Of Love, Lust, and Marriage
About Communication... LOVE: When you communicate through the universal language. LUST: When you communicate through body language. MARRIAGE: When you communicate through a third party - usually a psychiatrist, a priest, or a lawyer.
About Kissing... LOVE: When you kiss above the neck. LUST: When you kiss below the neck. MARRIAGE: When you kiss and you make up.
About your relationship... LOVE: When your relationship lies on a bed of roses. LUST: When your relationship lies on any surface. MARRIAGE: When you lie about your relationship and sleep on a bed of nails.
About what you think of your partner... LOVE: When you think of your partner as a soulmate. LUST: When you think of your partner as a bedmate. MARRIAGE: When you think of your partner as a problem.
About your partner... LOVE: "You and me against the world..." LUST: "You and me anywhere, anyhow, anytime!" MARRIAGE: "You and your in-laws! @#^#@"
About what you write... LOVE: When you write poems about your partner. LUST: When all you write is the phone number. MARRIAGE: When all you write are checks.
About what you wish... LOVE: When you wish upon a star. LUST: When you wish upon a starlet. MARRIAGE: When you wish you didn't.
About roses... LOVE: When rose is her favorite color. LUST: When rose is the color of the contraceptive. MARRIAGE: When Rose could be the other woman.
About bundles... LOVE: When you hold a bundle of joy. LUST: When you hold a bundle of underwear. MARRIAGE: When you hold a bundle of bills.
About farewells... LOVE: When your farewell is, "I love you darling." LUST: When your farewell is "So, same time next week?" MARRIAGE: When your farewell is a relief.
About what you hold... LOVE: When you hold hands. LUST: When you hold buns. MARRIAGE: When you hold each other hostage.
About seeing... LOVE: When you are proud to be seen in public with your partner. LUST: When you only see each other naked. MARRIAGE: When you never see each other awake.
About waking up... LOVE: When you wake up with a smile. LUST: When you wake up because it's check out time. MARRIAGE: When you wake up outside the bedroom.
About proposals... LOVE: When you propose with a ring. LUST: When you propose another round. MARRIAGE: When you propose to do the laundry.
About protection... LOVE: When you protect your partner from harm. LUST: When you protect yourself from disease. MARRIAGE: When you wear a body armor and helmet for protection.
About your ring... LOVE: When your anniversary / engagement / wedding ring is in your finger. LUST: When your anniversary / engagement / wedding ring is in your pocket. MARRIAGE: When your anniversary / engagement / wedding ring is in the pawnshop.
About being on a crowded room... LOVE: When your eyes meet across a crowded room. LUST: When your tongues meet across a crowded room. MARRIAGE: When you lose your child in a crowded room.
About ownership... LOVE: When you share everything you own. LUST: When you steal everything your partner owns. MARRIAGE: When the bank owns everything.
About cheating... LOVE: When cheating is considered a crime. LUST: When cheating is considered a sport. MARRIAGE: When cheating is considered when filing your income tax.
About pleading... LOVE: When you plead for forgiveness for your crime - and you're granted a pardon. LUST: When you plead temporary insanity for your crime - and you're under probation. MARRIAGE: When you plead innocence - and you're sentenced to life.
About sex... LOVE: When sex is about having kids. LUST: When sex is about having bastards. MARRIAGE: When sex is about having brats.
About greetings... LOVE: When you greet them with, "How's your day?" LUST: When you greet them with, "How was I?" MARRIAGE: When you greet them with, "Where have you been?"
About ordering... LOVE: When you order food from a restaurant. LUST: When you order for room service. MARRIAGE: When you're ordered to finish the leftovers in the freezer.
About going out... LOVE: Going out means you're on a date. LUST: Going out means checking-in at a motel. MARRIAGE: Going out means having to do the grocery.
About phone calls... LOVE: When you phone each other just to say, "Hi." LUST: When you phone each other to set the meeting. MARRIAGE: When you phone each other to bitch.
About emotions... LOVE: When your heart flutters every time you see them. LUST: When your groin twitches every time you see them. MARRIAGE: When your head aches every time you see them.
About promises... LOVE: When you promise to change for the better. LUST: When you promise for a better performance. MARRIAGE: When you promise to pay the bills.
About time... LOVE: When you cherish your time together. LUST: When you take advantage and maximize of your time together. MARRIAGE: When you confront each other whenever you're together.
About others... LOVE: When nobody else matters. LUST: When nobody else knows. MARRIAGE: When everybody else matters and you don't care who knows.
Indeed!
