REVENGE!

Don't worry, this isn't for the Music For Pleasure Forum. This is the hardcore stuff! What's the best revenge story you've heard? Whether it was against an ex, boss, bully, whoever.

My colleague's best friend is gay, and he had been seeing this bloke for a while. This bloke was a Manager at some call centre in Manchester and apparently everything was going well for the two of them until my mate found out he'd been shagging some other bloke behind his back.

After digging around some more he also found out that not only was this guy shagging around, he was also married with kids (who had no idea of course) as he was still very much in the closet.

This guy was absolutely mad as hell. He's usually straight acting and you wouldn't guess he was gay, but he said he minced into this guys office as camp as possible and in full view of his staff shouted,

"You dirty old bastard, you've been shagging about behind my back. You're a crap shag anyway and your dicks fucking tiny!" Before mincing back out!

This guys staff just sat there opened mouthed and astonished having just had their boss outed in front of them. I'm sure some of you will disapprove but I thought it was quality!!

[magenta]Missy Jem[/magenta] wrote: Don't worry, this isn't for the Music For Pleasure Forum. This is the hardcore stuff! What's the best revenge story you've heard? Whether it was against an ex, boss, bully, whoever.

My colleague's best friend is gay, and he had been seeing this bloke for a while. This bloke was a Manager at some call centre in Manchester and apparently everything was going well for the two of them until my mate found out he'd been shagging some other bloke behind his back.

After digging around some more he also found out that not only was this guy shagging around, he was also married with kids (who had no idea of course) as he was still very much in the closet.

This guy was absolutely mad as hell. He's usually straight acting and you wouldn't guess he was gay, but he said he minced into this guys office as camp as possible and in full view of his staff shouted,

"You dirty old bastard, you've been shagging about behind my back. You're a crap shag anyway and your dicks fucking tiny!" Before mincing back out!

This guys staff just sat there opened mouthed and astonished having just had their boss outed in front of them. I'm sure some of you will disapprove but I thought it was quality!!

quality is right!

i love your friend.

Ask him to marry me plz.

Someone I know took his long-term back to his house after the pub. They had a big row and split up, but she stayed over anyway.

When he woke up there was a HUGE poo on his tummy.

He wasn’t too bothered: he told me that his only regret was that he’d not been awake to see her do it.

Revenge sucks ...... I've got no time to waste on it. Just stay out of my fuckin way, yer fucker!!

This ain't aimed at you, Jemmy

You have strange friends mate, and they have psycho GF's.

[black]Diamond[/black] wrote: Someone I know took his long-term back to his house after the pub. They had a big row and split up, but she stayed over anyway.

When he woke up there was a HUGE poo on his tummy.

He wasn’t too bothered: he told me that his only regret was that he’d not been awake to see her do it.

cleveland steamer!

Now you know what to ask for Diamond

SISTER SHED wrote: Revenge sucks ...... I've got no time to waste on it. Just stay out of my fuckin way, yer fucker!!

This ain't aimed at you, Jemmy

But rather at the rest of humanity eh?

ChrissMari wrote:

cleveland steamer!

Wow - you learn something new every day!

[black]Diamond[/black] wrote:

ChrissMari wrote:

cleveland steamer!

Wow - you learn something new every day!

Oddly enough i learned that in the chat shed just the other night. NOOL, font of all knowlege.

Come on team - all these responses and only two actual stories?

Let's ave em!

(I just remembered that there was a peice of used toilet paper next to the turd on Keith's belly.)

OK, i'm doing this on demand, so i can only come up with a couple of liteweight tales of a drummer i know.

1. His neighbours kept calling the cops, as you would on a thrash metal drummer next door with a double shelled pearl kit in annoying shell sizes. One day the cops asked if he could hear him play, the guy played for him, the cop said "wow, a double shelled pearl kit in annoying sizes, can I have a go", cop promptly has a jam, and states "kit sounds quite reasonable for this time of day". The cop then went next door and told the neighbours they would be done for wasting police time if they phoned again.

2. We used to help out in a community music project on our days off from college,while playing, of all things, a cover of light my fire, one of the college tutors who also helped out and was also a drummer, handed him a pair of brushes and told him to grow up. Drum brushes, if you have never seen them, have a handled that slides over the brush as a cover. Without breaking eye contact with the tutor, this drummer, closed the cover, did something intricate with his finger and rammed ir open again....bending and buckling half the strands and jamming both brushes half open, he then handed them back to the guy and said...."I'll replace them".

Oh and there was a guy who hired us a well underpowered PA, and then had the audacity to say "it's moron proof and unblowable, suits you lot"...we destroyed both amps and one driver in one of the speakers, and played the rest of the gig on the monitors, nobody cared, all the bands were shite, and blowing the sound system got the biggest cheer of the night. we shipped it back to him without a word LOL.

Oh...and there was this girl who got really drunk at my house one afternoon, scraped my TPK 12", pulled the tape from my ceasar's palace bootleg and fired my Propaganda Wishful thinking album out the window. Next day she called back, expecting all to be forgiven. Me and 2 mates barricaded ourselves in the house, and took up "French taunting" roles in the front windows. After 10 mins of this she hadn't got the message, and started making a whole pile of noise and upseting the neighbours. So in a moment of saintly inspiration or evil bad temper, I have never worked out which.......Ipicked up the overdue-an-emptying cat litter tray and decanted it's contents out the window above the front dooor. The site of her with cat turds basically crawling down her hair as she looked up and screamed "you fuckers", will live with me forever. She ran home, and she lived a good mile and a half away. LOL Oddly enough, that wasn't the end of us, we got matey again for quite some years.

I remember an excellent story about a couple who split up on bad terms after living together for ages. The girl moved out, leaving the house to the guy. After a few weeks the guy noticed an awful smell in the living room, which no amount of cleaning would get rid of. The guy replaced the carpets, curtains and furniture and the smell just kept getting worse. He had all the floorboards lifted and found nothing there. In the end he sold the house (for far less than it would have been worth because of the smell) and moved into a new place. But the smell was in the new place and was now completely unbearable.

In the end he found it – the woman had put a whole bag of frozen prawns inside the curtain pole. When he’d moved house, he’d taken the pole with him.

Urban myths – doncha love em!

Steve Campbell wrote: "French taunting"

What's that?

Holy grail.

"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries" etc.

Sorry if that's not the deeply depraved answer you were looking for :D

[black]Diamond[/black] wrote: I remember an excellent story about a couple who split up on bad terms after living together for ages. The girl moved out, leaving the house to the guy. After a few weeks the guy noticed an awful smell in the living room, which no amount of cleaning would get rid of. The guy replaced the carpets, curtains and furniture and the smell just kept getting worse. He had all the floorboards lifted and found nothing there. In the end he sold the house (for far less than it would have been worth because of the smell) and moved into a new place. But the smell was in the new place and was now completely unbearable.

In the end he found it – the woman had put a whole bag of frozen prawns inside the curtain pole. When he’d moved house, he’d taken the pole with him.

Urban myths – doncha love em!

Ahhhhhh gaffertaping a mackerel under a bus seat on the way home from a fishing trip, been there done that :D

[black]Diamond[/black] wrote:

Steve Campbell wrote: "French taunting"

What's that?

Ditto.

Steve Campbell wrote: Holy grail.

"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries" etc.

Sorry if that's not the deeply depraved answer you were looking for :D

Gotcha!

Diamond told the story i was going to post about the prawns in the curtain rail.

ah revenge. i don't normally go in for it, but some people do desverve it. good story.