The Mormon's are knocking at my door

I won't open it

But they're fun to talk to if you need some entertainment..! :)

They gave up on this lost soul :)

Sheddy wrote: I won't open it

Give them my address.

I'm upset with you Sheddy...you know you are meant to say "nosebeast" to mormons, so that they eventually believe in a global conspiracie of the nasal nightmare.

aww.. they're nice people actually.i worked in a bicycle shop when i first left school.the Mormon's would come in with their cycles if they ever needed them repairing and were always very polite:)

Sheddy wrote: aww.. they're nice people actually.i worked in a bicycle shop when i first left school.the Mormon's would come in with their cycles if they ever needed them repairing and were always very polite:)

Good manners are not an excuse for mental illness!

My ma used to silence them a treat...."two religions in this country is enough, once they sort things out I'll convert"...cue dejected mormons leaving.

we used to see them coming and put deicide on and stuff, and while i would answer the dor, mates would wonder by in godflesh and gwar t-shirts and call from upstairs " man hurry up, the chicken's bleeding all over the pentagram and washing it away" and "ask if they're virgins we need a couple of those"...very childish.....but then so is going to people's doors and saying "would you like to believe in a fairy tale even more retarded than the ones you may already suffer from"

EDIT: actually my mate used to have this turboprod (you don;t have them in England, I hope, but here we have all sorts of fuctard prod sects who think that the prods of ulster are the lost and never mentioned 13th tribe of Isreal...no really...and other such whacky shit..most of them make Oliver Cromwell look like a right laugh) church about 100yrds up the street....and they SPAMMED him with those little "are you tired of an empty life, then why not piss your rationality and education up the wall and follow a carpenter who got nailed to a tree for saying "be nice to each other"" leaflets.....so after a couple of years we retaliated, we never did use the Nosebeast ones we made, we DID carry a few in our pockets hoping for mormons but you can never find the cunts when yer lookin....but we DID put things through the churches door like.... "hey, tired of the same old tunes on a sunday...then why not go out on saturaday night and take 14 E's and dance yer baps off til monday" and "jesus letting you down? not delivering the paradise he promised?....then whay not try Satan, yes that's right folks the prince of darkess will accept YOUR soul and give you a free pen if you convert from jesus" and so on. Again...most childish.

I like how they always have name tags.

kozz wrote: I like how they always have name tags.

I'm pretty sure they don't over here. Maybe that's cos hammered fuckwits taking the piss is the least of their worries...they must hear "fack aff or al have yee shat" a hundred times a day.

I think someone got inspired by my user name.

We get Jehovah's Witnesses (or Jo-Ho's) in these parts, I can remember how Mom or the grands would make us hide behind the couch while they were ringing the bell, for fear that they might come in and corrupt the children

Then they'd turn the TV back to "Pee-Wee's Playhouse"

Sheddy wrote: I won't open it

it is just marketing, everybodys trying to sell something even if it is religion, why not?

I just say 'I'm a devout Roman Cathoilc' and they hurry off.

Christopher Owens wrote: I just say 'I'm a devout Roman Cathoilc' and they hurry off.

Why, I mean it's not like yer a priest and gonna touch their pert little bums or anything? :D What's the deal? Vatican pays protection money or something?

Ever since Donny Osmond got beaten up by a Catholic, they've had an agenda against them.

Christopher Owens wrote: Ever since Donny Osmond got beaten up by a Catholic, they've had an agenda against them.

hehehehe. that's all well and good till you meet armed Mormons, but I'll keep it in mind.

They must be if they're still at Johnny's door.

Lock them in the shed Johnny.

State of Love and Trust wrote: Lock them in the shed Johnny.

LOL...first guess on Sat morning then (if I can get near computer) "two decomposing American mindwipe victims"

[magenta]cozmonite61[/magenta] wrote: I think someone got inspired by my user name.

what? what's that got to do with Mormon's?

i just tell them i'm right for religion, and aske them if they believe in the bible. they haven't bothered me in years.

NOOLigan wrote: i just tell them i'm right for religion, and aske them if they believe in the bible. they haven't bothered me in years.

Most religions like The Mormons, Jevovah etc seem to be cults imho

Ed Dalder wrote:

NOOLigan wrote: i just tell them i'm right for religion, and aske them if they believe in the bible. they haven't bothered me in years.

Most religions like The Mormons, Jevovah etc seem to be cults imho

if anyone knows the exact number of members required before you aren't a cult, please tell me. Cos really, it's membership that counts, if there's 50 of you, people can call you a cult....but if there's 500 million of you, you're a church and your fairy stories have been proved or something, I am not sure of the actual mechanics of it.

Sheddy wrote:

[magenta]cozmonite61[/magenta] wrote: I think someone got inspired by my user name.

what? what's that got to do with Mormon's?

good question..bumping this up for Cozzie's attention..

DO pay attention 007 someone above, fresh meat in fact is calling themselves Kozz.

I assume that's what she means. My what an exciting existence Cozzie must lead...and that's from the inmate of cellblock Steve's-room.

Back in my formative college days, we had a problem with these Mormons coming twice a week for a 4 month period. When Mormons came by I saw them walking up the stairs toour apartment, I ran into my roommates room (who was heavy into goth) and grabbed this book of his. It was leather-bound with a real weathered look, and had this pentagram embossed on the cover. I answered the door, they asked if I want to talk. My reply was "sure, let's talk about my religon" as I showed them the book. They had the most frightened faces and ran out of there, stumbling down the stairs. Never saw them again. Might work in your case as well.

JHC

What are MORMONS?A chocolate biscuit!

Rocket Mick wrote: What are MORMONS?A chocolate biscuit!

Not quite, but it IS fucking enjoyable to dunk them in boiling liquid :D

i used to go to school with a mormon, back in my primary school days never knew what it was always thought she was a moomin after that kids tv program

I once lived directly opposite a Mormon church, they never bothered me, instead the Jehovah's witnesses would regularly come knocking. I used to try and persuade them to go and convert the Mormons instead, but they never did, which seemed a bit defeatist of them. Why is it us non-believers are considered fair game for conversion but rival faiths are left alone out of some sort of professional courtesy?

Rocket Mick wrote: What are MORMONS?A chocolate biscuit!

I am not a Mormon, but this is what I know. Please correct me if I am wrong.

Mormons are an offshoot of the protestant religon of Christianity. They believe that the Angel Moroni came to John (forgot his last name) in the 1800's, and told him to find the promised land. He traveled with his group of followers and ended up in Salt Lake City Utah. Their religon includes Christianity, but also deals with this trip and American history (for instance, the founding fathers were supposely visted by the Angel Maroni and told them to break away from Britian).

As a practicing religon, back in the day they believed in poligomy. That how ever changed due to American law against it. They tend to have very large families (usually 6-9 children) and have very strong family values. For the most part they aren't interested in converting people (though they want the heathens to believe in what they believe). Once the males turn 18 (or graduate HS), they go on whats called a mission. It is 1 year that they go to a 3rd world country, and do humanitarian work. Once this is done the males officially advance as permenant members of the church.

The temples are beautiful and are offlimits to the public (unless you can see them before they are blessed, if you get a chance highly recommend it. saw the one in San Diego and it was unbelievably beautiful, unlike any other temple/church out there). It is broken into many rooms and you can only get into them depending how highly ranked ypu are in the temple. The biggest temple of course is in Salt Lake City, which is their Mecca.

Hope this helps.

JHC JHC

The founder's name was Joseph Smith. Did a report on him in high school.

Now, I have heard about "The Lost Children," Mormon children who are ousted by their communities for being secular, or being a threat in competition to get Mormon women. Not all Mormons are bad, but it creeps me out that some sects make people go back to the 1800s.

two. peas. pod.