Favourite Pub Toilet Graffitti

Spotted yesterday in my local:

E = MC HAMMER

Any other gems?

Snorri xxx

Years ago I wrote this following one : "regarde où tu pisses !"

In the school bogs....... ALL TEACHERS ARE TWATS I wrote it

Did you write it in capitals?

Snorri xxx

Snorrimon wrote: Did you write it in capitals?

Snorri xxx

NO I wrote in my best ENEMIES copied HANDWRITING!

On a contraceptive machine:

This chewing gum tastes funny.

in my school

aLiCeInChAiNs

Wonder who wrote that......

Christopher Owens wrote: On a contraceptive machine:

This chewing gum tastes funny.

.....but you can BLOW good BUBBLES!

Not a pub, but there was a porta-john in the waiting-area where those rotating from Iraq back home:

"So girls, how does it feel to go back the States and be UGLY again?"

For those not understanding the humor; when deployed for extended periods (like 6-12 months) the ugliest girls are treated like Maxim models, as selection is very scarce when it comes to women, so they tend to act like primadonnas out there.

Here I sit, broken hearted, paid 20p, and only farted.

Sean wrote: Here I sit, broken hearted, paid 20p, and only farted.

SHIT happens

Christopher Owens wrote: On a contraceptive machine:

This chewing gum tastes funny.

Or insert baby for refund.

On the bottom of the trap door in small writing.. "you are now thrusting at 45°"

for a good time ring ......... .

"Let's play shithouse tennis...look left" on the trap door and "look right....look left" on the sides.. I'll take a paper in next time...You feel a right arse playing shithouse tennis

for a gaping time ring BRF.

NOOLigan wrote: for a gaping time ring BRF.

Nice one Ron!.....for you

And what are you doing taking a dump in the Ladies?

Boatraceface wrote:

NOOLigan wrote: for a gaping time ring BRF.

Nice one Ron!.....for you

And what are you doing taking a dump in the Ladies?

who said it was in the ladies?

NOOLigan wrote:

Boatraceface wrote:

NOOLigan wrote: for a gaping time ring BRF.

Nice one Ron!.....for you

And what are you doing taking a dump in the Ladies?

who said it was in the ladies?

Well not George Michael obviously...The policewoman what nicked you in there with a marker pen spreading propergapeda rubbish on bog doors

Boatraceface wrote:

NOOLigan wrote:

Boatraceface wrote:

NOOLigan wrote: for a gaping time ring BRF.

Nice one Ron!.....for you

And what are you doing taking a dump in the Ladies?

who said it was in the ladies?

Well not George Michael obviously...The policewoman what nicked you in there with a marker pen spreading propergapeda rubbish on bog doors

who said it was me. nutmen are everywhere. must have been someone else who saw your old avatar.

"Gents, please stand closer it maybe shorter than you think"

"I FUCKED YOUR MOTHER!"

Underneath......

"GO HOME DAD YOU'RE DRUNK!"

NOOLigan wrote:

Boatraceface wrote:

NOOLigan wrote:

Boatraceface wrote:

NOOLigan wrote: for a gaping time ring BRF.

Nice one Ron!.....for you

And what are you doing taking a dump in the Ladies?

who said it was in the ladies?

Well not George Michael obviously...The policewoman what nicked you in there with a marker pen spreading propergapeda rubbish on bog doors

who said it was me. nutmen are everywhere. must have been someone else who saw your old avatar.

Cottaging mate of yours is he Ron?

Minx wrote: "Gents, please stand closer it maybe shorter than you think"

"I FUCKED YOUR MOTHER!"

Underneath......

"GO HOME DAD YOU'RE DRUNK!"

Already read the first one somewhere... The last one is excellent !!!

Also.....

"How do you make ugly babies?" Then written further down..

"Ask you're mam..Ugly Twat"

It's a lie. I was never here.

                        Kilroy

Boatraceface wrote:

NOOLigan wrote:

Boatraceface wrote:

NOOLigan wrote:

Boatraceface wrote:

NOOLigan wrote: for a gaping time ring BRF.

Nice one Ron!.....for you

And what are you doing taking a dump in the Ladies?

who said it was in the ladies?

Well not George Michael obviously...The policewoman what nicked you in there with a marker pen spreading propergapeda rubbish on bog doors

who said it was me. nutmen are everywhere. must have been someone else who saw your old avatar.

Cottaging mate of yours is he Ron?

not that there's anything wrong with it.

NOOLigan wrote:

Boatraceface wrote:

NOOLigan wrote:

Boatraceface wrote:

NOOLigan wrote:

Boatraceface wrote:

NOOLigan wrote: for a gaping time ring BRF.

Nice one Ron!.....for you

And what are you doing taking a dump in the Ladies?

who said it was in the ladies?

Well not George Michael obviously...The policewoman what nicked you in there with a marker pen spreading propergapeda rubbish on bog doors

who said it was me. nutmen are everywhere. must have been someone else who saw your old avatar.

Cottaging mate of yours is he Ron?

not that there's anything wrong with it.

If it feels right for you.

Cottageing is still illegal last I heard tho,so you be careful Ron

Easter's been cancelled - they've found the body

Boatraceface wrote:

NOOLigan wrote:

Boatraceface wrote:

NOOLigan wrote:

Boatraceface wrote:

NOOLigan wrote:

Boatraceface wrote:

NOOLigan wrote: for a gaping time ring BRF.

Nice one Ron!.....for you

And what are you doing taking a dump in the Ladies?

who said it was in the ladies?

Well not George Michael obviously...The policewoman what nicked you in there with a marker pen spreading propergapeda rubbish on bog doors

who said it was me. nutmen are everywhere. must have been someone else who saw your old avatar.

Cottaging mate of yours is he Ron?

not that there's anything wrong with it.

If it feels right for you.

Cottageing is still illegal last I heard tho,so you be careful Ron

is that what the coppers told you last time they pulled you in for it?

I wouldn't know about such matters.

Spotted in my place of gainful recently.....

writtin in mirrored lettering opposite the sinks "now wash yer filthy fucking hands"...which of course apears exactly thusly when you are in fact washing your hands.

And in the shitter....a large round black mark emblazene with "glory hole coming soon"

From NME (or simillar), must be 20 years ago or not far off....just after the Hacienda had had it's bogs repainted in "graffitti proof paint" at ludicrous expense, this was found written all the way down a stall door (and if anyone has the article I'd love a calibration on my quote, would be interesting to see how my memory has held up to all that drink drugs and (minimal amounts of) debauchery).

"look look it's peter hook who the fook is peter hook peter hook peter hook who the fook is peter hook

peter is the devil's daughter plays bass in a band called New Order Who are just like the pet shop boys Only not as good".

Surely every male's seen the standard graffiti above the urinal....."Don't look here........the joke's in your hands!!"

Doctor? wrote: Spotted in my place of gainful recently.....

writtin in mirrored lettering opposite the sinks "now wash yer filthy fucking hands"...which of course apears exactly thusly when you are in fact washing your hands.

And in the shitter....a large round black mark emblazene with "glory hole coming soon"

From NME (or simillar), must be 20 years ago or not far off....just after the Hacienda had had it's bogs repainted in "graffitti proof paint" at ludicrous expense, this was found written all the way down a stall door (and if anyone has the article I'd love a calibration on my quote, would be interesting to see how my memory has held up to all that drink drugs and (minimal amounts of) debauchery).

"look look it's peter hook who the fook is peter hook peter hook peter hook who the fook is peter hook

peter is the devil's daughter plays bass in a band called New Order Who are just like the pet shop boys Only not as good".

That piece was by would-be neo-Marxist Steven "Seething" Wells who hated New Order. Think the quote is almost right - went maybe:

"Peter is the devil's daughter He plays bass in a band called New Order Who sound just like the Pet Shop Boys Or at least he used to..."

It, of course, wasn't written in the bogs at the Hac; Wells made it up.

When my borther was at school, someone wrote the word "SHIT" in huge letters on the toilet walls using (presumably) his own shit.

Now that's style!!

Just sawe a great one:

There's No such thing as Evolution.

There are only creatures that Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

not quite grafitti but...

Cambo!

New Order not as good as those faggots the Arse Lubed Boys, hope you got out the loo ok ?

My favourite is "good fuck your mother" then someone else wrote "I can't, I'm fucking yours"

t

This actually in the bogs where i work: [black]strange fookin place where i work![/black]

some come here to sit and think some come here to shit and stink, but i come here to scratch my balls,and read the writing on the walls.

This one was in a port-a-john on a construction site:

"OSHA (Occupational Health and Safety Administration) mandates that turds over 6" long must be lowered by hand to avoid chemical splash."