Dwarves

Boatraceface wrote: The plot thickens Snorri... Mr Small's hips were hardly childbearing by any stretch of the imagination. Mr Small could conceivably carry say,Tom Thumb's offspring in his belly,assuming Tom thumb's cock were big enough to plant the seed...

None of which would be very considerate of Mrs Small's years of unstinting loyalty,mind.
:\ohwell:

And neither would it give the resulting Mr Dwarf, Mr Tickle-type arms to paint the high ceiling Clearly,we are gunna have to reshuffle the gene pool if questions are to be answered.

Unless of course they used Mr Greedy as a surrogate 'mother'...

Snorri xxx

Missy Jem wrote: I eventually realised he was decorating his (high ceilinged) living room with only the aid of a two step ladder.

Amazing!

And unless the dwarf was perfectly 'normal' and the ladder, despite only having two steps, was actually tall enough for said dwarf to reach the ceiling... Granted this does require someone to place the dwarf at the top of the ladder, but that's not beyond the bounds of possibility...

Snorri xxx

Snorrimon wrote:

Missy Jem wrote: I eventually realised he was decorating his (high ceilinged) living room with only the aid of a two step ladder.

Amazing!

And unless the dwarf was perfectly 'normal'

Snorri xxx

Maybe he got a leg up from the oxymoron ?

We are being daft here... he had a safety harness to strap on to the lamp-shade above,so the little critter could dangle and paint at the same time.... it does'nt take Carol Vordaman to do the maths on this one

Motley Crue cancelled a tour because their dwarf, despite being Canadian, was travelling on a USA visa. Or something like that. So the dwarf was refused entry into a country they were playing and the band, reasonably, declared that you can't have a rock n roll circus without a dwarf and pulled the whole tour.

At Glastonbury last year my mate Vin suddenly mentioned that he had expected to see loads of dwarfs and was surprised that he'd seen none at all. Less than a minute later a dwarf bumped into him. Then another. We saw about six in the next hour. Every time he saw one Vin would shout "YES - ANOTHER!"

There's certainly something a bit cosmic about dwarfs

My last dwarf story is that I saw a mum, dad and boy dwarf in Dixons in Stockport years ago (just how long ago will become aparent in the next sentence). They appeared to be giving serious consideration towards buying a Sinclair C5.

I'd just like to point out that my previous post contained three different high-quality dwarf stories, two of which involved me in at least some small way.

Do I win 40p?

Jeffari-al-Texani wrote: They are fun for tossing as well!!!

Not to mention it will be included in the London Olympics, the Brits are the ones to beat supposedly.....

Jeffari-al-Texani wrote: Colin, might I inquire as to just what a Sinclair C5 is...

Google it.

Was a completely dizarre idea for a one-man electric car by this 'brainbox inventor' called Clive Sinclair (the same man that invented the ZX Spectrum and various other gadgets).

It didn't sell well because it was, truth be known, rubbish.

A midget in a suitcase!!!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKg1h\_63V1E

Leggy D wrote: A midget in a suitcase!!!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKg1h\_63V1E

did you remember to give someone the key first.

BIGINOIL wrote:

Jeffari-al-Texani wrote: Colin, might I inquire as to just what a Sinclair C5 is...

Google it.

Was a completely dizarre idea for a one-man electric car by this 'brainbox inventor' called Clive Sinclair (the same man that invented the ZX Spectrum and various other gadgets).

It didn't sell well because it was, truth be known, rubbish.

i broke one driving over railway tracks. true story. thogh sadly dwarf free.

Leggy D wrote: A midget in a suitcase!!!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKg1h\_63V1E

They could have let me sit on that panel,in place of Piers Morgan perhaps...

That way I could have voted the midget through to the final,whilst licking Les Dennis's ex from top to bottom,and mildly injuring Simon Cowell....Multi-task stylee! Mr Cowell is so rude cutting the little pocket-rocket off so quickly like that..You could tell she had yet to peak..though height-wise she peaked at 3ft 2" but that's beside the point!

Leggy D wrote: A midget in a suitcase!!!!!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKg1h\_63V1E

LOL Not quite Cirque Du Soleil