B&R Marriage Guidance Service

Post your marital problems here - me and Rocket will sort them out for you.

Come on, let's have them. We've not got all day you know!

my s.o. drags me out at 630 on a Sunday so we can get a seat at the pub to watch liverpool get trounced by

How can I prevent this from occuring in the future???

C-Ro wrote: my s.o. drags me out at 630 on a Sunday so we can get a seat at the pub to watch liverpool get trounced by

How can I prevent this from occuring in the future???

I'll take this one, Mick.

C-Ro, I'm surprised you haven't worked this one out for yourself. Perhaps you have been a little stressed and are not thinking clearly. There are three stages to future success:

1 - Become a captain of industry and earn yourself a multi-billion pound fortune.

2 - Buy Liverpool Football Club.

3 - Spend some of your fortune on buying the best players and management team from around the world.

If this seems too hard, you could always ditch the Scouser and get yourself a Headhunter

My ex wife has an uncanny knack of calling my cell at inconvenient times... like while I'm out on a date. We have a son, so blocking her number and forgetting I ever met her is not an option.

What should I do?

Learn to enjoy the attention!

What's the best way to avoid marriage in the first place?

Anything's possible after a few cans of Sprite!

i have no need for this service anytime soon.

How do I get my wife to not throw projectiles when she's angry? She's thrown about everything, from crystal salt shakers, wine bottles, knives, box fans, ect.

I'm fine with the bobbing and weaving part, but I hate buying the same crap twice.

EdelBrock wrote: How do I get my wife to not throw projectiles when she's angry? She's thrown about everything, from crystal salt shakers, wine bottles, knives, box fans, ect.

I'm fine with the bobbing and weaving part, but I hate buying the same crap twice.

Tie her up, Iraqi style.

EdelBrock wrote: How do I get my wife to not throw projectiles when she's angry? She's thrown about everything, from crystal salt shakers, wine bottles, knives, box fans, ect.

I'm fine with the bobbing and weaving part, but I hate buying the same crap twice.

The only solution to this is to make her clear it up. Stand over her as she does it, and make comments like "Ha - feel better now you've got some extra tidying to do?" If you've got kids, make them watch too. Take pictures too.

Your wife throws things because it makes her feel straong and hard. Making a joke of it will change this perception and she probably won't do it again.

(I do like Burt's suggestion too though!)

Bonzette wrote: What's the best way to avoid marriage in the first place?

Anything's possible after a few cans of Sprite!

Just remember that you can have fun all your life.

Marriage is not compulsory and must therefore be avoided at all costs

Diamond White wrote:

Bonzette wrote: What's the best way to avoid marriage in the first place?

Anything's possible after a few cans of Sprite!

Just remember that you can have fun all your life.

Marriage is not compulsory and must therefore be avoided at all costs

Well, I've had four marriage proposals and said "yes" on each occassion, with fuck all intention, at any point, of ever getting married!

Do I win 40 pence?

The cheque is in the post, Bonz

Bonzette wrote:

Well, I've had four marriage proposals and said "yes" on each occassion, with fuck all intention, at any point, of ever getting married!

Do I win 40 pence?

Aw....!

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret..

"I haven't spoken to my ex in 18 months - I dont like to interrupt her"

A heart-warming tale:

Once upon a time a man asked his beautiful girlfriend to marry him.

His girlfriend said no, and the man lived happily ever after.

the key is not to listen.

just nod, and say "yeah, yeah" a few times, then they think you're listening.

listening is hard, especially when Soccer AM is on at about 10 past 11.

J.A.K wrote: the key is not to listen.

just nod, and say "yeah, yeah" a few times, then they think you're listening.

listening is hard, especially when Soccer AM is on at about 10 past 11.

You were paying attention..

Well i got hitched on Sat, and so far we have not argued at all. I suppose the scenery of the Lake district helps a bit. Oh and its my b'day so she has to watch what she does & say!

See you all in Wolves for piss-up

Dear B & R

I have been with my husband for 14 years. At first all was going well and then in the summer of 1993 he asked me to do something unnatural. I hesitated but agreed and went along with his wishes although not very happy about it.

This was ok because it didn't happen again until 1998 when again I went along just to keep him happy. The problem now is that this unnatural thing has escalated and I find myself enjoying it. So much that even if he is unable to participate I would go it alone. The last few weeks and the coming weekend sees the "act" reach its crescendo and I am at a loss what to do.

Is there something wrong with me and my marriage?

lucyjane wrote: Dear B & R

I have been with my husband for 14 years. At first all was going well and then in the summer of 1993 he asked me to do something unnatural. I hesitated but agreed and went along with his wishes although not very happy about it.

This was ok because it didn't happen again until 1998 when again I went along just to keep him happy. The problem now is that this unnatural thing has escalated and I find myself enjoying it. So much that even if he is unable to participate I would go it alone. The last few weeks and the coming weekend sees the "act" reach its crescendo and I am at a loss what to do.

Is there something wrong with me and my marriage?

if he's happy with your arse, then let him be if not, he'll eventually go back to the fanny.

lucyjane wrote: Is there something wrong with me and my marriage?

People like you make me sick - get out of here!

PS See you in Wolves

The key, surely, is good sex?

Within or outside the marriage!

If you're the sort to settle for good...

I note that Mick hasn't contributed yet. Perhaps there is a problem afflicting your relationship, Col? Is this whole thread a way of dealing with your own romantic dysfunction?? I think your clients should be kept abreast of the situation.

(The Good Doctor) Martin Fradley wrote: Col? Is this whole thread a way of dealing with your own romantic dysfunction??

Err, yes.

Diamond White wrote:

(The Good Doctor) Martin Fradley wrote: Col? Is this whole thread a way of dealing with your own romantic dysfunction??

Err, yes.

Thought as much. You were spot-on about JT and LJ, though. What they get up to is beyond the boundaries of morality.

lucyjane wrote: Dear B & R

I have been with my husband for 14 years. At first all was going well and then in the summer of 1993 he asked me to do something unnatural. I hesitated but agreed and went along with his wishes although not very happy about it.

This was ok because it didn't happen again until 1998 when again I went along just to keep him happy. The problem now is that this unnatural thing has escalated and I find myself enjoying it. So much that even if he is unable to participate I would go it alone. The last few weeks and the coming weekend sees the "act" reach its crescendo and I am at a loss what to do.

Is there something wrong with me and my marriage?

As long as he doesn't put you on a LEED(sic)

(The Good Doctor) Martin Fradley wrote:

Thought as much. You were spot-on about JT and LJ, though. What they get up to is beyond the boundaries of morality.

Now, now Martin I haven't mentioned car parks ... yet.

Ally wrote: I won't bother with marriage.

I'll just find a girl I don't like and buy her a house

Saves time!

you don't like me do ya ally?

Diamond White wrote:

C-Ro wrote: my s.o. drags me out at 630 on a Sunday so we can get a seat at the pub to watch liverpool get trounced by

How can I prevent this from occuring in the future???

I'll take this one, Mick.

C-Ro, I'm surprised you haven't worked this one out for yourself. Perhaps you have been a little stressed and are not thinking clearly. There are three stages to future success:

1 - Become a captain of industry and earn yourself a multi-billion pound fortune.

2 - Buy Liverpool Football Club.

3 - Spend some of your fortune on buying the best players and management team from around the world.

If this seems too hard, you could always ditch the Scouser and get yourself a Headhunter

after liverpool lost..

my scouser (as opposed to the one in the background) put on his steelers shirt and terrible towel.

We were at the pub for 9 hours on Sunday

The steelers also lost.

C-Ro wrote:

Ally wrote: I won't bother with marriage.

I'll just find a girl I don't like and buy her a house

Saves time!

you don't like me do ya ally?

HA! That'll teach you to nick Rod Stewart's best lines.

The fist cut is the deepest