Just thought of this one while trying to conduct business toady:
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." -Albert Einstien
So which ones give you a chuckle?
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"Is it worth it? Should we just pull back, forget the whole thing as a bad idea and take care of our own problems at home?" "No. We have to stay here and there's a simple reason why. Ask ten different scientists about the environment, population control, genetics and you'll get ten different answers, but there's one thing every scientist on the planet agrees on. Whether it happens in a hundred years or a thousand years or a million years, eventually our Sun will grow cold and go out. When that happens, it won't just take us. It'll take Marilyn Monroe and Lao-Tzu and Einstein and Morobuto and Buddy Holly and Aristophenes .. and all of this .. all of this was for nothing unless we go to the stars." -- Mary Ann Cramer interviews Cmdr. Sinclair in Babylon 5:"Infection"
Gene Hunt: "Yer kidding?" Sam Tyler: "You'll know when I'm kidding, my bow tie starts spinning round"
But Life On Mars is full of ace one-liners 
Withnail & I - as those who've seen it will know - is packed full of brilliant quotes. You're not a proper student until you can endlessly quote half of that film... immensely irritating all around you at the same time 
It's such a fine line between clever and stupid. Nigel Tufnel
Dozens of people spontaneously combust each year. It's just not really widely reported. David St. Hubbins
This is Spinal Tap
Essential viewing for everyone. Endlessly quotable and it never loses its edge.
there are worlds out there where the sky is burning, where the seas sleep and the rivers dream. Hills made of smoke and cities made of song. Somewhere there's danger, somewhere there's injustice, somewhere else, the tea is getting cold. Come along Ace, we've got work to do.
Doctor
'Women have a right to work wherever and whenever they please, as long as they have the dinner ready when you get home' - John Wayne
You all tip and no iceberg. - Paul Keating
"Break the glass please - and free us from all these damned rules, from needing to find an explanation for everything, from doing only what others approve of."
"Well what's the use in complaining When you've got what you don't need"
There is nothing so bad that can't be easily fixed or easily ignored. ~ Clay Aiken.
We took over the asylum. ~ 
.
...and 1 Corinthians 13:13 [even though it's a Bible verse 
].
P.S. The verse is,
And in the end remains these three: Faith, Hope, and Love. And the greatest of these is Love.
Heh, I kinda live by that, really. 
'We're The Sweeney son and we've haven't 'ad any dinner!'
John Thaw as Regan in ITV's '70's cop show The Sweeney. Cheers!
"John,you're immortal"
Bill Shankly to Jock Stein, after Celtic become first British team to win European Cup
gazman wrote: "John,you're immortal"
Bill Shankly to Jock Stein, after Celtic become first British team to win European Cup
who the fucks John?
King John Honest John wrote:
gazman wrote: "John,you're immortal"
Bill Shankly to Jock Stein, after Celtic become first British team to win European Cup
who the fucks John?
John Stein CBE,
Also known as Jock,
do keep up son :D
Martin Brundle, after Malaysian driver Alex Yoong had yet again failed to qualify..........
"Yoong's on a 3 stop strategy today. Heathrow, Dubai, Kuala Lumpur"
or..... "Jordan have Ryan Giggs with them this weekend, someone unkindly said, at least they've got ONE thing in the team that can take a corner"
But the greatest quotes of all must go to Douglas.
"Far out, in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy, lies a small unregarded yellow sun. Orbiting this, at a distance of roughly 92 million miles, is an utterly insignifigant little blue green planet, who's ape descended lifeforms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea"
And of course....... DON'T PANIC!
You know what I'm gonna say!!!
"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."
but what about this beauty from Dubya???
"Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country."
When a stone fells on an egg, pity for the egg. When an egg fells on a stone, pity for the egg.
"It feels so good for his ego to be the one on the top of the pyramid. On the other hand, it is difficult to find a place to sit."
"You're a bouncy, bouncy head!" - my 4 year-old daughter's remarks when she was mad at me the other day
"I'm going to Iowa for an award. Then I'm appearing at Carnegie Hall, it's sold out. Then I'm sailing to France to be honored by the French government. I'd give it all up for one erection." - Groucho Marx
:)
The rudeness of the English vulgar is terrible. This indeed is the liberty they have. The liberty of bullying, and being abusive with their blackguard tongues.
James Boswell, 1762, as featured on C4 'Seven Sins of England', yesterday.
"Any sufficiently advanced technology will be indistinguishable from magic" A.C.Clarke, author and inventor of the communication sattelite.
"I have no idea what weapons the third world war will be fought with, but the fourth will be fought with sticks and stones"
A. Einstein, clever person and anti-sock activist
"wherever you go, there you are"
Buckaroo Banzai
"No one will ever need more than 4MB of RAM, ever, period!"
William S. Gates, geek-gone-bad and chief bugwriter of macroshaft, who's current OS requires 1000 times that amount of memory, just to boot to a crappy desktop....ergo, accoring to Gates, no one will ever need DOS Vista, Period. Glad we are in agreement there Billy boy.
"you should be imagining a slightly overweight penguin, sitting down after having gorged itself, and having just burped. It's sitting there with a beatific smile -- the world is a good place to be when you have just eaten a few gallons of raw fish and you can feel another burp coming."
Linus Torvalds, Genius and saviour of the oppressed, discussing Tuxedo T. Penguin.
1.Call yourself a gangster? Yer cardboard cut out cunt... The Business.
- The most popular phase ever by ANY footballer being interviewed, Y'Know.
'Situation' but said in a NornIron accent!
sounds a bit like 'sich-e-ashin' (wonder if that's how its spelt in Ulster Scots:D )
Steve One wrote:
- The most popular phase ever by ANY footballer being interviewed, Y'Know.
I think you'll find that Erm tops Y'Know
CuanaD - D-plus wrote: 'Situation' but said in a NornIron accent!
sounds a bit like 'sich-e-ashin' (wonder if that's how its spelt in Ulster Scots:D )
4 sylables, therefor there IS no alster scats for it
it's a word we're oddly fond of aint it.
Doctor? wrote:
CuanaD - D-plus wrote: 'Situation' but said in a NornIron accent!
sounds a bit like 'sich-e-ashin' (wonder if that's how its spelt in Ulster Scots:D )
4 sylables, therefor there IS no alster scats for it
it's a word we're oddly fond of aint it.
as pointed out on mark n lard a few years back "motorcycle helmet" is a cracker for the norn iron accent
