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Ever been somewhere and felt the dogs bollocks until somebody's innocent comment brings you down?
Today, walked in work wearing an Uber-stylish (well I thought so) pinafore dress. 3 people have asked me if I'm expecting!
In raving days, I was wearing a thick white head band and was asked twice if I'd had a head injury.
At primary school I wore a velour tracksuit in claret and blue (Aston villa colours-unintentional) and somebody asked me why I'd come to school in my pyjamas.
I did go to school in my jarmie bottoms at primary once,swear down...Thing is they were so cool everyone was wearing them the following day.Weirdos.
Boatraceface wrote: I did go to school in my jarmie bottoms at primary once,swear down...Thing is they were so cool everyone was wearing them the following day.Weirdos.
all the slapper girls go shopping in their pyjamas in Dublin - they think they look cool
CuanaD - D-plus wrote:
Boatraceface wrote: I did go to school in my jarmie bottoms at primary once,swear down...Thing is they were so cool everyone was wearing them the following day.Weirdos.
all the slapper girls go shopping in their pyjamas in Dublin - they think they look cool
Well it is something I cannot understand... On Friday/Saturday nights they are dressed with very expensive overalls and they go shopping in their ugly pyjamas... Don't they have something to wear in between ?
I was trying to chat a bird up once at some rave type of gathering.
She said, "Do you like sex and travel?"
I said, "yes"
"Well fuck off somewhere else then"
Cheers
SiLeakHunt wrote: I was trying to chat a bird up once at some rave type of gathering.
She said, "Do you like sex and travel?"
I said, "yes"
"Well fuck off somewhere else then"
Cheers
excellent !!!
CuanaD - D-plus wrote:
Boatraceface wrote: I did go to school in my jarmie bottoms at primary once,swear down...Thing is they were so cool everyone was wearing them the following day.Weirdos.
all the slapper girls go shopping in their pyjamas in Dublin - they think they look cool
I started all that..and donkey jackets,my dad started them.
You've got a face a shark would'nt nibble.. is a glorious put- down when you are in a tight spot. 
"Lady, you've got a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp."
Guaranteed to get you a free drink.
You just have to mop it off your face and shirt.
:\pimp3:
depthcharge wrote: "Lady, you've got a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp."
Guaranteed to get you a free drink.
You just have to mop it off your face and shirt.
:\pimp3:
I've always preferred the 'you've got a face like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle' variation myself
I remember a mate used to have a line that went something like "s/he looks like someone set fire to their face and put it out with a shovel"
depthcharge wrote: "Lady, you've got a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp."
Guaranteed to get you a free drink.
You just have to mop it off your face and shirt.
:\pimp3:
Alternatively,
"She's got a face like a bulldog licking the piss off a nettle"
or the far more concise
"she's got a face like a burglar's dug"
My mate Fred is a constant source of these similies, his everyday conversations are littered with them.
"he was farting like a tinker's horse" " ah wis all over her like a tramp ontae a hot pie"
are two that stick in my mind
How about
"see that's whats meant by dark and handsome - when it's dark, he's handsome"
or " Ive had a perfectly wonderful evening - but this wasn't it"
and my own personal bitchy one, which is nasty really........
"Who picked her clothes out tonight - Stevie Wonder?"
(She DID look a mess though in fairness........)
Walked up to a girl once in a store and asked her if I could tell her she had nice, shapely legs. She replied "no"; so I told her she had the ugliest fucking legs I had ever seen. My friends from behind the shelves laughed loud, she got red, and slap me in the face.....good times when you're young.
Jiphy wrote:
SiLeakHunt wrote: I was trying to chat a bird up once at some rave type of gathering.
She said, "Do you like sex and travel?"
I said, "yes"
"Well fuck off somewhere else then"
Cheers
excellent !!!
romantic
GlasVegas wrote:
depthcharge wrote: "Lady, you've got a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp."
Guaranteed to get you a free drink.
You just have to mop it off your face and shirt.
:\pimp3:
Alternatively,
"She's got a face like a bulldog licking the piss off a nettle"
TSK Pay attention....
I can't believe that out of 10,000 sperm, you were the quickest
:p
I've known some people who, according to my grandpa, "didn't know enough to pour piss out of a boot with directions printed on the heel" and "fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down"......
"she looks like a biker that hit the dirt road face first, and is still picking out the gravel"
**that's my own copyrighted saying, so anyone saying it can send me $40
when we where young `er. we used to have a bit of an arsenal of putdowns for uppity lasses that got gobby with us for many a reason lol.
oooh i like your dress love,which catalogue did you get it from.
fat lasses always always seemed to chuck themselves in the firing line.
why have you got a pack of frankfurters on the back of your neck
thav got more chins than a chinese telephone directory thee ave.
did you get pegs n 2 poles with that frock.
i could go on,but fear ill look a pig,NOW DONT START YOU LOT.
Missy Jem wrote:
In raving days, I was wearing a thick white head band and was asked twice if I'd had a head injury.
At primary school I wore a velour tracksuit in claret and blue (Aston villa colours-unintentional) and somebody asked me why I'd come to school in my pyjamas.
You are Steve Foster and I claim my A$40 (there's no fuckin Pound sign on this Aussie keyboard!!!)
mike powell wrote: when we where young `er. we used to have a bit of an arsenal of putdowns for uppity lasses that got gobby with us for many a reason lol.
oooh i like your dress love,which catalogue did you get it from.
fat lasses always always seemed to chuck themselves in the firing line.
why have you got a pack of frankfurters on the back of your neck
thav got more chins than a chinese telephone directory thee ave.
did you get pegs n 2 poles with that frock.
i could go on,but fear ill look a pig,NOW DONT START YOU LOT.
I did that the other day to a fat lass, put me foot in me mouth again. She announced she was six months pregnant with a beaming smile, and i replied 'you are?'
Its amusing when you get someone who thinks they're a known,and you just brush them off with a "run along".
Thas been hit with the ugly stick.....
Face like a box of frogs............
Face like a chown doccer (in english,you have a face like a chewd up dr marten boot).........
To name a few,once said this bird had a face like a box of frogs and she kicked me in the bollocks!! i deserved it!
Doctor? wrote: "the best bit of you ran down your ma's leg"
This one is hard to translate in English, but we say something like :
"You've got a face to sort shit on"
It sounds much better in Dutch/Flemish though : "ge hebt een smoel om stront op te sorteren"
A friend of mine was queuing up to go through immigration at an airport when this scenrio arose.
A Scottish woman was controlling her unruly child and gave her a quick smack.
A German woman stuck her oar in saying," In Germany we don't smack our children."
The Jock replied, "In Scotland we don't gas our Jews now fuck off."
Cheers
Then there was the Japanese tourist in Glasgow who asked for directions and was asked "How come you could find Pearl Harbour alright."
A face like a Halloween cake. A face like a melted welly. A face like a burst tomato. A face like a hauf chewed caramel. A face like a well skelped arse.
A person way plukes has: A face like a dartboard. Or has a face on that pluke.
SiLeakHunt wrote: A friend of mine was queuing up to go through immigration at an airport when this scenrio arose.
A Scottish woman was controlling her unruly child and gave her a quick smack.
A German woman stuck her oar in saying," In Germany we don't smack our children."
The Jock replied, "In Scotland we don't gas our Jews now fuck off."
Cheers
OUCH! Good point made there though.
[Really, all the put-downs I've read, I wish I learned, 'cause I was really picked on bad when I was growing up. ]
s/he's dumber than a box of rocks.
No amount of beer can make you look good enough to kiss. 
Your belly has more rolls than bread factory.
You're so ugly you make onions cry. 
You're so ugly that when you were born, the doctor slapped your mother.
