http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/tees/7124519.stm
So where do you think he's been these last 5 years?
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Missing for 5 years
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There's somethin in a canoeist, prison officer and 5 years missing.......
But me mind's gone blank.
I'll get ma coat.
If I can remember where I've put it.
Sorry 
:bag: He was probably sitting in his local social (D.H.S.S) waiting for a "nightboat" (to Cairo). 
Poor fucker, they'll be wanting to know how he's been meting his outgoings/paying his bills. 
I was touched by this quote from his Dad. Puts any problems of my own into perspective:
Darwin's 90-year-old father, Ronald, of Blackhall Colliery, Co Durham, was too ill to speak about his son today.
"I don't want to have any more strokes," he said.
Nic Hunter-Heywood ifyouplease!
And he made an album! It's really good too :
Could be he's full of it. He wanted to leave his wife and family for some younger bird... staged the whole thing.. but she got tired of him, kicked him to the curb... so he's coming back claiming amnesia...
EdelBrock wrote: Could be he's full of it. He wanted to leave his wife and family for some younger bird... staged the whole thing.. but she got tired of him, kicked him to the curb... so he's coming back claiming amnesia...
A la Harold Bishop off Nreighbours? 
Lucky fucker - to get out for 5 yrs, i have to go there every bastaard day, the dumb monkey hanging fuck 
NOT
Front page of The Evening Gazette this one.. Well,that and Boro's Lee Cattermole being thrown out of 3 of the 7 pubs in Yarm... Pubwatch beckons for the young Boro starlet.:sigh:
King John Honest John wrote: reggie perrin
he prob had some bird on the go.
The 'other' woman let him stay cos he turned up with a canoe in his pocket,she sez.
Boatraceface wrote:
King John Honest John wrote: reggie perrin
he prob had some bird on the go.
The 'other' woman let him stay cos he turned up with a canoe in his pocket,she sez.
have you seen his old dad.
he must have got a big shock.
King John Honest John wrote:
Boatraceface wrote:
King John Honest John wrote: reggie perrin
he prob had some bird on the go.
The 'other' woman let him stay cos he turned up with a canoe in his pocket,she sez.
have you seen his old dad. he must have got a big shock.
I have,90 year old.
My old fella is the Spark at Home House,the prison where this guy worked as a screw before he did a Lucan..
Hey imagine if he turned up in the shower and EVERYONE IN THE WORLD had dreamed the last five years.
Fucking hell how good would that be?
New Order would still be together. I'd be single. Err...
Alright, I can't remember much about the last five years, but wouldn't it be brilliant to have it all to do again?
BIGINOIL wrote: I can't remember much about the last five years, but wouldn't it be brilliant to have it all to do again?
Aye; my severe illness, unemployment, homelessness, poverty, depression, stress, my wee niece having sudden life threatening brain surgery, my mother being really ill, funerals and to top it off my ex-assaulting my children and absconding to another country with them.
Whoopee-fucking-do!
Lets do it all over again!
Now missing out on the next five years of unrelenting never ending misery that would be cool!
MIMX aka Mr Shiny-Happy-Person?!
:\pissedoff: 
:angry2: :finger: 
:hate: 
:violent2:
MIMX wrote:
BIGINOIL wrote: I can't remember much about the last five years, but wouldn't it be brilliant to have it all to do again?
Aye; my severe illness, unemployment, homelessness, poverty, depression, stress, my wee niece having sudden life threatening brain surgery, my mother being really ill, funerals and to top it off my ex-assaulting my children and absconding to another country with them.
Whoopee-fucking-do!
Lets do it all over again!
Now missing out on the next five years of unrelenting never ending misery that would be cool!
MIMX aka Mr Shiny-Happy-Person?!
:\pissedoff:
Jezuz! I thought I had problems... Things'll pick up mate they always do eventually,you are overdue some happiness,respect for getting through that lot!
Anyone got any lowdown about his missus selling the family home and moving to Panama 
three months ago?
Something odd there. Police were monitoring her or summink when she moved.
Further twist....the guy has been arrested!
Looks like he'll be missing for ten more years,to prison.
he is up shit creek with a padel now
He'll be as popular as a fart in an astronaut suit,in clink if he gets sent down...The guy is an ex-prison officer
CrazyCat wrote: I didn't see in the article what he has supposedly done wrong!
Me neither,but I'm guessing Insurance fraud.He was a screw at Home House,just up the road from you Cwazy!
King John Honest John wrote: reggie perrin
he prob had some bird on the go.
see
his wife.
who the fuck goes to Panama from england anyway?
where is it?
King John Honest John wrote: who the fuck goes to Panama from england anyway? where is it?
Just down the canal a bit, I think... Maybe he was trying to paddle there in his canoe... 
Has he actually been arrested? Said so on the news this morning, but it hadn't been officially confirmed...
Snorri xxx
seen front page of todays Daily Manc.
fotie of him and missus from 2005 in Panama.
its him alright.
what A plonker!!!
Anyone see the first ever "Clocking Off"?!
John Simm turns up at home to see his wife and kids after going missing for a couple of years, thinking that he'd only left the day before and having no idea of where he'd been all that time.
Eventually it all transpires that he'd faked his own death cos he'd gone off with another woman, but then he gets a clump on his head and goes back to his former wife cos he'd totally forgotten about the new life he'd created!
Summat like that anyways.
Aren't one of the Red Tops claiming that this new lad who's reappeared was actually photographed in Panama with his Mrs a few weeks back?
Boy, they're up shitcreek!
Boatraceface wrote:
CrazyCat wrote: I didn't see in the article what he has supposedly done wrong!
Me neither,but I'm guessing Insurance fraud.He was a screw at Home House,just up the road from you Cwazy!
ooh that makes me more interested!
From what I read in the paper at work today he was ina a lot of debt when he disapeard
I reckon he's been in Panama for years, following a big Reggie Perrin style insurance scam. She got all the cash, moved over, and told him to feck orff.
And he's returned to about the only place he knows, claiming amnesia. She's in Panama allegedly surprised at the news, although not rushing over, as she is 'waiting for her furniture to arrive'. Hmmmm.
In 2005, police were called after one of his work colleagues recognised him near his house in Seaton Carew. Police investigated (i.e. did f'all) but found nothing. The guy from Panama in the pic knew the couple under other names, so presumably they have different passports.
I was curious as to whether we have an extradition treaty with Panama, and apparently we do, although its never been used since its inception in 1907. First time for everything.
Apparently the reason that picture appeared was that after the story first broke, somebody decided to google both of their names and Panama... The picture appeared amongst the search results!
I mean, if you're going to pretend you're dead for 5 years and lost your memory, then don't put a picture of you and your wife in front of a house in Panama on the bleedin' internet!
If I'm reading this right in the press, they never let their children know ... so they genuinely thought their dad was dead, whereas it was just a scam by the folks all along!
What a pair of uttercunts.
Fairly stupid uttercunts at that.
Their plan was over-complicated, cruel and generally crap.
If you want to run away to Panama and trouser your own life insurance then surely staying in Panama is a better way of avoiding detection than wandering into your local nick.
He could have at least put some seaweed in his hair or something...
Burt Reynolds wrote: I reckon he's been in Panama for years, following a big Reggie Perrin style insurance scam. She got all the cash, moved over, and told him to feck orff.
And he's returned to about the only place he knows, claiming amnesia. She's in Panama allegedly surprised at the news, although not rushing over, as she is 'waiting for her furniture to arrive'. Hmmmm.
Defo looks like an insurance scam and they've had a falling out.
He's effectively shopping her. They will have to repay the insurance money and won't be able to get insurance of any sort again. The family will disown the pair of them, what the mother has done is worse than the father as she knew he was alive but didn't tell them. Quite what their reaction would have been is unknown. Any family feud and it would have still come out.
Imagine an ex prison officer going to jail
Kevin Smith wrote: He's effectively shopping her. They will have to repay the insurance money and won't be able to get insurance of any sort again. The family will disown the pair of them, what the mother has done is worse than the father as she knew he was alive but didn't tell them. Quite what their reaction would have been is unknown. Any family feud and it would have still come out.
March? What on earth are you doing in March, Kevin?
Or, rather, what on earth is there to do in March?
My Grandad was a publican in March!! Roughly thirty years ago now though, but I remember visiting there loads in my yoof. Think his boozer was called the Royal Exchange, it was in the market square.
El Jarvo wrote:
Kevin Smith wrote: He's effectively shopping her. They will have to repay the insurance money and won't be able to get insurance of any sort again. The family will disown the pair of them, what the mother has done is worse than the father as she knew he was alive but didn't tell them. Quite what their reaction would have been is unknown. Any family feud and it would have still come out.
March? What on earth are you doing in March, Kevin?
Or, rather, what on earth is there to do in March?
My Grandad was a publican in March!! Roughly thirty years ago now though, but I remember visiting there loads in my yoof. Think his boozer was called the Royal Exchange, it was in the market square.
Long story. We used to have family that lived in March and we visited lots in the 80s when I was a slip of a boy. Skip forward 20 years and I am a carer for my mum cos she had dementia. No job, need to raise funds. Sister lives in Ramsey, about 15 miles from March. Houses are cheap in March, sold the house in Stanmore for a massive profit and bought this place outright. It made sense to me. Also dumped the Croatian girlfriend at the same time. That was deifintelt a good thing to do, just discovered that she has been lying through her teeth about being in London when the website owner can see that ISP address is Croatia. Swapped a 2 up 2 down in Stanmore for a 3 bed semi with a massive lounge and massive conservatory and a large amount of change.
What is there to do? Dunno, I listen to my hifi (New Order of course) and AV system which is better than the local flea pit. The Royal Exchange has just reopened under new management, I usually drink at The Acre across the road and down the alleyway. Don't go there often, shiftwork sees to that. Fishing is good though. There are worse places to live, Stanmore had gone downhill severely and I was glad to move in the end. I now work in Peterborough as my mum lost her battle with dementia in April.
Kevin Smith wrote: I now work in Peterborough as my mum lost her battle with dementia in April.
Sorry to hear that Kevin... But as you said it could be worse - you could live in Peterborough... I work in Huntingdon and that always makes me feel better, knowing that I don't actually have to live there!
Snorri xxx
Snorrimon wrote:
Kevin Smith wrote: I now work in Peterborough as my mum lost her battle with dementia in April.
Sorry to hear that Kevin... But as you said it could be worse - you could live in Peterborough... I work in Huntingdon and that always makes me feel better, knowing that I don't actually have to live there!
Snorri xxx
Did you hear that Tesco have refused to deliver to the Orton area of Peterborough after 4pm due to anti-social behaviour
Mind you, they are only 2 minutes from the huge Hampton branch which is open 24 hours so it's not like they can't get their shopping in whenever they need to.
My mate used to live Orton Goldhay. His father was a German POW who stayed. They were popular with the local inbreds 
oldmonkey wrote: Sort of half proves and half fucks all those evolution theories!
well, his last name is darwin!
AgentWood wrote:
oldmonkey wrote: Sort of half proves and half fucks all those evolution theories!
well, his last name is darwin!
Who said irony was lost on the Americans?
Jeff, time to roll out your irony joke again...
Chris Nash wrote:
AgentWood wrote:
oldmonkey wrote: Sort of half proves and half fucks all those evolution theories!
well, his last name is darwin!
Who said irony was lost on the Americans?
Jeff, time to roll out your irony joke again...
It only took a few days too :)
Chris Nash wrote:
AgentWood wrote:
oldmonkey wrote: Sort of half proves and half fucks all those evolution theories!
well, his last name is darwin!
Who said irony was lost on the Americans?
Jeff, time to roll out your irony joke again...
I personally can't STAND irony....
That's why my wife does it... I like my shirts nice and starched!
Yes the guy has been charged!!
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20071208/ts_nm/britain_canoeist_dc
This might make a nice trashy movie.
