you owe it to your date to not have conflicting agendas. On the other hand, it's just a date, not a committed relationship, and you haven't led her on about anything. The key to keeping it ethical is to be fair to your date-- to not use her as a prop in your Piggly-Wiggly psychodrama. So you date her, and if it makes Ms. Wonderful-but-not-as-wonderful-as-Mrs. Peel jealous, great, but ONLY if you're genuinely interested in the girl you're dating. And that's the conflicting agendas part-- if it's not already unethical, it has the potential to become unethical. So unless you can be fair to your date, you shouldn't date her.

Now let's say that you meet a new girl you'd like to get to know better, because she may be somebody who could be a new Ms. Wonderful-but-still-not-as-wonderful-as-Mrs. Peel, so you ask her out, and you have no conflicting agendas. You genuinely want to go out with the new Ms. Wonderful-but-still-not-as-wonderful-as-Mrs. Peel. Ethical, even if, as an added bonus, the old Ms. Wonderful-but-not-as-wonderful-as-Mrs. Peel discovers she's jealous. Completely ethical.

no. unless you're a teenager; then it's kind of expected. there's no reason to date an uncle fester look-alike just to get someone to notice you. ok, bad example--they would certainly notice that. but not in a good way.

Comrade Shampanyov wrote: It's only unethical if you're using the person you're dating.

So let's say you make a pact with a gal pal to help you make Ms. Wonderful-but-not-as-wonderful-as-Mrs. Peel jealous. Not unethical, because she knows what the date is about, and has agreed to help you. All's fair in love and war, they say.

Now let's say you'd like to make Ms. Wonderful-but-not-as-wonderful-as-Mrs. Peel jealous, but you don't tell the girl you're dating. Unethical? It is if you have no interest in the girl you're dating. It's totally unfair to her.

But what if you want to make Ms. Wonderful-but-not-as-wonderful-as-Mrs. Peel jealous, and you also happen to like the girl you're dating, but you don't tell her that you're trying to make Ms. Wonderful-but-not-as-wonderful-as-Mrs. Peel jealous? Hmmm, looks like a GREY AREA. On the one hand, you owe it to your date to not have conflicting agendas. On the other hand, it's just a date, not a committed relationship, and you haven't led her on about anything. The key to keeping it ethical is to be fair to your date-- to not use her as a prop in your Piggly-Wiggly psychodrama. So you date her, and if it makes Ms. Wonderful-but-not-as-wonderful-as-Mrs. Peel jealous, great, but ONLY if you're genuinely interested in the girl you're dating. And that's the conflicting agendas part-- if it's not already unethical, it has the potential to become unethical. So unless you can be fair to your date, you shouldn't date her.

Now let's say that you meet a new girl you'd like to get to know better, because she may be somebody who could be a new Ms. Wonderful-but-still-not-as-wonderful-as-Mrs. Peel, so you ask her out, and you have no conflicting agendas. You genuinely want to go out with the new Ms. Wonderful-but-still-not-as-wonderful-as-Mrs. Peel. Ethical, even if, as an added bonus, the old Ms. Wonderful-but-not-as-wonderful-as-Mrs. Peel discovers she's jealous. Completely ethical.

Wow, my head hurts now... :(

I definitely couldn't go out with someone just to make the other girl jealous. I'd have to be attracted to this other girl (and I don't really have one in mind yet, so this is a hypothetical question)

Well, it's either that or "put in a fake transfer request" to another store nearby (which I might actually do, now that I think about it)

AgentWood wrote: no. unless you're a teenager; then it's kind of expected. there's no reason to date an uncle fester look-alike just to get someone to notice you. ok, bad example--they would certainly notice that. but not in a good way.

Tabbsy's just going through teenage-hood now. Bit of a late bloomer.

But you're right, he's not going to be making anybody jealous with Uncle Fester on his arm. Well, maybe a gay goth, but we all know Tabbsy's not attracted to gay goths. He's attracted to sheep.

Fairly obvious that you are not going to get your crush. Time to move on. And if she gets jealous, bonus points. But do not hurt or use another woman for you teenage wildlife dreams.

It sounds like your agenda is really to make Ms. Wonderful-but-still-not-as-wonderful-as-Mrs. Peel jealous by dating Ms. X (let's give her a name, shall we?). In that scenario, I think you'd be using Ms. X, and to me that would be unforgiveable.

You can't force someone to feel something or to express an emotion, if they aren't ready, willing and able to do so. Maybe Ms. Wonderful-but-still-not-as-wonderful-as-Mrs. Peel simply isn't ready for a relationship with you, and your actions of dating Ms. X to make Ms. Wonderful-but-still-not-as-wonderful-as-Mrs. Peel jealous will only make things worse.

If, however, you genuinely like Ms. X and you want to explore that option, that's ethical. But if you do date Ms. X, I think you need to make a serious effort in letting go of Ms. Wonderful-but-still-not-as-wonderful-as-Mrs. Peel (which it doesn't sound like you're willing to do quite yet).

I think you need to simplify matters, instead of complicating your life. Deal with your emotions/issues/relationship with Ms. Wonderful-but-still-not-as-wonderful-as-Mrs. Peel first.

get over her. go and date, but not for her.

Yeah, Taboo #7, I would even give you my ex-girlfriend to date, if we lived nearby. Ronald is right. Time to move on. Grab some gal and establish a new sparkling relation. As old as the world.

[orange]|| | ||| 6217|| 8 || 3[/orange] wrote: Yeah, Taboo #7, I would even give you my ex-girlfriend to date, if we lived nearby. Ronald is right. Time to move on. Grab some gal and establish a new sparkling relation. As old as the world.

damn for a moment i thought you were offering me one of your old girlfriends. :D

Ronald Kirsch wrote:

[orange]|| | ||| 6217|| 8 || 3[/orange] wrote: Yeah, Taboo #7, I would even give you my ex-girlfriend to date, if we lived nearby. Ronald is right. Time to move on. Grab some gal and establish a new sparkling relation. As old as the world.

damn for a moment i thought you were offering me one of your old girlfriends. :D

H a ha, that is funny

Move on - I had a horrible string of luck with the ladies and one final crush too far made me go crazy for a bit and approach dating from a totally different point of view and totally different from how I had ever done before - used to fall for friends - had to have the friendship thing first but then it all got too messy and weird... So I just thought go for someone you don't know and then you've got nothing to lose and me and the result of this new philosophy are still together 3 yars later and very happy... Move on, and someone wonderful will come along...

Best of luck...

Snorri xxx

Snorrimon wrote: Move on - I had a horrible string of luck with the ladies and one final crush too far made me go crazy for a bit and approach dating from a totally different point of view and totally different from how I had ever done before - used to fall for friends - had to have the friendship thing first but then it all got too messy and weird... So I just thought go for someone you don't know and then you've got nothing to lose and me and the result of this new philosophy are still together 3 yars later and very happy... Move on, and someone wonderful will come along...

Best of luck...

Snorri xxx

I think Snorri said it best.

I think mr Barcode got it most right. Rupe je rupe: 'dating' is fun.

Whether or not it's morally correct to go out with one person in order to make the other person jealous and therefore want to be with you, it's not going to work. So rather than worrying about your moral code, I would worry about how unhappy you're going to be when it doesn't work.

Move on, mate. Everyone knows that women only like blokes that aren't very interested in them. So lose interest and she'll be all over you!

The last paragraph isn't true either, sorry about that. There are no rules, people either want to shag you or they don't. It's hard to force people to change their minds, getting in with someone else is certianly no place to start.

After much thought and internal debate, I have come to a decision...stop posting stuff about my personal life online :p

That, and I can't just date someone to make another girl jealous. Maybe it means I'm a failure as a man, but so be it. It doesn't sit well with me.

Ronald Kirsch wrote: get over her. go and date, but not for her.

Completely with Ron on this, likewise with the other great advice being offered. Date someone you like, date someone you think you'd like to have a go with - never date for jealousy or revenge, because people are dense and never see what you're trying to make them jealous of anyways.

But have fun with this gal if you like her. Just explore and relax and give the two of you a chance for a good time, even if it is just one date in the end.

Practice - it does make perfect.

Dude, you need to get laid.

Taboo # 7 wrote: After much thought and internal debate, I have come to a decision...stop posting stuff about my personal life online :p

That, and I can't just date someone to make another girl jealous. Maybe it means I'm a failure as a man, but so be it. It doesn't sit well with me.

any updates tabsy?

the title of this thread sounds like a line from a fall record