Skills Shortage

If you could go to sleep and wake up with one skill what would it be??

I want black belt karate skills - to shock a cocky bloke who can kick my arse if he wanted to in 2 seconds!

Being able to deep-throat

[magenta]Missy Jem[/magenta] wrote: Being able to deep-throat

what type of a bird are you if you can't do that?

geeeezzzzz!!

Parenting

left handed wanking!!

J.A.K wrote: left handed wanking!!

blimey, what kind of bloke are you if you can't do that?

Smurfy wrote:

J.A.K wrote: left handed wanking!!

blimey, what kind of bloke are you if you can't do that?

a right handed bloke.

J.A.K wrote:

Smurfy wrote:

J.A.K wrote: left handed wanking!!

blimey, what kind of bloke are you if you can't do that?

a right handed bloke.

Oh the youth of today, much to learn -

me tongues multi-skilled though!

J.A.K wrote: me tongues multi-skilled though!

oooh you tease you.

To be good enough to play footy or cricket at a professional level...

SHEDi xxx

To be able to tear myself away from parties/drinking sessions with mates, so I am not crossing Mrs BRF on the stairs as she is coming down, and I'm going up drunk,like er,this morning after yesterday's match and all day sesh Dying now!!!! But off work till Wednesday....

I do this too much,getting into bother with the missus and need to grow out of it,to keep the peace!Fortunatly she knows what we are like when all the lads get together,and knows I'm not tomming around with lasses,but its still a bit out of order!

Obviously I'd like to play centre forward for Boro and England

not needing to sleep would be a good skill.

NOOLigan wrote: not needing to sleep would be a good skill.

Agreed.

[magenta]Missy Jem[/magenta] wrote: Being able to deep-throat

Skill: Being able to meet women who can . . .

At least i always give at least as good as i get

Better parenting skills..Like not to lose my rag,when my TOTALLY unreasonable two youngest kids are fighting over a fuckin pencil,that turns out neither of them wants in the first bastard place,after they have screamed the house down..So fuckin frequent and unreasonable is their behaviour it stresses the hell out of me,and has me wishing their lives away to an age where they are more managable for me....Wrong,I know!

The ability to keep a job without being sacked.

Boatraceface wrote: Better parenting skills..Like not to lose my rag,when my TOTALLY unreasonable two youngest kids are fighting over a fuckin pencil,that turns out neither of them wants in the first bastard place,after they have screamed the house down..So fuckin frequent and unreasonable is their behaviour it stresses the hell out of me,and has me wishing their lives away to an age where they are more managable for me....Wrong,I know!

I'll second that - I don't wish them older, just wish I didn't have to loose my rag so much :(

[magenta]Missy Jem[/magenta] wrote: Being able to deep-throat

As long as you are making reasonable attempts,it'll cum to you eventually

If I could wake up one day and be able to do touch typing that would be bloody useful.

Or if I could become suddenly skilled in electronics.

Very boring I know but I'm already skilled up in the fun stuff.....

Edit: Being able to sleep would be the best of all....how can you wake up with new skills if you can't fall to sleep in the first place:\ohwell:

J.A.K wrote:

[magenta]Missy Jem[/magenta] wrote: Being able to deep-throat

what type of a bird are you if you can't do that?

A single one, I'd imagine

I'd like to be able to solder well, it's a bit of a handicap for me, 10 thumbs on 2 left hands. And to be able to draw.

I'd either go with martial arts master, or master linguist, able to speak a dozen languages.

Or both!

Boatraceface wrote: Better parenting skills..Like not to lose my rag,when my TOTALLY unreasonable two youngest kids are fighting over a fuckin pencil,that turns out neither of them wants in the first bastard place,after they have screamed the house down..So fuckin frequent and unreasonable is their behaviour it stresses the hell out of me,and has me wishing their lives away to an age where they are more managable for me....Wrong,I know!

I agree, I wish my kids would stay about 3 years old. Very managable; they are cute; are happy to see you when you come home, sad when your not; easy to play with; don't eat that much; and are so much fun. The crazy stuff they do at 3 is very managable.

While we're at it, I'd love to get my son to pay attention to what he's doing. 9 times out of 10, his problems all happen because he wasn't paying attention. (and give him a smaller appitite, I mean holy crap, the boy's 8 and eats almost as much as me!).

JHC

68Pontiac wrote:

Boatraceface wrote: Better parenting skills..Like not to lose my rag,when my TOTALLY unreasonable two youngest kids are fighting over a fuckin pencil,that turns out neither of them wants in the first bastard place,after they have screamed the house down..So fuckin frequent and unreasonable is their behaviour it stresses the hell out of me,and has me wishing their lives away to an age where they are more managable for me....Wrong,I know!

I agree, I wish my kids would stay about 3 years old. Very managable; they are cute; are happy to see you when you come home, sad when your not; easy to play with; don't eat that much; and are so much fun. The crazy stuff they do at 3 is very managable.

While we're at it, I'd love to get my son to pay attention to what he's doing. 9 times out of 10, his problems all happen because he wasn't paying attention. (and give him a smaller appitite, I mean holy crap, the boy's 8 and eats almost as much as me!).

JHC

I guess the are all different...My youngest is 3,easily manageable he aint!Proper particular little nark he is.Praying he grows out of it... Whereas my daughters who are older than him have their moments,are a dream by comparison.

Boatraceface wrote: I guess the are all different...My youngest is 3,easily manageable he aint!Proper particular little nark he is.Praying he grows out of it... Whereas my daughters who are older than him have their moments,are a dream by comparison.

Ahhh. . .that's part of it. You had girls FIRST, which gave you higher expections for the boy. One key about boys. . .they are plain DUMB!!!

My daughter is so easy to handle, tell her not to do something once. ..and she doesn't do it. Tell my son not to do something, and 2 minutes later he's doing the same exact thing.

As for him growing out of it, it more than likely won't be anytime soon. Once they reach school, they get influenced by other boys, 2nd grade was not fun for me.

I imagine that boys are hard to deal with in the younger years, but once they reach teenage years they aren't that bad. Girls on the other hand are a dream in the younger years, but I am not looking forward to when my becomes a teenager.

JHC

68Pontiac wrote:

Boatraceface wrote: I guess the are all different...My youngest is 3,easily manageable he aint!Proper particular little nark he is.Praying he grows out of it... Whereas my daughters who are older than him have their moments,are a dream by comparison.

Ahhh. . .that's part of it. You had girls FIRST, which gave you higher expections for the boy. One key about boys. . .they are plain DUMB!!!

My daughter is so easy to handle, tell her not to do something once. ..and she doesn't do it. Tell my son not to do something, and 2 minutes later he's doing the same exact thing.

As for him growing out of it, it more than likely won't be anytime soon. Once they reach school, they get influenced by other boys, 2nd grade was not fun for me.

I imagine that boys are hard to deal with in the younger years, but once they reach teenage years they aren't that bad. Girls on the other hand are a dream in the younger years, but I am not looking forward to when my becomes a teenager.

JHC

oh you got that right ponty, my daughter was an angel when she was younger,primary school was a dream. secondary school is the nightmare. well i say nightmare,on the whole shes still a good lass but man does she have her moments. all part of growing up they say. but if she carries on shell not live to grow up