Mention of Peeta Beeeardslee pet on a thread below started me thinking. Who would you nominate as the ugliest people ever to appear on TV ? Pop stars, footballers, Alice Beer, anyone at all who has nearly broken the cathode ray tube with their farcical facade. Who do you think ?
Dates
· UTC
TV Gargoyles (O/T)
Archived39 replies · 1,217 views
This is an archived legacy thread. Replies are closed, but the discussion is preserved.
We have a winner already:
Shaun Ryder from the "Yes Please" era
Should put you off narcotics for life kiddies ! 
Paul Westerberg will be on Letterman on April 29th, does that count? I love the man's music but he's not winning any beauty contests!
Originally posted by And You Will Know Me By the Trail of Empty G&Ts Paul Westerberg will be on Letterman on April 29th, does that count? I love the man's music but he's not winning any beauty contests!
Never heard of him !
Ole Gunner Solksjaer (or however the hell you spell it) is a freak of the highest degree....
Oh, and that James kid who used to appear on 'Wogan' wearing a bow tie, valuing antiques, and in recent times has done the rounds on various chat shows talking about the fact he is now known as 'Lauren'...I think James/Lauren should win as he/she has managed to be hideous as both male and female 
Originally posted by Zizou Zidane > Originally posted by And You Will Know Me By the Trail of Empty G&Ts> Paul Westerberg will be on Letterman on April 29th, does that count? I love the man's music but he's not winning any beauty contests!
Never heard of him !
Dammit :violent2:, Zloppy, didn't you read my replacements reunion thread?!! This man is the genius who wrote "Bastards of Young", "Only If You Were Lonely", "Sixteen Blue", and "Treatment Bound". still not a looker, though.
i have friends who may well kill me for this (though i doubt any read this board), but...
...get the damned unibrow-laden Gallagher brothers off the screen. 
Phil Collins & Michael fucking Bolton have gotta be up there somewhere - you can add Christina Aguileira to that!
From the football world Iain Dowie is fookin scary as is Davie Dodds (scottish people will understand this one
)
But the scariest people ever to appear on TV are the Glasgow Rangers football team (and supporters) without doubt, the ugliest bunch of people yer ever likely to see;)
Originally posted by pete poorten Phil Collins (PLC) surely wins as he's ugly on the inside as well as the outside.
Aye! ugly fat baldy tory bastard
...and i'd add all the inbred bastards to do with NASCAR to that list as well (both on track and spectating)!
HEY ZIZOU!! DON'T GET ME STARTED YOU!!
HOW LONG D'YOU THINK MY LIST IS GOING TO BE, HUH?? 
BETTER BRACE YOURSELF THEN....The practice court for the relaunched ROOM 101 follows......my list of ugly TV fookers......
....after SOUTH PARK, that is.....
see you there!!! 
Originally posted by Kezzie Ole Gunner Solksjaer (or however the hell you spell it) is a freak of the highest degree....Oh, and that James kid who used to appear on 'Wogan' wearing a bow tie, valuing antiques, and in recent times has done the rounds on various chat shows talking about the fact he is now known as 'Lauren'...I think James/Lauren should win as he/she has managed to be hideous as both male and female
Oh my God Kezzie, i thought i was the only person who knew of him!!! what a twat even when he was 6!!!!
When i was at school, me and my mate Sallyann used to pretend we fancied Peter Beardsly and Jim Leighton mainly due to the fact that a) they are both fucking ugly (fugly in fact)and b)we were teenagers and very very immature...fair dos though we had key rings with their faces on and pissed ourselves every geography lesson when we sat next to each other....
Those were the days
Sir Jim of Leighton must be a winner....surely!
Liv
The most unspeakably HIDEOUS sight I've seen on telly lately has to go first and foremost to PETE BURNS when he appeared on Never Mind The Buzzcocks and proceeded to give everyone there recurring nightmares for the rest of their life. And me.....
Other ugly bastards that have blighted my viewing include the following : (jeez, it pains me to even bring all these up from my deep subconsciousness... 
)
KEN MORLEY (aka Reg Holdsworth): fucking ugly massively, traumatically, irritating frog-faced twat!! MICHAEL PORTILLO: Trout-lipped ring-licking Tory bastard. NEIL HAMILTON: Face like a huge five o clock shadow and slit for a mouth. DAVID SCHNEIDER: one of the satirists who writes for The Saturday Night Armistice/The Day Today... great programmes, but he is one helluvan ugly bleeder - face like a horse - and those eyes and teeth and nostrils!!! AAAARRRGHHHHH!!!!!! JOHN MAJOR: Joe 90 from Hell, Nuff Sed JEREMY BEADLE: Cheesey-faced greasy stubby-fingered get!! JIMMY TARBUCK: one of these days I'm going to fly a fucking B52 bomber through that fooking gap in his teeth. Unfunny Scouse twat! (absolutely no offence to Scousers in general that is, seeing as I was born one!!) JIMMY HILL: That chin, says it all really CLARISSA DICKSON: That most HATED of all specimens still blighting the country - a fat, bloated, ugly, useless, hideous, uppercrusted, smelly, badly-dressed, pro-hunting, dog-faced, walking vaginal discharge of a cavewoman who is so unremittingly revolting that each time she comes on screen, my television tries to jump halfway across the room to escape the transmission signals convulsing thru its puny little plastic frame......UGH!! TO THE STOCKS WITH HER AND PELT HER WITH SOME RADIOACTIVE ROTTEN FRUIT!!!! AND SOME GRENADES!!! TWO THIRDS OF ALL THE PAP IDLE CONTESTANTS - My what a focking shower some of them looked, ha ha haaa!!!! PETER STRINGFELLOW: mullet. mullet. mullet. mullet. mullet. mullet. mullet. mullet. mulletmulletmulletmulletmulletmulletmulletmulletmulletmulletmulletmulletmulletmulletmulletmullet..... JONATHAN KING: Unspeakably hideous slug-lipped slimeball currently oozing second-hand pre-pubescent pus in a prison cell somewhere...thank fook...may he rot! ORVILLE THE DUCK: Yep, what a hideous fooking abomination THAT one is! Pete Burns's long lost brother so it turns out! RICHARD BRANSON: shit-eating grin. King of spin. Sounds familiar to our fave Mr. PM doesn't it? Human cloning? Forget it!! We already have this one and Tony!! SHAUN RYDER: fooking hell. PRINCE CHARLES: How many lemons must the jug-eared twat have sucked in his lifetime to have such a painful grimace on his fizzog?? ANN WIDDECOMBE: Pudding basins never looked so fooking deadly. CAMILLA PARKER BOWELS [sic]. Well IS she or ISN'T she? Rod Hull's sister that is???
that's all for now, but BE WARNED,
....OI'LL BE BECK.........
Mark Lawrenson. (Shame on me as he's an Albion legend, but that mullet and tache wasn't sexy in 1976, even less so now)
Oh yeah, and Vanessa Feltz.
Originally posted by Liv > Originally posted by Kezzie> Ole Gunner Solksjaer (or however the hell you spell it) is a freak of the highest degree....> Oh, and that James kid who used to appear on 'Wogan' wearing a bow tie, valuing antiques, and in recent times has done the rounds on various chat shows talking about the fact he is now known as 'Lauren'...I think James/Lauren should win as he/she has managed to be hideous as both male and female
Oh my God Kezzie, i thought i was the only person who knew of him!!! what a twat even when he was 6!!!!
When i was at school, me and my mate Sallyann used to pretend we fancied Peter Beardsly and Jim Leighton mainly due to the fact that a) they are both fucking ugly (fugly in fact)and b)we were teenagers and very very immature...fair dos though we had key rings with their faces on and pissed ourselves every geography lesson when we sat next to each other....
Those were the days
Sir Jim of Leighton must be a winner....surely!
Liv
Me and my best mate were obsessed with James (as he was then) when we were kids!! He was our benchmark for ugliness rating We even thought about getting t-shirts printed with his face on at one point
We know have a lovely picture of him as Lauren cut out from a newspaper on our living room wall - the headline? 'I'm looking for a man' - terrifying. I believe he/she had his/her eye on Robbie Williams at one point 
Originally posted by Oh Look! There Goes The Laughing Martian Again!! The most unspeakably HIDEOUS sight I've seen on telly lately has to go first and foremost to PETE BURNS when he appeared on Never Mind The Buzzcocks and proceeded to give everyone there recurring nightmares for the rest of their life. And me.....Other ugly bastards that have blighted my viewing include the following : (jeez, it pains me to even bring all these up from my deep subconsciousness...
that's all for now, but BE WARNED,
....OI'LL BE BECK.........
You just made me spit out my breakfast of Mini Cheddars and Coke!! Particurlarly the Peter Stringfellow bit...
Originally posted by Oh Look! There Goes The Laughing Martian Again!! CLARISSA DICKSON: That most HATED of all specimens still blighting the country - a fat, bloated, ugly, useless, hideous, uppercrusted, smelly, badly-dressed, pro-hunting, dog-faced, walking vaginal discharge of a cavewoman who is so unremittingly revolting that each time she comes on screen, my television tries to jump halfway across the room to escape the transmission signals convulsing thru its puny little plastic frame......UGH!! *TO THE STOCKS WITH HER AND PELT HER WITH SOME RADIOACTIVE ROTTEN FRUIT!!!! AND SOME GRENADES!!!*TWO THIRDS OF ALL THE PAP IDLE CONTESTANTS - My what a focking shower some of them looked, ha ha haaa!!!!PETER STRINGFELLOW: mullet. mullet. mullet. mullet. mullet. mullet. mullet. mullet. mulletmulletmulletmulletmulletmulletmulletmulletmulletmulletmulletmulletmulletmulletmulletmullet..... JONATHAN KING: Unspeakably hideous slug-lipped slimeball currently oozing second-hand pre-pubescent pus in a prison cell somewhere...thank fook...may he rot! ORVILLE THE DUCK: Yep, what a hideous fooking abomination THAT one is! Pete Burns's long lost brother so it turns out! RICHARD BRANSON: shit-eating grin. King of spin. Sounds familiar to our fave Mr. PM doesn't it? Human cloning? Forget it!! We already have this one and Tony!! SHAUN RYDER: fooking hell. PRINCE CHARLES: How many lemons must the jug-eared twat have sucked in his lifetime to have such a painful scowl on his fizzog?? ANN WIDDECOMBE: Pudding basins never looked so fooking deadly. CAMILLA PARKER BOWELS [sic]. Well IS she or ISN'T she? Rod Hull's sister that is???
that's all for now, but BE WARNED,
....OI'LL BE BECK.........
Welcome back mate - this thread obviously did the trick and got the bile flowing :D
There used to be this geezer played cricket for Surrey a few years ago, called David Ward, and he was so frighteningly ugly the photos of him in the Wisden book and all those Who's Who of Cricket books used to be shots of him batting wearing a helmet, so you couldn't see his mug ! He made Luke Chadwick look like Sean Connery.....
Apologies to certain people on here (Muffy and Liv for two..), but the ugliest football team of all time has to be the Everton title-winning team of 1985. Alan Harper, Graeme Sharp, Pat Van den Hauwe.......it got worse when Gary Ablett defected across the park !
Fookin ell! Marty yer list was good - but where's yer ole pal fat tongue? Surely Jamie Oliver was worthy of a mention
As much as I love The Pogues
Shane McGowan scares me
The best ugly people tend to come from Politics if you ask me, here's a short list;)
The rt honourable arse that is Ian Paisley, Maggie Fatch, Martin McGuiness, Robin Cook, Anne Widdicombe, George Dubya, Ronald Reagan, Michael Foot, Roy Hattersley, Al Gore, Gerald Ford, Saddam Hussein.......
Originally posted by ShugZV Fookin ell! Marty yer list was good - but where's yer ole pal fat tongue? Surely Jamie Oliver was worthy of a mention
Ye forgot David Mellor!!
(Nice to see you back Shug :) )
Cheers Kezzie;) As fer forgetting David Mellor, I'm on the phone right now for a Swedish Massuese to come round and spank me;)
As most of the trult hideous beasts that appear on our screens have already been mentioned I'd say, probably, male - Jimmy Saville, female - Thora Hird.
If that is considered ageist I'd say male - Rory McGrath, female - Jo Brand.
I shan't recount the old Thora Hird joke........but will offer this one instead :)
The Queen Mother meets Princess Diana in Heaven and they get chatting. Suddenly the Queen Mother looks up at Diana and says:
"Oh my, Diana, what a lovely halo you have about your head" To which Diana replies: "Fuck off you old bitch, it's a steering wheel !!!!"
Nice thread folks - I thought Mr Zizou was having a pop at the third best band from Hull for a minute then, and my eyes nearly popped outa their sockets: "What? The Gargoyles??Gettin' a mention on a New Order forum? Surely not? Must be dreamin'!!" In the event, I was pretty much mistaken, so here are my nominations for ugly bastards on telly then:
David Mellor (as you've already mentioned), Jimmy Nail (is he the ugliest living Geordie ever??), Kathy Staff (aka Nora Batty), Dave Lee Travis, Tommy Vance, Keith Richards, Clive James, That Fat bint who does you been framed Mandy Dingly something, Charlie Dimmock, Clarissa the countrywoman, Chris Evans, Matthew Kelley, That ugly bastard on Newsnight (Andrew Marr his name?), Jeremy Clarkson.
Can't think of any more at the moment......
Originally posted by ShugZV Fookin ell! Marty yer list was good - but where's yer ole pal fat tongue? Surely Jamie Oliver was worthy of a mention
Yeah, Shuggy yer right, but I left Jamie Twatface out cos he was a bit of an obvious choice. That irritating mongy gob of his is only good for one thing - for cramming full of used johnnies and blood-soaked tampons and doused in meths and set alight. I think my list tends to concentrate on people many don't realise are really ugly (like David Schneider for instance - honestly you've GOT to see his face - he's a fooking OGRE!!! ) and that dong-nosed twat from "Friends" - you know which one I mean, his name escapes me though....and I agree with Shane McGowan too - he DOES look scary!
But here are a few more I'll nominate just for the sake of some further gratuitous obscenity:
IAIN LEE (from "The 11 o' clock Show") - thinks he's the funniest man alive does he? With a plastic face like that, you've got to have a sense of humour then haven't you? Eyelids like fooking "BrundleFly" too!! Yeeeuch!! Get him outa here!!!
JOHN PRESCOTT - I've Got No...! I've Got No....!!! I've GOT NO...!!!!! I've Got No Neck.....But I've Got FIVE Wobbly Chins....!!! FIVE Wobbly Chins.....!! And Two Jags, Of Course.....!!! No credibility or bollocks no more either, you bulldog-faced twat!! Fook off!!
PETER TATCHELL - Forget his dick, his nose surely comes in handy for a spot of serious rodgering.
KEN DODD - How tickled am I? At your sheer unfathomable ugliness? Very.
BRUCE FORSYTH - It's a wonder this guy's face hasn't become the subject of a Time Team special in itself. Geophysics - ALL OVER YOUR FOOKING FIZZOG, MAN!!!
CHRITH EUBANK - not so much his face (though I've finally seen someone on telly with bigger nostrils than fooking Shaun Ryder)...it's his ludicrous "Earl Of The Manor" dress sense. You prize ponce!!
MICK JAGGER & KEITH RICHARDS - see Bruce Forsyth, but allow THREE EXTRA DAYS for the complete archaeology to yield the best finds....
ROLAND ORZABAL from TEARS FOR FEARS - Fooking hell, what a big ugly gob that guys got!! "Shite! Shite! let It All Out!!"
DOT COTTON from "Eastenders" - sourfaced old minger. Fook me, you make Nora Batty look like Madonna!!
MAUREEN from "Driving School" - remember this fat old useless wibbling bitch? Made a record didn't she? Believed her own hype too. Should have done us all a favour and ate her own shite as well...
JIMMY NAIL - like Hubert said earlier, he must be the ugliest Geordie alive, unless someone can think of another one. Crocodile Shoes my arse! With a face like yours more like a case of Crocodile Food!! DONG-FACED TWAT!! Someone throw him in!!!
WILL SELF - have you seen the face on this gormless dork? He's the living human version of Gonzo Fooking Muppet no less!!
TIMOTHY SPALL - WhazzUpp, yow fat Brummoy hamster foice???
CYRIL SMITH - Oh my god!! OI!! WEEBLE!! WHEN YOU GONNA POP?!?!?!
ROWAN ATKINSON - Let's face it, he IS incredibly ugly isn't he?
VANESSA FELTZ - What's this woman about? Answers on a postcard please.
JANET STREET PORTER - This Is My Tooth, Show Me Yours. Repeat After Me.....FOOKING GOOFY BINT!!!. La Dentistry Durera....Scream To A Si-i-ighh...
DAVID MELLOR - yes I know he's already been nominated, but who cannot resist having a laugh at this guy's expense??
TIMMY MALLET - This little twat could do with a huge spamhandle slammed into his cheesy irritating little face.
GRANT BAYNHAM (once of "That's Life") - have you seen the state of this guy?? What a haircut! What specs!! Fookin hell - and dickie bow ties as well!
SPIKE MILLIGAN - has to be said, he wasn't exactly an oil painting was he? Oil slick, more like.
GIZZA JOB (or the lead character who played him, name escapes me) - What a dour face. Just look at all those eye-bags!!!...which brings us nicely to...
THE GUY IN THAT OLD MINCED-MORSELS ADVERT FROM THE 1970s - anyone remember HIS name??
Fooking hell, no wonder his co-starring pet Bassett Hound look so depressed.
IAN HISLOP from "Have I Got News For You" - what a strange mutant this one is - like some bastard hybrid between a foetus and a baked bean.
CHER - fooking abomination! She'd look better if she transplanted her arse for her face. God knows she's got enough of them locked in a drawer somewhere... ..ewwww!!
BARRY MANILOW (Big Bird from "Sesame Street" lookalike) - best looking hunk in showbizness. Period. 
that's all for the second batch for now.....but who knows... this sickness may yet continue......
tune in later for even more walking abortions.....if you're sad enough that is......
Originally posted by Cheeky Monkey As most of the trult hideous beasts that appear on our screens have already been mentioned I'd say, probably, male - Jimmy Saville, female - Thora Hird.If that is considered ageist I'd say male - Rory McGrath, female - Jo Brand.
Notice how much Jo Brand has always resembled Robert Smith from The Cure ?
Big fat sacks of spuds both of 'em!!!
oh yeah - we all forgot about Brocolli Spears.... And she's got false tits as well.
Now, what about Pariah Hairey? What a plastic faced caterwauling bint she is!!
Anne Robinson & Alice Beer
Joe Mangle & Bouncer
Jimmy Tarbuck & Daughter
Ken Dodd & Diddy Men
Danni Behr & Yogi
Phyliss Nelson (Remember she sung about her teeth "Move Closer)
:jump2: :jump2:
Ha ha ha! yeah, I remember Syphillis Nelson, who could forget those teeth!!! waaa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaa!!!
Here's a couple more:
MICHAEL JACKSON of course. RICKY TOMLINSON. COLIN SYKES (environmental news correspondent on BBC North West) DAVID JASON IAN MCCASKILL.
WTF is up with this thread and it not showing quotes and smilies....talk about unreadable...
but on the topic, keith richards, rod stewart and steven tyler.....was it absolutely nessicary for a 70's rock star to be completely beat across the face with a rusty-nailed 2x4???
Benny from Crossroads broke down Spazzy/Mongoloid barriers and introduced the nation to wooly beanie hats.
EdelBrock wrote: WTF is up with this thread and it not showing quotes and smilies....talk about unreadable...
i'm sorry, but why are you dredging up a 5 year old thread?
His Holiness, The Pope wrote:
EdelBrock wrote: WTF is up with this thread and it not showing quotes and smilies....talk about unreadable...
i'm sorry, but why are you dredging up a 5 year old thread?
Well now that you called me on it, it was an accident. Been gone a week, so I was checking the next page of threads and thought I hit the ">" button, but instead hit the "last page" button. Didn't realize it until AFTER I placed the post. Was hoping nobody noticed or cared for that matter.
Thanks for noticing.
