Vets

Had a new kitten recently; needless to say, the old cat we have hasn't exactly welcomed him with open arms. She has stopped eating and so I took her to the vets because I thought she was ill. Vet told me she had a lump in her intestine and it could very well be a cancerous 'lump'.

Took her in today. They rang this afternoon and said, it was just a hard lump of poo.

Gave me advice on how to keep the kitten and her apart - in as much as making them become 'friends'.

OK = great, nothing wrong with Sophie. She had an xray and a bloodtest.

£93.75

I wish I had that job. I can tell what's poo and what's not.

Sort of.

Meow

Johnny wrote: Meow

Bloody hell, could get a room in Wembley for less!

Mind you, I did omit to say, she had both legs shaved.

There again, I have mine waxed for a fraction of that.

We just get our cat entertainment from the local cats in the area.Don't bother getting our own.Don't have to put up with smell of cat food/cat shit in the house then.Sorted

outside you mangy cat!!!

for that price you could have bought eight brand new ones...

Stop feeding yer cats quesadillas

Kath wrote: Had a new kitten recently; needless to say, the old cat we have hasn't exactly welcomed him with open arms. She has stopped eating and so I took her to the vets because I thought she was ill. Vet told me she had a lump in her intestine and it could very well be a cancerous 'lump'.

Took her in today. They rang this afternoon and said, it was just a hard lump of poo.

Gave me advice on how to keep the kitten and her apart - in as much as making them become 'friends'.

OK = great, nothing wrong with Sophie. She had an xray and a bloodtest.

£93.75

I wish I had that job. I can tell what's poo and what's not.

Sort of.

It's sure money as well, cos people pay whatever it costs when it comes to their pets.

Glad your little puddy tat is okay :)

On the note of puddy tats . . . .

Probably been on before but v funny and true . . .

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary:

8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing! 9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing! 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing! 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing! 12:00 pm - Lunch! My favourite thing! 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favourite thing! 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing! 5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favourite thing! 7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favourite thing! 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing! 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Diary:

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously mentally ill.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...

Rosie wrote: On the note of puddy tats . . . .

Probably been on before but v funny and true . . .

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary:

8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing! 9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing! 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing! 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing! 12:00 pm - Lunch! My favourite thing! 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favourite thing! 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing! 5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favourite thing! 7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favourite thing! 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing! 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Diary:

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously mentally ill.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...

Fabulous

Kath wrote: Had a new kitten recently; needless to say, the old cat we have hasn't exactly welcomed him with open arms. She has stopped eating and so I took her to the vets because I thought she was ill. Vet told me she had a lump in her intestine and it could very well be a cancerous 'lump'.

Took her in today. They rang this afternoon and said, it was just a hard lump of poo.

Gave me advice on how to keep the kitten and her apart - in as much as making them become 'friends'.

OK = great, nothing wrong with Sophie. She had an xray and a bloodtest.

£93.75

I wish I had that job. I can tell what's poo and what's not.

Sort of.

i got charged £900 when my horse had toothache. asshole told me my horse had a ruptured intestine and would probably die.

wouldn't want his job tho - have you seen some of the stuff that they pull out of cows' backsides? (and i don't mean pat)

Cheers Rosie

Kath wrote:

£93.75

How much???? *cough* Kath are you sure that isn't a typo and it should be £9.37 with an old half pence left over???!

PS Will get back to your email, honest

Sam the Stokie wrote:

Kath wrote:

£93.75

How much???? *cough* Kath are you sure that isn't a typo and it should be £9.37 with an old half pence left over???!

PS Will get back to your email, honest

No, I do mean £93.75. That was meant to go into my shoe fund.

Much in the spirit of the cat v dog post, and inspired by thought that poor kitty's lifesaving fund could so easily have gone into the bottomless female shoefund pit........

Doc, your map is wrong. No female would go to JC Penny when they could go to a Nordstrom instead.

Doctor? wrote: Much in the spirit of the cat v dog post, and inspired by thought that poor kitty's lifesaving fund could so easily have gone into the bottomless female shoefund pit........

So true.

Doctor? wrote: Much in the spirit of the cat v dog post, and inspired by thought that poor kitty's lifesaving fund could so easily have gone into the bottomless female shoefund pit........

So true.