40 replies · 1,062 views
and you win £40 in Drachma
Strongbow.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Fuck off. You ordered the shite pint, don't make excuses not to drink it.
Blue Monday Mars Bar ad. Doesn't that tit realise he should at least be walking around to the '88 remix if he wants to be trendy???
What about that car ad where the bloke and bird go for a ride, and then he pops the question of marriage, to which she says yes just because she's in a bloomin' car! 
:p
Nick King wrote: What about that car ad where the bloke and bird go for a ride, and then he pops the question of marriage, to which she says yes just because she's in a bloomin' car!
Aye a 4got that one,was it kia cee'd or summat/
Elephant.co.uk ARRRRGHHH! that smug looking cunt and his oily voice are so horrible I don't just mute the telly, I turn it off.
Most car protection rack...sorry insurance adverts.
Any and all from AmbulanceChasingCunts.com "hi, are you a congenital retard? did you do something deeply moronic at work and break a nail? then call us and our professional scheisters will help you fuck your employer over so badly that they sack half their staff, even though you'll get 15p after we take our fee".
And those for products which are pitched towards...how shall I put this....the dimmer end of the female populace.
"scientifically proven to be 73.2% nicer" "contains new tachyonic cretinoids that actively fight the effects of breathing" "now with distilled ebola monkey spunk extract to make skin glow" I could go on.
And any that lie through omission REALLY get me, cos apparently, people who are NOT suspicious smart arsed fuckwitts simply cannot understand that.... "Free from artificial colours and preservatives" does NOT mean "healthy and free of chemicals" but actually means "Loaded with enough aspartame to embalm a blue whale"[1]
When I become world leader, there will be a long wall and plenty of ammo for advertising cunts......have we any here..speak up bastards!!
[1] Aspatame when metabolized turns initially into methyl alcohol (that's meths, so it's ok if yer from Glasgae), which in turn becomes....FORMALAHYDE...fucking embalming fluid!!!! This process is in and of itself very harmful, never mind bein half embalmed by the result. In hospital the treatment for meths poisoning (for non-scots), is lots of ethyl alcohol, ie booze, as the body will process it in preference to methyl, allowing it to be pissed out. The moral of the story? the only time Diet Coke will not poison you, is if you drink it with a quadruple vodka.
Doctor? wrote: And those for products which are pitched towards...how shall I put this....the dimmer end of the female populace.
"scientifically proven to be 73.2% nicer" "contains new tachyonic cretinoids that actively fight the effects of breathing" "now with distilled ebola monkey spunk extract to make skin glow" I could go on.
If you read the small writing at the bottom of a particular cosmetics advert which probably stops wrinkles and '80% of women agree'....it says the test was done on 52 women!!!
80% of 52 isn't a lot of women!
Nick King wrote: What about that car ad where the bloke and bird go for a ride, and then he pops the question of marriage, to which she says yes just because she's in a bloomin' car!
tch! you have missed the whole point. the bloke is capable of popping the question because he drives a kia cee'd and thus evidently embraces the concept of a QUALITY COMMITMENT, ie the 7 year manufacturer guarantee. i quite like this one. it brings a tear to my eye. (i'll be an unmarried woman in her thirties, then.)
picture loans is the one that makes me turn over. i can't bear it. that car one with richard burton reading under milkwood is clever though. mesmeric stuff.
(please god don't let anyone say it's environmentally unethical to 'just go for a drive'...)
There's one for a toilet air freshener, where this Japanese kid shits himself again, but the air freshener plug in runs out, and he wails to his English looking mum. She replaces the 'tablet' or whatever it is, and the family returns to a happy existence. The father probably still wondering why his child looks Japanese.
Now thats fucking annoying.
EDIT: Monty posted the same one!.. Great minds.
What ahout DFS, Land of Leather, Sofa World ads?
SALE NOW ON, THIS WEEKEND ONLY, ACT NOW...
Then sure enough a fortnight later,
SALE NOW ON, THIS WEEKEND ONLY, ACT NOW...
Oh and that Beauty Editor who advertises some beauty cream with a new miracle ingredient - pentapeptides or something, anybody can tell she's had more cosmetic surgery than Pete Burns 
does anyone remember the penalli pen adverts? ("but wait! that's not all! it can write upside down, and pierce cans, and you can throw it at a dartboard! and there's more! it also comes with a free handbag pen, a three colour biro and a seventy-eight piece refill set!")
my god, they were so bad they were brilliant - we used to quote it endlessly at school. years later i went out with the bloke that wrote it. oooh, he'd be first against the wall in cambo's brave new world...
- Norwich union car insurance (soundslike a yodeler who's had too much cocaine)
- picture loans
- sheila's wheels
- injury lawyers 4u
- Daz (one where he "meets" long lost brother in Oz
- Fook it, cant remember anymore,fill the rest in for yer unkle
I can't disagree with any of the above bar Sheila's Wheels, theres just something about it that me and my 5 year old love. Oh, and what about the kids toy advert where the dog takes a dump? What the kcufs all that about?!!!
Doctor? wrote: [1] Aspatame when metabolized turns initially into methyl alcohol (that's meths, so it's ok if yer from Glasgae), which in turn becomes....FORMALAHYDE...fucking embalming fluid!!!! This process is in and of itself very harmful, never mind bein half embalmed by the result. In hospital the treatment for meths poisoning (for non-scots), is lots of ethyl alcohol, ie booze, as the body will process it in preference to methyl, allowing it to be pissed out. The moral of the story? the only time Diet Coke will not poison you, is if you drink it with a quadruple vodka.
Lethal stuff, aspartame - having a cigarette is probably better for you! 
Personally, I'd rather eat sugar than any of this artificial sweetener crap...
Oh, and Aspartame is in virtually EVERYTHING - I make a point of looking at ingredients to find something that doesn't contain it...
nuttsy mate.
what the fuck are you talking about adverts for mate.
how am i supposed to remember a fuckin 2 minute advert from one week to the next. fuck all that advert shite mate.
what about Barnsley Bangers.
lets talk
:p
King John Honest John wrote: nuttsy mate. what the fuck are you talking about adverts for mate. how am i supposed to remember a fuckin 2 minute advert from one week to the next. fuck all that advert shite mate.
they could have just had adverts on match of the day between all them liverpoool goals
banshee wrote:
King John Honest John wrote: nuttsy mate. what the fuck are you talking about adverts for mate. how am i supposed to remember a fuckin 2 minute advert from one week to the next. fuck all that advert shite mate.
they could have just had adverts on match of the day between all them liverpoool goals
i know bansh. but what pisses me off is all the "we're gnna win the league singin". why? hello!!
better squad no doubt about it. but its such a fuckin hard slog.
MONTY wrote: Or that air freshener ad,with the little kid having a shit.TOO MUCH!!!
I am SOOOO with you on that one.......
Jeffari-al-Texani wrote: This one sucks...
No, This is worse, the one the only THE McRIB!!!!
Missy Jem wrote: Oh and that Beauty Editor who advertises some beauty cream with a new miracle ingredient - pentapeptides or something, anybody can tell she's had more cosmetic surgery than Pete Burns
It came on telly last nite,lady commented on the fact that when said bird in commercial smiled here face didnae move very far and she'd had more work done than a 19th century terrace house! 
Th vert was for oil of olay btw.
Head On, apply directly to the forehead. Head On, apply directly to the forehead. Head On, apply directly to the forehead. Head On, apply directly to the forehead. Head On, apply directly to the forehead. Head On, apply directly to the forehead. Head On, apply directly to the forehead. Head On, apply directly to the forehead. Head On, apply directly to the forehead.
Shellshocker wrote: Head On, apply directly to the forehead. Head On, apply directly to the forehead. Head On, apply directly to the forehead. Head On, apply directly to the forehead. Head On, apply directly to the forehead. Head On, apply directly to the forehead. Head On, apply directly to the forehead. Head On, apply directly to the forehead. Head On, apply directly to the forehead.
I like that one...and I've thought of trying to make a Viagra stick like that...what would it be called...
you guessed it...
Hard on, apply directly to the...
Insulting.All of them. 40 odd quid a month SKY subscription and still loads of adverts. Fuck off.
watching the Fox Soccer Channel, all of the words to the following commerical are stamped indelibly into my brain (it's the Bruce A. Berman travesty......though those stupid Enzyte commericals are long gone) 
Jeffari-al-Texani wrote: I like that one...and I've thought of trying to make a Viagra stick like that...what would it be called...
you guessed it...
Hard on, apply directly to the...
Are you in advertising?
At the moment, we have an advert with Didier Drogba for Kinder Bueno chocolate bars... weak... but better than using regret of New Order to sell alike stuff...
I suffer when New Order is used for adverts. It spoils everything in my mind (good or bad memories)...
Regret : kids running with a toy airplane in a field. Regret is no more a fave of mine sincethen. Thank you Kinder GmbH. 60 MPH : used by McDonald's in order to sell "thimber" burger. But I never really liked 60 mph anyway...
Shellshocker wrote:
Jeffari-al-Texani wrote: I like that one...and I've thought of trying to make a Viagra stick like that...what would it be called...
you guessed it...
Hard on, apply directly to the...
Are you in advertising?
No...should I be???
Jeffari-al-Texani wrote:
Shellshocker wrote:
Jeffari-al-Texani wrote: I like that one...and I've thought of trying to make a Viagra stick like that...what would it be called...
you guessed it...
Hard on, apply directly to the...
Are you in advertising?
No...should I be???
I don't know. Do they have comercials on Skinemax?
Presently (and pretty much for the past couple of years in actual fact) it's only ONE ad / campaign that has been getting right up my nose and making me contemplate storming round to the nearest one of their warehouses and firebombing it to the ground.....
and it's....
:dead: 
Their ads are the most bloody fcuking irritating in the world ever. And thanks to their relentless saturation advertising, they have spawned whole hoardes or imitators. All those fcuking cheesy-grinned yuppified suburbanite greaseballs lounging and posing around like utter complete dicks every single day in the newspapers and on the television and even on the radio makes me sick!. I swear, without fail there is at least five or six DFS ads in the newspapers each and every day. There is absolutely NO escape from the fuckers.
And it seems that their so-called "sales" seems to go on forever. I mean, do they ever end anyway? What is the point of having a sale and then telling everybody to "hurry up as the sale will end on Sunday or bank Holiday" when in actual fact it seems to be on permanently every fcuking day? Stupid bastards! Grrrrrr! It makes me mad! Just seeing that inane bint leering at us from the screen on yet another of their million TV ad variations makes me wanna kick the TV in! Fcuk off! 
Matthew Lesko-selling a $39.95 book to show how you can get free money from the US government
even worse Matthew Lesko has a rap video! Oy vey....
How about the very first McDonalds commercial:
No wonder, they're the worlds # 1 (or are they really?)
Indeed!
Oh I forgot "Clit Bang".
Jesus, dodgy name and ads SURELY intended to worm their way into human brains purely by virtue of irritation value.
cadbury dairy milk choc.
that real looking Gorilla who can play the drums. boss drummer. 
it goes on for ages too.
but what's the link to chocolate? god knows.
Nice Car,
Lets get married, buy a house, kids and live happily ever after.
OK.
Fuck off yer weird cunt!... 
