What do you do for a living (in one pithy sentence)?

I watch films and make stuff up about them.

Anyone else?

I press a button and surf the net.

i cook peoples dinner

I build spaceships.

I tell morons they can't go on holiday.

I visit doctors frequently :\ohwell:

How are you Maya?

Im a player in the league.

I try to find ways to save taxpayers money.

i make stickle-bricks

Nothing For NOW

NObabe wrote: I visit doctors frequently :\ohwell:

The same, here...

I do nothing.

I work in the final departure lounge!!

I build space telescopes

ShugZV wrote: procure goods for people i don't like.

Are you a personal shopper for Rangers players??

In Corby???????????????

ShugZV wrote: procure goods for people i don't like.

can you get me a van full of Stella then please Shug?

I write computer design documents (i.e. use Word/Visio) :)

I manage an office that does not need managing

Old Blue wrote: I build spaceships.

i build computers for spacecraft.

how is the spaceport in waterloo?

I befriend career criminals, gain their confidence, become one, then ultimately 'betray' them by revealing my true self.

Steve One wrote: I befriend career criminals, gain their confidence, become one, then ultimately 'betray' them by revealing my true self.

That sounds like the most exciting job thus far, 'Steve', but to qualify for "pithy" status your description should have read:

"I grass people up"

I trick people into voting for crooks.

I'm a golddigger

Doctor Clayhead wrote:

Steve One wrote: I befriend career criminals, gain their confidence, become one, then ultimately 'betray' them by revealing my true self.

That sounds like the most exciting job thus far, 'Steve', but to qualify for "pithy" status your description should have read:

"I grass people up"

I work in a hospital

I give smack heads free kitchens

Another pen pusher within the beaurocracy that is Transport for London LOL! Cheers!

Doctor Clayhead wrote:

Steve One wrote: I befriend career criminals, gain their confidence, become one, then ultimately 'betray' them by revealing my true self.

That sounds like the most exciting job thus far, 'Steve', but to qualify for "pithy" status your description should have read:

"I grass people up"

What exactly was 'Steve' implying Mr Fradley?

I go to class, teach a class, and complain about society while teaching about society.

gazman wrote" i work in a hospital"

me to.

this treatment takes to long

I suit/charge a lot of people, specially who pays me.

why shldn't u change your name? wrote:

how is the spaceport in waterloo?

Stellar

Steve One wrote:

Doctor Clayhead wrote:

Steve One wrote: I befriend career criminals, gain their confidence, become one, then ultimately 'betray' them by revealing my true self.

That sounds like the most exciting job thus far, 'Steve', but to qualify for "pithy" status your description should have read:

"I grass people up"

What exactly was 'Steve' implying Mr Fradley?

That's Dr. Fradley, rozzer, and I want my solicitor present.

Old Blue wrote:

why shldn't u change your name? wrote:

how is the spaceport in waterloo?

Stellar

Something tells me, Clive, that you must have used that lines about, oooohhhhh, a million times.

I am my drive-thru's resident "slut". :p

I riddle foriegn agents of evil full of holes with my pop-gun :violent2:

EdelBrock wrote: I riddle foriegn agents of evil full of holes with my pop-gun :violent2:

So you're in ventilation, then?

Comrade Shampanyov wrote:

EdelBrock wrote: I riddle foriegn agents of evil full of holes with my pop-gun :violent2:

So you're in ventilation, then?

Actually my MOS is suppose to be a Refrigeration Mechanic (yet I've only worked that 6 months out of 10 years).

So the answer is

Doctor Clayhead wrote:

Old Blue wrote:

why shldn't u change your name? wrote:

how is the spaceport in waterloo?

Stellar

Something tells me, Clive, that you must have used that lines about, oooohhhhh, a million times.

It's wildly inaccurate (at this precise moment), since bugger all launched from this Sol 3 shithole has even made it a quarter of the way to the heliopause, which, as the extent of the sun's influence, can be considered the edge of interstellar space.

Pedantic cunt, Bangor.

Take drugs!!!!!!

Doctor? wrote:

Doctor Clayhead wrote:

Old Blue wrote:

why shldn't u change your name? wrote:

how is the spaceport in waterloo?

Stellar

Something tells me, Clive, that you must have used that lines about, oooohhhhh, a million times.

It's wildly inaccurate (at this precise moment), since bugger all launched from this Sol 3 shithole has even made it a quarter of the way to the heliopause, which, as the extent of the sun's influence, can be considered the edge of interstellar space.

Pedantic cunt, Bangor.

Pssst - Steve. [whisper]There isn't really a spaceport in waterloo[/whisper]

I'm a porcine technician.

I scrounge off the State. Hurrah!

Papa Bendi wrote: I scrounge off the State. Hurrah!

I fail to convince people that the movies they like are racist, sexist, homophobic, exploitative, and not nearly as good as some 1960s French shit, while I'd really rather be out watching "SS Hell Camp" and "Nude on the Moon."

Part of BMWs European Logistics Dept-Engine Div

I spray my nuts across London for cash.

I make sure that the food used in many area restaurants and institutions is shipped to them in edible form (what happens after it's delivered to them is another matter entirely).

Old Blue wrote:

Doctor? wrote:

Doctor Clayhead wrote:

Old Blue wrote:

why shldn't u change your name? wrote:

how is the spaceport in waterloo?

Stellar

Something tells me, Clive, that you must have used that lines about, oooohhhhh, a million times.

It's wildly inaccurate (at this precise moment), since bugger all launched from this Sol 3 shithole has even made it a quarter of the way to the heliopause, which, as the extent of the sun's influence, can be considered the edge of interstellar space.

Pedantic cunt, Bangor.

Pssst - Steve. [whisper]There isn't really a spaceport in waterloo[/whisper]

Oh, there isn't? Well there should be :D

I cause or resolve conflict, depending on the time of day.

Shed Peel wrote: I cause or resolve conflict, depending on the time of day.

PMS is not a job.

Server Error in "/" Application wrote:

Shed Peel wrote: I cause or resolve conflict, depending on the time of day.

PMS is not a job.

You are soooo wrong about that....!

Shed Peel wrote:

Server Error in "/" Application wrote:

Shed Peel wrote: I cause or resolve conflict, depending on the time of day.

PMS is not a job.

You are soooo wrong about that....!

You're absolutely right about that! My wife survives off this thought.

I deliver parcels in a shitty truck

pumped full of drugs wrote: I deliver parcels in a shitty truck

Brown?

Comrade Shampanyov wrote:

pumped full of drugs wrote: I deliver parcels in a shitty truck

Brown?

Are you clerking yet?

I dig up extinct things. Not very pithy, I know. CTB

CTB wrote: I dig up extinct things. Not very pithy, I know. CTB

Don't you wear a pith helmet for that?

I teach people to speak in tongues...

Snorri xxx

His Holiness, The Pope wrote:

CTB wrote: I dig up extinct things. Not very pithy, I know. CTB

Don't you wear a pith helmet for that?

Working as a waitress in a cocktail bar..................... in reality i,m a machine setter in a steel factory...

I lay pipe.

( and cables too ! )

Right now i'm working for a Construction Company and in my Pub.

El Jarvo wrote: I make frogs rich(er).

Pity that I am not concerned...

Digi Mike Binoche wrote: How are you Maya?

It's officially confirmed today that I don't have skin cancer

:)

Reading through all this I think that, with one or two notable exceptions, "pithy" is something that only Brits do well.

And getting spanked.

NObabe wrote:

Digi Mike Binoche wrote: How are you Maya?

It's officially confirmed today that I don't have skin cancer

:)

Congratulations!!

But if you'd applied pithy, it would have read.

"The Doctor told me that my fucking moles aren't going to kill me."

NObabe wrote:

Digi Mike Binoche wrote: How are you Maya?

It's officially confirmed today that I don't have skin cancer

:)

Lucky You!!

Cheers

NObabe wrote:

Digi Mike Binoche wrote: How are you Maya?

It's officially confirmed today that I don't have skin cancer

:)

Good news.

Papa Bendi wrote: I scrounge off the State. Hurrah!

I give the state reasons why I can't be a wage slave at the moment, in return for which they give me a vanishingly small pittance of the wealth which they have stolen from my fellow members of the working class!

MIMX wrote:

Papa Bendi wrote: I scrounge off the State. Hurrah!

I give the state reasons why I can't be a wage slave at the moment, in return for which they give me a vanishingly small pittance of the wealth which they have stolen from my fellow members of the working class!

Two days ago, I was said at the job centre, that they were seriously considering to rise my grant in order to get rid of me with a "unsuitable for work" tag... and that maybe forever... If they do so, I will have to contact El Jarvo...

El Jarvo wrote: I make frogs rich(er).

Jiphy wrote: Two days ago, I was said at the job centre, that they were seriously considering to rise my grant in order to get rid of me with a "unsuitable for work" tag... and that maybe forever... If they do so, I will have to contact El Jarvo...

To sue his sorry ass for outrageous racial discrimination I presume. (Bloody sassenach)!

I play pool, go shopping and spend money - doing as little as I can get away with.

NObabe wrote: It's officially confirmed today that I don't have skin cancer

:)

Jiphy wrote:

NObabe wrote: I visit doctors frequently :\ohwell:

The same, here...

Yep, me too, when I'm not crossing t's and dotting i's and making sure everything's in order so people can buy houses.....

NObabe wrote:

Digi Mike Binoche wrote: How are you Maya?

It's officially confirmed today that I don't have skin cancer

:)

YAY!!!!!!! That's some good news!

Doctor Clayhead wrote: Reading through all this I think that, with one or two notable exceptions, "pithy" is something that only Brits do well.

And getting spanked.

Pithy or pissy?

Ted Baker wrote: I lay pipe.

Funny, that's my night job too!

Goof for you, Maya! It's always good news!

Steve Lea wrote: I'm a golddigger

But Steve. Thought that's what you'd call the Foxy Escort. Who (mis)uses any Smarts that she might have to spare. NOBabe. M. Is Excellent :\party: News w/ the Skin.

i make jewelry.

Full time: I pay thousands of pounds to drink... and

Part time: I trade slips, that become worthless rapidly, for money.

NObabe wrote:

Digi Mike Binoche wrote: How are you Maya?

It's officially confirmed today that I don't have skin cancer

:)

I enjoy telling people things like this!

:D

P.S. Glad to hear all's well!

I am responsible for the overall performance of the financial, facilities and information technology facets of Information Technology :)

I ensure people are compliant

lol, i read your bio in another link, had to steal it as it sums up my working career :)

NObabe wrote:

Digi Mike Binoche wrote: How are you Maya?

It's officially confirmed today that I don't have skin cancer

:)

I swear, sometimes it's funny shite that I'm the last to know stuff. :p

Major Kudos, Maya!! *hugs!*

Jeffari-al-Texani wrote:

we fucking rock!!!

correction: i fucking suck!

His Holiness, The Pope wrote:

Jeffari-al-Texani wrote:

we fucking rock!!!

correction: i rocking fuck!

All hail the Pope.

His Holiness, The Pope wrote:

Jeffari-al-Texani wrote:

we fucking rock!!!

correction: i fucking suck!

that's better.

Elegia wrote: I am responsible for the overall performance of the financial, facilities and information technology facets of Information Technology :)

LOL

Yes, yes you do, we can tell.

Must be 20 words there, saying a total of fuck all.

Maya I told you weeks ago you were alright mate :tumb:

Still, I'm glad the quacks agreed with me :hug:

NOOLigan wrote:

His Holiness, The Pope wrote:

Jeffari-al-Texani wrote:

we fucking rock!!!

correction: i fucking suck!

that's better.

What's better.....a little to the left... No a little right.... a little up.....ahhh now THAT'S better!

I debase myself in exotic locations then tell stories about it.

Bartender.

Mine is eassssssssy. C'mon.

NObabe wrote:

Digi Mike Binoche wrote: How are you Maya?

It's officially confirmed today that I don't have skin cancer

:)

That's great news Maya

All the best NOBAbe :)

Great news, Maya. :hug:

Who says Friday 13th is a bad day

I stop train crashes.

I am big in oil (in my spare time I prefer Vaseline).

BIGINOIL wrote: I am big in oil (in my spare time I prefer Vaseline).

I was going to say something, but then I'd be sounding like a slut.

On a bad day, I make Gordon Ramsay look like a nice guy.

Leggy D wrote: I stop train crashes.

Funny, I thought you worked for TFL

EDIT: actually I play a lot of trainsims (should I say that out loud here?) and I am totally AMAZED that each and every London terminus doesn't look like Dresden or the Somme, by about 8:45am every day.

'Sunshine' Valley Music Junkie wrote:

BIGINOIL wrote: I am big in oil (in my spare time I prefer Vaseline).

I was going to say something, but then I'd be sounding like a slut.

"sound" like one

i play drums for

oh well, mostly a domestic homemaker

good news NObabe

I build wings for planes

Talk to Brits about their "risky" business.

I give Government money to people on a low income so they can pay thei rent /Council tax

I haggle with foreign companies for soon-to-be-worthless books.

Doctor? wrote:

Leggy D wrote: I stop train crashes.

Funny, I thought you worked for TFL

London Underground, or more acuratly, Metronet since the bolloks that's PPP

But still, we've never had a purely signalling related crash :)

That previous post wasn't in the spirit of the thread, and my job seems to have changed this week, so...

I get electrocuted alot.

Jeffari-al-Texani wrote:

Leggy D wrote: That previous post wasn't in the spirit of the thread, and my job seems to have changed this week, so...

I get electrocuted alot.

hmmm...electrocuted you say...

can I get in on that action???

Be my guest, Jeff. You can do my all day Sunday shift for me and I'll go down the pub

Leggy D wrote: That previous post wasn't in the spirit of the thread, and my job seems to have changed this week, so...

I get electrocuted alot.

EDIT: hmmm ,where's me message?

Ahhhhh here it is...........

(I like the clever use of "purely" there )

I'm guessing that you get a lot of shocks from signal control gear, as oppsed to taking traction current full on (what is it, +420 and -240? OUCH). If that were the case, you're a shoe-in for manliest man....the best I ever lived through was 7KV from the back of a valve amp

Leggy D wrote: But still, we've never had a purely signalling related crash :)

Doctor? wrote:

(I like the clever use of "purely" there )

Doe's sound a bit like arse covering

But true. Underground has never had a Signalling System Irregularity that comprimised the built in safety and caused a crash (like Clapham Junction)

Our two most recent fatality crashes, Moorgate 1975 and Stratford 1953 were both Signalling related but the systems were operating as they should in the circumstances and the accidents were really down to the Drivers. Neither accident could happen again today. I'll PM you if you want to be really bored by the details.

People obviously complain about delays from Signal Failures, but that's the whole point - if something stops working right, it all fails safe and 'everything gone red'

Another shit post.

Not as bad as the CM's about... err... whatever it was yesterday though.

;)

darran clarke wrote: I build wings for planes

you work at Broughton then?

Doctor? wrote:

Leggy D wrote:

I get electrocuted alot.

I'm guessing that you get a lot of shocks from signal control gear, as oppsed to taking traction current full on (what is it, +420 and -240? OUCH). If that were the case, you're a shoe-in for manliest man....the best I ever lived through was 7KV from the back of a valve amp

Yeah, mostly from Signal circuits. About 100v at 1amp. Hurts more than it sounds

That's transformed down from our 600v Signal Main (300v each leg to Earth) which we work on Live but I've only been bitten by once, many moons ago.

Thankfully not had a Traction Current belt for a few years either. That's 630DC. Pos rail 420 to Earth, Neg rail 210 to Earth.

Those moving trains are a bit naughty too No contest on the NOOL most dangerous job compitition, unless we've got some members in uniform out in the Middle East.

BIGINOIL wrote: Another shit post.

Not as bad as the CM's about... err... whatever it was yesterday though.

;)

Have a look at that one!!! I'm on a roll now

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Oh, bugger.

The don't really work when your post ends up on a new page.

You people should stop posting so much rubbish so me, Col and Cambo can have a proper conversation all on the same page.

Yes, dull as.

But that's quite a high power signal. We use 24v and vary the current over 4-20mA.

So I guess you don't use the same method as me for working out if something's live - licking it!

social housing.

get big premiums in from Brokers to insure a housing association NEAR YOU!

err...in england and scotland.

A floorlayer, from contract stuff to domestic. Sick of being on my knees all day tho

As Superdupont, I have not the class of the wise Belgian hero Monsieur Poirot... But considering the highlight of the day, I wonder if the blackmail does not come from this thread...

BIGINOIL wrote: Yes, dull as.

But that's quite a high power signal. We use 24v and vary the current over 4-20mA.

So I guess you don't use the same method as me for working out if something's live - licking it!

The old practice of testing that the Traction Current was off by licking both index fingers and dabbing the two rails, is frowned upon by the Health and Safety spoilsports nowadays.

They spoil all the fun. If it hadn't gone off you looked like this...

Why doesn't that lamp flash like it does over in the Smillie menu :(

Anyone know someone who can change a lightbulb

HSE pillocks!

They'll ban throwin wet string across the two power rails to see if it vaporizes next.

AND I hear you are't allow to charge your mobile off the catinary work on the mainline anymore. Toerags. And what fuckin use us a hi-vis in a tunnel anyway eh?

Leggy D wrote: I get electrocuted alot.

Well, I understand why you have this haircut on your avatar...