FAO Loretta

i dont understand ?

yeah.. where is Loretta?.. is he out standing on a street corner again?

Burt Reynolds wrote: yeah.. where is Loretta?.. is he out standing on a street corner again?

has just phoned me from his,no i mean her,dj set.says might be on chatroom in an hour.will see if he,no i mean she ( cant get used to this ) spots this thread

Comrade Shampanyov wrote:

ahhhhhhhh MONTY python

thats what what happens when you play to much erasure

(A huge Roman amphitheatre, sparsely attended. REG, FRANCIS, STAN and JUDITH are seated in the stands. They speak conspiratorially.)

Judith: Any Anti-Imperialist group like ours must *reflect* such a divergence of interests within its power-base. Reg: Agreed. (General nodding.) Francis? Francis: I think Judith's point of view is valid here, Reg, provided the Movement never forgets that it is the inalienable right of every man-- Stan: Or woman. Francis: Or woman...to rid himself-- Stan: Or herself. Reg: Or herself. Agreed. Thank you, brother. Stan: Or sister. Francis: Thank you, brother. Or sister. Where was I? Reg: I thought you'd finished. Francis: Oh, did I? Right. Reg: Furthermore, it is the birthright of every man ... Stan: Or woman. Reg: Why don't you shut up about women, Stan, you're putting us off. Stan: Women have a perfect right to play a part in our movement, Reg. Francis: Why are you always on about women, Stan? Stan: (pause) I want to be one.

(pregnant pause)

Reg: What? Stan: I want to be a woman. From now on I want you all to call me Loretta. Reg: What!? Stan: It's my right as a man. Judith: Why do you want to be Loretta, Stan? Stan: I want to have babies. Reg: You want to have babies?!?!?! Stan: It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them. Reg: But you can't have babies. Stan: Don't you oppress me. Reg: I'm not oppressing you, Stan -- you haven't got a womb. Where's the fetus going to gestate? You going to keep it in a box? (Stan starts crying.) Judith: Here! I've got an idea. Suppose you agree that he can't actually have babies, not having a womb, which is nobody's fault, not even the Romans', but that he can have the *right* to have babies. Francis: Good idea, Judith. We shall fight the oppressors for your right to have babies, brother. Sister, sorry. Reg: (pissed) What's the *point*? Francis: What? Reg: What's the point of fighting for his right to have babies, when he can't have babies? Francis: It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression. Reg: It's symbolic of his struggle against reality.

big nose

"Are you the Judean People's Front?"

"FACK ORF!!!"

Didn't get much money under the arches tonight.In fact I had to pay THEM. Got some mobile phones though..

Comrade Shampanyov wrote: (A huge Roman amphitheatre, sparsely attended. REG, FRANCIS, STAN and JUDITH are seated in the stands. They speak conspiratorially.)

Judith: Any Anti-Imperialist group like ours must *reflect* such a divergence of interests within its power-base. Reg: Agreed. (General nodding.) Francis? Francis: I think Judith's point of view is valid here, Reg, provided the Movement never forgets that it is the inalienable right of every man-- Stan: Or woman. Francis: Or woman...to rid himself-- Stan: Or herself. Reg: Or herself. Agreed. Thank you, brother. Stan: Or sister. Francis: Thank you, brother. Or sister. Where was I? Reg: I thought you'd finished. Francis: Oh, did I? Right. Reg: Furthermore, it is the birthright of every man ... Stan: Or woman. Reg: Why don't you shut up about women, Stan, you're putting us off. Stan: Women have a perfect right to play a part in our movement, Reg. Francis: Why are you always on about women, Stan? Stan: (pause) I want to be one.

(pregnant pause)

Reg: What? Stan: I want to be a woman. From now on I want you all to call me Loretta. Reg: What!? Stan: It's my right as a man. Judith: Why do you want to be Loretta, Stan? Stan: I want to have babies. Reg: You want to have babies?!?!?! Stan: It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them. Reg: But you can't have babies. Stan: Don't you oppress me. Reg: I'm not oppressing you, Stan -- you haven't got a womb. Where's the fetus going to gestate? You going to keep it in a box? (Stan starts crying.) Judith: Here! I've got an idea. Suppose you agree that he can't actually have babies, not having a womb, which is nobody's fault, not even the Romans', but that he can have the *right* to have babies. Francis: Good idea, Judith. We shall fight the oppressors for your right to have babies, brother. Sister, sorry. Reg: (pissed) What's the *point*? Francis: What? Reg: What's the point of fighting for his right to have babies, when he can't have babies? Francis: It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression. Reg: It's symbolic of his struggle against reality.

Oh, I need to see MP some time.

Here's a better part:

Ex-Leper: Okay, sir, my final offer: half a shekel for an old ex-leper? Brian: Did you say "ex-leper"? Ex-Leper: That's right, sir, 16 years behind a veil and proud of it, sir. Brian: Well, what happened? Ex-Leper: Oh, cured, sir. Brian: Cured? Ex-Leper: Yes sir, bloody miracle, sir. Bless you! Brian: Who cured you? Ex-Leper: Jesus did, sir. I was hopping along, minding my own business, all of a sudden, up he comes, cures me! One minute I'm a leper with a trade, next minute my livelihood's gone. Not so much as a by-your-leave! "You're cured, mate." Bloody do-gooder.

LoB should be shown to all kids in NI as a history lesson.

"follow the gourd" "no follow the shoe"

Followed by violence.

A perfect explanation of NI's "troubles"

i feel this thread has got totally mis-understood