Sayings

Right Children, lets lighten the mood a little. Tell me what sayings you/your family have. I'll begin shall i?

My Granddad used to say "I like my boiled ham raw"

My Nan used to say "Put wood i'th hole" (Shut the door - can also be used as shut up)

Okay, who's next?

'Go away Christopher'

*Gets on phone to Social Services*

anybody else?

[magenta]Missy Jem[/magenta] wrote: *Gets on phone to Social Services*

Genius.

"Yer hole's yer hole"

Used by good men as an excuse for shagging rotten birds.

Grandad "Keep your guard up lad,jab,move,jab,move..Pick your opening and land that Suzie Q"

Mam "Suzie can't cure you,tell Grandad"

GlasVegas wrote: "Yer hole's yer hole"

Used by good men as an excuse for shagging rotten birds.

Rupe je rupe.

[black]Diamond[/black] wrote:

Rupe je rupe.

Rupa je rupa!! (a hole is a hole). When will you ever learn??

Not that my Mum taught me that

You know my old fella Al? Top bloke aint he?:D

The old man says "I drinks when I'm thisty,I drinks when I'm dry,if drinking don't kill me I'll drinks till I die"

Unfortunatly you'd have to dig the cunt up for him to confirm this.

Just messin,he's still going strong,and still thirsty:D

got any chisel?

got any beak?

(two very popular sayings down me local alehouse)

bend over it'll only bleed the first time

My aunt's family in County kilkenny were prone to say daft stuff like "potatoes like little balls of flower" I should have hundreds of these, my grandad was a batty old gardener, but my minds a friggin blank (shut it!).

ChrissMari wrote: bend over it'll only bleed the first time

Odd family there

One we heard time and time again on the footy park "Well in the two er yer!" used to love hearing that one on 50/50 tackles

Boatraceface wrote:

ChrissMari wrote: bend over it'll only bleed the first time

Odd family there

I thought you meant my married family sorry :(

Not a family one, but a bizarre and quirky one that was probably started by Murray walker and is now to be heard in any form of single seater racing coverage.....

"front nose", as in "he collected Raikonen and they have to change his front nose". WTF? is there a back nose? a front arse?

Still feel I am underperforming on this thread.

My Dad's a bit of a Victor Meldrew character... Tremble with fear whenever he says "I'll never understand why"... and launches into one of his famous 'short' stories about whatever topic's pissing him off at the time... Also from when he was in the Merchant Navy or Air Force (can never remember which this refers to) "When I was in Ghan [small island in Indian Ocean]"... also usually followed by some interesting tale about how life was better back then...

SHEDi xxx

Me to my kin: "Are you sure I'm not adopted?" :p

"Pulling a Trevor" has been used equally by friends and family to describe a slip-up or embarassing mistake

My wife says things like 'my head's like the wreck of the Hespers'

I don't know what she means

one from work that i particulary dislike is:

Good Morning.

(what the fuck is all that about)

my dad had bunch of weird one's, he used t o greet some people with this opening line "does your dog eat chocolate?" i dont know what that means

he also had countless stories of growing up in the depression and holding a full time job at the age of... ready... 4 years old.

yet when i was failing in school one year he started yelling at me, so i confronted him with this and he told me he did attend school and used to show up for the exams, which he would pass thus moving on to the next grade.

he also claimes to have owned and driven his first car at the age of 9, which he paid 5.00 for, that would have been aroung 1936

been kicked by a horse at age 5, leaving him with a huge scar(he did have a big scar on his knee

sharing a pair of shoes with his two brothers (he would have to wake up first to get the shoes, im sure this was not a problem because he had to go to his job anyway, lol)

forget this i could go on forever

LOL mate....you need to check out "four yorkshiremen" by monty python if u weren't already doing a pastiche of it.

Slipperyer than a Bann eel. Do you think I came up the Lagan in a bubble. Keep 'er lit ( to be heard at all motorsport events here as well as when receving tuition on anything poweed). Yer not as green as yer cabbage lookin

J.A.K wrote: one from work that i particulary dislike is:

Good Morning.

(what the fuck is all that about)

"Have a Nice Day" is one that people in Manchester always gave me shit about..

apparently it's a very American thing to say. I think it's polite. As we all know my life's mission is to be polite and respectful.

'If you don't stop crying, I'll give you something to cry for'.................?????? (Mum to brother)

'Well, I'll go to the foot of our stairs' (Nan when told something surprising)

'You could eat yer dinner off this floor' - me when the kids have forgotten to unload the dishwasher.........(not really, another one of my Nans.............)

Could write a book................

ChrissMari wrote:

J.A.K wrote: one from work that i particulary dislike is:

Good Morning.

(what the fuck is all that about)

"Have a Nice Day" is one that people in Manchester always gave me shit about..

apparently it's a very American thing to say. I think it's polite. As we all know my life's mission is to be polite and respectful.

You should work harder at it.

Wino wrote: 'If you don't stop crying, I'll give you something to cry for'.................?????? (Mum to brother)

'Well, I'll go to the foot of our stairs' (Nan when told something surprising)

'You could eat yer dinner off this floor' - me when the kids have forgotten to unload the dishwasher.........(not really, another one of my Nans.............)

Could write a book................

They're coming back now.

My Dad, with a face full of shaving foam trying to tell me and my sisters off "Stop smirking, or i'll knock that smile to the other side of your face" (Cue us trying desperately not to fall about laughing and drawing a smile on the other side of our face)!

My mum "Sidey the table" WTF? I still can't work this one out - she meant to clear the table after a meal!!!

I'll knock yer teeth so far down yer throat you'll have to stick a toothbrush up yer arse to clean em.

I'll punch yer lites out.

And does anyone know WTF the difference between a kitchen and a "skullery"? is?

Traditionally, in the 'olden' days, a scullery was what is now termed as a utility room!