Sayings

Right Children, lets lighten the mood a little. Tell me what sayings you/your family have. I'll begin shall i?

My Granddad used to say "I like my boiled ham raw"

My Nan used to say "Put wood i'th hole" (Shut the door - can also be used as shut up)

Okay, who's next?

'Go away Christopher'

*Gets on phone to Social Services*

anybody else?

[magenta]Missy Jem[/magenta] wrote: *Gets on phone to Social Services*

Genius.

"Yer hole's yer hole"

Used by good men as an excuse for shagging rotten birds.

Grandad "Keep your guard up lad,jab,move,jab,move..Pick your opening and land that Suzie Q"

Mam "Suzie can't cure you,tell Grandad"

GlasVegas wrote: "Yer hole's yer hole"

Used by good men as an excuse for shagging rotten birds.

Rupe je rupe.

[black]Diamond[/black] wrote:

Rupe je rupe.

Rupa je rupa!! (a hole is a hole). When will you ever learn??

Not that my Mum taught me that

You know my old fella Al? Top bloke aint he?:D

The old man says "I drinks when I'm thisty,I drinks when I'm dry,if drinking don't kill me I'll drinks till I die"

Unfortunatly you'd have to dig the cunt up for him to confirm this.

Just messin,he's still going strong,and still thirsty:D

got any chisel?

got any beak?

(two very popular sayings down me local alehouse)

bend over it'll only bleed the first time

My aunt's family in County kilkenny were prone to say daft stuff like "potatoes like little balls of flower" I should have hundreds of these, my grandad was a batty old gardener, but my minds a friggin blank (shut it!).

ChrissMari wrote: bend over it'll only bleed the first time

Odd family there

One we heard time and time again on the footy park "Well in the two er yer!" used to love hearing that one on 50/50 tackles

Boatraceface wrote:

ChrissMari wrote: bend over it'll only bleed the first time

Odd family there

I thought you meant my married family sorry :(

Not a family one, but a bizarre and quirky one that was probably started by Murray walker and is now to be heard in any form of single seater racing coverage.....

"front nose", as in "he collected Raikonen and they have to change his front nose". WTF? is there a back nose? a front arse?

Still feel I am underperforming on this thread.

My Dad's a bit of a Victor Meldrew character... Tremble with fear whenever he says "I'll never understand why"... and launches into one of his famous 'short' stories about whatever topic's pissing him off at the time... Also from when he was in the Merchant Navy or Air Force (can never remember which this refers to) "When I was in Ghan [small island in Indian Ocean]"... also usually followed by some interesting tale about how life was better back then...

SHEDi xxx

Me to my kin: "Are you sure I'm not adopted?" :p

"Pulling a Trevor" has been used equally by friends and family to describe a slip-up or embarassing mistake

My wife says things like 'my head's like the wreck of the Hespers'

I don't know what she means

one from work that i particulary dislike is:

Good Morning.

(what the fuck is all that about)

my dad had bunch of weird one's, he used t o greet some people with this opening line "does your dog eat chocolate?" i dont know what that means

he also had countless stories of growing up in the depression and holding a full time job at the age of... ready... 4 years old.

yet when i was failing in school one year he started yelling at me, so i confronted him with this and he told me he did attend school and used to show up for the exams, which he would pass thus moving on to the next grade.

he also claimes to have owned and driven his first car at the age of 9, which he paid 5.00 for, that would have been aroung 1936

been kicked by a horse at age 5, leaving him with a huge scar(he did have a big scar on his knee

sharing a pair of shoes with his two brothers (he would have to wake up first to get the shoes, im sure this was not a problem because he had to go to his job anyway, lol)

forget this i could go on forever

LOL mate....you need to check out "four yorkshiremen" by monty python if u weren't already doing a pastiche of it.

Slipperyer than a Bann eel. Do you think I came up the Lagan in a bubble. Keep 'er lit ( to be heard at all motorsport events here as well as when receving tuition on anything poweed). Yer not as green as yer cabbage lookin

J.A.K wrote: one from work that i particulary dislike is:

Good Morning.

(what the fuck is all that about)

"Have a Nice Day" is one that people in Manchester always gave me shit about..

apparently it's a very American thing to say. I think it's polite. As we all know my life's mission is to be polite and respectful.

'If you don't stop crying, I'll give you something to cry for'.................?????? (Mum to brother)

'Well, I'll go to the foot of our stairs' (Nan when told something surprising)

'You could eat yer dinner off this floor' - me when the kids have forgotten to unload the dishwasher.........(not really, another one of my Nans.............)

Could write a book................

ChrissMari wrote:

J.A.K wrote: one from work that i particulary dislike is:

Good Morning.

(what the fuck is all that about)

"Have a Nice Day" is one that people in Manchester always gave me shit about..

apparently it's a very American thing to say. I think it's polite. As we all know my life's mission is to be polite and respectful.

You should work harder at it.

Wino wrote: 'If you don't stop crying, I'll give you something to cry for'.................?????? (Mum to brother)

'Well, I'll go to the foot of our stairs' (Nan when told something surprising)

'You could eat yer dinner off this floor' - me when the kids have forgotten to unload the dishwasher.........(not really, another one of my Nans.............)

Could write a book................

They're coming back now.

My Dad, with a face full of shaving foam trying to tell me and my sisters off "Stop smirking, or i'll knock that smile to the other side of your face" (Cue us trying desperately not to fall about laughing and drawing a smile on the other side of our face)!

My mum "Sidey the table" WTF? I still can't work this one out - she meant to clear the table after a meal!!!

I'll knock yer teeth so far down yer throat you'll have to stick a toothbrush up yer arse to clean em.

I'll punch yer lites out.

And does anyone know WTF the difference between a kitchen and a "skullery"? is?

Traditionally, in the 'olden' days, a scullery was what is now termed as a utility room!

"You'll feel the back of my hand"

"I'll rattle your legs"

(Can you tell i was a naughty child!)

My insane great granny from Belfast used to say the oddest thing to me when I was very small......

"you've been here before, as hamster the rabbit".

WTF? bad enough in itself, but the thing is she wasn't otherwise gibberingly senile, said it everytime I seen her, and seemed to delight in the look of WTFness on my face LOL

Answers on a postcard to

Baffled of Bangor.

One of my Mum's: "You've got more rabbit than Sainsbury's", which I never got, cos I've never seen a rabbit in Sainsbury's, either on sale or doing it's shopping...

SHEDi xxx

'Don't look at me with THAT tone young lady'......blah blah blah or 'you'll end up in the back of next week'.......

I was a little bit naughty too. Only a bit though. Not as much as you.

My dad to my mum: "Very nice thank you dear" after every meal she cooked. " I heard that....pardon?" (Uncle Stavely like) when she muttered under her breath at him.

and just "Pardon?' every time a cow mooed in the field next to our house

Brother lived near Huddersfield for ten years or so and came back with stuff like "Rock on our mam!" and "Nah then!"......

Wino wrote: 'Don't look at me with THAT tone young lady'......blah blah blah or 'you'll end up in the back of next week'.......

I was a little bit naughty too. Only a bit though. Not as much as you.

lot of improper use of the word "was" on this thread ;)

as a mate of mine was prone to say..."yer full of mad dog's stools"

Taboo # 7 wrote: Me to my kin: "Are you sure I'm not adopted?" :p

"Pulling a Trevor" has been used equally by friends and family to describe a slip-up or embarassing mistake

Oh, you too? Great minds, mind you. :D

My name as become so used as a term for making slip ups that they've (friends) considered putting me in a proper dictionary.

Though, it's never good when your family starts adopting the abuse your friends dole out to you.

"I'll take my hand off your face"

I'm trying to think of some nice ones, but i'm struggling.

I feel it's only fair after the previous posts to point out that i was never hit as a child. Perhaps i should have been

Grandad always always used to burp after his dinner and say EVERY SINGLE TIME.....'oops, more tea Vicar?' ???

Or before Dinner Mum would ask him if he would like a Gin & Tonic; he used to say ' ah, think I will, after all it's a shame to leave a lemon lonely'!

Geoff Hamilton wrote: and just "Pardon?' every time a cow mooed in the field next to our house

I learned to shout at the TV from my Grandad. Still while watchinf F1, everytime that limp tosser James Allen says "Juan Montoya" I cry out "WHO?" Even when I am alone.

(the name is juan-pablo montoya, he can say juan when he talks of mike schumacher)

[magenta]Missy Jem[/magenta] wrote: "I'll take my hand off your face"

I'm trying to think of some nice ones, but i'm struggling.

Me too.

You've got a face like a lurgan spade.

Yer boggin'

Somebody not right?

three slices short of a loaf three sheets to the wind

Half short of a full Kit Kat.

not all there not the full shillin' away with the fairies daft as a brush touched in the head Jemma

Nobody likes a know it all.

Steve

So many pills I rattle

being the good brooklyn boy that he was, my grandfather harry used to say:

'i'll give you something to cry about.' (similar to wino's)

'blow it out your ass.'

'don't eat dem prunes. dey give you da runs.'

plus, the constant swearing under his breath, of which he was entirely unaware.

One of my favorite sayings is "In Theory", especially when I'm working on or troubleshooting computer problems.

Psy

'It goes without saying......'

AgentWood wrote: being the good brooklyn boy that he was, my grandfather harry used to say:

'blow it out your ass.'

That was Zappa wasnt it? "Blow it out your ass motorcycle man"!

Geoff Hamilton wrote:

AgentWood wrote: being the good brooklyn boy that he was, my grandfather harry used to say:

'blow it out your ass.'

That was Zappa wasnt it? "Blow it out your ass motorcycle man"!

Wow, her grandad was Frank Zappa!?!

SHEDi xxx

Steve Campbell wrote: not all there not the full shillin' away with the fairies daft as a brush touched in the head Jemma

One of Anne Robinson's best: His cheese has slid off his cracker

My Mum used to tell me 'If nobody laughs, it might not be a joke'.

And my Dad's advice was ‘Never be rude to anyone who has the opportunity to spit on your food before you see it’.

[black]Diamond[/black] wrote:

And my Dad's advice was ‘Never be rude to anyone who has the opportunity to spit on your food before you see it’.

Once upon a time they installed a hidden camera in the kitchen at McDonalds just down the road from me here.....:barf:

Go on...

Wino wrote:

ChrissMari wrote:

J.A.K wrote: one from work that i particulary dislike is:

Good Morning.

(what the fuck is all that about)

"Have a Nice Day" is one that people in Manchester always gave me shit about..

apparently it's a very American thing to say. I think it's polite. As we all know my life's mission is to be polite and respectful.

You should work harder at it.

wow.. a real rocket scientist here

[black]Diamond[/black] wrote: Go on...

Well, it was the bad old days, so if you pulled up to the drive through and your skin was of the pale persuasion, you got a dollop of 'special sauce' as a free extra...

Geoff Hamilton wrote:

[black]Diamond[/black] wrote: Go on...

Well, it was the bad old days, so if you pulled up to the drive through and your skin was of the pale persuasion, you got a dollop of 'special sauce' as a free extra...

...what if your skin was dark? Two dollops?

[black]Diamond[/black] wrote:

Geoff Hamilton wrote:

[black]Diamond[/black] wrote: Go on...

Well, it was the bad old days, so if you pulled up to the drive through and your skin was of the pale persuasion, you got a dollop of 'special sauce' as a free extra...

...what if your skin was dark? Two dollops?

Silly sod

If ever the weather was a bit sweaty but cloudy,Mum and Dad used to say " Oooh it's a bit close today..."

CLOSE TO WHAT?????

monty wrote: If ever the weather was a bit sweaty but cloudy,Mum and Dad used to say " Oooh it's a bit close today..."

CLOSE TO WHAT?????

That reminds me of one:

"It's a bit Pearl Harbour innit?"

there's a nip in the air

[black]Diamond[/black] wrote:

Geoff Hamilton wrote:

[black]Diamond[/black] wrote: Go on...

Well, it was the bad old days, so if you pulled up to the drive through and your skin was of the pale persuasion, you got a dollop of 'special sauce' as a free extra...

...what if your skin was dark? Two dollops?

In that McDonalds, just what you ordered...

Steve Campbell wrote: You've got a face like a lurgan spade.

I was going to say that one! BTW, what does a Lurgan spade look like? I can't say I've ever seen one. Anyway, a couple more:

1. "Your head's a marley (a.k.a. a marble - I think)" - usually means "You're kidding!"
2. "Yer ma" - said if someone's trying to insult you and they can't think of anything clever or original

I'll probably think of more later!

When I was a child, My mother when she was exasperated would say "Fuck a duck!!!"

any wonder why I have a profane mouth?

Miss Disco wrote:

Steve Campbell wrote: You've got a face like a lurgan spade.

I was going to say that one! BTW, what does a Lurgan spade look like? I can't say I've ever seen one. Anyway, a couple more:

1. "Your head's a marley (a.k.a. a marble - I think)" - usually means "You're kidding!"
2. "Yer ma" - said if someone's trying to insult you and they can't think of anything clever or original

I'll probably think of more later!

I Seem to recall my grandad telling me a Lurgan spade was a peat spade, very long and thin and flat, so I assume it literally means "you have a long face".

Here's one and all..... "yer head's full o' wee sweetie mice"

And I'm literally only up and "pearl harbour" nearly give me a seizure thanks BA :D

Where were you?

[magenta]shedmonite61[/magenta] wrote: Where were you?

BED, don;t be jealous i was alone :D

I'm not jealous.

And I thought your training was going so well :D

Anyway, back to the (sort of) topic.......

I was lookin at some thunderbirds torrents, and musing that Gerry used to create a lot of odd little sayings for his characters not just the obvious ones like... F.A.B. in thunderbirds, P.W.O.R. in Stingray, and S.I.G./S.I.R. in captain Scarlet. But lots of little ones too, I really only mention it cos it's a nice touch to give the culture being depicted a bit of depth, but also because a few of them have entered out minds whether we like it or not... I mean any rave goer would certainly have pricked up ears watching thunderbirds, hearing such classic samples as "keep this frequency clear".

To be RIGHT back on topic.....

"tis a soft day" for that kind of rain that's more like mist with ambition, that looks like nowt but will soak you through in seconds. And a coupla classic NI ones...."Quare", as in "that's a quare big tractor there hey" (hey/hi being a suffix to all statements once you head past where our Snoopy lives into deliverance country). I assume Quare is a corruption of Queer, in it's sense of unusual rather than anything involving poovery, and is used to mean "very" or "impressively". And "shut yer fuckin bake", bake being a corruption of beak, meaning mouth or face.

My mother-in-law always says, "There's no rest for the wicked and even less for the self righteous".

Hope that some of you gets some French as it is diffucult to translate them.

My favourite ever : "Quand la pierre tombe sur l'oeuf, gare à l'oeuf. Quand l'oeuf tombe sur la pierre, gare à l'oeuf."

My Grandda, forty years of service in the army : "Il n'y a pas besoin de tortiller du cul pour chier droit." At the moment to drink a glass together : "A nos femmes, à nos chevaux et à nos escaliers, à ceux qui les ont montés, à ceux qui les montent et à ceux qui les monteront".

Use to sing "voyage, voyage" to my brother when I fart next to him...

When my brother was a kid : Father : "J'ai la main qui me demange..." (warning of a possible spank attack) Brother : "Ben, gratte-la !"

My mother uses occitan (Olde French from the South)... so need to talk about it.

For a girl with a large bump : "Elle a de quoi s'asseoir".

Father : "Si les cons volaient, on ne verrait jamais le jour." The very same : "Fils de con" expecting me to reply "Oui papa".

'If i put my mind to it i could get a head ache'- an old women i used to work with said this all the time never really understood why.

what you leckin, (what are you playin)

[black]Diamond[/black] wrote:

And my Dad's advice was ‘Never be rude to anyone who has the opportunity to spit on your food before you see it’.

sound advice that!

My grandpa (RIP) used to say that because I had big feet I had a 'good grip on the earth".