Just in time for Valentine's Day... — Forum Archive

9 Feb 2007, 05:30

ooooooh :blush:

9 Feb 2007, 05:34

I'm f*cked.

Coz our brand new "Nice n Naughty" shop just got screwed the other day. before it had even opened. :nonono:

EDIT: haha. i typed that before i'd even clicked on your link. classic.

9 Feb 2007, 05:35

Take her out for a meal tight arse!

Not on the day though, the day before or after is better.

9 Feb 2007, 05:36

Missy Jem wrote: Take her out for a meal tight arse!

Not on the day though, the day before or after is better.

is it on a thursday?

that's Weather's Curry night innit. laffin!

9 Feb 2007, 05:39

So the police are on the lookout for a bunch of shifty scousers with an unusually strong glow of sexual satisfaction?

9 Feb 2007, 05:40

Ah romance isn't dead!

There will be a lot of unhappy Bolton/Arsenal women on Valentine's Day.

9 Feb 2007, 05:50

King John Honest John wrote: I'm f*cked.

Coz our brand new "Nice n Naughty" shop just got screwed the other day. before it had even opened.

EDIT: haha. i typed that before i'd even clicked on your link. classic.

Ah. Were you planning on sticking the blow up doll on your corner flag?

9 Feb 2007, 05:51

And who says romance is dead.

"Darling, for Valentines Day I decided to get you this triple ended, variable/turbo speed, multi-penetrative purple dildo complete with optional pubic hair attachment for life-like authenticity. Shall I plug it in to charge?"

"Yes please, dear. Oh and could you pass me the Radio Times?"

Talk about giving you a warm, fuzzy feeling inside.

Arf arf.

9 Feb 2007, 23:10

be weary of Boltonians offering gifts. lol

10 Feb 2007, 17:19

:laugh: Last time I had Chocolate body paint in the house,the ex-wife brought some home from an Ann Summers party.A bit peckish,I ate it.

11 Feb 2007, 14:58

Jemma, I'm sure if you post your address, all the guys around here will send you new toys by the mail with great pleasure.

I don't think they will make it for Valentine's day, but you'll have them :evil4:

11 Feb 2007, 15:05

This lot?

More likely they'd wrap themselves in brown paper and string, and get someone to scrawl "missy J, Orridge" on the outside.

12 Feb 2007, 02:13

So flowers,Chocolates and cooking a meal for a girl is outdated now? :D

12 Feb 2007, 19:00

Going out to the field tommorrow morning (3 am) and staying out untilFriday. Something tells memy commanding officer is trying to avoid V-Day.....

....but what really sucksis that its raining and cold to be out in the field. No fun this time around. This is going to blow balls.:\ohwell:

12 Feb 2007, 19:08

valentines day shmelentines day.
It is just another day in the week. well i'm single.

12 Feb 2007, 19:18

Good old Valentine's Day - we have nine weddings here at work tomorrow.

We had two ferals get married here some time ago - she was a goth dressed in a pink fairy like dress with black gloves and black make up and he was just a mess. I had to act as one of the witnesses as they didn't bring any. Celebrant says to the groom, "Will you take ......... to be your lawful, wedded wife etc etc etc. Groom says "I suppose so". Bride says "You're supposed to say 'I do', you wanker". Well, we nearly fainted - where the hell do you look. Luckily those sort of customers are few and far between.

13 Feb 2007, 03:52

any ideas?

I'm off to the shops in a min.

Fuck i hate this carry on.

always fuckin leavin it till the last minute.

:banghead:

13 Feb 2007, 04:09

King John Honest John wrote: any ideas?

Won't cost you a penny either :nod:

![](http://www.code-d.com/tesco-cards/tesco-value-be-my-valentine.gif) Print and fold...

![](http://www.code-d.com/tesco-cards/tesco-value-valentines-day.gif) Print and fold...

13 Feb 2007, 04:45

Hate the fact that florists will charge about £40 for the same roses they'll be selling the end of the week for a fiver.

Couple of years back i had the lad shipped off to his grandparents, had the meal doing well in the kitchen, table all set with flowers and low lighting for when she came in from work, even had the Thorntons chocolates.

Got called into work 10 mins after she walked through the door cos there was a shooting on one of the estates.

Think shes still making me make up for that one now!

13 Feb 2007, 04:50

"Steve" wrote: Couple of years back i had the lad shipped off to his grandparents, had the meal doing well in the kitchen, table all set with flowers and low lighting for when she came in from work, even had the Thorntons chocolates.

I'm sure you must be neglecting to mention the black rubber suits and oxygen depravation tank?

:eek3:

13 Feb 2007, 05:20

ally wrote:

"Steve" wrote: Couple of years back i had the lad shipped off to his grandparents, had the meal doing well in the kitchen, table all set with flowers and low lighting for when she came in from work, even had the Thorntons chocolates.

I'm sure you must be neglecting to mention the black rubber suits and oxygen depravation tank?

Eh?

13 Feb 2007, 05:55

"Steve" wrote:

ally wrote:

"Steve" wrote: Couple of years back i had the lad shipped off to his grandparents, had the meal doing well in the kitchen, table all set with flowers and low lighting for when she came in from work, even had the Thorntons chocolates.

I'm sure you must be neglecting to mention the black rubber suits and oxygen depravation tank?

Eh?

I thought all northerners were into that weird S&M stuff :lol:

13 Feb 2007, 06:02

ally wrote:

"Steve" wrote:

ally wrote:

"Steve" wrote: Couple of years back i had the lad shipped off to his grandparents, had the meal doing well in the kitchen, table all set with flowers and low lighting for when she came in from work, even had the Thorntons chocolates.

I'm sure you must be neglecting to mention the black rubber suits and oxygen depravation tank?

Eh?

I thought all northerners were into that weird S&M stuff

Nah, just those Boltonites... :blackeye: